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21 Humans Who Make Being Human Look Really, Really Hard

Tag: Called Out

Khabib Nurmagomedov Wants Gilbert Melendez on Epic Super Bowl Weekend Card


(When ‘Thriller’ starts playing, Gil starts dancing. No exceptions. Photo via Getty.)

Begin praying to the benevolent Gods of good health and fortune, Potato Nation, because the UFC’s already stacked Super Bowl weekend card (UFC 169) is about to get even more stacked-er.

Prior to his unanimous decision victory over Diego “Sherm Sticks” Sanchez in a Fight of the Year-nominee at UFC 166, final Strikeforce lightweight champion Gilbert Melendez was asked by FOX LA who he’d like to fight next were he to get by Sanchez. Barring another title shot, Melendez more or less called out fellow top contender Khabib Nurmagomedov.

Seemingly in response to Melendez, Nurmagomedov posted the following to his Instagram account (which is the most intimidating form of social media communication, if you ask me) yesterday:

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NATE DIAZ, YOU HAVE BEEN SELECTED

By Diego Sanchez*

…TO BE CLEANSED BY THE HOLY FLAME OF OUR LORD ALMIGHTY. For I, “The Dream,” am his vessel, the grail from which his vengeance is spilled unto the meek, uncultivated swine of this forsaken planet. Yes! Yeessssssss!!

I AM A SAVAGE. A savage who has returned to the 155 pound division to prove to the world that it is physically possible to love something to death. My enthusiasm is a river which shall break the levy of your insolence.

What must I do to draw your attention, Nate? I called you out when I announced my return to lightweight, and just yesterday, I even resorted to your species’ archaic, Godless device of social communication to further needle you. Yet still you do not respond. Is it because you KNOW and FEAR that which is “The Dream?” That whose spirit can not be broken? CONFESS AND YOU SHALL BE SAVED. YESS!!

Forget your upcoming fight with Mr. Maynard, for we both know that your heart is not invested in that little escapade. Your heart will have no such option when we tangle, for I will expose it from your chest, hold it betwixt my fingers and show you His light. And in that fragile, fleeting moment, you will thank me. You will say, “I am grateful for your friendship, Diego. God bless you.” You will SURRENDER to my influence and join the army of DREAMERS I have amassed over the years!! YES!

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Strategic Call-Out Alert: Lombard Wants Marquardt at 170, Big Nog Hoping to Topple Struve in December


(“That guy on the right? Yeah, let’s go with him.” Photo via Getty Images.)

Although Hector Lombard‘s UFC career hasn’t exactly gotten off to the start he probably hoped it would, it appears that the former Bellator middleweight kingpin will join the likes of Brian Stann and Tim Boetsch (to name a couple) when he attempts to drop a weight class to save his career. Lombard informed Ariel Helwani on yesterday’s edition of UFC Tonight that, after enlisting the help of Mike Dolce to make a test cut to 170 lbs, he is now ready to make a full commitment to welterweight and already has an opponent in mind: former Strikeforce one-time welterweight champion Nate Marquardt.

Although Lombard was being rumored to coach opposite Patrick Cote on the next international season of The Ultimate Fighter, it appears that he will need a little more time to make a safe cut. As much as we’d like take a shot at Lombard for calling out a guy on the heels of a first round KO loss, this fight honestly makes a good deal of sense considering where both men currently stand. Marquardt has dropped his past two contests to Jake Ellenberger and Tarec Saffiedine, while Lombard has dropped two of his past three as well (to Boetsch and Yushin Okami). It’s crazy to think that a little over a year ago, we would have assumed this fight was for some kind of title or #1 contender bout at the minimum, not the right to stay employed. Yet here we are.

Speaking of two fighters in need of a win…

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[VIDEO] Wanderlei Silva Responds to Chael Sonnen’s Twitter Challenge With Some Weird, Scary Statements

In typical Chael Sonnen fashion, the outspoken whateverweight recently issued a challenge to Wanderlei Silva with a 24-hour expiration date. Apparently Sonnen’s ability to lose fights yet subsequently talk himself into main events has confused him to the point that he believes he is a UFC matchmaker. Sure, Silva is coming off of an impressive knockout win and yes, Sonnen has lost two in a row. But when has being on a career downturn ever stopped the “American Gangster” from getting fights with more famous fighters who are actually winning before?

“I gave him the timeline…if he doesn’t answer, I’m done and I’ll move on,” Sonnen said from his Fuel TV analyst’s seat this week.

Wanderlei finally responded to Sonnen’s challenge yesterday, and thankfully not on Twitter. Silva told Ariel Helwani that he’s never been offered the Sonnen fight by, you know, the people who offer fights in the UFC. Sonnen also apparently didn’t realize that the communication medium of choice for twelve year old girls would mean little to Wanderlei.

When Fuel TV called up Silva for comment on Sonnen’s challenge, Wanderlei took things from the world of Twitter to a much weirder and more frightening place. First off, Helwani said that Silva “laughed uncontrollably” — which, if you’ve ever heard him laugh, is scary enough – before adding that, Jon Jones and Anderson Silva have been too nice to Chael. I want to suck his blood. I want to smell it. Not just fight. Not just fight. I want to hurt him…”

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Tim Sylvia is Still Chasing That UFC Dream, Wants Either Frank Mir or Pat Barry for His Never-Gonna-Happen Return


(Sure, “Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Champion” is a respectable title in its own right, but it just doesn’t carry as much weight at the Playboy Mansion, you know?) 

If there’s one thing you can say about former UFC heavyweight champion and Depends spokesperson Tim Sylvia, it’s that the SOB is persistent. Although his once successful MMA career has become little more than a series of punctuated jokes nowadays — most of which revolve around his fat, fatty, “Fatty Boom-Boom” fatness – “The Maine-iac” will simply not be denied his rightful place back in the UFC’s heavyweight division no matter how many times Dana White pisses in his cornflakes.

But the main issue preventing Sylvia’s UFC aspirations from coming to fruition is one that he doesn’t seem to realize: relevant wins. In the past few years, Sylvia has crushed a few cans (and a professional bodybuilder) in unimpressive fashion, been decapitated in 9 seconds by an aging boxer, dropped a decision to Satoshi Ishii, and been spared a loss on a loosely-defined technicality in his completely unnecessary fourth fight with Andrei Arlovski at OneFC 5. Yet despite all this, Sylvia is still holding onto the hopes that he will end his mixed martial arts career “where it started,” which for all intents and purposes is the UFC. He spoke with MMAWeekly:

I don’t know what is going to happen in the future of the UFC heavyweight division. Ideally I would like to finish out my career where it started and that is in the UFC. There’s great fights out there for me and I’d like to put on a great show for the fans on the biggest stage there is, and that’s obviously the UFC.

And who would Boom-Boom like to face in his glorious return, you ask? For starters, Frank Mir, who infamously snatched Sylvia’s title (and his arm) at UFC 48: Payback, otherwise known as the event wherein Ken Shamrock scored his last relevant win…over Kimo. But the second name on Sylvia’s hit list (just beating out Jared from the Subway commercials because “I ate a thousand of those subs and didn’t lose a fucking pound.”), might surprise you:

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Suicidal Call Outs of the Day: Akira Corassani Wants Conor McGregor, Anthony Perosh Wants Vinny Magalhaes

Famed Miami S.W.A.T. team leader Rick Smith (RIP) was once famously quoted on the difference between bravery and courage and offered the following words of wisdom: “Bravery is when you do something dangerous and you’re not even scared. Courage is when you’re smart enough to know that you should be scared, BUT YOU DO IT ANYWAY.” Ten seconds later, he met his demise via one insanely elusive hand grenade. And while we’re not sure if the next two gentlemen we’re about to discuss are brave or courageous, we do know that they are doing nothing short of pulling the pin out of a live grenade to prove it. Metaphorically speaking, of course.

Look, we’re all for fighters stepping up to face a challenge, over say, declining one even if it means the cancellation of an entire event, but this is getting ri-goddamn-diculous. First Cody McKenzie requests a firing via decapitation with Josh Thomson serving as executioner, and now TUF 14′s Akira Corassani is apparently petitioning for his next fight to end at the destructive hands of Conor McGregor when the UFC returns to Boston in August for that preposterously titled event.

Now 2-0 in the UFC since his time on The Ultimate Fighter, Corassani posted the above video on his Youtube page yesterday, and aside from possessing a very loose understanding of what a UFC contract is, pulled a Chael Sonnen and gave McGregor just 48 hours to respond to his call out. Uh, dude, McGregor was pretty much homeless before entering the UFC, so maybe give him a week to fire back on Twitter?

And speaking of fighters biting off more than they can chew…

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Suicidal Call Out of the Day/Possibly Year: Cody McKenzie Wants in on Josh Thomson’s Highlight Reel


(Must…resist…shit…getting…too…real…)

As a big fan of TUF 12′s Cody McKenzie, I’ve come to realize that it’s hard to fault the guy for his nonsensical and often self-destructive decisions, especially when it comes to choosing his opponents. The man reaches for the stars, dammit, and will simply not be told that he doesn’t have the right to call out Frankie Edgar, or Jose Aldo, or Chad Mendes, despite the fact that just managed to bring his win-loss ratio in the UFC to the .500 mark.

No, “The AK Kid” wasn’t one to overthink, or even realize the fact that he had dropped 3 out of his last 4 fights heading into his do-or-die bout with Leonard Garcia at UFC 159, which is why it makes total sense that he, now a featherweight, is calling out top lightweight contender Josh Thomson, like he didn’t just save his UFC career by beating a guy on a four-fight losing streak. How can you not love this kid?

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Move Over, Lorenz: Luke Rockhold Calls Out Costa Philippou, Wants Fight at ‘UFC on FOX 7′

Strikeforce MMA photos Lorenz Larkin
(We’re sorry for your loss, Lorenz, but believe us when we say that we know how it feels to be passed over.)

A few hours ago, we made the foolish suggestion that once all of Strikeforce’s chosen ones made their way over to the UFC, Luke Rockhold, should finally give Lorenz Larkin the title shot he had so rightfully earned by collecting four victories in their former promotion over mostly unknowns and nearly getting beaten to death by a roided up King Mo. Rockhold has been ducking him nursing various injuries for months now, and we figured it would be in the champ’s best interest to put all the doubt to rest in regard to Larkin once and for all.

Which is why it makes perfect sense that Rockhold has now called out Costa Philippou and completely invalidated our work in the process. Rockhold recently spoke with MMAFighting – but only because we were totally busy doing some research at the time — and not only did he pick a potential opponent for his UFC debut, but he picked a venue as well:

I think Costa Philippou makes the most sense right now. He’s coming off a win, and I think he’s a good opponent. Let’s get it on at [UFC on FOX 7].

As you can see, Rockhold is going to need to step up his shit-talking game if he ever wants a shot at becoming the real middleweight champion. Acknowledging a potential opponents victories? Calling him “a good opponent?” Jesus, Luke, if you don’t start making name-related insults (Can’t-stand-ya Tulip-poo?) or start mocking “the dirt poor Pygmy people of Cyprus” pretty soon, it’s going to be all FX and FUEL undercards for you from here on out.

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Daniel Cormier Would Still Like to Pulverize Frank Mir’s Brain in 2013, If That’s Cool


(“Psssh, you best drop that tough guy shit right now, Bigfoot, because I can see the future and it doesn’t look good for you.”)

I feel really bad for Frank Mir’s brain. While it is quite an impressive brain when compared to many of its MMA counterparts, it is clearly beginning to wear under the stress of some pent-up, masochistic desires. It has been beaten into unconsciousness in every one of Mir’s six MMA losses, including two particularly brutal/carried-out beatings at the hands of Brock Lesnar and Shane Carwin — both of whom have hands bigger than the average newborn deer — yet it still keeps coming back for more. Most recently, Mir’s brain stepped in on short notice to get kneaded like a fresh Arepa by Junior dos Santos at UFC 146, to the point that its host body was shooting invisible free throws by the end of the night. Twas a sad sight indeed.

Mir’s brain was scheduled for concussion #7 against Daniel Cormier in November, but was granted a temporary reprieve from the injury Governor shortly thereafter. Where one would think that Mir’s brain would go the Paul Daley route and call out someone way below its level for a gimme fight, it instead insisted on calling out Cormier again, CTE be damned.

And it appears as if Cormier is more than willing to play huckleberry to Mir’s twisted desires, as the champ recently stated that — once he gets past Whatshisname Iknowthis at the final Strikeface event in January — he would still like to settle some unfinished business with Mir’s masochistic brain.

FighthubTV has the scoop after the jump.

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Cheick Kongo Calls Out Stefan Struve, Who Has Already Started Padding His Protective Cup


(A glimpse into the nightmare that awaits Stefan Struve if he doesn’t start choosing his battles.) 

If I could spend a day inside the head of any UFC fighter – Being John Malkovich style — I would obviously choose Donald Cerrone, who is currently sticking it to Brittney Palmer if I remember correctly. High fives all around, guys! But on the off chance I could crawl inside the head of a second UFC fighter, I would have to go with Cheick Kongo, because based on recent events, I can only assume that his brain functions exactly like one of those twisty-turvey waterslides at your local amusement park.

In the past few days, Kongo has turned down a fight with Daniel Cormier, which is understandable, and turned down a fight with Roy Nelson, which is not so understandable for a guy who is coming off one of the most atrocious winning performances in UFC history. But after turning down the Nelson fight, Kongo sent out this tweet, which challenges the phrase “splitting hairs” on a level my brain has yet to fully comprehend:

I did NOT REFUSE to FIGHT Roy Nelson. I REFUSED to TAKE A FIGHT on SHORT NOTICE. Which is NOT THE SAME AT ALL.

Fine, Cheick, if that helps you sleep at night. I hate to judge a book by it’s cover, but if you were to tell me anywhere else that a man with pectorals the size of dinner plates refused to fight this dude on a month’s notice, I would probably call him a pussy. I said probably.

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