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Tag: can crushers

[VIDEO] Can-Crushing Roundup: Pudzianowski and Blachowicz Victorious, Panajotovic Pulverizes Pathetic Foe


*sigh*

Sometimes, there’s no shame in being a can crusher. As much as we love watching close fights between our sport’s top fighters, some of our sport’s most entertaining finishes came to fruition because a fighter of reasonable competence was locked in the cage with an utterly hopeless ham-n-egger. There’s nothing wrong with pounding the bejesus out of a hapless jobber every once in a while, which is exactly what Mariusz Pudzianowski, Jan Blachowicz and Dusan Panajotovic did yesterday. Fortunately for us, they filmed it for posterity as well.

At thirty-five years old, “can crusher” is probably the ceiling for five-time World’s Strongest Man Mariusz Pudzianowski’s MMA career. The odds of him ending up in the big leagues outside of his home country are pretty slim- which is perfect, because he seems more than content to smash freaks and nobodies in front of enthusiastic Polish fans. At yesterday’s KSW 20, Pudzianowski faced 4-1 Greek American prospect Christos Piliafas. All of Piliafas’ fights have ended by TKO- four of which in the first round. A technical grappling clinic this would not be, as Pudzianowski scored takedowns and eventually punched out Piliafas 3:48 seconds into round one. Unfortunately, videos of this scrap have quickly been taken off of YouTube. We know, we’re just as heartbroken as you are.

But as a consolation prize, we’re going to offer you KSW Light Heavyweight Champion Jan Blachowicz’s successful title defense against Houston Alexander from the same card. A win over Alexander may not mean too much anymore, yet Blachowicz never appeared in trouble throughout the fight. Unfortunately, save for an armbar at the end of round one and a triangle choke at the end of round two, neither did Alexander. Okay, so it’s a pretty lousy consolation prize. Whaddayagonnado?

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Can-Crushing Roundup: Tim Sylvia and Jong Dae Kim Win with Little Opposition


Hope you jerks are having a better Father’s Day than some of us.

Yesterday didn’t just provide us with depressing fights from former contenders. We also got to witness a fight from former champion Tim Sylvia and Jong Dae Kim attempt to win The Bob Sapp Challenge™. Okay, so it was still somewhat depressing. But at least you won’t feel guilty for pointing and laughing at anyone involved, so what else can you ask for?

Tim Sylvia has been making a valiant effort to win fights and get back to the UFC as of late- although the overwhelming majority of his battles have taken place on Twitter and YouTube. Fresh off of back-to-back TKO losses to Patrick Cote and dignity, Tim Sylvia decided to do his fighting inside the cage last night against Randy Smith, a thirty-eight year old journeyman who entered the bout with a 13-10-1 professional record. A can of his caliber shouldn’t last ten seconds in the cage with a former UFC champion, yet Smith defied the odds by being knocked twelve seconds into the first round.

Impressive victory over a game opponent? Not so much. Will it take our minds off of his last effort, a forgettable decision over Andreas Kraniotakes at the abysmal Pro Elite 2: Big Guns? Trick question- we’ve blocked that fight from our memories a long time ago. Low-Quality to the point of being virtually unwatchable video after the jump? You betcha.

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[VIDEO] Kimbo Slice Crushes ANOTHER Can, Improves to 5-0 as Professional Boxer

Speaking of things that happened last night that were laughably predictable, Kimbo Slice is still earning his bread as a professional boxer. Well, perhaps “earning” is the wrong word. Earning implies that he is making it by winning competitive matches against reasonably credible opponents. Really, $kala is just giving Kimbo his bread at this point. Or, if you’re cheesy enough to go there, Shaw is just feeding the guy.

I will say this much: At least last night’s fight wasn’t the (potentially-worked) shitstorm that was his last fight against Brian Green. After watching Kimbo get saved by the bell against a fitness instructor making his professional boxing debut on one day’s notice followed by his aforementioned bout with Brian Green, Shaw was taking absolutely no chances when searching for an opponent this time around.

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Bye, Bye, Bellator: Hector Lombard Offered UFC Contract, Awaiting “Strategic Decision” From Bellator Brass


(Anyone else want to negotiate?)

It’s looking like current Bellator middleweight champion and world renowned can-crusher Hector Lombard may finally get his chance to make waves in the UFC. Yes, it seems the man who has vowed to “take Anderson Silva’s head off” was recently offered a contract with the UFC in light of his dispute-ridden contract with Bellator expiring earlier this month. The Cuban-born knockout artist has been out of action since steamrolling Trevor Prangley in the second round of their catchweight non-title affair back in November of 2011, and has still yet to grant season five middleweight tournament winner Alexander Shlemenko his much deserved rematch. We can likely call that one a wash at this point.

And although that sucks for Shlemenko, we’ve got to admit that we’d much rather see “Lightning” in the UFC. If you recall, Lombard was supposed to make his promotional debut way back at UFC 78 in November of 2007 against Karo Parisyan, but Visa issues forced him to withdraw after he was denied entry into the country. He was eventually replaced by Ryo Chonan, who couldn’t handle “The Heat” and was defeated by unanimous decision.

Five years and countless corpses of MMA journeyman later, we may finally see Lombard live up to his potential.

But before we start setting ourselves up for disappointment, we (and the UFC) are awaiting a move from the Bellator brass, who still have an opportunity to match the UFC’s offer. Bellator CEO told Sherdog that a “strategic decision” would determine Lombard’s future with the company, but that they wouldn’t even begin deliberation until after this weekend’s Bellator 66 event:

We’ve received the final proposed UFC agreement from Hector’s attorney, and right now we are in the process of reviewing it to determine whether we’re going to match the agreement. We’ve got the 60 pages of UFC contract that were forwarded to us by Hector’s counsel.

Out of respect for Hector, I think we will turn [the UFC contract] around very quickly. Obviously, we have a huge event coming up Friday. As soon as that is over, we will sit down with our partners and go through the UFC contract line-for-line and make a strategic decision whether we’re going to match it or pass. [If we pass, we will] wish him the best and let him go knock out everybody in the UFC.

Check out more from the interview after the jump.

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0-3 Fighter Who Gave His Parents Crabs Mercifully Released From the UFC


(“I’m here to pick up your daughter. Or your son. Whoever’s free.”)

After a woefully shitty performance against Edwin Figueroa at UFC Live: Hardy vs. Lytle, Jason Reinhardt has officially been released by the UFC. It was Reinhardt’s third loss in the Octagon — in three different weight classes. At 41, he was the oldest active fighter in the UFC.

Reinhardt began his career as a wrecking ball in midwestern regional promotions, racking up an astounding 18-0 record with all wins by stoppage. (It should be noted that only five of his opponents had winning records, and about half were making their MMA debuts.) Though Reinhardt was originally signed to fight Roger Huerta at UFC 63 in 2006, a neck injury delayed his debut until the following year, where he was quickly choked out by Joe Lauzon at UFC 78.

Reinhardt returned to the midwest to beat up a couple more nobodies in local shows, and was inactive for a couple years nursing injuries. In February 2011, the UFC had Jason back as a featherweight, throwing him against Tiequan Zhang. Reinhardt lost by submission (again), this time in just 48 seconds. The UFC gave him one more chance earlier this month, this time at bantamweight against Edwin Figueroa. Reinhardt ran around the cage until Figueroa finally caught up to him and TKO’d him in the second round.

Also, he gave his parents crabs once. For real. That charming little story is after the jump, as told by Jason himself while wearing a coon-skin cap.

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The 8 Greatest Can-Crushers in MMA

can crushed crusher MMA photos
Can-crusher (n.): MMA fighter who makes his reputation by destroying the weak and inexperienced, but falls apart when faced with an opponent who’s half-decent. In no particular order, here are the eight fighters who have defined "can-crushing" more than anybody else in the sport, beginning with one who should still be very fresh in your minds…

BRANDON VERA (11-6)
Brandon Vera UFC broken face MMA
Notable cans crushed in the last three years: Reese Andy, Mike Patt
Biggest win in the last three years: Krzysztof Soszynski
Recent losses: Thiago Silva, Jon Jones, Randy Couture
A cautionary tale about believing your own hype, Brandon Vera’s career has unfolded in two distinct phases: The "sky’s the limit" phase, in which Vera hacked through every opponent in his path, culminating in his beat-down of former champ Frank Mir at UFC 65 — and the "when is this dude getting fired?" phase, marked by contract disputes, unchecked ego, underwhelming performances, and a half-dozen losses. Following the Thiago Silva fight at UFC 125, we expect the Truth to be sent back down to the minors where he can prey on scrubs for a while.

ALEKSANDER EMELIANENKO (17-4)
Aleksander Emelianenko boxing MMA photos
Notable cans crushed in the last three years: Miodrag Petkovic, Eddy Bengtsson, Ibragim Magomedov, Sang Soo Lee
Biggest win in the last three years: Honestly, he hasn’t beaten anybody worth mentioning.
Recent loss: Peter Graham
Fedor’s younger brother built a fearsome reputation in PRIDE for his ice-cold demeanor and lightning-fast knockouts of equally scary-looking mofos like James Thompson and Ricardo Morais. But ever since he left the Japanese scene in 2006 to compete almost exclusively in Europe, his career has drifted steadily out of relevance. A 2008 deal with Affliction signaled a return to meaningful competition, but it didn’t work out — reportedly because of health issues that he has denied ever since. His painful loss to Peter Graham last month suggested that even his can-crushing days might be coming to an end.

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Video: Aleksander Emelianenko’s Three-Year Can-Crushing Streak Comes to a Bitter End


(Props: 187872 via MMAScraps. Fight starts at the one-minute mark.)

Aleksander Emelianenko was back in action Saturday night in Khabarovsk, Russia, where he faced Australian K-1/Sengoku vet Peter Graham in the main event of Draka: Governor’s Cup 2010. Despite Graham’s decorated kickboxing background, he came into the fight with an underwhelming MMA record of 3-5, with notable losses to Kazuyuki Fujita, Rolles Gracie, and Jim York (all by first-round choke).

But this was no ordinary MMA match — special rules were in place so that fighters would be stood up after just 30 seconds. Not that it would matter to Aleks, who hasn’t needed much more than his fists lately. In fact, The Other Emelianenko had finished all of his previous eight opponents in the first round. True, most of those opponents were no-name punching bags who looked like they didn’t belong in the ring with him, and his April win against Eddy Bengtsson was one of the dive-iest dives in diving history. Would Graham be another conquest on Alek’s can-crushing streak? As the headline of this post should have already informed you, no, not at all.

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