(Yeah, we don’t get it either, buddy.) 

Perhaps the most unique thing you can say about last year’s TUF: The Smashes was that it showcased the age old rivalry between England and Australia for fans who might not have known how deep-seated it truly went. It not only raised the stakes between teams to a new level, but it also played a role in the verbal (and allegedly physical) on set squabbles between coaches Ross Pearson and George Sotiropoulos, and culminated in a pretty damn entertaining fight when all was said and done.

And while TUF: Brazil 2 is currently playing LinkedIn to The Ultimate Fighter’s Facebook, there were at least a few of us who were excited to see which rivalry would be showcased on the next other, other version of TUF, which I guess you would label the MySpace of Ultimate Fighters, maybe? I dunno; management keeps telling us that we need to start writing to our key demographic (drunk, agoraphobic 14 year-olds) and I’m just trying to keep up with the times. *stares out window, finishes scotch* 

In any case, MMAFighting has passed along word that the next international season of The Ultimate Fighter will showcase the epic rivalry between…Canada and Australia. I may have lost most of my long term memory in that scaffolding accident, but I can’t seem to recall any conflict every existing between the two –it doesn’t help the Wikipedia page for “Canadian military history” is completely blank.

Why the UFC decided to go with this rivalry (or another season of Australians, for that matter) is anyone’s guess, but here are a few rivalries we think would have better suited the next international season of The Ultimate Fighter…

(Nick Diaz just released footage of a pretty sketchy situation that he encountered before the UFC 158 weigh-ins. Read more about the so-called “Canadian loophole” right here.)

Marcus Davis Claims Waachiim Spiritwolf Suffered a Panic Attack and Was Never Kneed in the Groin (MiddleEasy)

UFC VP Marc Ratner Asks Commission to Revisit Rules Concerning Marijuana Usage (BleacherReport)

Matt Riddle Says Dana White Is ‘Just a Juice Monkey Who’s Bald, Who Doesn’t Know Sh** About Business’ (stephaniejoplin.com)

Another Team Lloyd Irvin Member Was Charged With Rape in 2008 (BloodyElbow)

Promoters Say MMA Fighter Charles Rowan Faked Death (ESPN)

Does Bigger Mean Better for Anthony Johnson? (MMAFighting)

A Complete History of Players Who Won Both NCAA and NBA Championships (Complex)

March Madness: The 10 Best NCAA Tournament Upsets in History (MensFitness)

Terrible Non-Rap Stuff Made by Rappers (EgoTV)

The Most Amazing Real Life Wilderness Survival Stories (DoubleViking)

The 50 Funniest TV News Captions Ever (WorldWideInterweb)

Ranking The ‘Air Bud’ Films By Plausibility (FilmDrunk)

RIP Black Lululemon Yoga Pants (Break.com)

(Keep in mind that Rashad makes $300,000 to show. Flowchart rules are officially in play. / Photo via USA Today Sports)

As confirmed by UFC president Dana White, the UFC will make its first visit to the Canadian province of Manitoba for UFC 161, which is slated for June 15th at Winnipeg’s MTS Centre. Two big-name light-heavyweight bouts are already tied to the card.

First up, Dan Henderson will try to bounce back from his split-decision loss against Lyoto Machida with a match against Rashad Evans, who could also use a little redemption following his own low-energy loss to Antonio Rogerio Nogueira at UFC 156. That defeat made it back-to-back losses for Suga, who previously fell short in his title challenge against Jon Jones. (Fun fact: The “Blackzilians” team that Evans belongs to currently holds a record of 12-15 in the UFC, with only Michael Johnson batting above .500.)

Speaking of Lil’ Nog, the Brazilian vet will be carrying a two-fight win streak into the Octagon with him at UFC 161 when he faces Mauricio “Shogun” Rua, who’s coming off his defeat against Alexander Gustafsson. The fight will come eight years after Rua won a decision against Nogueira in their first meeting at Pride Critical Countdown 2005, during the quarterfinals of PRIDE’s 2005 Middleweight Grand Prix — and apparently, these guys have been jawing about a rematch for some time now. But of course, Shogun isn’t the young phenom he used to be, and Nogueira definitely has some miles left in him. Any predictions for the rematch?

(Video via YouTube.com/CagePotato)

There’s nothing more entertaining than a bad street fight. With that in mind, CagePotato is kicking off a new collaboration with our old friend Gerald Harris, in which the MMA fighter/comedian overdubs some hilarious new dialogue to infamous street fight videos.

Check out the first installment of “Street Fight Funhouse” above, in which Gerald takes on a classic Canadian street-scrap from 1991. If you’d like to see future installments of this series, please subscribe to CagePotato’s YouTube channel right here. We’ll be putting out a new episode every other week. And show Gerald some love by visiting his own amazing YouTube page (HAHAHurricane) and following him on twitter!

Thanks for watching, and let us know what you think.

(Anderson Silva will be watching this one with great interest. / Photo via MMAJunkie)

Georges St. Pierre‘s 19-month hiatus from the Octagon is one of the reasons why MMA kind of sucked this year. But the UFC welterweight champion is back in the saddle tonight in Montreal against interim champ Carlos Condit, so come a little bit closer baby, get it on, get on, ’cause tonight is the night when two belts become one.

In the co-main event, Martin Kampmann battles Johny Hendricks for a potential title shot against the winner of St. Pierre vs. Condit. Plus: This clown, that weirdo, and Mark Hominick‘s must-win featherweight scrap against Pablo Garza. [Note: Nick Ring was supposed to fight Constantinos Philippou on the main card, but fell ill today and wasn't cleared to compete. Mark Bocek vs. Rafael Dos Anjos was promoted to the main card from the prelims.]

Guiding us through the proceedings is liveblogger-supreme Aaron Mandel Ben Goldstein!, who will be throwin’ down round-by-round results from the UFC 154 pay-per-view main card beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and let your voices be heard loudly and proudly in the comments section.

(*mind explodes*)

A fight MMA fans have been clamoring for the past few years is a super fight between two of the sport’s most dominant champions: Anderson Silva and Georges St-Pierre.

The stumbling block, besides the queue of challengers lining up to face both men is the fact that they compete in different weight classes — St-Pierre at 170 and Silva at 185. It would almost make more sense to have “The Spider” face 205-pound champ Jon Jones since they walk around at a closer weight and Silva has fought and won at light heavyweight, but “Bones” has stated that he has no interest in the fight.

One of the biggest proponents of a GSP-Silva pairing (which St-Pierre says he’s all for in the next 12 months) is UFC president Dana White, who stated this week that he would love to do the fight in St-Pierre’s home country,which would guarantee a sellout even if it was the only bout on the card.

“I want to put on big fights. I want to put on fights the fans want to see. I know how big that fight is. Imagine if we did Anderson Silva versus Georges St-Pierre anywhere in Canada, how big that fight would be. Believe me, I’d love to do it. We’ll see what happens,” he told MMAWeekly. “Obviously it’s a fight that people have been talking about for a long time. So like Georges said, first of all, he has to get healthy. Then he’s got to fight [Carlos] Condit. Anderson is fighting Chael [Sonnen], and then we’ll see where we go from there. I know that Anderson couldn’t make 170 [pounds], so it would depend on Georges moving up or those guys meet at a catchweight or something like that.”

(Full press conference video, via YouTube.com/UFC. Man, Nick Ring is like a *god* in that town.)

Today’s UFC press conference in Calgary resulted in a tidal wave of major announcements, highlighted by two title-fight bookings and confirmations of three Canadian events in 2012. Here’s what we’re looking at…

- The middleweight championship rematch between Anderson Silva and Chael Sonnen will take place at an 80,000-seat soccer stadium in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, not Sao Paulo as originally reported. [Ed. note: R.I.P., Chael.] The exact venue hasn’t been confirmed yet, and the event is expected to take place at UFC 147 on either June 16th or June 23rd. It will be the third time in 10 months that Rio will host a UFC event. We’ll be keeping our eyes out for this guy.

- For the third year in a row, the UFC will hold three events in Canada this year: UFC 149 in Calgary (7/21), UFC 152 in Toronto (9/22), and UFC 154 in Montreal (11/17). No matchups have been scheduled for the Toronto and Montreal shows, although welterweight champ Georges St. Pierre said he’d like to compete at UFC 154 if his knee-surgery recovery allows it.

(“We may even have Justin Bieber at the show as a special guest.”)

Just a friendly reminder that the UFC is holding an impromptu press conference today in Calgary, Alberta to announce its next Canadian show and that we’ll have the live stream starting at 2:00 p.m. ET. On hand for the open event will be UFC president Dana White, director of Canadian operations Tom Wright and Alberta-based fighters Mitch Clarke, Jason MacDonald and Nick Ring.

It’s expected that the main event for the July 21 show, which will be announced as UFC 149, will be a featherweight championship bout between 145-pound kingpin Jose Aldo (21-1) and former TKO, Shooto and Sengoku champ Hatsu Hioki (26-4-2), however an announcement will likely not happen at today’s presser.

In related news, a Canadian senator introduced a bill into Parliament yesterday that would see MMA legalized nationwide. Section 83 of the Canadian Criminal Code as it currently stands deems prizefighting illegal, which is why some provinces and territories have been reluctant to allow events in their jurisdiction in spite of the fact that others have amended the rules due to different interpretations of the archaic law.

Check out the UFC web player after the jump.

(Bellator: Now with twice as much maple syrup and back bacon.)

Canadian MMA fans will get a double-dose of Bellator Fighting Championships in back-to-back months this Spring.

CagePotato.com has learned that the Chicago-based promotion has secured May 4 for its second Ontario event of 2012 and that the show will take place at Casino Rama in Rama, Ontario. As we announced last week, BFC will also be holding an April 6 event in Windsor.

The May show will be the third held at the native-run casino. Both Bellator 47 and 57 took place at the venue.

Windsor, Ontario MMA fans will likely only have to wait a few more months for their next live fight fix.

CagePotato.com has learned that Bellator Fighting Championships have penciled in an event for April 6 in Windsor, Ontario and that the event is likely to take place at Caesar’s Windsor Casino, just across the Ambassador bridge from Detroit.

(Hey amigo, don’t forget to bag the stool. I’ll be making salad as a side tonight.) 

One minute it’s an emergency NSAC meeting, and now this. Don’t worry folks, the charges facing former UFC heavyweight champion Brock Lesnar will not affect his December 30th battle with Alistair Overeem at UFC 141, but Lesnar is now a fugitive in a country where sodomy is legal nonetheless. The charges aimed at Brock stem from a recent hunting trip he took to Alberta; I’ll let CJCYFM.com explain:

A recent hunting trip to Alberta has landed former WWE and Ultimate Fighting Champion Brock Lesnar in some trouble.

Fish and Wildlife officers confirmed the international celebrity has been charged with three counts in contravention to the Alberta Fish and Wildlife Act.  The charges came before Medicine Hat Provincial Court Thursday morning and include improper affixation of tags, spoilage of skin and edible flesh and possession of a controlled animal.

Neither Lesnar, nor his co-accused Chad Stryker, appeared in person in court.  Their matter has been put over until January 19th.

Phew. At first, the charges don’t sound that bad. That is, until you consider the fact that the controlled animal in question was a Garthok.

(*crickets*)

From the Toronto Sun via BloodyElbow:

Just eight months after 55,000 fight fans filled the Rogers Centre for the mixed martial arts company’s first ever Ontario show, Toronto will host UFC 140 on Saturday night. The fanfare for the event has paled in comparison to last April’s spectacle when the city had been buzzing for months about UFC 129, which was headlined by Canada’s own Georges St. Pierre. But this time around, it is being held at the much smaller Air Canada Centre…Despite the great line-up, there’s been little hoopla over the city’s second ever UFC event, which still has tickets available.

What the hell happened, Toronto? How did you go from a record-destroying immediate sellout in April to a “Good seats still available!” situation in December? On the surface, it doesn’t make much sense. So let’s throw some excuses around…

(Prepare to mobilize, Potato Nation North…)

Following the UFC’s record-shattering first visit to Toronto in April, the promotion plans on heading back to Canada’s largest city by the year’s end. According to an ESPN report, UFC 140 will take place at Toronto’s Air Canada Centre on December 10th. No fights have been announced for the card yet, and since Georges St. Pierre is already booked to fight Nick Diaz on October 29th, the country’s biggest star almost certainly won’t be showing up for an encore performance.

That should help explain why the event is somewhat scaled down compared to UFC 129, which hosted over 55,000 fans at Toronto’s Rogers Centre. The capacity of the Air Canada Centre is about 20,000, meaning that a sellout would put the attendance on par with the UFC’s hugely successful events at Montreal’s Bell Centre — still nothing to sneeze at.

(“I’ll see you in November. Keep my belt warm.”)

Bellator’s first foray into the Canadian MMA market has taken a major hit.

According to the Chicago-based promotion,  highly touted Brazilian featherweight Patricio “Pitbull” Freire has been forced to withdraw from a planned July 23 rematch with champ Joey Warren at Bellator 47 in Rama, Ontario, Canada due to a hand injury, leaving them scrambling to find a main event bout for the show in less than three weeks.

Freire confirmed the news via Twitter today along with a photo”Pitbull” tweeted of his injured paw.

(“The truth is I hurt it slapping my TV when they showed Chael Sonnen during the UFC 132 telecast.”)

(The good old days — when men were men and briefs were shiny.)

Hello to all of my Cage Potato friends and thanks again for your interest and questions. It’s been a busy 2011 so far and things are only looking better from here. Thank you for the wonderful night before UFC 129 in Toronto. To those who missed it, there was a Cage Potato: Banned party that week and I had the opportunity to meet many loyal readers and Cage Potato “Big Wigs.” As you may know, I’ve reached a different stage in my career and I hope to provide you with more honest insights into many of the things that I’ve learned. I’m pleased to be black by popular demand. Ask away for my next column. Also, add me on Facebook, Twitter, and my blog www.bigdaddyfightteam.com.

All the best and Happy Humping,
Gary Goodridge

‘Bob Villa’ asks: How do you feel about all the lay and pray we’ve been subjected to lately? What do you think about guys like GSP who seem to fight not to lose and never go for the finish?
You’re asking the wrong guy because I always went for the finish. I think just lying on top of somebody is just crap and ridiculous. However, when fighters start doing that they pay the price because the promotions are not going to bring you back. You already know I like Wanderlei Silva and Chris Leben; I also like a lot of the U.K. fighters like Dan Hardy because they always provide entertaining fights.

GSP is a different animal though. He is a champion. He doesn’t have to finish these guys. They have to finish GSP. His job is to keep his belt any way that he can because the belt means prestige and, more importantly, money. If I were him I would use every fibre in my body to walk away with the belt. I never won a championship beyond the International Vale Tudo Championship so I was never in a position to have to try and retain my belt. I was the guy who tried to shatter the myths of others fighters as champions.

People need to understand that guys like GSP are facing the top competition in the world every fight. There is no room for a mistake. It may not look like he’s doing much but trust me, he is.

‘bgoldstein’ asks: At PRIDE 11, you gave Yoshiaki Yatsu one of the most savage beatings I’ve ever seen in my life. Why did PRIDE book a rematch of that fight the next year? Did you feel bad accepting it?

(Curran vs. Friere could well be one of the best fights in Bellator history.)

Bellator Fighting Championships announced today that an anticipated featherweight title bout between champion Joe Warren and season 4 tournament winner Patricio “Pitbull” Friere will act as the headliner for the promotion’s first show in Canada on July 23 in Rama, Ontario.

Bellator 47 will be part of the organization’s summer series and will take place at Casino Rama, a native-run casino just northeast of Orillia.

According to Bellator CEO Bjorn Rebney, the overwhelming demand for a show in Canada and the recent decision by the Ontario government to sanction MMA prompted the decision to bring an event to a popular destination like Casino Rama, where the province’s first event was held in April.

“Our fans have been asking us to come to Canada since our first season,” says Rebney. “Casino Rama is an unbelievable venue and should make for a magical night of fights at Bellator 47.”

Propelled by the impressive viewership of his promotion’s first three events of season four on MTV2, Bellator Fighting Championships CEO Bjorn Rebney revealed to CagePotato.com yesterday that plans are currently underway to take his show on the road to Canada some time before the end of 2011.

“Earlier today I had a 45-minute conversation with the group that we work with who distribute Bellator programming up in Canada, The Score, about a collection of different venues, sites and dates that we’re going after to try to bring Bellator Fighting Championships to some time in the near future,” Rebney says.

(Even the cornermen are considering scalping their passes for this one.)

CP 24 is reporting that just over three hour after tickets went on sale Thursday for UFC 129 – Zuffa’s landmark first show in Ontario, fans snapped up each of the 42,000 tickets, prompting the promotion to open up more seats for the Rogers Centre show to ensure that there are tickets available to the plethora of fans waiting for Friday’s UFC newsletter pre-sale and Saturday’s general sale. Although the UFC’s director of Canadian Operations, Tom Wright selling 50,000 seats for the April 30 event, which will feature a pair of championship bouts, may be “pushing it,” judging by the response, the event could very well exceed the WWE’s record attendance mark for the venue of just south of 68,000.

(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

Good news: The Danavlog is back, baby. Bad news: It might be the worst one yet. Ladies and gentlemen, prepare yourself for a full seven minutes of Dana White busting the balls of Marty Cordova, who forgot his passport on the way to Canada. Seriously, the whole thing takes place in the cabin of their private jet, and that’s all that happens. Luckily, we can hit the pause button as soon as the bullying insult-routine becomes too grating; unfortunately, Dana’s employees can’t hit pause on their own lives. One of these days, Marty or that "Morzo" guy behind him is going to snap and tell Dana to go fuck himself, and Dana is going to be dumbfounded, and Lorenzo Fertitta will be cracking up, and through his laughter Lorenzo will ask Dana if he’s going to take that from an employee, and Dana will take his shock pen and shock Marty (or whoever) to death, and then he and Lorenzo will have to bury the body somewhere, and at that moment Lorenzo will realize that Dana can’t be controlled, even if he’s just a minority owner on paper, and no that’s not a subplot from Goodfellas, that’s a completely original scenario that I just made up, so suck it.

Semi-related: After a brief period of reconciliation, the UFC has indefinitely denied press credentials to Dana’s old rival, Sherdog.com. When asked by Josh Gross to explain the reason for the re-ban, Dana White responded, "none of your [expletive] business." 

(Props: twitter.com/danawhite)

After a 6-3 vote yesterday, the Vancouver City Council passed a resolution to regulate MMA for a two-year trial period. Though a handful of MMA events were sanctioned by the Vancouver Athletic Commission before 2007, the city council put a halt to the sport that year due to concerns over liability in the event of an injury. Since then, unregulated MMA events have popped up around the British Columbian city, some of which were funded by gang money. Now, Vancouver is giving mixed martial arts another chance. Said city council member Tim Stevenson about his "yes" vote:

Reacting to the news, UFC general counsel Lawrence Epstein told the Vancouver Sun, “We’re very pleased with the result. It’s important for this issue to be considered. Once people understand what this sport’s all about, they generally reach this conclusion.”

Following two successful events at Montreal’s Bell Centre, the UFC has long had an eye on Vancouver, and now plans to hold an event at the 19,000-seat GM Place (home of the Vancouver Canucks) in June 2010. And after that? “Ontario’s an important market for us and we’re hopeful we’ll get some momentum from what’s happening in British Columbia today,” Epstein said.

(Okay, but just so you know, shooting out jets of sparks from your arms is currently prohibited under the unified rules. Photo courtesy of faniq.com.)

I guess Bobby Lashley is serious about this cage-fighting stuff after all. MMA Mania reports that the former WWE star has signed with Canada’s Maximum Fighting Championship promotion, and will appear at their "Hard Knocks" event (May 15th, Edmonton) a month before he collides with Bob Sapp in Biloxi. Lash will be taking on Mike Cook, a Frank Shamrock-trained heavyweight who’s either 6-3 or 5-5, depending on who you ask. Will Cook further expose Lashley as a work-in-progress, or will Lashley redeem himself after his unsatisfying performance against Jason Guida? "Hard Knocks" will be broadcast live in North America on HDNet, and will feature UFC vets Marvin Eastman, David Heath, and Trevor Prangley.

MMA Mania also reveals that the June 27th Lashley vs. Sapp pay-per-view event has been given the official name of "Unarmed Combat." Din Thomas is expected to be on the card (along with Tom Atencio), and Lashley’s fight nickname is now "The Dominator." Yawn. Come on guys, I think we can do better than that…

#5: Jonathan Goulet vs Joey Brown @ TKO 17 (9/25/04), 7 seconds
He calls himself the Road Warrior, but Jonathan Goulet may as well be nicknamed “The Flash.” Twenty-five of the UFC/TKO veteran’s 32 pro fights have ended in the first round, and six have ended within the first 30 seconds. (Luckily, he’s won most of them.) Goulet’s all-time fastest victory was this seven-second KO against Joey “Knockdown” Brown. All it took was a head kick, a quick Thai clinch, and a knee fired right up the middle, and Brown was in dreamland. The win was Goulet’s fifth in what became a ten-fight win streak, which culminated in him scoring a contract with the UFC, shooting down Jay Hieron in his notoriously bloody Octagon debut, and choking out Shonie Carter back in Canada. As for Brown, he still seemed to be dizzy from Goulet’s knee during his next four fights, losing all of them.

CLICK HERE FOR THE VIDEO…

("Just out of curiosity, what’s up now, bitch?" Mousasi surveys the wreckage of the similarly-named Musashi in their K-1 match at Dynamite!! 2008.)

— Though he may still be making his U.S. debut for Affliction, Gegard Mousasi‘s next fight will be in Japan. FiveOuncesofPain reports that DREAM’s 2008 middleweight grand prix winner could return at DREAM 9 (May 23rd) to take on Rameau Thierry Sokoudjou; it would be Mousasi’s debut as a light-heavyweight, and his first MMA fight since last September. Sokoudjou currently carries a 5-4 record, and has dropped his last two matches to Luis Cane (at UFC 89) and Renato Sobral (at Affliction: Day of Reckoning). The African Assassin needs a break, but he probably won’t catch one here.

— A battle between two middleweight grapplers who flamed out of the UFC despite loads of talent has been booked as the main event of MFC 21 (May 13th; Edmonton, Alberta, Canada). MFC prez Mark Pavelich announced yesterday that Travis Lutter vs. Dean Lister would headline the show, which will also feature Marcus Aurelio, David Heath, John Alessio, and Solomon Hutcherson. Lutter hasn’t competed since his loss to Rich Franklin at UFC 83 last April, while Lister made his most recent appearance at UFC 92 in December, where he dropped a unanimous decision to Yushin Okami.

(Props: Bloody Elbow)

As mentioned yesterday, War Machine won his bout against the previously-undefeated Guillaume De Lorenzi at Friday night’s XMMA 7 event, ending the fight with a rear-naked choke after some back-and-forth grappling — which is also how he defeated Darren Zatkow in Spetember 2007. Luckily, he didn’t get probation for this one. Score!

(He’s wearing a hockey jersey! What more do Canadians want?)

So you thought you could keep the UFC out forever, eh, Toronto? You and the whole province of Ontario, just hanging out, watching hockey and that bullshit Canadian football, thinking you’re safe from MMA just because it’s technically illegal there. Well there’s one thing you didn’t plan on: Dana fucking White. And now he’s coming for you, and he won’t take no for an answer:

“I’m going after Canada after (I get approval in) New York and Massachusetts. I’m attacking Canada. I’m going to spend so much time in Canada I’ll have to buy a house. I’m going to live here until it’s done. I’m going to be sitting on the porch every day they come to work.”

You see what you’ve done, Toronto? You’ve forced Dana White to start stalking you. It’s like you’re Heather Locklear and White is me circa 1995. What can I say, it was a phase. Then she got old and starting appreciating the attention and I moved on with my life. It’s a whole thing I’d rather not get into. The point is, Toronto, I doubt you’ll be so lucky.

As much as Canadians seem to love MMA, it’s hard to understand the resistance to it at this point. But I guess you could say the same thing for New York. Eventually they’ll all give in, and they know it, so why not just quit stop screwing around and accept it. Unless this is all an elaborate ploy to see if Dana White will really buy that house. And he will. But damn, is the real estate market that bad even in Canada?

While UFC fans had their attention fixed on Chicago this weekend, there was another MMA card going down in Calgary on Saturday — Raw Combat Redemption — which featured a middleweight bout between Denis Kang and Marvin Eastman. As you can see in the above video, it only took 48 seconds (and one well-placed right hook) for the Super Korean to put the Beastman away. Now that’s how you end a main event, people. For full results from Redemption, hit up Sherdog. And if you can understand what the dude in the audience says at the beginning that makes everyone crack up, please let us know.

(Photo courtesy of JoeDuarteMMA.com.)

You might remember Joe “Hybrid” Duarte as the jacked Chamorro and TUF 8 contestant who may or may not have been called out by Dana White as “the next Anderson Silva.” With all the hype he was getting, many assumed that he’d go far in the show’s lightweight bracket. Well, according to a new report on TKO Xtreme, that doesn’t seem to be the case:

[Colloseo Championship Fighting] has announced that they have signed Sinister Brand’s new blood Joe “Hybrid” Duarte and Bad Boy fighter Pat Speight to six-fight contracts. Duarte, a native of Hagatna, Guam, possesses an unblemished mixed martial arts record of 3-0. Duarte made his MMA debut in September 2006 at TC 16: Annihilation in San Diego, California. Duarte scored a hard fought split decision over fellow newcomer Chris Kennedy. Since then, Duarte has reeled off consecutive submission victories over Ulfrano Rodriguez and Randy Bowers. Duarte will be appearing on the UFC’s The Ultimate Fighter 8.

I don’t know anything about Colloseo besides the fact that they’re based in Canada and their promo videos are God awful. Here’s one thing I do know: The UFC makes all TUF contestants sign confidentiality agreements forbidding them from revealing any results from the show until they’re aired. Which means one of two things: 1) CCF just accidentally blew up Duarte’s spot, and he’s now in deep doodoo with the UFC, or 2) Duarte fucked up so bad in the house that the UFC doesn’t care if people know he’s out of the organization. Either way, don’t expect to see the dude compete at the TUF 8 finale. Sorry, Guamanians…

(“Considering our fight is pretty much meaningless now, we’re just gonna bro out for a while, if that’s cool.”)

Partly because of BJ Penn’s restlessness and partly because of Roger Huerta’s stalled contract negotiations the UFC is no longer promising that the winner of Saturday’s match between El Matador and Kenny Florian will get an immediate title shot. During an appearance on TAGG Radio, Dana White edited previous statements about the fight’s #1 contender status:

“There’s no guarantees that Florian and Huerta are going to get a title shot after this fight,” White said of Saturday’s lightweight bout. “It definitely puts them in the mix … but definitely, if St. Pierre beats Fitch, it’s looking like it’ll be GSP (vs.) B.J. Penn.”

The thing is, that’s not exactly how Penn sees it. The Prodigy recently told MMA Weekly that he’s 170-bound no matter what happens in tomorrow night’s main event:

“I’d feel okay facing anyone for the welterweight title…It would be great to put on a big fight with me and St-Pierre, but then again, it’s about me fighting the best fighter and if Fitch goes down and proves he’s the best fighter, then he’s the man.”

(Former IFL fighter Claude Patrick: awake and relatively unscathed.)

It seems that the fighting didn’t stop with the final bell at Ottawa’s Freedom Fight this past weekend, as word of a taser-filled assault is spreading across the internet. The boys at Fightlinker (who attended the show, and whose whereabouts the time of the attack are currently unaccounted for) first mentioned the story yesterday.

Details about exactly who was tasered and beaten, by whom, and why, have all been sketchy. But Sherdog caught up with Canadian welterweight Claude Patrick, who was a victim of the assault. Unfortunately, because he was tasered into unconsciousness and then put into a medically-induced coma for twenty-four hours at the hospital, he doesn’t really know what happened either:

“All I know is that I walked into my friend Pete Rodley’s room to say goodnight and thanks for the show, and next thing I woke up in the hospital,” Patrick told Sherdog.com Monday. “I’m assuming I got tased from behind. They said I got hit with a stun gun or a taser and that’s all she wrote.”

[...]

“Dude, I was hoping you were calling me to tell me what happened,” Patrick joked. “They kept me in an induced coma for 24 hours and I just got up today. Actually, I thought today was Sunday.”

(Photo courtesy of UFC.com.)

Breaking into the U.K. is still a battle, and they’re just starting to dip their toes south of the border, but the UFC’s foray into Canada can now be considered a big, fat, stinking success. Dave Meltzer estimates that UFC 83 brought in as many as 650,000 pay-per-view buys — which would tie it for the third best-selling PPV event in UFC history — on the strength of a record number of Canadian buyers (estimated at about 100,000).

Expect the UFC to return to the Great White North on a recurring basis; and expect those events to be The Traveling Georges St. Pierre Roadshow. You thought Marcus Davis was typecast as “the guy who always fights in the U.K.”? Ho baby. GSP is a true star in Montreal now, and the UFC will be giving the new fans what they want. Now if they can only find a couple of other Canadian fighters to give a marketing push to, because right now they’re stuck with that one guy, and the other one, and what’s-his-face, and the dude with the crazy hair.

Somewhat related: Travis Lutter thinks Matt Serra should be worried about his job security after UFC 83. In an interview with FightHype, he said:

“I would guess Serra will have a similar fate as me if he loses the Matt Hughes fight…I mean, he was in the same locker room with me, Kalib and I think there were five other fighters that shared a locker room with him that night. Usually, the main event guys and the guy that has the belt get the nice locker room and stuff like that and here he is with one of the most crowded locker rooms. It’s really strange. They wanted GSP to get that title back so bad and he is marketable, but so is Serra. Serra is as funny as they come, but I’m sure there is a rhyme and a reason in their eyes behind doing everything; it’s just unfortunate.”