(Little did we know that this man would be the spark that rekindled a long extinguished flame.) 

A few weeks ago, we brought back the always entertaining caption contest, and even went as far as to claim that we would be bringing back the “Comment of the Week” as well. We might have just been riding the wave of enthusiasm at the time (or the aftereffects of huffing duster), but we almost completely forgot about our aforementioned promise to take you guys fishing, so to speak, and left you sitting on the curb with only your own sadness as a companion.

In either case, after determining what we thought were the funniest captions of said contest, you all responded in the dickish intelligent, kneejerk well thought-out fashion that has become the standard for CagePotato readers. Being that you guys are apparently way more capable of determining what is funny and what isn’t than we are (and probably run your own ultra successful comedic MMA blog when your not jet setting across the country as well) we decided to switch things up for the return of the comment of the week, and have handed over the power to you.

After the jump you will find your list of nominees, with links to each article for context, and a poll to decide on the true winner for the week. The winner for each week will be decided the following Monday and receive whatever shirt we have in stock (this week it’s a “Pull No Punches” Tee), so make sure to get your votes in ASAP, and make any possible arguments you can in the comments section.

And the nominees are…

(Hey, at least they’re actually doing something on this season of Whale Wars.) 

A congratulations is in order to those of you who managed to submit an entry for our “Pull No Punches” caption contest; all 134 of you. If this contest showed us anything, it’s that when it comes to comedy, or at least an attempt at it, you Taters are some like-minded SOB’s. There were at least 95 horsemeat jokes (including one likely hipster who thought ironically pointing out this fact would somehow win him a shirt), 20 some odd Anthony Johnson or B.J. Penn jokes (which are always solid), and a handful of Over the Top references (which were actually pretty awesome). Since we enjoyed scanning through your entries as much as the UFC enjoys scanning through our articles to keep us in check, we must first recognize some of the captions that just fell short of T-shirt glory.

franco3445: The Nevada State Athletic Commission came to the conclusion that the only way Overeem could compete with the T/E ratio of 14 men was to go against someone the size of 14 men.

skeletor: There is no fucking way that Anthony Johnson is making weight this time.

P2: They smiled when they realized, if you use your left hand, it totally does feel like someone else is arm wrestling.

Deadpanda: Not to be outdone by the Japanese New Year’s Freak Show, US promoters put together a 4th of July event between Alistair Overeem & Joseph Son’s inflamed right testicle.

RwilsonR: We all know BJ lets himself go between fights, but I had no idea he stops shaving his back.

mcw89138: Ladies and gentlemen, say hello to the new main event for UFC 149.

BossNasty: Reem…It’s not polite to play with your food.

And now, to the winners…

We’ll be the first to admit that sometimes, we’re so busy trying to report on the day-to-day happenings of the MMA world that we occasionally (re:often) lose sight of some of the benefits of being an MMA site that dabbles in everything from lowbrow to subpar comedy. Mainly, our ability to give out free shit to the funniest Taters trolling the comments sections (or the forums if they are really, really lonely).

That’s why we are proud to announce that, in honor of our mobile site finally being up and running, we will be bringing back the caption contests and comments of the week on a regular basis here at CagePotato, in the hopes that you guys will stop treating us like the goth kid with psoriasis at the MMA lunch table. Believe it or not, as sour as your opinions often are, we still enjoy hearing them, especially when they come in the form of a relentlessly dark or unnecessarily crass assessment of a candid photo.

Our newest caption contest awaits you after the jump, and we will be giving our signature “We Pull No Punches” shirts (pictures below) to the top three entries. So feel free to swing for the fences on this one as many times as your heart desires.

And today’s photo is…

(“I’ll be there in a minute, mom. First I need to go pwn these noobs on CagePotato.”)

After reading through the entries for this week’s caption contest, we have one thing to say: “Damn we miss our old kids. Those fuckers were funny and they didn’t bitch a quarter as much as you little bastards.”

But like any good parent, we just smile and lie through our teeth when we tell everyone how smart and great you ugly neanderthals are. We’re stuck with you, so we might as well make the best of it, right…*cough….Xeno…cough*?

Anyway, since we had to pick a winner, we chose the three that sucked the least. Seriously. We gave you guys three chances to knock it out of the park and the best you did was the equivalent LOL-wise of a Family Circus comic? Son, I am disappoint.

Check them out below, and remember that it ain’t easy to be funny, as you can tell by most of the entries we received.

*drops mic and walks away like Andrew Dice Clay*

(Hover-hands… making UFC fighters not seem like germophobes since 1993.)

We realized we haven’t had a good old fashioned caption contest in a while, so to make it up to you guys we figured we’d do three for the price of one. That way you can pick your favorite photo to mercilessly carve, rather than having us disappoint you by choosing one that dries out your creative juices. And you say that we never listen.

You know the drill. Come up with your best captions for these three Tracy Lee photos from last weekend’s “It Ain’t Chemo” fundraiser. Best one for each pic gets a CP devil horns or HOF T-shirt. One prize limit per entrant.

And….GO!

(“I’d like you to go in there and switch outfits with Ewan. And that’s not a suggestion if you ever want to work in Hollywood again.”)

We had some somewhat hilarious (and many, many more not so hilarious) entries in last week’s Haywire caption contest, but unfortunately for everyone else who wanted a shirt with a picture of Gina Carano choking out Michael Fassbender on it, there can only be one winner.

First, let’s take a look at our runners up, who win nothing but the satisfaction of knowing they made someone nearly laugh kinda smile with something they posted on the Internet.

Here are some of our *other* favorites in no particular order:

Kid Clam Curtains:
Steven: “…so you combine the two words and you get the term ‘gunt’.”
.
Gina: “Haha NOW it makes sense.”
.
Ewan: “Wait, I still don’t get it.”

Tyr:
Ewan McGregor: “Ooohhh you beat up people for a living, i thought you said beat off…. Well this is awkward.”

NomadRip:
Soderbergh: “Seriously. That guy that just left. Paxton or Pullman? I have no idea.”

scottdy:
“You realize I could kill you and the chick with the scarf in the blink of any eye?”

shatterproof:
Gina Carano and Ewan McGregor meet a young jewish boy riddled with cancer. Another wish fulfilled.

Check out the winner after the jump.

(“Avehay ouyay eensay atwhay wanehay is earingway?” “I owknay. I inkthay atthay is ymay arfscay.” “Guys, I know pig latin. And Gina, you can have your scarf back after the premiere.”)

The fine folks at Relativity Media have generously offered us a Haywire prize-pack to give away to one lucky reader who comes up with the best caption for the photo above.

The rules are simple: post your best (or worst) subtitle for the candid shot of Gina Carano, Ewan McGregor and Steven Soderbergh  above from last week’s premiere for the film in the comment section by 6:00 pm ET today for your chance to take home some swag from the movie including a Haywire t-shirt, bracelet and mini-poster. One entry per reader. The winner will be announced Monday.

(Images courtesy of AllElbows/Versus, Lionsgate.)

After wading through 178 entries for Friday’s caption contest, one thing is certain: You guys really love The Human Centipede. Not sure what’s up with that. Anyway, we’re psyched to give away some DVD/Blu-Ray combo packs for the new beat-’em-up flick Locked Down — a film that thankfully does not feature three people who have their gastrointestinal tracts sewn together by an insane German doctor. But first, we feel obligated to print a few captions that just fell short of the glory. Y’know, just to ratchet up the suspense…

(Image courtesy of LionsGate)

As we mentioned in last week’s Most Bizarre Submissions list, the prison-MMA flick Locked Down was just released on DVD and Blu-Ray, and we’d like to give away some copies. (Full disclosure: I haven’t seen the movie yet, but there’s already Oscar buzz around Rashad Evans’s performance. Plus, Kimbo Slice threatens to smush somebody’s shit in at one point.)

Speaking of "locked down," Takeya Mizugaki got LOCKED, THE EFF, DOWN last night at WEC 52 when Urijah Faber caught him in a rear-naked choke, putting him to sleep for an uncomfortably long period of time. A killer photo from the stoppage is after the jump, courtesy of AllElbows/Versus. Come up with a clever caption to the photo, and post it in the comments section below by Sunday night at midnight ET. We’ll post our four favorites on Monday; the winners will receive a Locked Down DVD/Blu-Ray combo pack. Props to LionsGate for making this possible, and good luck to all of you…

(Shirt images courtesy of 62Gear.com)

After two days and 350+ submissions, we’re proud to announce the three winners of this week’s caption contest, who will be picking up some kickass new t-shirts from Six Deuce! Was your entry worthy of recognition? Find out after the jump. But first, some honorable mentions…

(Images courtesy of 62Gear.com. Click to see larger.)

Our dear friends at Six Deuce have come out with two eye-catching new t-shirt designs that we thought you should be aware of. On the left is the "Fall Seven," which pays tribute to a famous Japanese proverb. On the right is the "Muay Thai Arena" shirt, which is basically just two guys fighting. You want ‘em? Well, you came to the right place.

After the jump, you’ll find a photo of Alistair Overeem meeting a river horse at some sort of broke-ass Dutch petting zoo. Submit a clever caption to the pic in the comments section by this Wednesday at noon ET; we’ll pick our three favorites and post ‘em later that day. First place gets both new Six Deuce shirts plus a pair of their satin MMA fight shorts. Second and third place get their choice of one of the new shirts shown above. Sound good? Now go earn it. And check out the rest of Six Deuce’s MMA clothing and equipment at 62Gear.com!

After frantically skimming through the 473 (!) entries that came in for this week’s caption contest, we’re happy to announce a winner. So who will pick up the duffel bag stuffed full of gear from Tokyo Five? We can’t tell you that just yet. First, the honorable mentions:

(Images courtesy of TokyoFiveBrand.com.)

This Saturday at UFC 119, former UFC welterweight champion Matt Serra will step back into the Octagon against old buddy Chris Lytle, who he defeated back in 2006 to win TUF 4‘s welterweight trophy. Serra is coming off his first-round KO of Frank Trigg at UFC 109 and hopes to make it two in a row against The Bonus Collector, who most recently subbed out Matt Brown at UFC 116. To commemorate the occasion, our friends at Tokyo Five want to give one of you a Muteki duffel bag stuffed to the gills with T5 gear. (Check out Tokyo Five’s denim, tops, and athletics selection to get a better idea of what you stand to gain here.)

You know what this means. Glory for one, heartbreak for many — it’s caption contest time. Check out the photo after the jump, and post a clever caption in the comments section below by Thursday at midnight ET. We’ll pick out our favorite and post it on Friday. First place gets the haul from Tokyo Five, runners-up will get CagePotato t-shirts. Simple as that. Now go take what’s yours…

(Images courtesy of Esther Lin/Shark Fights, Victory Belt)

Thanks to everybody who entered this week’s caption contest — even those of you who referred to "General Custer" as "General Custard." After sifting through 280 of your entries, we’ve pulled out the two that we think are most worthy of winning a signed copy of Jackson’s Mixed Martial Arts: The Ground Game, in stores now. As usual, there are a bunch of captions that were almost good enough. Let’s take a look at those first… 

A year after the release of their essential MMA striking-and-strategy manual The Stand Up Game, Greg Jackson and Kelly Crigger have teamed up again for Jackson’s Mixed Martial Arts: The Ground Game, a brand-new primer on ground fighting that was released on Friday. The book breaks down all the common grappling positions found in MMA (as well as Greg’s own cage-proven variations), helpfully illustrated with full-color photos, and even includes a section on nutrition contributed by P.R. Cole.  You can currently purchase the book for the bargain price of $23.07 on Amazon — or, you can win one of the two signed copies we have in our possession. You’re damn right it’s time for a caption contest.

After the jump, you’ll find a photo of Shark Fights off-color-man Don Frye sampling some of Amarillo’s local flavor. Come up with a clever caption and post it in the comments section below by Thursday morning at 8 a.m. ET. We’ll choose our two favorites and post the winners later that day. Good luck, folks. And thanks to Victory Belt for making this possible!

Thanks to everybody who submitted captions for our second Beatdown caption contest we had more entries for this one in the first hour than our entire Boston Fan Expo Lackey contest, which is both telling and hurtful.

Serously, who wouldn’t want to hang with Ben and ReX13 for a weekend in beantown? Rex might have even shared some of his sweet dance moves with you.

So who will get to enjoy Beatdown in the privacy of their own home? First some honorable mentions…

"I always knew fighting would get me chicks, but god damn! an orgy with 4 girls!? LUCKY ME!" -Professor MMA

"Only after one of the girls asks Rich exactly what a BJ-J is, Does he realize he signed up for the wrong seminar and it clicks why MJ is the instructor." -El Supreme Nacho

"Photographic proof that Michael Jackson is indeed in hell." -Beelzebuddy

"…Rich wakes up with a throbbing headache. He’s in a motel room he doesn’t recognise. He can’t seem to remember how he got there. He swears he only had the one drink. There’s a photo of him and three chicks with a Michael Jackson impersonator on a camera by the bed. "Weird", he thinks aloud. He hears a shower running. He’s starting to think he might have taken the girls back here for a night of "Rich creamy love", as he calls it. He hears high-pitched giggling from the bathroom, a smile spreads across his face.
Then he sees it, a white sequined glove on the bedside table…" -Rear Naked Poke who painted such a vivid picture it was somewhat disturbing.

And now the winners…

As promised, we’re giving you another opportunity to win a copy of the MMA flick Beatdown, out now on DVD and Blu-Ray. The rules are simple: Check out the photo after the jump of Rich Franklin and his buddies, and post a clever caption in the comments section below by tonight at midnight PT. We’ll announce our four favorites tomorrow, and you’ll bitch about how you thought yours was funnier. Now let’s get it…

(Photoprops: CageWriter)

Thanks to everybody who submitted captions for yesterday’s Beatdown contest; the general consensus was that Marcus Davis looks like a cross between E.T., Rocky Dennis, Sloth from The Goonies, the Elephant Man, and one of several characters from Total Recall. So who will go home with a copy of Beatdown (out today on DVD and Blu-Ray)? First some honorable mentions…

LikeTheWhiskey: This is what happens when you say "I’m a Yankees fan" in Boston.

Sudos KFC: the only thing the townsfolk would later agree on was that Quasimodo was never seen in the 209 again.

Dirt: "The doc said I’d look 10 years younger"

MoTropolis: "I think I’m allergic to getting punched in the face repeatedly."

Contraband:
The Stockton Makeover!
Get yours today!
Just call 1-800-420-DIAZ

dxhernandez: Shortly before, the man to the left began to have an acid flashback from two hits of acid he had dropped at a 1985 KISS concert. As Marcus Davis approached he looked on with horror while trying to differentiate between reality and "fuuuuuuuu……"

ReX13: "Don’t be scarred, homey"
[Ed. note: As an increasingly visible contributor to CagePotato, we'll say that ReX is disqualified from winning contests for a while. But come on, how brilliant is that.] 

And now the winners…

This week’s caption contest brought in 241 entries — but only five of you will walk away with your very own copy of The Crazies, which is available now on DVD and Blu-Ray. So who made the cut? Our hand-selected winners are after the jump. Laugh, complain, do what you’re gonna do. Props to Anchor Bay Home Entertainment for making this happen…

If you were able to sit through Cris Cyborg vs. Jan Finney this weekend without barfing, you probably have an appreciation for over-the-top violence. And if that’s true, you might be interested in the fact that The Crazies is being released on DVD and Blu-Ray tomorrow. Hit us with the synopsis, IMDb:

As a toxin begins to turn the residents of Ogden Marsh, Iowa into violent psychopaths, sheriff David Dutton tries to make sense of the situation while he, his wife, and two other unaffected townspeople band together in a fight for survival.

Anchor Bay Home Entertainment has hooked us up with five copies of the gritty horror flick, which we’d like to pass on to you, our beloved readers. To claim one, you must come up with a clever caption to the photo after the jump. Please submit your entries to the comments section of this post by Thursday at midnight PT; we’ll choose five winners on Friday, who will all receive the movie in the format of their choice. Sound fair? Then let’s get to work…

(Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.)

After sifting through over 250 entries — most of them surprisingly hilarious — we are pleased to announce the winners of our latest caption contest, brought to you by Ranger Up. But first, some honorable mentions…

danomite: Angela could only watch and wait patiently for the day to come when she too would be old enough to drunkenly walk over to some guy she’s never met before and ask him to scribble his name on her boobs.

jimmylegs: Guy in the background: "Which one do you want? I’ll take the freaky chick wearing the hat."

Slampage: Darrill Schoonover gets a sweet autograph from Urijah.

Harry Nips: "We’re keeping it PG-13 for the kid. Urijah, do you mind putting some underwear on your ass-chin?"

cagepotato: "I can’t wait to go home and show this to my boyfriend, Jose."
[Ed. note: No, we're not shouting out ourselves. Some joker started an account as "cagepotato" to post this. Luckily, he/she did us proud.]

hotsaucemonster: "and could you make it out to Ebay?"

Millertime84: Do me a Faber, sign these Knockers.
[Ed. note: As the great Mark Twain once said, "If you don't like a good pun, then fuck you."]

And the winners are…

(Top: TUF 11 "Minority Report" member Kris McCray models the War Eagle Flag shirt from Ranger Up. Directly above: The War Eagle Crown and Phoenix Rising shirts.)

The honorable military men over at Ranger Up have just given birth to some new t-shirt designs, and they’d like a few select members of the Potato Nation to have them. Here’s how to win: Check out the photo after the jump, come up with a caption that makes us laugh, and post it in the comments section. Please submit your entries by Sunday at midnight PT; we’ll choose three winners on Monday, who will be eligible for one of the t-shirts shown above. Sounds good? Well get going, and if you have a chance please check out Ranger Up’s full line of badass (and occasionally hilarious) t-shirts, and visit The Rhino Den for RU’s original articles on MMA and military life.

(Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.com)

This week’s caption contest brought in over 350 entries — and yet none of them were references to Dr. Manhattan. Crazy. After considering all of your brilliant work, we’ve chosen three winners who will score Five Principles t-shirts from Tokyo Five. But first, some honorable mentions:

Desimus: Here you can see Rogan and Vera playing a game of "Guess where bits of my face will end up!"

Smitty: Yes, to the gentleman in the back…..I wear the speedo to show why I talk like a black man.

Ring_Rust619: "Hey honey, this is how many fights I have left till we have to rely on you winning fights to pay the mortgage"

Phil Bologna: "Strikeforce is that way!!!"

therussianglamourpuss: Brandon Vera and Joe Rogan point to their modesty and objectivity, both of which remained a good distance away.
therussianglamourpuss: Brandon Vera would rather go naked than wear Tapout.
[Ed. note: Great first effort, glamourpuss. Welcome aboard.]

ArmFarmer: I’m not reading 6 pages of this bullshit. I’m just going to assume that like the first page there is about 2 funny comments per page, the rest are unfunny to the point that they are painful to read, and 80% of them have something to do with an auction or a clock.

And now, your grand-prize winners:

If you watched that video of Bas Rutten beating up an entire cooking show, you may have thought to yourself, "My, I wish I had that handsome white t-shirt with the devil’s face and strange words at the top." (Come on, at least one of you must have thought that.) The shirt in question is known as the "Five Principles", one of the standout designs from Tokyo Five, an apparel company that specializes in jeans as well as custom tees for MMA fighters like Matt Serra and Gabriel Gonzaga. T5 was cool enough to hook us up with a few of those Five Principles shirts, which we’re going to give away to you, our beloved readers. Well, maybe not give away; you’ll have to work for them. Specifically, you’ll have to come up with hilarious captions to the photo after the jump…

(Royce/Chandella image courtesy of CombatLifestyle.)

‘Sup, guys? Guess what came out on DVD and Blu-Ray today? If you answered "Unrivaled, the latest Hector Echavarria joint starring a cast of UFC fighters," you’re absolutely right. If you answered "The Princess and the Frog," you’re also right, but it’s a little strange that you know that.

Last week we announced a caption contest to give away some copies of Unrivaled, and after more than 250 entries, we’ve selected five worthy winners. But first, some honorable mentions…

Vlad: Royce, dude, it’s just a joke. Chandella doesn’t really have your nose.

Goat: Little did Chandella know, a Gracie never backs down from a lopsided, freakshow of a fight.

Carl Sagan: "Stand back Dana, Logan has turned into some hideous zombie-like creature! I will kill It for you, Master…"

Lysol: 
Q: What do Chandella and Art Jimmerson have in common??
A: Neither want anything to do with being mounted by Royce Gracie.

Rosstamon: Dream 14?: Jits vs. Tits

And now…THE WINNERS!

When we first told you about Unrivaled, we wondered if Hector Echavarria had "finally created an MMA movie that’s worth renting." Well, it’s time to find out for sure. Thanks to Lionsgate and UnrivaledDVD.com, we’ve just been hooked up with five copies of the flick, which features UFC stars Rashad Evans, Forrest Griffin, Keith Jardine, and Nate Marquardt, and of course writer/star Hector Echavarria as a retired fighter seeking one last shot at glory. Want one of the DVDs? Too bad, because we’re keeping them all.

Okay, fine, we’ll let you guys have them, but only if you provide a hilarious caption to the photo after the jump…

While we appreciate everybody who entered our latest caption contest, the sad fact is that you can’t all be winners. In fact, we can say right now that all but nine of you are definitely losers. After slogging through over 250 entries, we’ve selected some finalists, which you can read below. Please vote for your favorite in the poll on the right; the top five vote-getters will all score Wrong Side of Town DVDs. So without further ado…

Randle McMurphy: Kimbo and Jared Shaw reminisce about the good old days.

Vlad: Say what you will, but at least he’s a more credible opponent than the guys Bobby Lashley’s fighting.

Duncdaddyfunk: Kimbo lures in his prey with a photo op before dunking his tiny hands in gold and making fist necklaces out of them.

CheckHisPee: "Yo little man, do you pooh regular or do pellets be droppin?"

ddbissel: I dont like Kimbo being this close to the ground.

Contraband: Kimbo takes time out of his training for a quick pic with Shonie Carter’s son.

drunkenmime: Miami’s toughest street fighter poses for a picture with Kimbo slice.

PurplePickle: Choking back tears of joy as the camera flashed, Curtis Sample was ready to let everybody on Facebook know exactly how he rolled.

steampunk22: Don’t FUCK with the Lollipop Guild.

Ay dog, we just wanted to let you know that our Wrong Side of Town DVD caption contest ends tomorrow at noon ET, so go here to throw in your final entries for a chance to win.

Bonus, after the jump: Check out the picture we were almost going to use for this contest, before we came across the above shot of Kimbo and the Pimpmidget. No, this is not another caption contest — wasting company time to come up with one-liners for a ridiculous photo of Aleksander Emelianenko should be its own reward.

(The tag line is "Who wants to die first" — just like that, without a question mark. That’s how you know these guys are serious.)

Don’t ask us where we got them, but we recently came into possession of a box of Wrong Side of Town DVDs, which don’t even hit stores until next Tuesday. (I know, I know, this crazy life we lead.) But instead of flipping all of them on the underground bootleg market, we’re going to skim five off the top and give them to you, our loyal and long-suffering readers. Hit us with the plot synopsis, LionsGateShop.com:

To win a copy of the flick, all you have to do is come up with a clever caption to the completely unrelated photo after the jump — which shows Kimbo Slice posing with the World’s Tiniest Pimp — and post it in the comments section below by Tuesday at noon ET. Finalists will be announced later that day. This is your moment, people. Grab it with both hands.

After sifting through over 250 entries for our latest caption contest — most of them absolutely awful — we found nine that stood out from the rest of the pack. Check ‘em out after the jump, and vote for your favorite in the poll on the right; the winners will be announced on Monday morning. If you haven’t been nominated, don’t freak out: You can still obtain a Glorious Sweater of Absolute Victory shirt from 62Gear.com for just $21.95. Check out all of Six Deuce’s lovely designs right here, and big ups to everybody who participated.