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‘The Ground Game’ Caption Contest: And the Winners Are…

Don Frye Hooters girls Texas funny MMA photos
(Images courtesy of Esther Lin/Shark Fights, Victory Belt)

Thanks to everybody who entered this week’s caption contest — even those of you who referred to "General Custer" as "General Custard." After sifting through 280 of your entries, we’ve pulled out the two that we think are most worthy of winning a signed copy of Jackson’s Mixed Martial Arts: The Ground Game, in stores now. As usual, there are a bunch of captions that were almost good enough. Let’s take a look at those first… 


Caption Contest: Win a Signed Copy of Greg Jackson’s ‘The Ground Game’!

Jackson's Mixed Martial Arts The Ground Game Greg Kelly Crigger MMA book

A year after the release of their essential MMA striking-and-strategy manual The Stand Up Game, Greg Jackson and Kelly Crigger have teamed up again for Jackson’s Mixed Martial Arts: The Ground Game, a brand-new primer on ground fighting that was released on Friday. The book breaks down all the common grappling positions found in MMA (as well as Greg’s own cage-proven variations), helpfully illustrated with full-color photos, and even includes a section on nutrition contributed by P.R. Cole.  You can currently purchase the book for the bargain price of $23.07 on Amazon — or, you can win one of the two signed copies we have in our possession. You’re damn right it’s time for a caption contest.

After the jump, you’ll find a photo of Shark Fights off-color-man Don Frye sampling some of Amarillo’s local flavor. Come up with a clever caption and post it in the comments section below by Thursday morning at 8 a.m. ET. We’ll choose our two favorites and post the winners later that day. Good luck, folks. And thanks to Victory Belt for making this possible!


‘Beatdown’ Caption Contest, Part 2 — The Winners!

Rich Franklin Michael Jackson impersonator funny MMA photo

Thanks to everybody who submitted captions for our second Beatdown caption contest we had more entries for this one in the first hour than our entire Boston Fan Expo Lackey contest, which is both telling and hurtful.

Serously, who wouldn’t want to hang with Ben and ReX13 for a weekend in beantown? Rex might have even shared some of his sweet dance moves with you.

So who will get to enjoy Beatdown in the privacy of their own home? First some honorable mentions…

"I always knew fighting would get me chicks, but god damn! an orgy with 4 girls!? LUCKY ME!" -Professor MMA

"Only after one of the girls asks Rich exactly what a BJ-J is, Does he realize he signed up for the wrong seminar and it clicks why MJ is the instructor." -El Supreme Nacho

"Photographic proof that Michael Jackson is indeed in hell." -Beelzebuddy

"…Rich wakes up with a throbbing headache. He’s in a motel room he doesn’t recognise. He can’t seem to remember how he got there. He swears he only had the one drink. There’s a photo of him and three chicks with a Michael Jackson impersonator on a camera by the bed. "Weird", he thinks aloud. He hears a shower running. He’s starting to think he might have taken the girls back here for a night of "Rich creamy love", as he calls it. He hears high-pitched giggling from the bathroom, a smile spreads across his face.
Then he sees it, a white sequined glove on the bedside table…"
-Rear Naked Poke who painted such a vivid picture it was somewhat disturbing.

And now the winners…


‘Beatdown’ Caption Contest #2: Franklin vs. Jackson

Beatdown movie cover Bisping Lashley Youngblood Trejo

As promised, we’re giving you another opportunity to win a copy of the MMA flick Beatdown, out now on DVD and Blu-Ray. The rules are simple: Check out the photo after the jump of Rich Franklin and his buddies, and post a clever caption in the comments section below by tonight at midnight PT. We’ll announce our four favorites tomorrow, and you’ll bitch about how you thought yours was funnier. Now let’s get it…


‘Beatdown’ Caption Contest, Part 1 — The Winners!

Marcus Davis UFC 118 Nate Diaz eye
(Photoprops: CageWriter)

Thanks to everybody who submitted captions for yesterday’s Beatdown contest; the general consensus was that Marcus Davis looks like a cross between E.T., Rocky Dennis, Sloth from The Goonies, the Elephant Man, and one of several characters from Total Recall. So who will go home with a copy of Beatdown (out today on DVD and Blu-Ray)? First some honorable mentions…

LikeTheWhiskey: This is what happens when you say "I’m a Yankees fan" in Boston.

Sudos KFC: the only thing the townsfolk would later agree on was that Quasimodo was never seen in the 209 again.

Dirt: "The doc said I’d look 10 years younger"

MoTropolis: "I think I’m allergic to getting punched in the face repeatedly."

The Stockton Makeover!
Get yours today!
Just call 1-800-420-DIAZ

dxhernandez: Shortly before, the man to the left began to have an acid flashback from two hits of acid he had dropped at a 1985 KISS concert. As Marcus Davis approached he looked on with horror while trying to differentiate between reality and "fuuuuuuuu……"

ReX13: "Don’t be scarred, homey"
[Ed. note: As an increasingly visible contributor to CagePotato, we'll say that ReX is disqualified from winning contests for a while. But come on, how brilliant is that.

And now the winners…


‘The Crazies’ Caption Contest: The Winners!

Rich Franklin UFC cast Liddell UFC 115

This week’s caption contest brought in 241 entries — but only five of you will walk away with your very own copy of The Crazies, which is available now on DVD and Blu-Ray. So who made the cut? Our hand-selected winners are after the jump. Laugh, complain, do what you’re gonna do. Props to Anchor Bay Home Entertainment for making this happen…

The Crazies DVD box cover


Caption Contest: Win ‘The Crazies’ on DVD or Blu-Ray!

The Crazies DVD box

If you were able to sit through Cris Cyborg vs. Jan Finney this weekend without barfing, you probably have an appreciation for over-the-top violence. And if that’s true, you might be interested in the fact that The Crazies is being released on DVD and Blu-Ray tomorrow. Hit us with the synopsis, IMDb:

As a toxin begins to turn the residents of Ogden Marsh, Iowa into violent psychopaths, sheriff David Dutton tries to make sense of the situation while he, his wife, and two other unaffected townspeople band together in a fight for survival.

Anchor Bay Home Entertainment has hooked us up with five copies of the gritty horror flick, which we’d like to pass on to you, our beloved readers. To claim one, you must come up with a clever caption to the photo after the jump. Please submit your entries to the comments section of this post by Thursday at midnight PT; we’ll choose five winners on Friday, who will all receive the movie in the format of their choice. Sound fair? Then let’s get to work…


‘Ranger Up’ Caption Contest: The Winners!

Urijah Faber WEC AMP fans
(Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.)

After sifting through over 250 entries — most of them surprisingly hilarious — we are pleased to announce the winners of our latest caption contest, brought to you by Ranger Up. But first, some honorable mentions…

danomite: Angela could only watch and wait patiently for the day to come when she too would be old enough to drunkenly walk over to some guy she’s never met before and ask him to scribble his name on her boobs.

jimmylegs: Guy in the background: "Which one do you want? I’ll take the freaky chick wearing the hat."

Slampage: Darrill Schoonover gets a sweet autograph from Urijah.

Harry Nips: "We’re keeping it PG-13 for the kid. Urijah, do you mind putting some underwear on your ass-chin?"

cagepotato: "I can’t wait to go home and show this to my boyfriend, Jose."
[Ed. note: No, we're not shouting out ourselves. Some joker started an account as "cagepotato" to post this. Luckily, he/she did us proud.]

hotsaucemonster: "and could you make it out to Ebay?"

Millertime84: Do me a Faber, sign these Knockers.
[Ed. note: As the great Mark Twain once said, "If you don't like a good pun, then fuck you."]

And the winners are…


Caption Contest: Win a Patriotically Ass-Kicking T-shirt From Ranger Up!

Kris McCray Ranger Up MMA t-shirt

(Top: TUF 11 "Minority Report" member Kris McCray models the War Eagle Flag shirt from Ranger Up. Directly above: The War Eagle Crown and Phoenix Rising shirts.)

The honorable military men over at Ranger Up have just given birth to some new t-shirt designs, and they’d like a few select members of the Potato Nation to have them. Here’s how to win: Check out the photo after the jump, come up with a caption that makes us laugh, and post it in the comments section. Please submit your entries by Sunday at midnight PT; we’ll choose three winners on Monday, who will be eligible for one of the t-shirts shown above. Sounds good? Well get going, and if you have a chance please check out Ranger Up’s full line of badass (and occasionally hilarious) t-shirts, and visit The Rhino Den for RU’s original articles on MMA and military life.


Tokyo Five Caption Contest: The Winners!

Brandon Vera Joe Rogan UFC Jon Jones
(Photo courtesy of

This week’s caption contest brought in over 350 entries — and yet none of them were references to Dr. Manhattan. Crazy. After considering all of your brilliant work, we’ve chosen three winners who will score Five Principles t-shirts from Tokyo Five. But first, some honorable mentions:

Desimus: Here you can see Rogan and Vera playing a game of "Guess where bits of my face will end up!"

Smitty: Yes, to the gentleman in the back…..I wear the speedo to show why I talk like a black man.

Ring_Rust619: "Hey honey, this is how many fights I have left till we have to rely on you winning fights to pay the mortgage"

Phil Bologna: "Strikeforce is that way!!!"

therussianglamourpuss: Brandon Vera and Joe Rogan point to their modesty and objectivity, both of which remained a good distance away.
therussianglamourpuss: Brandon Vera would rather go naked than wear Tapout.
[Ed. note: Great first effort, glamourpuss. Welcome aboard.]

ArmFarmer: I’m not reading 6 pages of this bullshit. I’m just going to assume that like the first page there is about 2 funny comments per page, the rest are unfunny to the point that they are painful to read, and 80% of them have something to do with an auction or a clock.

And now, your grand-prize winners: