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Win a DVD in the ‘Never Surrender’ Caption Contest!

Never Surrender MMA movie Echavarria Georges St. Pierre Quinton Jackson Anderson Silva BJ Penn

To commemorate the DVD release of Never Surrender on April 28th, LionsGate has given us five copies of the flick to give away to you wonderful people. Hit us with the plot summary, IMDb:

When an MMA world champion is lured into the illegal world of underground cage fighting by an elusive promoter, he quickly realizes that the only way out is to kill or to be killed. In a place where some fight for glory and some fight for the fight; he will fight for his life.

So it’s kind of like this, but with higher production values and a cast of actual MMA stars (Georges St. Pierre, BJ Penn, Anderson Silva, Quinton Jackson, and Heath Herring). You know you want to see that. And to score a copy of the movie, all you have to do is come up with an entertaining caption to the photo after the jump…

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Three-Way Caption Contest: The Winners

CB Dollaway Ryan Bader Gianna Lynn UFC MMA AVN
(A cunning array of STDs. Photo courtesy of Zimbio.)

What do you get when you cross two wrestlers from Arizona with one porn chick from the Valley? COMEDY GOLD. After sifting through seven pages of captions from last week’s impromptu contest, we’ve decided that these five are worthy of free t-shirts:

bpd: Bader learns the hard way that C.B. stands for "Cock Block"

Landertime: Fucking her would prove nothing, CB. You chose your sexuality when you put on that jacket.

El Famous Burrito: The scent of semen and raw fish in the air causes Ryan Bader to flash back to his TUF days.

Wyatt: Pictured: Three of the biggest pussies you’ll ever see.

Homoplata: Gianna: "Sorry Ryan, not tonight, I saw how boring you can be on top."

If you’re one of the fab five, please send your name, address, and shirt size to feedback@cagepotato.com, and we’ll hook y’up. And congrats to Gianna Lynn for being nominated for Best All-Girl Group Sex Scene (Girlgasmic) at the 2009 AVN Awards. You’re so much more talented than those other bitches!

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1-2-3-4, I Declare a Caption Contest

Ryan Bader CB Dollaway Giann Lynn UFC MMA porn
(Props: "BONEtheDOME" on the UG.)

Do we have a cool prize to give away today? Not really, other than some bullshit t-shirts. But this photo of CB Dollaway and Ryan Bader pretending to fight over adult film actress Gianna Lynn at the last AVN Awards show amuses me. Best three captions win a shirt. Winners will be announced early next week-ish. Here, I’ll start:

"They lived their lives by a code: Bro’s before ho’s. Until she came along and turned their worlds upside-down."

Or, this:

"I don’t do double-anal. Dollaway, where did you find this chick anyway?"

Good luck.

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Fighters Only Caption Contest — The Glorious Finalists

Fedor Emelianenko Sambo

After sifting through the entries to our latest caption contest, we’ve chosen eight finalists. Check ‘em out below, and use the poll on the right (scroll down a bit) to pick your favorite — the five people with the most votes will all score subscriptions to either the U.S. or Canadian versions of Fighters Only magazine; the other three are losers and will get nothing. (Okay, maybe we’ll send ‘em a t-shirt.) Results will be announced tomorrow. Thanks to everyone who entered!

***

Batman: After Fedor’s circumcision, the Russian Team celebrates because they now have enough meat to eat for a year.
[Ed. note: This has to be the front-runner for first-place, considering all the love it was getting by other commenters.]

SiDeBuRnZ: In mother Russia, sky go youdiving.
[Ed. note: Yakov Smirnoff would be proud.]

danomite: Everyone was happy til someone told Fedor that Nicoli forgot the ice cream. A mass funeral service will be held tomorrow at 2 pm.

philaxler: Fedor returning from his glorious arm bar victory over God.

MitchBanks: "Light as a Fedor, stiff as a board."
[Ed. note:We were surprised at how many of you made reference to that girls' slumber-party game, but whatever.]

mayhem420: 3 cheers for Emelianenko!?
Hep hep hooray?
hep hep hooray
?hep …..oh sorry that’s the other Emelianenko!

Michael W.:
"Finally, Jerry Millen‘s lips are off of my ass"

El Famous Burrito:
? Believe it or not,? I’m walking on air. ?I never thought I could feel so free. ?
? With two ice cream cones and a really gay sweater.? Who could it be?? Believe it or not it’s just me. ?
[Ed. note: Great attention to detail, Burrito. Those musical notes really sell it.]

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Caption Contest: Win a Subcription to Fighters Only! [UPDATED]

Lorenzo Fertitta Fighters Only magazine MMA
Georges St. Pierre GSP MMA UFC Fighters Only magazine
(The launch issues for the new U.S. and Canadian versions of Fighters Only, available on newsstands now.)

Heads up, Potato Nation. Fighters Only, the world’s longest-running MMA and lifestyle magazine, has finally invaded North America with new editions for the U.S. and Canada. Previously only available on import, subscriptions to the U.S. and Canadian versions of the magazine are now available, and we’re giving you lucky people the chance to win one. All you have to do is come up with a clever caption for the photo after the jump [updated, 10:13 a.m. ET: We had to switch the photo; sorry for wasting your brilliance], and post it in the comments section below. The best five captions will win subscriptions to the Fighters Only edition of their choice. Feel free to enter multiple times, but be sure to get in your captions by Monday night at midnight ET. Good luck!

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Fight! Magazine Caption Contest #2: Winners!

Hey, alright! A big thanks to everybody who signed up for our forums to compete in this week’s caption contest. And special thanks to the few of you who were actually funny. Here are the five people who scored subscriptions to Fight! Magazine:

Lethal Infection: John Coffey appears to be losing his touch.

homyluv: Call me Picachu again bitch!!!!!

milo bling: only the japanese would let an inexperienced cartoon character compete in the ring. kinnikuman shouldn’t be in there either.

Kevinhfry: Moments later, Bruce Willis burst in with a Katana.

omfgdommy: DONT FORGET TO CHECK YOUR TICKETS! WE WILL BE GIVING AWAY A FRESHLY PISSED IN PAIR OF PANTIES BETWEEN THE FIRST AND SECOND ROUND!!

Lovely. If you’ve won, please shoot your real name and address to feedback@cagepotato.com. No Greg Kellying allowed.

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Fight! Magazine Caption Contest #2: Clash of the Titans

 Bob Sapp MMA Kinnikuman Kinniku Mantaro Japan
(Photo courtesy of SportsNavi via Fightlinker)

Hey, check this out: Fight! Magazine has hooked us up with five more subscriptions to give away to our readers. Except, we never give away anything around here. As always, if you want the goods you’ll have to earn it.

We probably don’t need to tell you that the above photo depicts the monumental Dynamite!! 2008 superfight between Bob Sapp and Kinnikuman. (Also known as "The Death-Rattle of Japanese MMA.") Give us some creative captions for this pic and our five favorites will win one-year subscriptions to the magazine. Easy enough, right? Well, here’s the deal…

All entries must be submitted to this thread in the CagePotato Forums. So if you haven’t created an account yet, do so now. It’s quick and easy, and you should be using our forums anyway you lazy bastards. Feel free to submit multiple entries, but get ‘em in by 2 p.m. ET on Thursday. The winners will be announced shortly afterward. Good luck!

Fight! magazine Wanderlei Silva MMA UFC

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Fight! Magazine Video Caption Contest: The Winners

No matter what Andrei Arlovski was writing down in that video, he’s probably better off taking some of your suggestions. Out of the hundreds of entries we slogged through, here are the top five, which all earn their authors subscriptions to Fight! Magazine:

Ted Nutmeg: Dear Diary,
Well, it happened again today. It seems like every time I turn around some guy is pounding a pussy that I went through two years ago.

Shagen: "Try to do something in the first 36 seconds."

CrushCo: i? F????! ??tt?? ??ty? soo?.

Lysol: "Tell Seth Petruzelli not to make plans on the 24th."

Xian67: http://img201.imageshack.us/img201/5765/notepadtransvn7.jpg

If your name has been called, please send your real names and addresses to feedback@cagepotato.com and we’ll get those subscriptions hooked right up for ya. Good times! As for the rest of you, cheer up by gawking at the lovely ladies in Fight!’s Girl Search finals. That always makes us feel better.

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Fight! Magazine Video Caption Contest: Note to Self…


(Props: thepitbullarlovski)

You may have already seen this video when it started making the rounds last week, but above is a clip of Andrei Arlovski taking notes on some of Fedor Emelianenko‘s fights in preparation for their scheduled bout next month at "Day of Reckoning." What he’s writing, of course, is never revealed. So here’s our challenge to you: Give the vid a look and tell us what the Pitbull is jotting down at the 0:50-0:56 mark. The five (5) funniest/most creative entries win one-year subscriptions to Fight! Magazine, which is pretty much the best MMA mag ever. Leave your entries in the comments section below and feel feel to enter multiple times. Contest ends Wednesday night at midnight ET; the winner will be announced on Thursday. Good luck.

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Rachelle Leah/Playboy Caption Contest: Voting Is Open

Lyoto Machida Houston Alexander UFC Lugz
Rachelle Leah Playboy UFC
(Images courtesy of this week’s caption contest.)

Voting — it’s so hot right now. In honor of next week’s election (and to prevent some of the inevitable bitching), we’re gonna go back to having you guys vote for the winners of these things. Remember, two copies of the November issue of Playboy signed by Rachelle herself are on the line, courtesy of Playboy Digital. And the nominees are…

Ted Nutmeg: In a bittersweet moment, Lyoto realized that standing next the chick in the red skirt is the closest he’ll ever come to scoring a knockout in the UFC.

PHISTAKUFFS: “Tito better be careful parking the car!”

RTS: Chick 1: “My man is a technician in bed.”
Chick 2: “Sounds great!”
Chick 1: “It’s actually quite boring.”
Chick 2: “My man is a knock out artist.”
Chick 1: “That sounds good.”
Chick 2: “He only lasts a minute, if that.”

Baba: Somewhere, Anderson and Thiago Silva are laughing in the midst of a Timberland shoot.

The king adrock: For the first time in career, Machida pressed the action.

JTho: After three grueling days and countless different models, the photographer was finally able to keep Alexander’s knees from buckling, and Machida from back pedaling out of the shot.

JoseMonkey: This photo was taken just moments after someone yelled, “Hey douchebag!”

Jordan: “Ok, next question….what the fuck are you looking at?”

Geriatric Peon: The Transvestite Realization Face

Horror Fighter: “All right, take ‘em off. It’s time to do the Condom Depot photos now.”

Cast your vote in the poll on the right side of the page. The two captions with the most votes by 8 a.m. ET on Monday win magazines. You are welcome to cast write-in votes in the comments section below, but if they aren’t shown above, they probably weren’t that funny. So please do your civic duty as a CagePotato reader, and good luck to all the nominees!

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