The 24 fighters competing at tomorrow night’s UFC Fight Night 27 — including welterweight headliners Carlos Condit and Martin Kampmann, as well as lightweight crowd-pleaser Donald Cerrone and TUF 17 winner Kelvin Gastelum — will be hitting the scales today at 4 p.m. ET / 1 p.m. PT at the Bankers Life Fieldhouse in Indianapolis, Indiana. Watch the action live in the streaming video-player after the jump; we’ll update this post with results directly afterwards.
How They Described It: In the first women’s bout to ever take place in the UFC
Octagon, bantamweight champion Ronda Rousey and challenger Liz Carmouche made history with style. Yet despite Rousey’s status as the Queen of the sport, Carmouche nearly spoiled the party when she had the champion seconds away from a submission defeat. In the end though, it was Rousey prevailing late in the first round with her trademark armbar.
Then again, as I was informed by a Vietnamese prostitute in a ritual dubbed “seven knots to heaven” during a study abroad semester in 2009, “The thrill comes from the anticipation, not the climax,” so perhaps the UFC is just stringing us along until they surprise us with Jones vs. Silva* (or in a perfect world, Martinez vs. Zimmer II) come August 17th and cause a fangasm visible from outer space is all I’m saying.
In any case, the announcement of Kampmann vs. Condit 2 was made to none other than FOXSports.com, and Kampmann seemed more than excited for the opportunity to put Condit away this time around:
He’s going to have his rematch. It’s going to be a different fight. I’m a different fighter. He’s a different fighter. We had a good scrap last time, and this time it’ll be five rounds. That’ll give me plenty of time to get the finish.
It’s somewhat shocking how much of that quote could be attributed to Bich Nguyen, the Vietnamese prostitute of which I speak, but I digress.
Confused? Well welcome to the 209, bitch. It’s a magical place where, should you find yourself fighting for a(n interim) title in MMA’s highest promotion, you will receive such sound corner advice as “That’s the kind of asshole shit he’s got,” “Fuckin’ dick,” and “Condit, you pussy!” But mainly, your teammates/coaches will be relegated to complaining about how slippery your opponent is. Not slippery in the figurative sense — we mean, like, that pussy just got out the pool or some shit. And don’t even get them started on what’ll happen if this fight goes the judges, who are all probably betting against you anyway. But seriously, they put waaay too much water on that motherfucker, man.
We could watch this all day, but we first feel compelled to ask: Nate Diaz vs. Frito in an academic decathalon — who takes it?
(A loaded bowl, nunchucks, and a ball on a string. In Stockton, this is how you go gently into that good night.)
I just can’t anymore with Nick Diaz, you guys. I just can’t.
Earlier today, Diaz’s (likely overpaid) attorney, Jonathan Tweedale, told MMAMania the following:
Right now Nick is retired, unless he gets rematch with Georges St. Pierre or the big Anderson Silva fight. Apparently, if he doesn’t get those, he’s going to remain retired.
As a longtime fan of Diaz (his fighting style, at least), this “news” did not come as a shock to me, but was disappointing to hear nonetheless. Not because it means we won’t be seeing Diaz in the octagon anytime soon, but because this “I won’t play unless you pass me the ball,” retirement-as-a-bargaining-tool mentality represents the straw that has finally broke this camel’s back.
(Money. Girls. Fame. Private locker rooms that you don’t have to share with old men washing their balls. A win for Ilir on Saturday would be truly life-changing. / Photo via LoveStrandell)
First-time UFC jitters are bad enough when you’re curtain-jerking on the prelims. Can you imagine what it would be like to go from relative obscurity to UFC headliner? Well, Ilir Latifi is about to find out this Saturday, God bless him. Come to think of it, his UFC on FUEL 9 opponent Gegard Mousasi is technically in the same situation, although at least the Dreamcatcher has had the benefit of previously competing in major promotions like Strikeforce, DREAM, and PRIDE.
Latifi is a long shot in every sense of the word, but of course this is a sport where anything can happen. Plenty of fighters have found themselves at the top of the lineup for their first UFC fight and made the most of it. Others have crashed and burned in horrific fashion. So which camps will Latifi and Mousasi fall into? Read on for a brief history lesson, and let us know what you think…
- Alistair Overeem. Watching the Reem tear Brock Lesnar apart at UFC 141 validated everyone who ever thought that Lesnar was a pro-wrestling fraud, and that Overeem was the future of the heavyweight division. It hasn’t exactly workedout like that, but at the time, it looked like we were entering a new era.
GSP. Diaz. The Bell Centre in Montreal. That’s right, Potato Nation, it’s finally time for UFC 158. If I need to say literally anything else to get you excited about this card, there is no hope for you at this point. Please show yourself out quietly, and no, we don’t care how exciting you think spring league baseball nonsense is.
But Georges St. Pierre vs. Nick Diaz isn’t the only great welterweight fight we have to look forward to tonight. Elsewhere on the card, Johny Hendricks battles Carlos Condit, and Jake Ellenberger welcomes Nate Marquardt back to the big leagues. Plus: A middleweight tilt between Nick Ring and Chris Camozzi, as well as a lightweight bout between TUF finalists Mike Ricci and Colin Fletcher, if you’re into that sort of thing.
Handling tonight’s liveblog will be none other than Aaron Mandel, who will diligently record every punch, kick, and Stockton Heybuddy thrown in the cage after the jump, beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and toss your own observations into the comments section. Let’s do it…
The UFC 158 weigh-ins have just finished wrapping up from the Bell Centre in Montreal, Quebec, Canada. And since we’ve…you know, recently been inspired to cut through the bullshit for once in our lives, we’ll skip the bullshit introduction or whatever and get right to the bullshitty video and pampered, bullshit results, which await you after the jump. WHERE YOU AT, GEORGES?!
(Talk about mental warfare, Diaz has gotten so far inside GSP’s head that the champ has apparently forgotten how to hold his hands during a staredown. Look at him, he looks like he’s trying to restrain his excitement while watching a cheerleading competition.)
The Nick Diaz crazy train continues to roll on, Potato Nation, and was on full display during today’s UFC 158: St. Pierre vs. Diaz pre-fight presser. First, when addressing why he had missed the open workouts — something Nick originally attributed to the UFC’s…I don’t know, flight scheduling? — Diaz claimed that he needed his sleep and that “it was either I miss yesterday’s open workout or I miss this.” Then, when questioned on whether or not he would pass his drug test this time around, Diaz dropped this gem:
I think [at UFC 143] I tested for a metabolite or a nanogram, it was hardly [a trace] so I just did a little more than I did last time so, sorry if I don’t pass the test, but I think it should work out. I’ve passed plenty of them before, unless they just weren’t testing me. I wonder how much they test people around here (glancing at St. Pierre).