"celebrity"

Props: Five Ounces of Pain

It's great when former pro athletes and celebrities (or in this case, pseudo-celebrities) think that they can fight just as long as their opponent is another celebrity. Baseball's public enemy number one, Jose Canseco, found out the hard way over the weekend that it doesn't always work that way.

You have to love the commentary from Stephen A. Smith here, who seems just a little biased in his take on the match. His description of Canseco as a rat and of former Philadelphia Eagles player Vai Sikahema as a man who "knows what he's doing with those fists of his" (hurling them at Canseco's head?) is pretty great.

It was recently reported that the seventh season of NBC's The Apprentice will be a "Celebrity Edition," with the confirmed "celebrities" including Stephen Baldwin, Vincent "Big Pussy" Pastore, CNBC's Jim Cramer, and none other than THE HUNTINGTON BEACH *BAD* BOY, TITOOOOO ORTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIZ!!!!!(??)!!

Seriously, click here, sit through a 15-second Pantene commercial, and behold as Tito is caught by TMZ.com's cameras slinging hot dogs as part of an Apprentice challenge alongside Baldwin, Gene Simmons, Lennox Lewis, and a guy that looks a lot like Mystery from VH1's The Pick-Up Artist, but who I'm told is probably country music star Trace Adkins. (Tito's the one with the "Bad Boy For Life" t-shirt and enormous head.)

Sure, this may open the HBBB up to all kinds of ridicule by MMA fans, but it could be a great way for Ortiz to transition into the multiple income streams provided by reality TV stardom, employment in the Trump Organization, or hot dog selling. After all, the dude's gotta retire from fighting someday — what's he going to do, mooch off his best-selling author girlfriend forever?