(You have no idea how right you are.) 

What in the name of Science is this bullshit? Fresh off a victory over Marcus LeVesseur at UFC on FUEL 3, it has been announced that the inventor of the deadliest guillotine choke known to man, TUF 12 veteran Cody McKenzie, will be making his featherweight debut at UFC 148, which transpires from the MGM Grand Garden Casino in Las Vegas on July 7th. Welcoming him to 145 lbs will be…Chad Mendes? Didn’t he just fight JOSE F’ING ALDO FOR THE F’ING TITLE?! Did McKenzie piss off Dana White, or is this Karma’s way of punishing him for making Josh Koscheck look like even more of a clown on the set of TUF 10? If it’s the latter, then Karma is a dick. A high school Letterman jacket wearing, clove cigarette smoking, man ass motorboating dick.

As we all know, McKenzie has won 11 of his 13 professional victories by way of his signature vice-grip like submission, aptly dubbed “The McKenzietine,” which has earned him a spot amongst the greatest one-trick ponies of all time. Mendes, on the other hand, has never been submitted, and is coming off the first blemish of his career, which came via brutal first round knockout to Aldo. Why it was decided that these two should face off is nothing short of baffling.

Behold: a shining example of “kick face“. (Photo: UFC.com)

Brazilian fans are credited with being the most raucous audience in the world, and last night’s fighters gave them plenty to cheer about. Six of the nine bouts ended via knock out or submission*, with five of those stoppages coming in the first round.

Chokes, knees, and even a spinning wheel kick punctuated last night’s fights (*as did a controversial referee stoppage). Pop on in for a motion picture tribute to UFC 142.

As always, praise be to Zombie Prophet.

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The People’s Champion, showing Chael Sonnen how it’s done. Props: @CopperHeartCT

With the UFC’s quick return to Rio de Janeiro, the promotion had high expectations to live up to. Their last visit saw a nearly perfect performance from one of the sport’s most dominant champions, a local favorite earning a quick finish, and (most) Brazilian fighters outmatching their foreign opponents on their ways to victory. It was going to be difficult to entertain the local fans the same way that UFC 134 did, yet the UFC’s return to Brazil netted nearly identical results.

Heading into his title defense against Chad Mendes last night, critics were starting to say that Jose Aldo was beginning to coast his way through fights. That the fight finisher fans grew to love in the WEC had been replaced by a fighter content to go through the motions en route to a decision victory. In front of his home country, Aldo made an impressive statement by finishing “Money” Mendes in the first round.

Mendes displayed improved striking, but that means little when facing the lethal limbs of Jose Aldo. To win this fight–or even stay competitive–Mendes needed to put the champion on his back, yet time and time again his best efforts were thwarted. Though Aldo blatantly grabbed the fence to prevent one takedown, a follow-up attempt from the same position seconds later barely took his feet off the ground. Had he been deducted one point- or ten- it’s hard to imagine the fight going any other way. The brilliant takedown defense and impeccable timing he showed throughout the bout were on full display in the closing seconds of round one. Aldo’s transition to the fight ending knee was nothing short of perfection, something only a dominant striker of his caliber could dream of pulling off.

“I’m not even kidding you, man! It must have been four feet of linguiça. And ‘Humble’ ate the whole thing, just now backstage!” (Photo: UFC.com)

It’s 1 AM in Rio De Janeiro and and the locals have turned out in droves to cheer on their countrymen and wish death upon foreigners. It may not be very sporting of them, but we’ve pretty much thrown professionalism out the window this weekend.

Is Mendes the right Alpha Male to topple Aldo in his own backyard? Does Belfort have enough power to put away one of the UFC’s top heavyweights? And will Palhares’s overwhelming desire to tear limbs apart overcome his instinct to stop fighting in the middle of a bout?

Come join me, Chris Colemon, inside for the answers to these questions and more.

(UFC featherweight champion Jose Aldo pictured with his summer intern, Chad.)

UPDATE: Yes, Anthony Johnson came in at 197 pounds. Gory details after the jump.

Weigh-ins for tomorrow night’s UFC 142: Aldo vs. Mendes event are scheduled to begin today at 4 p.m. ET / 1 p.m. PT in Rio. You can watch the action right here on CagePotato.com, in either of the video players after the jump. We’ll also be posting the full weigh-in results after all 20 fighters have hit the scale. Will there be any disrespectful hat-smacking this time? How terrifying will Anthony Johnson look as a middleweight light-heavyweight? And will the huge broad on the right be replacing Chandella permanently? Stay tuned…

UFC 142 goes down this Saturday from the HSBC Arena in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, and though it doesn’t feature quite as epic a lineup as the UFC’s return to Brazil at UFC 134, the fact that the card has still maintained its two marquee match-ups is something to brag about, if only due to how cursed a card this has been. So if you, like Siyar Bahadurzada, Paulo Thiago, Stanislav Nedkov, and Fabio Maldanado, find yourself watching the action from the sidelines on Saturday night and suddenly in need of some extra dough, then we are here to help. Check out the betting lines below, courtesy of BestFightOdds, and join us after the jump for some sound betting advice.

Main Card
Erick Silva (-525) vs. Carlo Prater (+415)
Edson Barboza (-270) vs. Terry Etim (+230)
Rousimar Palhares (-525) vs. Mike Massenzio (+415)
Anthony Johnson (-110) vs. Vitor Belfort (-110)
Jose Aldo (-240) vs. Chad Mendes (+200)

Preliminary Card
Antonio Carvalho (-225) vs. Felipe Arantes (+175)
Mike Pyle (-460) vs. Ricardo Funch (+340)
Yuri Alcantara (-195) vs. Michihiro Omigawa (+160)
Sam Stout (EV) vs. Thiago Tavares (-140)
Gabriel Gonzaga (-120) vs. Edinaldo Oliveira (-110)

(Video courtesy of Sapo/IFI)

If you missed the premiere of the UFC 142 countdown show yesterday, not to worry brohams. We got you covered.

In perhaps the most interesting segment on the show, we get to know undefeated Team Alpha Male featherweight Chad Mendes, who is set to challenge Jose Aldo on Saturday. “Money” has a decent shot at taking the belt from Aldo. Mendes’ doppelganger Urijah Faber has nothing but good things to say about his teammate and points out that he can roll with anybody and submit BJJ black belts and that “no one can match his wrestling.”

(Video via YouTube.com/UFC)

Just five months after their last visit to the HSBC Arena in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, the UFC returns with another card headlined by native heroes. In UFC 142‘s main event, featherweight champion Jose Aldo — who has now won ten straight fights in the WEC/UFC — looks to make another belt defense against undefeated Team Alpha Male wrestling specialist Chad “Money” Mendes, who will be hoping to put Aldo on his back as much as possible and score some revenge for Urijah Faber’s leg.

In the co-main event, middleweight contender Vitor Belfort returns from his latest injury layoff to welcome Anthony Johnson to the middleweight division, in a matchup that contains too much explosive athleticism for its own damn good.

All 11 fights on the “Aldo vs. Mendes” card feature at least one Brazilian, with Rousimar Palhares, Edson Barboza, and Gabriel Gonzaga making return appearances. The full UFC 142 lineup is after the jump…

(Photo courtesy of Combate.TV)

It looks like Gray Maynard will be eating Brazilian kicks and punches for Christmas in the delicacy’s native land.

The former number one UFC lightweight contender will be in Rio de Janeiro for the next few weeks to help UFC featherweight kingpin Jose Aldo prepare for his January 14 UFC 142 bout with Chad Mendes. Aldo invited “The Bully” to Brazil as his style is very similar to Mendes’. Gray arrived on Wednesday and will stick around until after the event in three weeks.

(This is where we’d normally make some sort of Geico Caveman reference, but those jokes, like the commercials, have been played out to the point of eye-gouging redundancy. So, uh…beauty and the beast?) 

Though they may not get your engine revving, a couple of sure-to-be-undercard bouts have been booked for the UFC’s debut on FUEL TV, the first of which being a featherweight match-up between grappling wizards Jonathan Brookins and Rani Yahya. After lateral dropping his way through season 12 of The Ultimate Fighter, Brookins recently saw a four fight win streak snapped at the hands of featherweight contender Eric Koch in a three rounder reminiscent of Couture vs. Vera that saw Brookins unable to get Koch to the mat.

Yahya, on the other hand, is likely fighting for his future in the UFC. Just 1-3 in his past four, with the lone win coming against a struggling (and last minute replacement) Mike Brown, we last saw Yahya on the losing end of a unanimous decision to Jose Aldo‘s next challenger, Chad Mendes. Prior to the Brown win, Yahya was outclassed by Takeya Mizugaki in another decision at WEC 48 and TKO’ed by future flyweight champ Joseph Benavidez at WEC 45.

(Tim who?)

UFC matchmaker Joe Silva has chosen a somewhat curious opponent for Yushin Okami for his next fight, considering that the only losses he’s had in the past three years came against arguably the number one and number two middleweights in the world.

The promotion announced today that Okami will lock horns with Tim Boetsch when the Octagon returns to “The Land of the Rising Sun” for UFC 144 on February 26.

(Aldo will make his third UFC title defense at home in Brazil.)

Jose Aldo will be in for a stiff test when he puts his UFC featherweight crown on the line against undefeated 11-0 wrestling standout Chad Mendes on January 14 at UFC 142 in a yet-to-be-announced locale in Brazil.

“Pound-for-pound superstar Jose Aldo will return home to fight in Brazil for the first time since 2007 when he defends his UFC featherweight title against unbeaten powerhouse Chad Mendes,” UFC president Dana White revealed to FoxSports.com this morning. “Aldo hasn’t lost in over five years, but Mendes has yet to lose in MMA, and after clearing out all the contenders put in his way, he believes he has what it takes to beat the champion.”

ATTENTION PAUL BUENTELLO: Please do this at Bellator 48.  PLEASE.

“The only great failure in life is the failure to try.” -Some old wise man, probably with a large beard

Fail is sort of like porn. You can’t really define it properly, but you know it when you see it. And brother, we’ve seen some fail watching our favorite sport. It can happen anytime, from walking out to the ring, to celebrating your victory (see above), and anytime between. We here at CagePotato hold MMA and fighters in our highest regard … but we still like to point and laugh every once in a while. Allow us to present to you our first (in what we assume will be many) installment of MMA Fails.

Special thanks go out to anyone and everyone who ever GIF’d a video, including the fine people at UpstandingCitizens, MMA-Core, IronForgesIron, and MMATKO.  Props.

Now let’s get it on!

This should not be Florian’s stiffest test before Aldo. Just saying. PicProps: Examiner.com

Dana White has all but made official the next featherweight championship fight, saying that Kenny Florian “pretty much” is next in line for Jose Aldo, and we’ve kind of grumbled about it. It’s not the we don’t like Ken-Flo — we do — but we’re not entirely sold on Florian as the number one contender in the featherweight division.

Being brand new to the weight class, most reasonable people would expect Florian to get two or three good wins before they throw him in against the Brazilian destroyer of legs and faces. It’s not like we’re asking him to go on an eight fight win streak before he gets a title shot, just spend more than fifteen minutes in the weight class.

Being the kind and helpful people we are, we decided to share our own ideas about who Florian could fight next to strengthen his case for a shot at the belt. If Florian wins, then by all means slate him for the Aldo fight. If he loses, he probably wasn’t ready anyway, right?

(Photographic proof of how the UFC contributed to  Aldo’s injury. That’s a slam dunk insurance claim right there.)

With the UFC featherweight title picture out of focus until champ Jose Aldo heals from a nagging shoulder injury, a question that was recently brought up was what happens if Diego Nunes beats Kenny Florian Saturday night at UFC 131? Surely, he won’t fight a teammate, since that’s a faux pas in Brazil, right?

Think again.

According to Aldo’s longtime trainer and Nova Uniao founder Andre Pederneiras, “Everyone from Nova Uniao knows that if they have to fight against each other, they will.”

(Video courtesy of YouTube/EskriMMA)

Shooto featherweight champion Hatsu Hioki announced today that he has relinquished his belt and that he is moving on from the Japanese promotion in search of other challenges.

“At this time, I’ve returned the Shooto world lightweight title,” Hioki told Sherdog.com via email. “There is a pride in wearing the Shooto world title, but I think that, in the near future, I would like to challenge a new stage of pride.”

According to Sherdog, the popular 24-4-2 fighter, who holds a pair of wins over UFC featherweight contender Mark Hominick as well as one a piece over Takeshi “Lion” Inoue and Marlon Sandro, is being flown in to Vancouver, BC to attend UFC 131. I think we can all connect the dots on where he’s fighting next.

(“Get a load of this guy. He calls himself ‘Money.’”)

The UFC moved swiftly to find a replacement opponent for number one UFC featherweight contender Chad Mendes when 145-pound champ Jose Aldo bowed out of a planned late summer match-up with the 26-year-old Hanford, California native earlier in the week. According to MMAJunkie, the promotion has inked Rani Yahya to face Mendes at UFC 133 August 6 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

(That’s what happens when you spar every day with Steven Seagal.)

Heavy.com is reporting that UFC featherweight champion Jose Aldo has sustained an unspecified injury that will likely push back a planned late summer title defense against Chad Mendes.

According to the story, which sites several unnamed sources who predict the minor setback wil keep Aldo out until about September, Mendes will likely take a fight in the interim. Although no potential opponents have been named at this point, one fighter who would likely be up to facing Mendes is Mark Hominick, who logged a gutsy five-round war with Aldo in April at UFC 129 in Toronto.

(Mendes thinks he can expose Aldo on the ground using his wrestling prowess)

Number one UFC featherweight contender Chad Mendes watched Jose Aldo grind out a decision win over Mark Hominick live at the Rogers Centre in Toronto and walked away from the event with the confidence that he can beat the previously thought invincible UFC featherweight champion.

Mendes told ESPN’s Brett Okamoto yesterday that he isn’t buying the excuse that the Aldo was sick going into the bout or that the strain of cutting weight after adding muscle the past several months left him in a weakened state strength and conditioning-wise.

(If featherweight doesn’t work out, Stevenson will likely test the waters of the Strikeforce women’s 135-pound class)

Well, Joe “Daddy” Stevenson will be spared from the UFC’s chopping block for at least one more fight. The Ultimate Fighter 2 winner who dropped to lightweight in 2006 will face Javier Vasquez at UFC on Versus 4 June 26 in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

The UFC confirmed today that the rumored bout is a go.

(“Admit it, you guys have no idea who I am, do you?” Pic: Heavy)

Still so relatively new to the UFC party, the sub-lightweight divisions are to MMA analysts as the New World must have been to early cartographers. We think we have a rough sketch of what’s out there, but the exact shape of things is a little foggy and once we get past the top two or three, we’re just gonna draw some squiggles and write something like “Here there be sea monsters!”

The featherweight class, for example, is still very much in the process finding its legs in the Octagon, with the promotional debut of champion Jose Aldo pushed back to UFC 129 due to the pain in his neck. Already however, there has been a pretty significant influx of talent into the 145-pound ranks since the UFC officially absorbed it at the beginning of this year. Michihiro Omigawa, Kenny Florian and Tyson Griffin have all plunged into the division, with more immigration sure to follow as the 155-pound division gets more and more crowded. We guess what we’re saying is, things can change fast in the land of the little man, so read our inaugural featherweight rankings now before something happens to render them moot.

The greatest moment from last night’s co-headliner between Chad Mendes and Javier Vasquez at WEC 52. Props: DamnSevern

(Faber vs. Mizugaki; fight starts at the 6:59 mark, and the nasty finishing sequence begins at 10:49. Props: borntoride5656. Get a look before it’s pulled…)

In the first phase of its two-part farewell tour, the WEC transcended its lame-duck status with yet another thrilling card last night in Las Vegas. Urijah Faber left no doubt in fans’ minds that he’ll be a force at bantamweight, needing less than one round to take out Takeya Mizugaki in the main event. After a few exchanges contested on the feet and in the clinch, Faber snatched a guillotine, then brilliantly transitioned to Mizugaki’s back to secure a rear-naked choke. Mizugaki gamely tried to defend, but eventually passed out rather than tapping; he was asleep for a solid 10 seconds before referee Josh Rosenthal recognized what was up. The victory earned Faber a $10,000 Submission of the Night bonus, which he vowed to split with his teammate Joseph Benavidez. 

Following his dominant showing, it appears likely that Faber will get the next bantamweight title shot against the winner of Dominick Cruz vs. Scott Jorgensen at WEC 53. When asked about that matchup following the event, Faber said “[Scott and I] have a good relationship. He’s a guy I helped get into the sport a little bit. We’ve trained a bunch together. He’s mentally tough. I’d rather fight Dominick, but I’m rooting for Scott [to win that fight].”

As for his new home at 135, Faber was psyched: "When I first started fighting there was no 135-pound weight class. So it’s not like I had the choice. I was just the best guy at 145. So now it’s my time to shine down here. I’m at my most competitive weight. It’s my time. It’s a new era baby!"