(Good. Now that Chael knows what it feels like to make contact with Jon Jones, let’s get this execution over with. / Photo via MMAJunkie)

There’s not much to say about Jon Jones vs. Chael Sonnen at this point, other than the fact that Jones will be tying Tito Ortiz’s record for light-heavyweight title defenses (5) tonight, and Danga has already written Chael’s retirement rap. Luckily, UFC 159 features some legitimate fights as well, from Jim Miller meeting his taller, skinner doppelganger, to Roy Nelson meeting his polar opposite. Plus: Michael Bisping faces off against some retard from Mississippi (his words, not ours!), and Vinny Magalhaes tangles with Phil Davis.

Handling liveblog duties for this evening is Alex Giardini, who will be delivering round-by-round results from the “Jones vs. Sonnen” main card after the jump beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and let us know what’s on your mind in the comments section.

(Photo by Esther Lin | FCFighter.com)

For as long as he’s been short, chubby and kicking ass in the heavyweight division (approximately, since forever since), fans, pundits and Daniel Cormier himself have openly discussed the possibility of his dropping down a weight class to light heavyweight. DC is fresh off a dominating win over yet another former UFC heavyweight champion in Frank Mir at the UFC on Fox 7 event but the organization’s President, Dana White, says that he’d rather see the two-time Olympian at light heavyweight.

And, oh yeah, if Cormier does decide to cut back on the deep-fried burritos a tad and drop down to 205 pounds, White says that his first fight in the division could very well be for the belt. So, you know, against Chael Sonnen.

“He could drop to 205 and get a shot at the title in my opinion, on day one,” White told a group of assembled media earlier this week in New York. “Look at the guys he’s beat at heavyweight.”

Cormier has recently weighed in for fights in the 230′s. Aside from the fact that he’s got the height of a lightweight, 230 pounds is actually light in the strange, modern world of gigantic super athletes that we live in.

Frank Mir looked like he could have been Cormier’s daddy when they took the center of the cage last week. That is, until Cormier got his hands on his much larger opponent and made him look like a heavily tattooed read-headed step child.

There’s the rub. Cormier has a tiny frame for heavyweight but he so far has found no one that can touch him, including Mir, fellow former UFC heavyweight champion Josh Barnett and current number one contender Antonio Silva.

So, why should the wrestler-turned-fighter try and fix something that ain’t broke? Also, it is well-documented that Cormier missed out on actually wrestling at the 2004 Olympic games despite being the U.S. team’s captain and being favored to medal, because he nearly killed himself trying to cut weight.

The “Wake up and Grind” warrior is doing well at heavyweight, so why should he risk his life cutting down? Thing is, there’s no real reason to believe he’d have to risk his health to cut down to light heavyweight.

(“Each of us has the same quantity of the most precious commodity in the world… time. Except for you, Jon Jones, you’ve only got a few more hours left on the ticker than Daniel Cormier’s nutritionist.” I’m Pic Props: BleacherReport.com/MMA)

By Jason Moles

Since August 2012, Chael P. Sonnen has been pining for a fight with Jon Jones. In that time, Sonnen named a pizza after the UFC light heavyweight champion, wrote him a poem, and rendered masterful performances of his soliloquies at every turn along the way.

Considering we live in a tech-crazed world, it’s no surprise that the beef between the two UFC standouts spilled over into social media. Because Twitter was invented with MMA in mind, it was the perfect place for this feud to play out, with hundreds of thousands of fans hanging on every word. It is there that the “bad guy” ratcheted up the intensity of his verbal assault on Jones, moving from his running commentary on the young champ’s latest headlines to putting “Bones’” title reign on the clock. Here’s what the countdown looks like, via @SonnenCH:

30 – the days left until the fall of your champion and the rise of the DARKSIDE #UFC159 #4/27/13

29 – the year AD in which King Dionysius died and was succeed by Spartacus. 29 days and I too take what is rightfully mine #UFC159 #4/27/13

(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

Now that we’ve told you what to think about tomorrow night’s fights, it’s time to watch the competitors hit the scale, and laugh at them if anybody misses weight. Will Michael Bisping angrily point at Alan Belcher while swearing at him? (Yes.) Will Chael Sonnen leave Bones hanging again? (Probably not.) Does Sara McMann need a Band-Aid? (Wait for it.) Because her abs are friggin’ cut. (BOOM.) Watch the UFC 159 weigh-in action in the player above starting at 4 p.m. ET / 1 p.m. PT, and take a peek after the jump for full results, which will be updated immediately afterwards.

(“How ’bout we say ‘triangle choke, round 2.’ I’ve got a t-shirt riding on this.” / Photo via MMAFighting.com)

With UFC 159 slated for tomorrow night, CagePotato founding editor Ben Goldstein and beloved CP staff writer Jared Jones have teamed up to argue about all the important themes surrounding the event. So how will the absurd light-heavyweight title fight end, exactly? What will happen if Alan Belcher actually lets Michael Bisping take a free shot to his face? Can the third women’s UFC fight possibly live up to the first two? How many more fights can Leonard Garcia lose before the UFC gives him the ol’ heave-ho? Read on, and throw down your own opinions in the comments section.

Will Jon Jones immediately demolish Chael Sonnen, or will he play around with Chael a little before demolishing him? And will Chael retire after the loss?

BG: I rarely make sweeping statements about who will win an MMA fight because 1) anything can happen in this crazy sport, and 2) the things you write on the Internet often come back to haunt you. But yes, Jon Jones will win this fight. I absolutely guarantee it. Sonnen’s best weapon — his relentless wrestling attack — will dash apart against Jones’s own wrestling, which is precision-tuned for the sport of MMA. Quickly out of options, Chael will throw his patented “I give up” spinning backfist, fall down against the cage, and will whisper a quick prayer to his God before Jones literally eats him and shits him out. And I do mean literally, okay? Literally.

I’m leaning towards a quick beat-down in this fight rather than an extended clowning, because Jones takes his job too seriously to “play around” with an opponent. (He’s not exactly Mr. Fun, we’ve noticed.) And once Chael feels the power of a large light-heavyweight, he’ll realize what a bad idea this whole thing was in the first place. To exit the sport directly after another humiliation wouldn’t fit in with Sonnen’s blustery self-image, so I think he’ll take at least one more fight — maybe at middleweight, maybe at light-heavyweight — before calling it quits. Once he starts losing to non-champions, he’ll wisely make the switch to full-time UFC talking head and occasional hair-texture tester.

JJ: Mark my words, this fight will be Jon Jones’s UFC 97 (or UFC 112, depending on which fight you thought was worse). Jones may not be a fun-loving guy, as you stated, but it also appears that the tryptophan-induced honeymoon between these two TUF coaches has passed, leaving behind only apathy in its wake. If you’ve noticed in the past, the foes “Bones knows” on a personal level seem to last the longest in the cage with him (Rampage, Rashad) — perhaps out of respect, perhaps because they are both tough as hell — so I think we should start preparing ourselves for a tepid, five-round affair highlighted by Bones’s jab and Sonnen’s desperate attempts to convert a single leg.

And when all is said and done, Sonnen will snatch the mic out of Joe Rogan’s hand, and in an attempt to mimic [enter professional wrestler name here]’s infamous retirement speech, will announce that, and I quote:

(Props: mmadigest)

Proving that you don’t need dramatic music or clever editing to make a killer highlight reel, here’s a must-see compilation of Ronda Rousey judo-tossing the bejeezus out of Miesha Tate, Nick Diaz, Uriah Hall, Aaron Tru, Bas Rutten and a laundry list of opponents and training partners. And now that you’ve seen that, follow us downward for three more of the day’s best sort-of-MMA-related videos…

(Props: AXE)

Chael Sonnen‘s girlfriend is very attractive. Here’s how he landed her, with some sage advice at the end for all you young single fellas out there.

(We’d start getting *real* used to that desk if we were you, Chael.)

By Dan “Get Off Me” George

It’s finally happening, Potato Nation. Jon Jones vs. Chael Sonnen a.k.a “the fight fans have been asking for” is set to go down this Saturday from the Prudential Center in Newark, New Jersey. Although many fans have focused on the chemistry (or lack thereof) between Chael and Jon as reason enough to pass on this pay-per-view event, UFC 159 will be offering a solid card of competitive fights which on paper may make it a sleeper that you won’t want to miss.

So join us as we continue to contribute to the Save Danga’s Legs Fund (he’s almost better, but he likes the nurse visits) by highlighting where to place your money on a few undercard and all of the main card bouts. All betting lines courtesy of BestFightOdds.

Undercard bouts:

Steven Siler (-120) vs. Kurt Holobaugh (+100)

Steven Siler comes in at around -130 for his fifth UFC appearance and will improve his Octagon record to 4-1 should he emerge victorious against the debuting Strikeforce veteran in Holobaugh. In his last outing, Siler was tarred and feathered by Darren Elkins‘ wrestling and was unable to take control of the fight for any sustained period of time. As an underdog who has only tasted defeat once in his career (a decision loss to Pat Healy), Holobaugh at even money or better is a solid choice. Kurt fights like a veteran and showed he can hang with some of the best in the world while dominating anything less than that caliber. Coming out of the Gracie Barra gym, Holobaugh will be too tough for Siler to submit and will put Super’s stand up game to the test with his own excellent striking. Holobaugh for the slight upset win.

(Despite what your grandmother thinks, Twitter is not a euphemism and does not warrant a squirt of Dawn in your mouth.)

By Jason Moles

Back in 2010, the brain trust at CagePotato HQ compiled a list of the 25 most essential MMA Twitter feeds to follow. Boy, do we sure know how to pick ‘em. Miguel Torres, Kimbo Slice, Mayhem Miller, Reed Harris, Shane Carwin, and Strikeforce have all since faded out of relevance or gone off the deep end. Wait, Reed does what now? Are you sure? Nevermind — we’re back with an updated list of who you should really be following on Twitter, and this time we’ve actually put some thought into it instead of blindly tossing darts at our screen while simultaneously using a Shakeweight. Please note, this is 2013 and if you don’t already know you should be following Dana White, Arianny Celeste, or Ariel Helwani, you’re probably the reason Jon Jones is defending his title against Chael Sonnen this Saturday at UFC 159. Speaking of the gangster from West Linn…

twitter.com/sonnench

Bio: “Godfather of integrity; dual masters in dominance and modesty; once outboxed Hemingway; & author of this year’s bestseller, available NOW on Amazon”

If you thought Sonnen refused to break kayfabe only when the cameras were rolling, you must not have been paying attention because his gimmick is boundless. The People’s Champion maximizes his 140-character limit with every emasculating jab at his opponents, peers, and detractors in the MMA media. The American Gangster is the only man on Twitter to follow absolutely no one, not even his own mother.

Sample Tweet: “15 – the number of letters in the word hydropneumatics as well as Chael beats Jones. #UFC159 #4/27/13″

(And just like that, the inspiration for Mean Street Hair Care & Boutique was born.) 

For a dead man walking, Chael Sonnen sure seems to be enjoying the hell out of his final days on death row. The UFC’s favorite hypeman appeared on ESPN’s flagship program, Sportscenter, just hours ago to plug his upcoming public execution at UFC 159 and appeared to be channeling the great Bobby Knight during his brief interview, leaving Sportscenter anchor (and all around fox) Sage Steele grasping at straws in attempt to steer things in any other direction but that of a complete farce. She tried, dammit.

The segment began in typical Sonnen-fashion – interrupting/patronizing the interviewer, throwing a couple WWE-esque threats at Jones, arms, charms, rinse, repeat — but quickly took a turn for what people in the television industry refer to as “What-the-fucks-ville” after Sonnen promised to put Bones “on his ass” on live television. Sure, it was a pretty mild offense given the current spectrum of television, but the remark incurred the subtle wrath of Steele nonetheless. But if there’s one thing Chael P. Sonnen doesn’t understand, it’s subtlety. And being that Chael is mere days away from being beaten into a coma at best, he figured he might as well check off one last item from his bucket list: feeling an African American woman’s hair. It was a weird moment for everyone involved.

Video after the jump. 

(Props: fueltv via MMAConvert)

Going head-to-head against UFC promo king Chael Sonnen would be a tall order for anybody — but you’d think that Jon Jones would at least try to make it competitive. In case you missed it, here’s Jon and Chael’s interview segment from the TUF 17 Finale broadcast, in which Jones acts like a 15-year-old whose weed stash was just discovered by his stepdad. The first words out of Jones’s mouth are a slurred jumble of Ortizian proportions. He can’t stop swinging his arms. He won’t make direct eye contact. He refuses to address Sonnen — who continues his carnival-barking, undeterred — even though this segment was specifically arranged to generate interest in their UFC 159 fight in two weeks. As David Letterman might say, “Jon, I’m sorry you couldn’t be here tonight.”

This clip unfortunately leaves off the very end, in which Jones sulks off stage left at his first opportunity, while Sonnen remains standing next to Jon Anik; Jones may still be the light-heavyweight ruler of the Octagon, but Sonnen has rightfully claimed his territory in front of the camera. We’ll give Jon the benefit of the doubt and say he was trying to come off as intensely focused, instead of bored, or pissed off, or half-drunk. Either way, it was a missed opportunity to spark some more fan-interest in a fight that is completely uninteresting from a competitive standpoint. That’s no way to get some fans, bro.