(Props: tj.labs)

We’ve reached the mid-way point in our fighter t-shirt design contest, and the submissions are rolling in nicely; many thanks to everybody who sent in designs. To re-ignite your competitive fires, we’ve posted some of our current favorites, which continue after the jump. Please send your entries to feedback@cagepotato.com by Sunday, 5/30, at midnight ET. Voting on the finalists will begin the next day, and the top vote-getter will score that FLO TV Personal Television, with access to the pay-per-view broadcast of UFC 115. So get crackin’…

(Props: Brian R.)

(Props: Stevicus. Click here for larger version.)

 
(Sonnen vows to "bring taxes down, and lay on top of them until my term ends.")

While some fighters can’t even be bothered to show up for practice more than four times in a given week, Chael Sonnen is trying to secure a spot in the Oregon House of Representatives, in the same year that he’s preparing for the biggest fight of his life. On Tuesday, the UFC’s #1 middleweight contender claimed a "landslide" victory in the Republican Party primaries for Oregon’s 37th District, picking up 99.13% of the vote. We should probably mention that Sonnen ran unopposed, and the remaining 0.87% percent of the vote was made up of write-in ballots, most of which probably went to Anderson Silva. But still, Chael’s got momentum on his side. You can learn more about his platform at VoteSonnen.com, where he’s described as a "successful realtor and vice president of Caged Promotions, a sports and music promotion and production company." Sonnen’s main gig as one of MMA’s most insane heels is mentioned nowhere on the site.

(The cover of Fight!’s May 2010 issue, on newsstands now.)

Thank God as you understand Him it’s Friday, right guys? I remembered to actually look at a few of your comments this week, which means it’s time to give away one-year Fight! Magazine subscriptions to three lucky bastards. And those bastards are… 

steampunk22 on "Filho Blames Bellator for Visa Issues; Says Organization Was Scared Because They Heard He Was in Shape":
Ariel Helwani demonstrates what six weeks of the "Overeem Horsemeat Diet" can accomplish. Plaid shirts will never look the same again.

(Props: nicktheface via Fightlinker)

Will Chael Sonnen‘s over-the-top trash-talk infuriate Anderson Silva into engaging with him? Will Sonnen make good on his promise to come straight at the Spider and force him to fight? Would Dana White really cut his middleweight champion after a win? Has Sonnen signed his own death warrant, or bought a ticket to a 25-minute dance contest? All these questions will be answered on August 7th, when Silva and Sonnen meet at UFC 117 in Oakland, California. Speaking of #117, the event will reportedly host the welterweight rematch between Thiago Alves and Jon Fitch, which was originally scheduled for UFC 115 in June, but has been pushed back to give Alves more time to recover from brain surgery.

After the jump: A behind-the-scenes video of Bruce Buffer at UFC 102, which reveals Buffer’s warm-up technique and a dramatic fighter-introduction maneuver we’ll call the "Buffer Lunge"

(The Diaz brothers discuss competing with class, the delusion that MMA is a sport, and give the definitive answer on who would win in a fight between them. Wonderful stuff from Fight Magazine.)

– Manny Gamburyan vows to "do genocide" on Mike Brown tomorrow night at WEC 48. (Bleacher Report)

– Ben Henderson’s dream job? Exotic food-eater. (Cagewriter)

– BJ Penn shreds Dana White in his new book. (BloodyElbow)

– Brock Lesnar vs. Shane Carwin official for UFC 116 in July. (MMA Fighting)

– M-1 says Strikeforce is to blame for their recent negotiation delays, and Fedor is frustrated at his long layoff. (Sherdog)

– Matt Hughes vs. Ricardo Almeida in the works for August. (MMA Weekly)

– Chael Sonnen’s latest bit of anti-Silva propaganda. (Inside MMA)

– Three featherweight fights added to DREAM.14, including Joachim Hansen vs. Hiroyuki Takaya. (Nightmare of Battle)

– TUF 11 "Minority Report" member Kris McCray defends Jamie Yager and says Rich Attonito took a dive. (The Rhino Den)

– 2010 NFL Draft first-round recap. (Scores Report)

– Awesomely sexist vintage ads. (Asylum)

– The Top 29 Best Cities To Live In. (Ask Men)

– 25 Examples of Unintentional Porn. (Holy Taco)

– 8 Bands Worthy of a 3D Concert Film. (Screen Junkies)

– How to Facilitate a Threesome (Made Man)

– Ten-car smash-up at the Texas Motor Speedway. (All Left Turns)

– Jeweler defends store against thieves with samurai swords. (Nothing Toxic)

– Must-see: Variety show erupts during baseball rain-delay. (Break)

Just how bad was Anderson Silva‘s UFC 112 performance in Dana White’s eyes?  So bad that DW hasn’t even seen anything worse in all his years watching boxing.  That’s right.  Boxing, playa.  That’s why White tells ESPN‘s Jim Rome that he’s had enough of these embarrassing antics from his middleweight champ, and if he ever sees it again he will cut his ass. 

Just take a second and let that sink in.  Imagine Silva going and doing to Chael Sonnen (who, White confirms, he will face next) what he did to Demian Maia.  Imagine him jumping around the cage in between fits of face-smashing, shouting things at Sonnen in Portuguese and imitating Chuck Norris’ fighting style.  Then imagine him waking up the next morning, still the UFC 185-pound champ, but suddenly a free agent.

If that’s the situation that goes down, whose interests will have been served?

(Our last hope? Photo courtesy of Fight! Magazine.)

By CagePotato contributor Matt Kaplan

Chael Sonnen is many things: top UFC middleweight contender, hopeful Oregon state rep, realtor, quote generator. An Anderson Silva fan, though, he is not. After thrashing Nate Marquardt at UFC 109, Sonnen is next in line to take on what he sees as an “insignificant” champion in Silva, who, despite his best efforts, “couldn’t” finish Demian Maia at UFC 112. Ladies and gentlemen, Chael Sonnen…

CAGEPOTATO.COM: Were you at all rubbed the wrong way by Anderson Silva’s fight against Demian Maia at UFC 112?
CHAEL SONNEN: No, I did my level best to watch the fight, but just couldn’t get through it.

Dana White was effusively apologetic after the fight. Do you think Silva owes anyone an apology? Would it even make a difference?
He is insignificant, really. Nobody cares about him. They never have. If BJ wasn’t on that card, that arena would have been a ghost town.

Did you see anything in that fight that made you even more confident in your chances at beating Silva?
No, he was dominant over a tough guy, impressive in ways.

What impressed you about Silva’s performance?
He is accurate and moves well.

Why do you think he didn’t put away Maia, whom he clearly outclassed in the stand-up game?
He couldn’t, Maia was too tough.

Did you perceive the goading, motioning, shouting by Silva to be showmanship or disrespect? Or perhaps a little bit of both?
Look, I’m not a gang banger. I don’t talk about “respect.” That term is for street thugs, not me.

(Demian Maia puts a hurtin’ on Jason MacDonald at UFC 87. Photo courtesy of MMA Weekly.)

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner in the "Which Barely Credible Challenger Wants to Get Thrashed by Anderson Silva on Two Months’ Notice?" sweepstakes. From UFC.com:

* Sure. He’s also a mediocre kickboxer.

** Come on, nobody uses the phrase "top six." Just say "top five" and hope nobody questions it.

So let’s break this down…

(‘Nate, whaddaya say we call it a draw and go get some cheeseburgers?’ Photo courtesy of Fight Magazine)

The great mystery as to who will step up and challenge for Anderson Silva‘s middleweight title at UFC 112 on April 10 is looking like it will be solved by process of elimination.  Chael Sonnen, who became the number one contender with his upset of Nate Marquardt, now says he won’t be making the quick turnaround to face Silva in Abu Dhabi.  But with Sonnen and Vitor Belfort both ruled out, who’s left? 

Marquardt is coming off a loss at UFC 109.  Demian Maia won a fairly plodding and unimpressive decision over Dan Miller.  Wanderlei Silva and Michael Bisping are set to go at it next weekend at UFC 110.  Face it, there just aren’t many acceptable substitutes available.  If the UFC grabs the first warm 185-pound body they can find and shoves him into a title fight with Silva, we’re looking at a potential farce of epic proportions.  And haven’t we learned our lesson about matching Silva against guys he’s not really interested in beating up?

The best solution at this point would be to either pull Silva from the event entirely and wait until a credible contender is available, or else forget about the title for a little while and get to work finding an interesting 205-pounder who’s willing to accept the challenge.  Easier said than done, I suppose.

(‘And don’t let me catch you looking at my little sister again!’)

Good news for those of you who already bought your plane tickets to Abu Dhabi and have spent the last few weeks learning how to say, ‘Stand ‘em up!’ in Arabic. Despite losing Vitor Belfort to a shoulder injury, UFC 112 will still feature Anderson Silva fighting someone in the 185-pound range for a big hunk of shiny metal and leather. As Dana White recently told MMAFighting.com, Silva has not been pulled from the event just because his top challenger is out, and he’ll still be defending his belt (so abandon your hopes for a light heavyweight superfight, or a heavyweight super-superfight).

The question that has yet to be answered is, who will this opportunistic middleweight be?

(He’s got all the vague platitudes you want, but as soon as you ask about specific policy proposals suddenly it’s ‘Se habla español.’)

You know what’s fun about Chael Sonnen’s website promoting his run for Oregon State Representative? For one, there’s a picture of him forcing himself to smile, and another of him having a serious conversation over coffee with a woman who may or may not be a constituent. For another, when you click the “Priorities” tab to see what Sonnen stands for as a politician, you see only a single sentence telling you to “Check back in the coming weeks” to find out what he’s all about. But what’s most interesting is that, if you didn’t already know it, you’d have no idea that Sonnen is a professional fighter. None.

His website describes him as “a successful realtor and vice president of Caged Promotions, a sports and music production and promotion company,” and touts his wrestling credentials both at the University of Oregon (where he earned a degree in Sociology, the hippie) and as an alternate on the U.S. Olympic squad. It even mentions his volunteer work with a local youth wrestling program, and yet nowhere does it reference the UFC, MMA in general, or any kind of fighting career whatsoever.

Anderson Silva is a tough nut to crack. We know he doesn’t want to fight friends, and we know he doesn’t want to fight guys he’s already beaten, and we know he doesn’t want to fight guys who got middleweight title shots in the UFC without ever competing in the UFC at that weight class. New #1 contender Chael Sonnen doesn’t fit into any of those categories, so you’d think there wouldn’t be a problem. But as Silva’s manager Ed Soares has proven, you can find an excuse to duck pretty much anybody:

("Sorry I screwed up your pools, guys. LOL, no I’m not!" Photo courtesy of MMA Weekly.)

Between Chael Sonnen‘s domination of Nate Marquardt and Paulo Thiago picking up the Sub of the Night over Mike Swick, UFC 109 threw some serious curveballs at us. Most people who participated in MMA FightPicker this week whiffed hard at those curveballs. But some of you dinged ‘em out the park. After the first official week of FightPicker play, we’d like to shout out the current point-leaders:

1) Ciarán Parnell: 350 PotatoChips
2) Andrew Palmer: 255 PotatoChips
3) OctoAbortion: 250 PotatoChips

Please, Ciarán, e-mail us at feedback@cagepotato.com and tell us how exactly you have a hundred-point lead on the next closest competitor, this early in the game. There might be a free t-shirt in it for you.

And now for the shameless gloating part of this post. After BG and BF went head-to-head in a Palooka Pool, I (BG) am proud to say my picks were on-point enough to tie for first-place (!!!), while dickface over there tied for fourth. The other winners of Palooka Pool 30 #173 were: nine one siccness, Steve Rowbotham, James Cowley, Michael Aitken, GSPs Swollen Elbow and Torn Groin and Tim Prothero. Take an e-bow, fellas. And I should mention that there was one genius in the pool named James Berberich who managed to get every question wrong. I feel sorry for your mother, bro.

For those who fell short with their UFC 109 picks, you just have to dust yourself off and get back on the horse. Here’s what’s going on in FightPicker this week…

(Chael Sonnen explains that it’s the Ultimate *Fighting* Championship, not the Ultimate Mitt-Hitting, High-Altitude Training, Flipping a Tire Around, Screaming the Word "Yes" Championship. Props: MMA Fighting)

Following an expectation-exceeding night of action at UFC 109, the UFC handed out $60,000 pay-bumps to the following competitors:

Fight of the Night: Chael Sonnen and Nate Marquardt, for their bloody 15-minute grind, in which Sonnen survived a nasty choke attempt in the third round to secure the decision victory and earn a middleweight title shot.

Knockout of the Night: Matt Serra, for beating down Frank Trigg and proving that his hands are always dangerous, even if they’re on the end of very short arms.

Submission of the Night: Paulo Thiago, for putting Mike Swick to sleep with a D’Arce choke after knocking him to the mat in the second round of their fight. Thiago: 2, AKA: 1.

In other news…

(Couture vs. Coleman hype video by Genghis Con. Respect your elders, son.)

ATTENTION, POTATO NATION: It’s Friday afternoon, which means there’s still time to join MMA FightPicker and submit your predictions for tomorrow night’s UFC 109 card. For the thousands of players who have already signed up, we thank you, and we want you to know that we’ll be battling alongside you. In fact, BF and BG have both joined "Palooka Pool 30 #173" in an effort to determine a house champion. (Ed. note: The loser of this challenge will have to get a tattoo on his ass that says "Ben owns this. Not me, the other Ben.") So please join a FightPicker pool if you haven’t already, then take a look at how we’re answering the questions this week…

1. Randy Couture vs. Mark Coleman at UFC 109: Who will win?
BF: Randy Couture. If Couture can only beat one type of fighter on the UFC roster, it’s the type that Coleman happens to be: old, a little bit slow, and too dependent on his wrestling ability.
BG: Randy Couture. Couture is the master of the gameplan. Coleman drives around Vegas for two days with his low-fuel light on because he’s always late to practice, and runs out of gas on the 215 even though he "put that little extra in there" to begin with. Difference in mental preparation, is what I’m saying.

2. Randy Couture vs. Mark Coleman: Who will score the first takedown?
BF: Randy Couture. This is a little tougher to call, because sometimes the first takedown is determined in part by who’s gunning for takedowns right out of the gate, which should be Coleman. I still think Couture can stifle him until he’s ready to work for something out of the clinch, maybe early in the second round.
BG: Randy Couture. Ditto to all that. You might see these two guys try to prove a point by slugging for a couple rounds, but the Natural will eventually put Coleman on his back from the clinch.

3. Nate Marquardt vs. Chael Sonnen: Who will win?
BF: Nate Marquardt. Chael Sonnen says he doesn’t know what tools he has to beat Marquardt with. It might be the most sensible thing he’s said in weeks.
BG: Nate Marquardt. Okay, agreeing with you is starting to get very boring. I’d better start making some ridiculous picks to liven things up around here…

(‘Oh, all the free kittens are gone? That’s cool. You might want to take that ad out of the paper. Just, you know, so somebody like me doesn’t get his hopes up only to have them crushed and ground into a fine, depressing powder. But whatever.’)

If somehow you didn’t know who Chael Sonnen was before this week, chances are you do now.  He’s spent the run-up to his fight with Nate Marquardt at UFC 109 making inflammatory statements about almost everyone but his opponent.  I spoke to Sonnen for this SI.com feature on Saturday night’s bout, and as expected it turned out to be an interesting conversation.  Here, for your enjoyment, are selected outtakes from that talk.

Lately you’ve been making waves with your comments about Anderson Silva, saying he actually speaks perfect English but hates the media too much to talk to them. I guess I’m wondering, if it’s not a ploy to get attention, why go after Anderson now?

I didn’t really say anything about Anderson. All I said is what you said there, and that’s no big deal. Once I destroy Nate Marquardt in a few days I will set my sights on him and I will really let it go. Believe me, when I sink my teeth into this guy, those comments aren’t going to seem like anything. I was making a very fair observation. Anderson Silva speaks English. Any time the media comes around he has such disdain for you guys that it’s ‘se habla Espanol.’ He doesn’t have to talk to the media, and in fact he refuses to, and yet the media goes out and strokes his ego and puts him on the cover of everything. It’s the craziest thing I’ve seen.

(Props: GenghisConMMA via BloodyElbow)

Of Robbie Lawler‘s 18 wins, 15 have come via KO/TKO; of Melvin Manhoef‘s 24 wins, 23 have come via KO/TKO. We may not agree with Lawler’s strategy going into tomorrow night’s fight, but sometimes you just have to say "fuck it, this is going to be a slugfest, and it’s going to be awesome." Genghis Con‘s preview compilation for the middleweight battle captures that spirit perfectly. Lawler vs. Manhoef is going to end with somebody staring at the ceiling, the owner of a brand-new concussion. The only questions are: Who will it be, and how long will it last?

After the jump: Wes Sims makes it very clear why he’s such an enormous underdog against Bobby Lashley, and Chael Sonnen takes a break from his homophobic Republican heel routine to speak candidly about his upcoming UFC 109 matchup with Nate Marquardt, which will very likely produce the UFC’s next middleweight title challenger.

(‘I’ve always wanted to do this!’)

by Cage Potato contributor Elias Cepeda

After spending all of 2009 making a strong case for himself as the UFC’s top middleweight contender, Nate Marquardt finds himself facing Chael Sonnen at UFC 109 while Vitor Belfort leapfrogs him for the title shot against Anderson Silva.  In this exclusive interview Marquardt opens up about his dealings with the UFC, his thoughts on fighting Sonnen, and the bout with Dan Henderson that never materialized.

CagePotato.com: In your last fight you took on Demian Maia at UFC 102 and knocked him out in 21 seconds. I imagine you probably couldn’t be happier with that result?

Nate Marquardt: Totally (laughs). There wasn’t much more I could have asked for.

You’ve spoken before about training to do specifically what you ended up doing. Did the fight go the way you thought it would or were you surprised by the quickness?

I don’t think you could ever plan for a fight to end that quickly. When I gameplan I look for specific stuff that’s going to work on the guy that I’m comfortable doing. Other than that you can have a gameplan but it can’t be your only thing. You have to be a smart fighter and when something you weren’t training for happens you have to be able to change your game in the middle of the fight.

(Sonnen and Okami: Bros before foes.)

By CagePotato.com contributor Mike Russell

When Chael Sonnen was asked after beating Yushin Okami at UFC 104 whether or not he was upset that his fight was relegated to the undercard, his reply was:

“We got men and women at war right now – they got real problems – so me complaining about where I come out on the card would be very arrogant. But with that said, there are guys that I’m opening the show for that would never fight after me had Okami not been my dance partner. They call him Yushin “Thunder” Okami, I call him Yushin “Anchor” Okami; he pulls people down, whereas if you get a fight with me – if you get me on the docket, I’m going to pull you up. I’m going to get exposure and attention and people to care about the fight and “Anchor” Okami’s got the opposite effect. So was it annoying? Yes.”

Two months later the Team Quest middleweight apparently had a change of heart, and invited his former opponent to stay with him for a month at his home in Oregon to help kick off the training camp for his UFC 109 showdown with Nate Marquardt on February 6.

“I’m actually on my way to practice right now and Yushin is sitting next to me in the car.”

From Sportsnet.ca:

Marquardt is on a three-fight win streak, most recently knocking out Demian Maia in 21 seconds at UFC 102. Sonnen has won his last two, scoring unanimous decisions over highly-regarded middleweights Dan Miller and Yushin Okami. It’s an interesting matchup that raises some important questions: First off, does this mean that Dan Henderson has officially left the UFC? Last week, Dana White said he was certain that Henderson had been signed by Strikeforce, though his manager denied it. And hey, would Chael Sonnen get the next shot at Anderson Silva (after Vitor Belfort gets his) if he manages to pull off an upset against Marquardt? Good Lord. Thanks a lot, Hendo.

The current lineup for UFC 110 (February 21st; Sydney, Australia) is after the jump…

(Dana White discusses the impending Machida/Rua rematch, and UFC 104′s other fighters weigh-in on last night’s controversial decision. Also, Steve Mazzagatti shouldn’t be allowed to even *watch* MMA. Props to MMA Fanhouse.) 

- Don’t ask us how two of the three judges who presided over last night’s main event gave the first three rounds to the champion. Just take comfort in the fact that there will be an immediate rematch between Lyoto Machida and Mauricio Rua. Dana White announced the news at yesterday’s post-fight press conference, saying "They won’t make the same mistakes next time. Each one will try to win decisively." For the record, DW thought Shogun won the fight.

- Anthony Johnson was basically fined $10,000 per pound for missing weight. After tipping the scales at 176 on Friday, Rumble scored a ferocious TKO victory over Yoshiyuki Yoshida in just 39 seconds. But because he came in heavy, he was ineligible for UFC 104′s $60,000 Knockout of the Night bonus, which instead went to Pat Barry. (Barry picked up a second $60,000 award for Fight of the Night; his opponent Antoni Hardonk got a check for the same amount, while beanpole submission artist Stefan Struve was awarded the Submission of the Night bonus for his triangle choke of Chase Gormley.) Johnson was already giving up 20% of his purse. When asked about the botched weight-cut, AJ had this to say:

Is steroid use an epidemic in MMA? Or are most of the fighters who have tested positive simply the victims of inept athletic commissions, shady nutritional supplements, and tainted goat meat? After Josh Barnett’s latest chemical misadventure took down Affliction, we decided to round up every steroid bust in the sport since early 2002, when the Nevada State Athletic Commission began testing MMA fighters for performance-enhancing drugs. The results…may shock you.

***

JOSH BARNETT (Pt. 1)
Caught: 4/22/02, following his TKO victory over Randy Couture at UFC 36.
Tested positive for: Boldenone, Nandrolone, and Fluoxymesterone
Punishment: A six-month suspension from the NSAC and the loss of his UFC heavyweight title. Barnett fought the steroid charge, and didn’t compete again in the U.S. until PRIDE 32, four and a half years later. (See: Belfort, Nastula)
In his own words: “I am a fighter, not a lawyer. I am innocent, and I should be fighting right now.”
Repeat offender: Barnett actually tested positive once before, for two different anabolic steroids, following his submission via strikes victory over Bobby Hoffman at UFC 34 in November 2001. Josh was let off with a warning (which went unheeded, apparently) and the incident was never officially reported — but according to Sherdog’s Mike Sloan, Barnett’s first positive steroid test is what inspired Nevada to begin regularly testing UFC fighters for performance enhancing drugs.

TIM SYLVIA
Caught: 10/7/03, following his first-round knockout of Gan McGee at UFC 44.
Tested positive for: Stanozolol
Punishment: $10,000 fine and a six-month suspension from the NSAC. Sylvia voluntarily vacated his heavyweight title following his positive steroid test.
In his own words: “[A]fter I fought Ricco [Rodriguez], I was in for a long layoff. I decided to try some things and maybe change my physique a little bit and get in better shape. But whatever I used, it came back positive. I don’t know how that happened. I did it so long ago and I was way off it before I fought McGee. I think they found it in my fat cells. I guess it stays in there for a while, huh?…I heard what Josh [Barnett] had used, so I used something different and I was only using it to trim my physique. I thought that what I was using, it was going to be out by the time I fought McGee. I fought Gan and apparently it wasn’t out.”

(Sonnen gives Paulo Filho an intervention, Team Quest-style. Photo courtesy of BaltimoreSun.com.)

Although initial reports claimed that Ed Herman would be stepping in for the injured Yushin Okami against Dan Miller at UFC 98 (May 23rd, Las Vegas), there’s been another change in plans. It seems that Herman has declined the fight — likely because he just competed at UFC 97 and the five-week turnaround would be too short — and Okami’s actual replacement will be Herman’s Team Quest teammate Chael Sonnen.

Sonnen was most recently submitted by Demian Maia in his UFC return fight in February, which dropped his overall Octagon record to 1-3. The WEC/Bodog vet was slated to face Wilson Gouveia at UFC 102 (August 29th; Portland, Oregon) and still hopes to take that fight if his scrap with Dan Miller goes well. Though considering Miller’s skill with submissions (and Sonnen’s tendency to get submitted), Sonnen may be out of a job by this summer.

In other news…

Sexy Girls Teach MMA Submissions – Watch more Funny Videos

Bodog Fight may have been a cracker-jack operation run by (alleged) criminals, but their ring girls were freakin’ amazing. We just stumbled across their old series of MMA instructional clips, in which the Bodog Girls acted as lovely assistants to professional fighters. First up is Matt Thorpe, who teaches the chest-to-chest sweep. ("Nice job, ladies," indeed.) Check out the rest of the series below, where Kultar "Black Mamba" Gill takes us through the very sensual north-south triangle, Daniel Puder demonstrates an armbar from guard, and Chael Sonnen submits a model via rear-naked choke.

(Props: Caposa3 via "CRE" on the UG)

Less than three full months into 2009, and we’ve already seen some of the most creative submissions and brutal KOs in recent memory; this new highlight comp collects the best of them. Between the slo-mo footage and understated, ambient soundtrack, moments like Demian Maia‘s triangle choke of Chael Sonnen (1:17-1:47) and Nate Marquardt‘s devastation of Wilson Gouveia (3:46-4:02) seem even more epic. Enjoy. 

Props to MMA Weekly, UFC.com, The Sun, and the “UFC 95: The Aftermath” set on Combat Lifestyle.                       

(Photo courtesy of SI.com)

Another UFC event is in the books, which means it’s time again to see who’s up and who’s down according to the Potato Index’s arbitrary numerical rankings system.  It’s kind of like Bob Reilly’s poll, only we admit it’s total bullshit.  And at least this particular brand of bullshit is more fun.

Diego Sanchez +123

“The Nightmare” proved he can cut almost forty pounds and still go three rounds at a steady pace.  That could be bad news for some other lightweight contenders, though it would still be interesting to see how he stacks up against one of the better wrestlers in the division.  Sean Sherk’s not too busy, is he?

Joe Stevenson -88

Another disappointing performance for Stevenson leaves us wondering where he can possibly go from here.  He just doesn’t seem to have enough in his toolbox to hang with the top fighters, and secluding himself in Victorville, which is not known for its elite training facilities, certainly isn’t helping.

Demian Maia +204

If you’re going to do only one thing, you’d better do it extremely well, and Maia does.  He forces another quality opponent to fight on his terms and puts him away with impressive ease.  Is there any middleweight not named Anderson Silva who can pose a significant threat to him at this point?

(Props: MMA Scraps)

Diego Sanchez engages in a kickboxing bout, while Joe Stevenson fights a boxing match.  When that happens, you can usually guess who’s going to win.  A strong debut at lightweight for Sanchez.  As for Stevenson, instead of considering your own drop in weight, as you may be tempted to, how about getting with a good camp and learning some new tricks?

More videos, including Maia-Sonnen, Koscheck-Thiago, and more are after the jump.

("Look, I’m not saying you have to touch your foreheads together like some of the other guys, but you have to understand how retarded this looks right now." Photo courtesy of Combat Lifestyle.)

Like the light from a distant star that died out millions of years before it can be seen from Earth, here we are about to watch the transmission of a UFC event that already happened, hours away and across an ocean. If you were able to avoid spoilers up until this point, pat yourself on the back. And I’d just like to take this opportunity to warn you that if you want to keep this experience totally pure, maybe stay away from the comments section for a while, because there’s always gonna be some sad loser who takes perverted joy in ruining things for the rest of us, when they’re not masturbating in their own feces. (No offense to "COOL!" or the guy currently pretending to be "Kadumel." You seem like a couple of interesting dudes and I’d love to get a beer and a burger with you sometime. Please get in touch with me here.)

Live Tape-delayed results and commentary for UFC 95 are after the jump. Refresh the page every few minutes to see all the latest…

(Diego will try anything to get to 155.  Anything.)

With UFC 95 (which we’ll be liveblogging) just a day away, we took some time to berate one another regarding some of the more pressing issues surrounding the UFC’s trip to London.  Okay, so there’s essentially no main event here, but that doesn’t mean we can’t still have some fun with a night of free fights on Spike.  Plus, there are Chael Sonnen’s ridiculous claims to discuss, and so much more…

What are Diego Sanchez‘s chances as a lightweight contender? Who has the skills to beat him?

BG: His chances are freakin’ excellent. Sanchez was already the fifth best welterweight in the UFC by my count (after GSP, Alves, Fitch, and Koscheck), and he’s looked incredibly dangerous in his last two wins over David Bielkheden and Luigi Fioravanti. I was particularly surprised to hear that he was dropping to lightweight because it seemed like he was gathering steam for a title shot at welterweight. Think about it: Fitch and Kos have already been dominated by St. Pierre, and if Alves can’t beat the champ this summer, who else is ready?