- Top 10 Colleges with the hottest girls (TheRugged)

- 10 predictions for the 2011 NFL season (Bullz-Eye)

- LOL clip of the day: Oprah/screaming goat mash-up (TuVez)

- 25 photos of girls with balls in their mouths (SuperBooyah)

- The 5 best ‘Dating on Demand’ videos (HolyTaco)

- Stann believes he could be the first man to KO Sonnen (BleacherReport)

- If movie hotels were reviewed on Trip Advisor (ScreenJunkies)

- Video: Foods for the moods with Bucky Larson (MadeMan)

- 22 baseball players who just got drilled (ClutchMTV)

- Classic conditioning of college roommate (Break)

- Nickelback: not the answer to the NHL’s depression problem (WithLeather)

- Fighters Only  MMA Awards Finalists Named (MMAJunkie)

- All of Call of Duty XP’s hijinks and dirty details, front and center (Guyism)

- Video of the day: Tom Cruise gets a letter from an Aussie (FilmDrunk)

Chael Sonnen is like bad sci-fi movie; you spend hours thinking “is this really going on?” only to have the rug pulled out from underneath your feet in the final act when the film tells you “It was all in your head the entire time.”

So goes his appearance on MMA Live yesterday. During a recap of the main event of UFC 134, in which Anderson Silva made Yushin Okami (a.k.a the man Sonnen had stated Silva had been ducking ever since his “loss” to back in 2006) look like a child lost in a nightmare, Sonnen flipped the switch quicker than that batshit crazy dude in The Green Mile. Speaking of, did you know THAT’S the guy who gotten all that attention for marrying that 16 year old prostitute or whatever?  All I’m saying is, the best actors often aren’t acting at all.

(Gross. They’re like a pack of feral cats. Props: FightersOnly via MMAConvert)

Guy-on-the-left clearly comes from the Wanderlei Silva school of intimidation. But seriously, go to a clinic and get yourself tested, buddy. Any Brazilians in the house want to give us a rough translation of “Cagão”?

(“Why are we even talking about Anderson Silva? I saved that guys career and he’s yet to mail me a thank you card.” Props: NaturalBornKillerMMA)

Get in your Internet-reading now before Aeolus knocks our power out…

Dana White on Dan Henderson, Possibility of Overeem vs. Lesnar, Ortiz vs. Franklin (BleacherReport)

The 50 Best Submissions in the History of MMA (Complex)

Windy Starr Lopez Takes us Deeper (BabesofMMA)

The History Behind UFC 134: Brazil’s Top 10 Best UFC Moments (TheRugged)

Kazushi Sakuraba Returns to Meet Undefeated Submission Ace Yan Cabral at DREAM.17 (MMAFighting)

Joe Namath Wants To Make The Ladies Wet: A Gallery Of Cheerleaders In The Rain (WithLeather)

To White Michael Vick, and Beyond (TheBigLead)

18 Perplexing Band Names Explained (MTV Clutch)

Lenny Dykstra Creepily Exposed Himself to Women (Guyism)

Nutrition and Hydration Tips for Running a Marathon (Bullz-Eye)

“Bucky Larson” vs. “Jack & Jill” — Which Sandler Movie Looks More Terrible? (Filmdrunk)

The Military Has Banned Farts, You Guys (HolyTaco)

Celebrate “National Go Topless Day” With This Celebrity Hand-Bra Gallery (MadeMan)

9 Beloved Children’s Characters Who Are Obviously Gay (ScreenJunkies)

20 Amazing Photos of Sofia Vergara (TuVez)

Heavy Bag Double Kick Fail (Break)

As we all know, Chael Sonnen occasionally says things about Brazilian fighters, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, and the country of Brazil that are less than complimentary. You ever wonder what the fans of Brazil think about Chael Sonnen?

Us neither. But Ariel Helwani was at the open workouts for UFC Rio, and there were a few fans there, so why not? Turns out, while there are a few that recognize Sonnen’s promotional efforts for what they are, mostly the Brazilian fans just plain don’t like the gangster from America. Go figure.

Check out five minutes of Brazilians talking about Sonnen. It’s worth it.

[RX]

(Step one of their ferocious secret-handshake.)

So maybe “dick-tucked” was an over-simplification. Yes, Chael Sonnen will be staying home this weekend, despite his original plan to corner Yushin Okami at UFC 134 in Rio. But his reasons for backing out of the trip are a little more complicated than the fear of a Brazilian lynch mob. MMAJunkie has the details:

A source with knowledge of the situation told MMAjunkie.com that Praetorian, a Brazil-based MMA brand, threatened to pull [Okami]‘s sponsorship if Sonnen attended.

“There’s a line of people that want to kick his ass,” the source said.

And that could be the least of problems for the expert trash-talker. Sonnen said friends in the country forwarded him a local-media report in which a police chief threatened to arrest him on sight if he showed. The official cited a law that makes disparaging the national identity a crime.

(Props: notlookoutawhale)

The ducking sequence at 3:51-4:04? LOL. The cup-balancing act and Pop-Up Video homage at 4:40-5:18? LMFAO, MF.

Side note: Chael Sonnen ends this classic Helwani interview by promising to corner Yushin Okami at UFC 134. Recently, the people of Brazil vowed to lynch him on Facebook. Chael acted tough on Twitter, then reportedly dick-tucked.

(“Maybe he was born with it. Maybe it’s Maybelline.”)

One overlooked scenario from today’s blockbuster announcement that Fox Networks has signed a seven year broadcast deal with the UFC is that Gus Johnson may somehow be involved in its UFC coverage.

Fox recently inked the sometimes MMA commentator to a multi-year commentary deal that will see the veteran football and basketball play-by-play man call a variety of Pacific-12 football and basketball games, the Cotton Bowl and football games on the Big Ten Network, which is also partly owned by Fox. He will also call about 30 BTN basketball games as well as some yet-to-be-determined college basketball games on either Fox or FX.

Hopefully for the sake of the majority of MMA fans who came to loathe the much-maligned Renzo Gracie BJJ blue belt’s oblivious Strikeforce commentary, his other duties will keep his made-up mug off of the UFC-related broadcasts, that are said to include pre and post-fight shows and a weekly or daily UFC magazine-type series.

(Sometimes winning and heart aren’t enough. Just ask Vince McMahon.)

During an appearance on Steve Cofield and Kevin Iole’s ESPNRadio1100/98.9 FM’s “The MMA Insiders” show on Friday, UFC president Dana White made it clear that in spite of the fact that Jon Fitch has not lost since dropping a decision to Georges St-Pierre three years ago, the American Kickboxing Academy captain won’t likely get a title shot anytime soon because the fight is a tough one to sell.

“Everybody is saying ‘Jon Fitch is one of the best in the world, when is he fighting GSP?’ The problem is he went in and fought GSP and got destroyed,” White explained like it happened a month ago. “I mean GSP completely dominated him from the first round to the fifth round and beat him up and dropped him and everything else…”

It’s funny, Kenny Florian keeps getting title shots and the UFC has been trying to put together a rematch between Lyoto Machida and Rashad Evans despite how the last ones went.

But we digress.

Instead of scratching our heads over the UFC’s double standards when it comes to earning a title shot, we’ve come up with five suggestions for Fitch to get what he has coming to him since winning doesn’t seem to be enough.

Check out the gallery after the jump.

WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW? VidProps: BlackBeltMagazine/YouTube

Some things you just never expect to see. You never expect to see a picture of Brock Lesnar with spectacles, or BJ Penn and Matt Hughes broing it up. We will probably never see Cheick Kongo hit a flower sweep to triangle choke, or Jared Shaw look like anything but a giant bag o’ douche, or Dana White say anything nice about MMA websites. I have seen some things in my time, Nation, but this … this is a whole ‘nother thing.

What we have here is some truly unexpected video evidence of Chael Sonnen on his back. Doing jiu jitsu. Explaining jiu jitsu. Attempting, if you can believe it, a submission maneuver.

Mind is asplode.

As if that were not enough, after the jump you’ll find more video of this alternate-universe Sonnen being interviewed by a Brazilian reporter for RedeTV and saying nice, respectful things about Brazil and its flag. Lest you start to believe that one of Sonnen’s other personalities has completely taken over, relax — he’s still full of piss and vinegar whenever he talks about Anderson Silva.

(Deja vu all over again all over again: Frankie and Gray strike a familiar pose at the UFC 136 press conference. Photo via MMAMania)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

- Nate Marquardt Calls BJ Penn a Cry Baby Idiot Pothead (BleacherReport.com/MMA)

- ‘UFC 136: Edgar vs Maynard 3′ Conference Call Highlights (MMA Mania)

- Shawn Tompkins’ Sudden Death Leaves ‘Huge Void’ in Las Vegas Fight Scene (MMA Fighting)

- ‘UFC Undisputed 3′ Gameplay Trailer (LowKick)

- Fight Nerd Cinema: South Korea’s ‘Champion’ Movie Review (TheFightNerd)

- Underrated Joseph Benavidez Awaits Another Shot (NBC Sports MMA)

- Dana White: Yushin Okami is Best Fighter to Ever Come From Japan (5thRound)

- Start This Morning Off by Watching Skinny Kids Get Beat up by Alistair Overeem (MiddleEasy)

- Jon Fitch Cleared for Competition, UFC 139 Match Against Hendricks Rumored (Five Ounces of Pain)

- David Williams: A Statistical Look at Fedor Emelianenko’s Place in MMA History (FightOpinion)

- Brazilian Reporter Gifts Chael Sonnen a Brazilian Flag (MMA Convert)

- CNN to Air Replays of ‘Mayweather-Ortiz 24/7′ (MMA Payout)

By Jason Moles

Earlier this week, UFC announcer Bruce Buffer caught up with Chael Sonnen for a segment on his Sherdog Radio Network show ‘IT’S TIME!!!’. Buffer got Sonnen to open up about his highly entertaining fight with Anderson Silva, his thoughts on Tito Ortiz, and Ken Shamrock’s get-rich-quick scheme. Wait, what?!

Straight from the horse’s mouth to the screen in front of you, we’ve got the highlights of the interview.

On his loss to UFC Middleweight champion Anderson Silva:

“In what parallel scoring system do you punch a man three hundred times, he hits you eleven times, wraps his legs around your head for eight seconds and they declare him the winner? That doesn’t make you a winner.

In no form of society, from the jungle to the streets, does that make you a winner. I’m the People’s champion I’m the linear champion. I’m the best middleweight there’s ever been and I am the UFC’s true champion.”

On Tito Ortiz‘s role in the UFC:

(Unlike the rest of us, the eye candy in the back decided to open her eyes for Cyborg.)

By Jason Moles

While suffering through The Change-Up this weekend, I started thinking about the hypothetical situation of MMA fighters switching bodies. Obviously, one fighter would get the short end of the stick, like in all relationships, but other than that, it’s all good news from there. Imagine the man with a warrior spirit and broken body upgrading for a newer model. Imagine the heavy-duty gas-guzzler being replaced by a tiny, eco-friendly, electric car. Imagine experience and youth joining forces to reign terror on anything that steps in its way. So who most deserves a cinematic body-swap? Read on and find out…

BJ Penn and Brock Lesnar

Advantage: Baby Jay

For years, Penn has been criticized for his lack of self-discipline and willingness to stay in shape. Switching bodies would solve that problem and create what might be the best heavyweight in UFC history. A Nova Uniao Brazilian jiu-jitsu black belt with explosive striking and a granite chin, Penn has everything that Lesnar wishes he had. The Prodigy would be a wrecking ball at heavyweight if he had Brock’s body — as long as the viking took the diverticulitis thing with him. If he had to keep the illness during the switch, then I guess we could all agree that we’d like to see Josh Koscheck trade bodies with Brock.

(Pat Promrangka savagely knocks out Mitch Heron at FightWorld Cup 9, Saturday night in Queensland, Australia. Props: Doombringer002)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

- What’s Next for UFC 133 Winners and Losers? (NBC Sports MMA)

- Chael Sonnen Takes Unique Approach to Selling Brian Stann Fight (5thRound)

- Dana White Talks Shaquille O’Neal, GSP vs. Nick Diaz and ‘TUF 14′ (MMA Fighting)

- ‘The Ultimate Show’ Episode 3, Hosted by Kenda Perez (BleacherReport.com/MMA)

- ONE FC: Phil Baroni Has Been Put on This Earth to Do Two Things…Chew Bubble Gum and Kick Ass (MMA Mania)

- Jon Jones Insists the “Jealous Snake” Rashad Evans Never Was His Friend (LowKick)

- Jens Pulver Returns to Action Against Ox Wheeler at “MMA Fight Pit: Genesis” (TheFightNerd)

- Check Out This Hi-Res Panel From the First Full-Length MMA Comic Book, ‘Joe Palooka’ (MiddleEasy)

- Randy Couture’s Next Movie: ‘Setup’ Trailer (MMA Convert)

- Thiago Alves: “I’ll Try to Knock Him Out or Submit All Opponents From Now On.” (Five Ounces of Pain)

- Dana White: “I Really Love to Stick It to the Fedor Fans Because They’re Such Lunatics” (FightOpinion)

- ESPN Reports Fox As New Front-Runner For UFC TV Deal (MMAPayout)

(Video courtesy of YouTube/MMALatino)

When Chael Sonnnen tried to blame his comments about Lance Armstrong getting cancer from PED use on a Mexican imposter nobody bought it, but there could have been some truth to the story.

Props: Zombie Prophet

If you were lucky enough to be in Philly for the lead up to UFC 133, you were treated to a Q&A session with none other than Chael Sonnen. True to form, Chael Sonnen gave some brutally honest potentially scripted answers to the fans. And of course, the obligatory praise for Dana White, going as far as saying that Dana White would end the recession if he was president. Really. Not to imply that Chael would ever use plants for a Q&A session, but his response to “What happened in California? (9:52 mark)” seemed pre-packaged, even for an eagle among turkeys like Chael Sonnen.

Some brief highlights after the jump:

(You know you’ve been an ass when Captain America spanks you – Vid courtesy of YouTube/zansinigoj)

Back in the day, Tito Ortiz had the uncanny ability to piss off even the most level-headed opponents, but since he dropped off in the rankings, nobody has been paying his mouth much attention the past few years. As such, “The Huntington Beach Bad Boy” announced last week during a UFC 133 conference call that he’s done with smack talk and that he’s instead going to put all of his energy into training.

We’ll believe it when we see it, but in the meantime, check out what Tito had to say about the new breed of trash talkers in the sport after the jump.

(Video courtesy of YouTube/StocktonHeyBuddy)

Chael Sonnen appeared on Sherdog and IBN Sports’ Fight Week and he had some interesting things to say about a number of topics, including his upcoming fight with Brian Stann,  selling fights, smack talking and the allegations that his outspoken American Gangster persona is all an act.

Check out the meat and potatoes of this other instant classic Sonnen interview after the jump.

(Video courtesy of Youtube/twistereddie)

It was inevitable that a Brazilian with the credentials to back up his threats would give Chael Sonnen a piece of his mind for the Xenophobic remarks “The American Gangster” has been spouting off about the South American country. 27-time Mundials champ Renato Laranja released the video above calling out Sonnen for disrespecting him and his homeland, and let’s just say he pulled no punches.

“Ashely Sonnen. I’m see you. I can see you right now. You’ve been talking your big mouths. You been talking a lot of stuffs.You talk a lot of respect for Brazil. You stay a lot of stuff like, ‘They pet the bus and they feed the carrot to the bus.’ That’s a very funny stuffs. But you say we don’t have a the Internet in Brazil. I think you’re wrong. I know I have Internet in Brazil. We have everything. I have a MySpace. I’m a new with the thing. Every kids have the MySpace. I have my job friends. I have Marco Ruas. I have Pedro. I have the Pedro. I have a de Pedro Rizzo. Those guys who clean the streets, he told me to put MySpace I don’t know how long ago it was. Maybe even three months ago he told me to put it. I download the music I call in Napster. You can’t tell me about the Internet.”

(Video courtesy of YouTube/StocktonHeyBuddy)

Something to break up an otherwise slow news day.

(Video courtesy of YouTube/SNETCF)

If we didn’t know better, we’d say that the folks at Sportsnet commissioned an AI robot from Round 5 in the “likeness” of Dana White to put the fighters he interviews at ease. But sadly, it’s just Canadian MMA talking head “Showdown” Joe Ferraro asking Chael Sonnen questions in an unnatural radio announcer timbre and inflection in the videos above and below.

Even Chael seems taken aback by Twiki’s voice at first, or maybe it was just because the interviewer’s opening of, “Talk a bit about your next opponent Brian Stann,” left “Showdown” open for a predictable Wikipedia-worthy account of Stann’s fight bio.

(Video courtesy of YouTube/ChaelSonnenTV)

Chael Sonnen gave this recent interview in which he sort of explains why he developed his new cocky persona that was born some time after his fight with Yushin Okami. Prior to that bout, Chael was praising upcoming opponent Paulo Filho for working through his mental and substance abuse problems to get back into the cage to compete, going as far as to say that he “admired” the embattled Brazilian who had beaten him a few months prior.

It turns out that Sonnen consciously began forcing himself into “walking the walk” as well as “talking the talk” after coming to the realization that he was selling himself short psychologically.

If you have a good feeling that Brian Stann is going to upset Chael Sonnen when the pair meet at UFC 136 in October, now is the time to throw some money down.

Stann opened up at BetUS.com at +200, meaning that if “All American” wins, for every $100 you bet on him you will get back $200 plus your original wager. Sonnen, on the other hand opened up on the site at a less favorable -260, meaning that if you place a $260 bet on “The American Gangster,” your total return would be $360 is he wins.

(Clash of the Titans? So which one’s the kraken? Props: shosports)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

- Handing Out Hardware: 2011 MMA Mid-Year Awards (Five Ounces of Pain)

- Georges St. Pierre ‘Grinds Down’ a Female at Boulevard 3 Nightclub in Hollywood (MMA Mania)

- Rashad Evans: “When Jon Jones loses (in the UFC), he’s going to quit in a fight” (FightOpinion)

- ProElite’s T. Jay Thompson Shares Details on the Promotion’s August 27th Return (MMAPayout)

- Video: If You Thought the Kim Couture Late Stoppage Was Bad… (MMA Convert)

- Exclusive: Will Frank Trigg Be the Third Fighter in a Row Retired by Tom “Kong” Watson? (BleacherReport.com/MMA)

- There’s Still Time to Enter the Chael Sonnen Baby-Onesie Design Contest; Check Out the Front-Runners Here (MiddleEasy)

- Half-Year in Review: 2011′s UFC Stats, Facts & Figures (MMA Fighting)

- Photo Gallery: Nam Phan Trains for UFC 133 Fight Against Mike Brown (LowKick)

- Bellator Fighting Championships Hosting Open Tryouts July 16th in New Jersey (5thRound)

- Round 5 Unveils Bruce Lee Figure Based on “Enter the Dragon” (TheFightNerd)

- Exclusive: Jon Jones Discusses UFC 135 Fight With Rampage, Feud With Rashad (NBC Sports MMA)

(Video courtesy of YouTube/ConorHeun)

Remember the grisly photo we posted of Conor Heun’s broken arm he suffered in his win over Magno Almeida? Well, it turns out Conor’s elbow was merely dislocated by one of the numerous armbars Almeida caught him in and is now back to normal, but according to “Hurricane,” he wouldn’t have tapped even if his arm snapped.

VidProps: Ariel, Esther, E Casey, and MMAFighting

As Chael Sonnen’s utterly superfluous PR agent/hype man (because really, he can do that himself), i had to share this. Ariel Helwani sat Sonnen down last week to talk to him about his suspension and Hormone Replacement, and he wound up with 20 minutes of comedy. If you don’t understand why some people love Sonnen after watching this, i do not know what to tell you.

The interview starts off with a few fairly serious minutes of PED discussion, but as soon as UFC 132 and Wanderlei Silva come up, Sonnen’s voice gets louder and the gold starts pouring out of him. (Maybe the Jack and Coke kicked in.) After that, just hold on and enjoy the ride.

One note to Sonnen though: Batman would absolutely beat Superman. He’s got a Kryptonite ring that Superman gave him just in case Supes went off the deep end and started nuking cats with his heat vision and soccer kicking babies into the Sun. This is elementary stuff, player; it’s the titular example of a popular trope in fiction. How does he not know that?

[RX]

“…and that’s why I’m the true UFC middleweight champ. Next question.”

Well this is interesting: reports from MMAJunkie and HeavyMMA are indicating that Chael Sonnen will not be getting that bout with Lyoto Machida that he’s been bucking for, and instead will meet middleweight Brian Stann at UFC 136 in October.

Sonnen, who will no doubt make our “P4P Most Entertaining Fighters Outside the Cage” list (if we ever get around to actually compiling it), has been lobbing barbs at anyone with a connection to middleweight king Anderson Silva for about a year now, including the Nogueira brothers and Machida. Rumors over the past week had hinted that Sonnen may be briefly visiting the light heavyweight division for a fight with the Dragon, which would have undoubtedly led to smack talk of a magnitude that the MMA world was unprepared for.

(“Ay Handy, what did the five toes say to the face?” Props: MMAWeekly)

UPDATE: The fight looks like it might actually happen; Fighters Only says it’s slated for UFC 136 (October 8th in Houston), while BloodyElbow says it might take place this winter.

“I don’t know what the future holds, there’s plenty of guys out there to fight. There’s a karate guy at 205 pounds, I might stop there on my way back to 185 for a tune-up fight and take out Machida, but we’ll see, we’ll see where it goes.” — Chael Sonnen to MMAFighting at UFC 132

“I think that’s great, I’m excited to do that. He’s coming back now, wants to fight, and I really think it’s a good fight for me. If Sonnen really wants this fight, I’ll sign it immediately, no problem at all.” — Lyoto Machida responding to Tatame

It shouldn’t come as a big surprise that Sonnen wants to ease back into the UFC as a light-heavyweight, considering he’s a gigantic son-of-a-bitch these days. Plus, Machida’s persona as a pee-drinking Brazilian Seagal-student has already given Uncle Chael a lot of material to tweet with.

Only days removed from his suspension, MMA’s best trash talker is eager to get his mug back in the spotlight. When asked his thoughts on tonight’s battle between fellow middleweights Chris Leben and Wanderlei Silva, Chael wasted little time in slinging some mud and continuing his verbal tirade on Wanderlei.

Neither Chael’s desire to face the “Axe Murderer” in his return bout nor his delusion that he is the Middleweight Champion have waned. The short video is peppered with gems which prove that Sonnen isn’t suffering from the dreaded mic-rust.

By Jason Moles

“We the people of CagePotato.com, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Bans, insure comments section Tranquility, provide for the common noob, promote the general Lack of Welfare, and attempt to secure the Blessings of Dana to ourselves and our readers, do ordain and establish this Comparison of fighters and fireworks for the Potato Nation.”

There are plenty of MMA fighters out there who love to bring the pyrotechnics to the cage, lighting up their opponents for the enjoyment of the fans and the pleasure of a paycheck. In honor of Independence Day weekend — and our new friends at Wild Turkey — here’s a list of actual 4th of July fireworks that remind us of some well-known scrappers. Celebrate safely, and please try not to lose any fingers.

Snap-n-Pops (aka bang snaps, snappers, or whip’n pops): Corey Hill, Jason MacDonald, Razak Al-Hassan, Tim Sylvia

Call ‘em what you want, these small novelty fireworks are perfect for youngsters. You throw them against a wall, floor, or sleeping grandparent, and they make a satisfying POP! Cool, huh? It’s hard not to think of a ‘Snap-n-Pop’ and not think of these guys, whose limbs unfortunately made the same noises in their past fights.

Roman Candles: Clay Guida

Excitement. Power. Flash. Seemingly unending performance. Fun. Clay ‘The Carpenter’ Guida is more than your average firework. Hey may not blow up any doors but rest assured he’s always going to be a crowd favorite. No one has ever had a Roman Candle war or watched a Guida fight and not had the time of their life. For every colorful ball that is emitted from the candle, Guida whips his hair back and shoots in for a takedown. Regardless of what happens, they both just keep going until the final bell. When messing around with either, be careful; someone usually ends up a bloody mess.