(18 seconds in = that moment when you realize you’ve literally been screaming obscenities on national television for the past 15 seconds. Props to FightersOnly.) 

We should all be thanking our lucky stars for tape delay, because if it weren’t for the quick minds (and fingers) of the UFC’s censorship department, some of our children might have had their minds permanently tainted by the obscene gestures and naughty words used by two men trying to beat the ever-loving shit out of each other last Saturday night. And that is unacceptable. I mean, violence is one thing, but the middle finger being thrown about all willy-nilly?! I don’t want my illegitimate children growing up in that kind of cold, harsh world.

And God forbid the censors had let the onslaught of f-bombs delivered by BJ Penn‘s trainer during his introduction (as captured above) slip past them, or we would have had a full blown crisis on our hands. As you can see, the gentlemen to the top left of the screen — likely through some sort of Hawaiian, mumbo-jumbo voodoo ritual that involves the repeated shouting of curse words — somehow absorbed all of the energy Penn was supposed to have stored up for his fight with Rory MacDonald in the moments beforehand. It’s the only explanation of how Penn gassed in a minute and a half, and the defense I am prepared to use whilst trapping my disappointment in his performance deep in the recesses of my soul.

Anyway, I spent most of my morning drowning my sorrows in alcohol compiling a playlist of awesome, semi-MMA-related videos from around the web that will last you through your lunch break, so check ‘em out after the jump.

Thanks to Manny Yarborough GOAT for digging up this classic fight from King of the Cage 4 back in June 2000, in which a young Duane Ludwig beats the absolute dogshit out of MMA pioneer Shad Smith, who entered the cage wearing the same pair of sneakers and white socks that he showed up to the arena in. No, this would not be Shad’s night. Ludwig’s Muay Thai was nasty even back then, and the referee was as shitty as most local refs were in those days — two factors that combined to produce an uncomfortably violent late-stoppage. Skip to the 2:25 mark for the beginning of the end.

After the jump: Shad’s 2004 King of the Cage bout against Krazy Horse Bennett, which is worth watching just for their pre-fight promo packages. A credit to humanity, both of these guys.

It’s easy- perhaps even a bit lazy- to compare the embattled MMA fighter Drew Fickett to the similarly troubled Scott Hall. In their primes, both men performed on their respective sport’s biggest stages against recognizable names. In Fickett’s case, this meant a run in the UFC and notable victories over Dennis Hallman, Kenny Florian, Josh Neer, Josh Koscheck and Kurt Pellegrino.

Yet it’s arguable that both men are more famous for their self-destructive, chaotic lifestyles outside of sport than they are for their accomplishments. Both men have well documented struggles with addiction, have been fired from major promotions over their drunken antics and have attempted to stay relevant in their respective sports with increasingly tragic results.

Case in point: Last night’s ShoFIGHT 20, which took place on the campus of Drury University in Springfield, Missouri. The show was essentially a who’s who of washouts from bigger promotions, which included (aside from Fickett) John Gunderson, Karo Parisyan, Kendall Grove, Lyle Beerbohm, Marcus Aurelio, Charles Bennett, “Smilin’” Sam Alvey and Roli Delgado. This card saw Fickett matched up against submission specialist Jonatas Novaes.

(Goldie and Rogan get their groove on during the UFC 132 prelims. Props: atran416)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. (Welcome aboard, MMAPayout and FightOpinion!) E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

- UFC 132: Payout Perspective (MMAPayout)

- Urijah Faber Considers Adapting His Fight Style Based on How MMA Judges Score Fights (FightOpinion)

- ‘Krazy Horse’ Bennett: “When I Got 22 Losses, I Realized That I Needed to Train” (BleacherReport.com/MMA)

- This Guy Learns the ‘Tap or Snap’ Rule the Hard Way (MiddleEasy)

- Why Tito Ortiz Winning Is a Good Thing (MMA Convert)

- UFC 134: Overweight Forrest Griffin Wants to Go Hard for 15 minutes Against ‘Shogun’ Rua (MMA Mania)

- Brian Bowles Hand Not Broken in UFC 132 Win, Wants Dominick Cruz Next (MMA Fighting)

- Fistic Fireworks: Ten Moments in the UFC’s Fourth of July History (Five Ounces of Pain)

- 4th of July Treat: Miesha Tate at UFC 132 (LowKick)

- Melvin Guillard Puts Belt Before Brothers…And Mother (5thRound)

- A Day in the Life of Jeff Monson, Part 8: Jeff Gets a New Tattoo (TheFightNerd)

- UFC 132: Five Lessons Learned (NBC Sports MMA)

If your garbage cable company doesn’t carry HDNet (thanks, Time Warner) or if you had a hot date last night (yeah, right), you may have missed Michael Schiavello’s highly entertaining interview with Wanderlei Silva. Don’t worry, we got you covered. This lengthy, up-close look at “The Axe Murderer” showcases the jovial, caring personality that so bizarrely compliments the skull crushing beast we all know and love. A few short notes and parts 2, 3, & 4 after the jump.

(Video courtesy of  YouTube/MrKidKhaos)

Charles Bennett emerged last week from wherever he’s been hiding since being choked out by Drew Fickett during the Shine Fights lightweight tournament just long enough to film himself sipping on a Mountain Dew and puffing on a Black & Mild while calling out a handful of fighters he has beefs with.

(Props: clearwatertopteam via ‘grenade’ on the UG)

Say what you will about his well-documented insanity and love of getting arrested. You can’t deny that Charles "Krazy Horse/Kid Kaos" Bennett is a creative juggernaut who was using the cage to his advantage long before Anthony Pettis was picking up Breakthrough Fighter of the Year accolades. Here’s a highlight from one of Bennett’s old King of the Cage bouts where he defends an armbar by picking up his opponent and giant-swinging him into the cage. Now that you’re in the mood, we’ve compiled five more classic Krazy Horse moments after the jump. Shine on, you crazy diamond.

(Feelin’ lucky?)

Okay, I know it’s too early to do a Gambling Addiction Enabler on Strikeforce’s "Fedor vs. Werdum" show (June 26, San Jose), but I just had to pass along the squashtastic betting lines that have been released for the top four fights on the card. Check it out:

– Fedor Emelianenko -1000 vs. Fabricio Werdum +500
– Cristiane Santos -2500 vs. Jan Finney +1000
– Cung Le -400 vs. Scott Smith +275
– KJ Noons -500 vs. Charles Bennett +360

Let me try to put this in perspective. According to BetUs.com, if you place a $100 parlay bet on all four of the underdogs listed above, and they all somehow manage to win their fights, you would walk away with a profit of $89,150. A more modest $20 parlay bet would net you $17,830. 

(Hopefully, for KJ’s sake, that scale is bolted down)

Sherdog is reporting that June’s Strikeforce: Fedor vs. Werdum  event has added double the firepower with the addition of a main card bout featuring former EliteXC lightweight champion KJ Noons and Charles "Krazy Horse" "Kid Kaos" Bennett. The fight will be a heavily anticipated rematch of their February 10, 2007 fight (video after the jump) that saw Bennett knock Noons out in the first round.

(Some artists work in oils or acrylics. "Krazy Horse" works in mug shots.)

Hope you’re sitting down for this one, Potato Nation, because it isn’t going to be easy to hear.  Charles "Krazy Horse" Bennett, the Pride and EliteXC veteran with ten years worth of MMA experience, has been arrested.  Again.  Sherdog.com reports that Bennett was popped at 6:30 pm on Monday night "on suspicion of felony aggravated battery" at the FIT NHB gym in Albuquerque, New Mexico, where he is listed as a team member.  It’s unclear whether that means he was simply picked up at the gym, or whether he actually committed the (alleged) battery there, though the latter would make for a much better story, especially if it happened during a training session.

Obviously, Bennett is innocent until proven guilty, but this isn’t the Horse’s first run-in with the law.  The guy’s been nabbed so many times there is a highlight reel of his mug shot photos, and it’s generally accepted that if you book him to fight there’s always a chance that he’ll miss the date due to being in jail.  His past exploits on the wrong side of the law have included arrests for drug distribution, kidnapping, domestic violence, and battery against a pregnant woman.  Yeah, we know.

After the jump, check some highlights from "Krazy Horse’s" career in legal violence

(Props: MMA Mania)

Rivalry is the over-arching theme in this in-depth video preview for UFC 99 (Cologne, Germany; June 13th). First we have Rich Franklin vs. Wanderlei Silva, with much being made of Franklin’s decision to train with Wandy’s anti-BFF, Anderson Silva. Ace considers the Axe Murderer to be just as dangerous now as he was in PRIDE, and looks forward to a stand-up war. Wanderlei just wants to get past Franklin so he can settle up with Anderson once and for all.

In a card that’s moderately stacked with names like Mirko Cro Cop, Cain Velasquez, Cheick Kongo, and Caol Uno, it’s suprising that Marcus Davis vs. Dan Hardy is being treated like the co-main event here. But these two got beef. Hardy thinks Davis is a fake Irishman, and Davis thinks Hardy is a douchebag with a stupid red mohawk. Will their combined hatred produce a Fight of the Night?

After the jump: Some vintage California Kid from December 2005, in honor of his rematch with Mike Brown being just nine days away…

(Props: max power)

One of the great urban legends of MMA comes from PRIDE Shockwave 2005, where Charles “Krazy Horse” Bennett was supposedly jumped by six members of Chute Boxe in a locker room after the event. As Krazy Horse tells it, he knocked out Wanderlei Silva after he regained consciousness.

Finally, someone has come up with video evidence of the fracas, and it turns out Horse’s version of the story has some holes in it. The clip above shows Bennett doing the “jumping,” as he tackles Cristiano Marcello after some trash-talk from the Brazilian. Rather than gang-stomping Krazy Horse, the Chute Boxe team displays remarkable restraint in letting the pair settle their beef one-on-one, which eventually leads to Marcello choking Horse into unconsciousness. (Now that is just high-level locker room jiu-jitsu.)

As for that bit about Bennett knocking out the Axe Murderer? Well, apparently, that moment wasn’t captured on tape. But hey, we’ll take Krazy Horse’s word for it…

The best highlight video of the week, featuring the world’s greatest lightweights (and Melvin Guillard) laying waste to their opponents. Watch it and take pride in your naturally petite frame. Props to Chris Keller via “CRE” on the UG.

Here’s the PRIDE Bushido 9 fight between Charles “Krazy Horse” Bennett and Dokonjonosuke Mishima, in which the Horse quotes Forrest Gump, extolls the virtues of masturbation, tears apart a stuffed animal, and gets subbed with a heel-hook. Props to MMAScraps.

(“Aim for the one in the middle.”)

Earlier today, we reminded you that a fight between heavyweights Frank Mir and Justin McCully was slated to go down at UFC 86; shortly after, the matchup disappeared from the UFC 86 fight card page. So what happened? Well, if you’ll remember way back to last week, we reported that Mir had signed to be a coach on the eighth season of The Ultimate Fighter, competing against a team led by Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira. We stand by that report, but it would also make sense that the UFC would now try to convince Mir and Nogueira to headline UFC 85, which still lacks a credible main event — unless they give up and put the card on SpikeTV for free, in which case Bisping vs. Leben is fine by us. We’ll update you if anything is formally announced.

In other UFC news…

— Charles McCarthy has retired. When I first saw that headline I was like, “OMFG, no more Krazy Horse?!” Then I realized they weren’t talking about Charles Bennett, but about that douche who couldn’t fight nearly as well as he trash-talked vs. Bisping last weekend. Good luck with all your future endeavors…?

— The UFC is reportedly negotiating with FOX for a network TV deal, but is going through their entertainment division as opposed to the sports division, just as it tried to do with CBS and NBC. As MMAPayout writes, “In theory, the promotion would enjoy greater editorial control as an entertainment property, which was reportedly a sticking point in its negotiations with HBO and CBS.”

— Brandon Vera’s one-year goal is to win both the UFC’s heavyweight and light heavyweight titles. After he steamrolls through Nogueira (or whoever, really) and Quinton Jackson (or Forrest?), he plans on buying Rampage a car with a vanity plate that says “LOSER.” Just another sad example of the delusional behavior brought on by extended Norco abuse.

Because it’s been a long day, and I just need some Krazy Horse in my life. Maybe you do too.

Sure, why not — here’s Krazy Horse’s fight against K.J. Noons at EliteXC: Destiny (2/10/07), which we discussed earlier. It’s a leg-kick battle for a while, until the guys start throwing leather and Noons walks into a sledgehammer right hook. Entertaining as always, Bennett does his backflip thing a couple times after the knockout then leaves the cage before the cops can show up.

(The man on the ground is now EliteXC’s lightweight champion. The man in the air is now under a bridge selling oranges, possibly.)

Gary Shaw must have a boner for flying knee knockouts.

When EliteXC signed K.J. Noons, he was a pro boxer who was riding three-straight knockout victories in MMA matches for Icon Sport. His first fight for Elite in February ’07 resulted in a knockout loss to Charles “Krazy Horse” Bennett, and he was relegated to a ShoXC card for his next match in July. Fortunately, he scored a dramatic flying-knee KO of Edson Berto in that fight, and despite having just seven pro MMA fights under his belt at that point he was given an immediate title shot in the 160-pound division against UFC vet Nick Diaz. Incredibly, that fight didn’t go so well for Diaz.

Now, it looks like Noons’s first title defense will be against Yves Edwards. And how did Edwards earn his shot? Coincidentally, with a hopping-knee knockout of Edson Berto, which must have tickled Gary Shaw something fearsome. To be honest, I kind of wish other fight organizations operated like EliteXC, where title shots don’t depend on a string of victories over top competition or marketability, but rather on who just pulled off the last ridiculous KO.

So yes, American Top Team confirmed today that Edwards will face Noons on April 26th in Hawaii for EliteXC’s 160-pound title. And not everybody’s happy about it. Nick Diaz called Noons out for ducking a rematch — according to Diaz, he just had surgery to fix his face, and that inconvenient blood-explosion thing won’t happen again — after which an insulted Noons responded with the following:

“First of all, I don’t dodge anybody. Whoever is the best, I want to fight them. As champion, you can decline who you want to fight. You only have one option as to who you’re going to fight, and that’s the best. Whoever the best is, that’s who I have to fight. In regard to a rematch with Nick, that would be a great pay day for me. Unfortunately, he’s not the best.”

Noons went on to express his desire for a rematch with Krazy Horse Bennett, which we’d love to see. And now, just for fun, here’s Yves Edwards’ acrobatic head-kick KO of Josh Thomson at UFC 49. I know we’ve discussed Steve Mazzagatti’s horrible reffing in the past, but this, I swear to you, is his worst performance of all time. Watch how he wanders into the frame like somebody’s lost grandfather after Edwards puts Thomson’s lights out, and slow-walks over to the fighters as Yves lands uninterrupted shots on Thomson’s face. It’s literally as if Mazzagatti forgot where he was and what he was supposed to be doing. Amazingly awful.

(Victor Valenzuela and Krazy Horse.)

Charles “Krazy Horse” Bennett — the unhinged lightweight journeyman who is scheduled to fight at EliteXC’s “Street Certified” event on February 16 — was arrested yesterday for domestic assault. His arraignment is scheduled for today, and he has already been replaced on a King of the Cage card that will happen this Thursday; Bennett was booked to fight Victor Valenzuela, who will now be facing Matt Ver Halen. Bennett was supposed to fight Valenzuela at an EliteXC/Strikeforce event in June of last year, but that fight was also canceled after Bennett was arrested on charges of assault and false imprisonment. His status for next month’s “Street Certified” card has not yet been determined.

Bennett has actually been arrested many, many times before on drug and assault charges. But no matter how times cuffs are slapped on the Horse, his happily-go-lucky spirit is never broken. For proof, check out this compilation of all his smilin’ mugshots (skip past the first 0:28), and watch ’til the end for his special message to the kids:

The good news for EliteXC is that they’ve found an opponent for heavyweight rising star Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva on the “Street Certified” card. Silva — who EliteXC live events prez Gary Shaw has claimed “could knock out any heavyweight in the UFC” — will face former UFC champ Ricco Rodriguez; both men have previously fought as super-heavyweights. Speaking of drugs, Rodriguez makes his first appearance on VH1′s Celebrity Rehab this Thursday at 10 p.m. ET.