(“Look Nik, if your eyeball keeps popping out, we’ll have to dock you a point for stalling.”)

Thanks to Submission of the Night awards in all three of his UFC victories — on top of the 50 G’s he earned in his Fight of the Night/no-contest against Nik Lentz last June — Charles Oliveira has pocketed $195,000 in total bonus money during his two-year stint in the UFC, allowing him to buy his girlfriend cheeseburgers and salad pretty much whenever she asks for it. Not a bad life for a prospect who’s still just 22 years old.

Now coming off his victorious featherweight debut against Eric Wisely, which resulted in another SOTN bonus via calf-slicer, Oliveira has been booked to return against TUF 12 winner Jonathan Brookins at the TUF 15 Finale (June 1st, Las Vegas). Brookins has gone 1-1 in the UFC as a 145′er since winning his TUF trophy, and most recently scored a quick and brutal first-round knockout of Vagner Rocha at UFC on FUEL 1. Brookins has never been submitted in his career, but there’s a first time for everything, especially when you’re facing a ground-maniac like Oliveira.

By now, you know the deal when it comes to Dana White’s videoblogs, and today’s “episode” is no different. Taking a behind-the-scenes look at the aftermath of the UFC’s second Fox event, the UFC 143 videoblog contains the familiar mix of upper and downer moments, with an emphasis on the downer. Especially tough to watch is Joey Beltran’s realization that his Zuffa career may have reached a temporary standstill in the wake of his first round KO loss to Lavar Johnson. Keep your chin up, “Mexicutioner.”

Let’s get right to the highlights.

(0:45) - Jon Jones, seen here for the last time before disappearing into a thicket of notes from which he has yet to emerge.

(1:22) – God damn it, will someone give Beltran a hug and tell him that everything is going to be alright?

(1:40) – Eric Wisely, still in awe of the calf-slicer Charles Oliveira was able to pull on him. The pain was apparently so incredible that Wisely has trouble explaining to the backstage physician where exactly the strain was.

(2:48) – Jon Jones explains how Cub Swanson is one of the “nastiest dudes” on Team Jackson. He makes a good point.

(Little did Eric Wisely know just how quickly a game of Twister could spiral out of control when he spun “left foot blue.”) 

Simply put, Saturday’s second UFC on Fox event saw its fair share of ups and downs. Chris Weidman was able to score the biggest win of his career over Demian Maia on just 11 days notice (which leads us to believe that the Vegas bookies knew something about Maia the rest of the world didn’t), and both Rashad Evans and Chael Sonnen managed to punch their tickets to a title shot against the men they despise the most. And though the future is set for two contenders, the fates of many still remain unsure. That’s why we are here to right the ship that misplaced NFL theme music and Jon Jones’ “commentary” threatened to sink. So join us as we determine the best match-ups for last weekend’s biggest winners and losers.

Phil Davis: Although he started off strong (or at least held his own) in the striking department in the early going, the championship rounds saw Davis overwhelmed by “Suga’s” speed and stamina, content to throw weak, pawing jabs that were anything but wonderful. My older brother, who is by no means a huge MMA fan, summed it up best when he said, “What does he expect to accomplish with that kind of offense?” Davis undoubtedly has a bright future ahead, but needs to round out his game a little more before he takes on a top contender like Evans again. Matching him up against the resurgent Stephan Bonnar, or, depending on how he fares against Rampage Jackson, Ryan Bader would make sense. Forrest Griffin is also a big light heavyweight coming off a loss, so that could make for a great fight as well.

Swanson vs. Roop provided an early candidate for Side-Punchface of the Year. Props: UFC.com

Remember how last night, you invited your non-MMA fan friends over to introduce them to our sport? You spent the past week talking about how Chael Sonnen is one of the best trash talkers in professional sports, and how technical and talented these fighters were. You figured that after three fights that were guaranteed to be exceptional, your friends would be won over to MMA fandom. Then you’d continue to drink and be merry all night, and we’d all meet up here today for our traditional post-UFC event GIF party where we all high five over how awesome the fights were.

Well, it didn’t quite work out that way. Instead, you found yourself doing damage control as you watched three fights worth of sloppy brawling, wall and stall and Chael Sonnen’s blatant swaggerjacking of homage to “Superstar” Billy Graham. You tried to convince them that the fights are usually nothing like this, and that these guys gassing out and the end of the first round are world class athletes. Eventually, one of your friends said “I bet Pacquiao would destroy ANY of these guys” as the rest of your friends grabbed their coats and said they’d call you next time they wanted to watch the fights.

Okay, so last night sucked. But we’ve been planning this party all week, and we’ll be damned if we cancel it at this point. So grab an alcoholic beverage, put on your gaudiest Affliction shirt and join us for our traditional post-UFC event GIF Party.

As always, praise be to Zombie Prophet at IronForgesIron.com for the GIFS.

Totally illegal in NCAA competition. (Photo: UFC.com)

“It’s usually not like this.” With that text I found myself apologizing to a UFC-virgin for the first time in a long time. My friend had just told me that she was at home watching the the show on FOX, without any provocation from me mind you. “This is that fighting you like, right???”. I assured her that the event had yet to capture the energy and excitement indicative of the sport. “I’m going back and forth between this and figure skating,” she replied. I can’t really say I blame her, either.

While we expected plenty of grappling in the bouts themselves, the wrestling theme seemed to carry on throughout the production at large. The usually-charismatic Jon Jones wrestled with his notes, relying on them not just for in-depth fight analysis but for simple things like his thoughts on fighting Rashad. The opening act wrestled with fatigue, leading to a performance as exhausting for fans as it was for the competitors in the cage. And once again, FOX wrestled with an underwhelming broadcast that left the most exciting action behind in the prelims.

Enough belly aching about the show itself, let’s take a look at what made such a promising event so forgettable for the masses.

By Jason Moles

Over the last 18 months, we’ve been lucky enough to get six live fight cards on Versus, completely free of charge. This past Saturday marked the end of Versus’s run as the “home away from home” for the UFC on basic cable. Not to worry, though: More free, live fights will be coming your way soon on FOX, FX, and Fuel TV. We thought we’d take a look back at the best of the best from the “UFC Live” series, but first, here’s how those sixty-five fights were decided: 24 (T)KOs, 15 Submissions, 23 Judges Decision, 2 Doctor Stoppages, and 1 No Contest.

Now let’s hand out some hardware, shall we?

Biggest Upset: Charlie Brenneman Beating Rick Story

Full betting lines for this Sunday’s UFC Live: Hardy vs. Lytle event have been released, which means it’s time to steal some money from your old lady’s purse and tell her you’re going for a walk. And if you follow our gambling advice very carefully, you’ll be able to return the cash before she notices and earn some extra cigarette-money in the process. (Ed. note: You’ll probably lose everything like usual. Are things ever going to change with you, Jim?) Check out the juiciest lines, via bestfightodds.com:

Main Card (Versus, 9 p.m. ET / 6 p.m. PT)
Chris Lytle (-107) vs. Dan Hardy (even)
Jim Miller (-145) vs. Ben Henderson (+145)
Charles Oliveira (-130) vs. Donald Cerrone (+130)
Amir Sadollah (-310) vs. Duane Ludwig (+273)

Preliminary Card (Facebook.com, 5:45 p.m. ET / 2:45 p.m. PT)
C.B. Dollaway (-250) vs. Jared Hamman (+222)
Joseph Benavidez (-231) vs. Eddie Wineland (+225)
Kyle Noke (-144) vs. Ed Herman (+145)
Karlos Vemola (-210) vs. Ronny Markes (+201)
Jimy Hettes (-350) vs. Alex Caceres (+313)
Cole Miller (-387) vs. T.J. O’Brien (+335)
Danny Castillo (-118) vs. Jacob Volkmann (+107)
Edwin Figueroa (-300) vs. Jason Reinhardt (+288)

Let’s get that money…

(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

Less than two months after his Fight of the Night/no-contest against Nik Lentz, Charles Oliveira will be returning to the Octagon to face Donald Cerrone in the main card of this Sunday’s UFC Live: Hardy vs. Lytle event, replacing an injured Paul Taylor. Brazilian UFC reporter Paula Sack checked in with the 21-year-old phenom during his preparations in Sao Paulo, which seem to be going pretty well. Cerrone is also coming in on a relatively short turnaround, a little over two months after his decision win over Vagner Rocha at UFC 131. Does ‘Do Bronx’ have a shot at stopping Cowboy’s four-fight win streak?

After the jump: Paula Sack’s Maxim Brazil cover, via Fightlinker.

(When Donald was finished with his country-glam-rock version of “Home Sweet Home,” there wasn’t a dry eye in the house. Mostly because the audience had all left by then. Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.)

It’s kind of a long story, but due to a series of injuries and replacements, a lightweight prelim between John Makdessi and Paul Taylor slated for UFC on Versus 5 (August 14th, Milwaukee) eventually morphed into an even more compelling matchup between lanky cowboy-hatted veteran Donald Cerrone and young submission ace Charles Oliveira. That’s the good news. The even-better news is that Cerrone vs. Oliveira has been bumped to the event’s main card due to its awesomeness.

Cerrone is on a four-fight win streak, which includes submission victories over Chris Horodecki and Paul Kelly, but caught some criticism in his last outing — a lopsided decision victory over Vagner Rocha at UFC 131 — for arguably playing it safe rather than going for a finish. Meanwhile, Oliveira’s last victory was recently overturned to a no-contest due to the fact that he set up his rear-naked choke submission against Nik Lentz with a very blatant illegal knee, which everybody in the building spotted except for the referee.

After the jump, the full lineup for UFC on Versus 5, which looks pretty damn entertaining for a free card.

Don’t tell him yet.  He just looks so happy…

Hey, just a quick follow up on that other story from UFC Live: Versus vs Spike. We told you earlier about how the Oliveira – Lentz fight ended somewhat controversially, and that we were happy to see the Pennsylvania State Athletic Commission step in and let everyone know that, yes, they saw that shit too, and they were going to sit down and watch that shit again, on tape, in a very official manner. Plus they were going to force the referee to watch that shit, on tape, in a very serious manner, and possibly whack him in the back of the head with a newspaper whenever a foul occurs on his watch.  Not really hard, just enough to get his attention.  (That last part might have been part of our own fantasy world.  Welcome; we hope you like our hats.)

We also passed along Greg Nelson’s Facebook message saying that the fight was ruled a No Contest, his boy Lentz had picked up a crisp new check for 50K for fighting like he wanted to be a fucking fighter, and all was right with the world. Nelson’s statement was premature, but the PSAC comfirmed yesterday that they had in fact reviewed the tape and consulted with the referee (meaning: “whacked him in the head with a newspaper”) and have ruled that the fight will be overturned to an NC.

Seems like you should be able to predict the fight based on the shorts alone. PicProps: MMAJunkie

It happens everytime. You write off a UFC card as uninteresting and decide to paint along with Bob Ross (or whatever it is you do with your personal time), and the fighters get wind of it and take your lack of interest personally.

They get in to the Octagon and perform stupifying acts of athleticism and heartitude, Dana White gets a huge boner at the press conference, and now you have to read recaps and watch GIFs to catch up on the action. Sucks to be you, we guess.

Frankly, you need to be making better choices in your life — you cannot paint those happy little clouds and friendly little mountains like Bob Ross — no one can. Frodog himself couldn’t even paint like that; all of Bob Ross’s shows were actually produced by Industrial Light and Magic. There, the secret is out, and we can die in peace.

For those dedicated souls that tuned in, hey wow, how about that show, huh? Like you, we had some thoughts during the fights, and unlike you, we wrote some of these thoughts down during and after the fights. Come on in and let us tell you how you’re feeling right now.

All hail Zombie Prophet!

(Photo courtesy of MMADiehards)

Considering he’s stuck in surgery this morning to repair the damage he sustained from Charles Oliveira’s questionable knee last night at UFC Live on Versus 4, at least Nik Lentz won’t be leaving Pennsylvania with a bad taste in his mouth.

According to Lentz’s “The Academy” MMA instructor Greg Nelson, the Pennsylvania Athletic Commission has ruled that the knee Oliveira connected with was indeed an illegal one as Lentz’s right knee was on the canvas.

Here’s what Nelson posted on his Facebook page late last night:

Every year, a handful of MMA fighters ascend from obscurity to contendership, from prospect status to championship gold — from nothing to something. In honor of The Warrior’s Way, which hits theaters next Friday, we’d like to salute MMA’s breakout class of 2010, whose careers exploded this year, and who are all poised for even larger accomplishments in 2011.

PHIL DAVIS

Notable 2010 victories: Brian Stann (unanimous decision, UFC 109), Alexander Gustafsson (submission R1, UFC 112), Tim Boetsch (submission R2, UFC 123)
Between his pink shorts, action-figure physique, and aggressive grappling, Mr. Wonderful has become an unmistakable figure in the UFC’s light-heavyweight division. A year ago, he was a relatively unknown 4-0 prospect trying to re-invent himself as a cage-fighter after a brilliant collegiate wrestling career at Penn State, which culminated in a 2008 NCAA title. Davis made his Octagon debut this February, and has since sent four straight opponents back to the drawing board, beginning with former WEC champ Brian Stann, and ending with a Submission of the Night performance against Tim Boetsch. Having proven himself against gritty veterans and promising rookies, we’re about to find out if Davis can keep his dominant run going against the next level of UFC contenders.

COURT McGEE

Notable 2010 victories: Kris McCray (submission R2, TUF 11 Finale), Ryan Jensen (submission R3, UFC 121)
Court McGee’s life is an object lesson in never, ever giving up, no matter how dire the circumstances. A former drug-addict who was declared clinically dead after an overdose in 2005, McGee got clean and devoted his life to MMA. His stint on The Ultimate Fighter 11 this year was almost cut short after he lost a bum decision to Nick Ring, but McGee re-entered the competition as an injury replacement, and went on to choke out James Hammortree, Brad Tavares, and Kris McCray to earn the season’s middleweight trophy. In his first post-TUF test at UFC 121, he survived getting bombed out on by Ryan Jensen in the first round, and turned the momentum around when Jensen began to fade in round two. In the end, Jensen was tapping like the rest of them, and Court McGee had secured his reputation as one of toughest (and most likable) bastards TUF has ever produced.

("Tough loss against CB." "Yeah. How’s your leg doing?"

The card for UFC 124 is filling in nicely with the addition of four fights reported by various sources today.

MMAFighting reports that Jason MacDonald will return to action following one of the most gruesome leg-break injuries in UFC history he incurred in his UFC 113 bout seven months ago in Montreal against John Salter.

MacDonald (24-14), who is on his second go-around in the UFC will be looking to make this stay in the Octagon a permanent one when he takes on Gracie jiu-jitsu black belt,  Rafael Natal (12-3) who lost by decision in his Octagon debut against Rich Attonito at UFN 22 in September.

Also on the card, according to MMAJunkie and MMADiehards will be MacDonald’s fellow Canadians Joe Doerksen and TJ Grant who will take on Dan Miller and Ricardo Almeida, respectively.

(Poor kid. He didn’t even get a chance to go on a three-fight losing streak. Photo courtesy of MMAFighting.com)

Following his submission loss to Charles Oliveira at UFC Fight Night 22, TUF 8 lightweight winner Efrain Escudero has been released from his UFC contract. Escudero confirmed the news last night via Twitter, writing "I was released by the Ufc today speaking to strikeforce and bellator. Taking a week off and make my way back!!!!!"

Escudero becomes just the second Ultimate Fighter-winner to be pink-slipped in the show’s five-and-a-half-year history; TUF 4‘s Travis Lutter got canned in April 2008. TUF winners tend to get a lot of leeway in their UFC careers — check out the spotty records of guys like Mac Danzig and Kendall Grove — but missing weight and garbage-ass performances will get you on the UFC’s bad side no matter who you are. Escudero struck out big time last week when he missed weight by an unacceptable four pounds, then lost to an up-and-comer in a fight that was entertaining despite Efrain’s best efforts to stall.

We’re sure Effy will land on his feet, and may even battle his way back to the UFC one day. But between this and Todd Duffee‘s firing two weeks ago, it seems like the UFC is becoming less interested in giving second (or third) chances to fighters who aren’t performing up to expectations.

(Props: Heavy)

The UFC handed out $40,000 performance bonuses to five fighters following UFC Fight Night: Marquardt vs. Palhares, including two separate "Submission of the Night" awards. The honorees are:

Knockout of the Night: Brian Foster, for his 67-second storming of Forrest Petz, which was the lone stoppage on the preliminary card. Petz now drops to 0-2 in his current UFC stint, and will most likely be shown the door.

Submission of the Night (1): Cole Miller, for dropping Ross Pearson with punches in the second round of their fight, then icing him with a rear-naked choke. Miller has scored the SotN award in three of his last five appearances, and officially enters the UFC Performance Bonus Leaderboard. 

Submission of the Night (2): Charles Oliveira, who pushed his record to 14-0 with a huge win over TUF 8 winner Efrain Escudero, secured via standing rear-naked choke in the third round. Though he had trouble getting Escudero to the mat in the first two frames, Oliveira showed off his tenacity in the victory, as well as some impressively unorthodox striking.

Fight of the Night: Kyle Kingsbury and Jared Hamman, for their fast-paced three-round brawl in the prelims. Despite a third-round rally from Hamman, Kingsbury’s domination and damage in the first two frames secured him 29-28 scores from all three judges.

Some other notes on the fights…

(Sometimes you forget how enormous Nate Marquardt is, and then you see him standing next to Chandella Powell and you’re like "damn, bro." / Photo courtesy of the UFN 22 Weigh In Pics gallery on CombatLifestyle.com)

What happens when you put two massively-jacked, notoriously aggressive middleweights in a cage together, one of whom is returning from a three-month suspension for his complete disregard of his opponents’ safety? Great things, we’re sure! Live play-by-play for tonight’s UFC Fight Night 22 event on Spike will be poppin’ off after the jump starting at 8 p.m. ET. Check your local listings before wading into spoilers, and refresh the page every few minutes to get all the latest results for Marquardt vs. Palhares, Efrain "El Gordo" Escudero vs. Charles Oliveira, Jim Miller vs. Gleison Tibau, and the outspoken Cole Miller vs. TUF 9 champ Ross Pearson. Be sure to stick around afterwards for the premiere of The Ultimate Fighter: Team GSP vs. Team Koscheck — or just read our episode recap tomorrow morning.

(Matt Wiman’s face-off against Shane Nelson gets heated before UFC 107. Poor, sweet Natasha. She has no idea what’s going on. / Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

Just one day after his opponent Mac Danzig fell off the card, UFC Fight Night 22 co-headliner Matt Wiman has also withdrawn from the event due to a broken arm suffered in training. The Curse of Fight Night 22 has already claimed Alan Belcher (detached retina), as well as Nick Catone (shoulder and back) and Aaron Simpson (staph). Austin-area police are currently rounding up local witches and voodoo priestesses for questioning.

Still, one man’s misfortune is another’s unbelievable opportunity. Stepping in for Wiman against Efrain Escudero will be undefeated Brazilian prospect Charles "do Bronx" Oliveira, who made his UFC debut in dramatic fashion earlier this month at Jones vs. Matyushenko, when he tapped Darren Elkins via armbar in just 41 seconds; the performance scored him the event’s Submission of the Night bonus. Another big win just a month-and-a-half later could put Oliveira on the lightweight map. Will he rise to the occasion?

(That reminds us, if you’re ever sitting next to Jon Jones on an airplane and his elbow is crowding your armrest, you’d better just let him have it. Photo courtesy of MMAFighting.com.)

— $40,000 performance bonuses were handed out to some very worthy recipients after last night’s UFC Live: Jones vs. Matyushenko event. Scoring the Knockout of the Night bonus was Takanori Gomi, who starched Tyson Griffin 64 seconds into their fight with a sledgehammer right hook. The Submission of the Night went to Charles Oliveira, who owned Darren Elkins with a masterful triangle-armbar in another dramatic quick finish during the prelims. Fight of the Night bonuses went to Brian Stann and Mike Massenzio for their unaired preliminary bout. Stann battled back from an early deficit to finish Massenzio via third-round triangle choke. It was the first submission win of Stann’s career.

— Despite his through ass-kicking of Vladimir Matyushenko, Jon Jones is doing his best to stay humble and not let his ever-growing hype influence him. As he said during the post-event press conference:

(Back from the grave: James Irvin yesterday [left], and in March [right]. Photos courtesy of CombatLifestyle)

Spoilers after the jump…

(As fighter highlight-reels go, this one’s pretty awful. But how ’bout that flying knee KO at 2:44?)

Rejoice! The UFC returns from its four-week hiatus this coming Sunday, when UFC Live: Jones vs. Matyushenko goes down at the San Diego Sports Arena. (Versus, 9 p.m. ET / 6 p.m. PT) The only newcomer on the card is Brazilian prospect Charles Oliveira, who will be putting his undefeated record on the line against Darren Elkins — who won his own UFC debut in March when Duane Ludwig’s ankle exploded. Does Charles have what it takes to make it in the big leagues? Get to know him below and let us know what you think…

CHARLES OLIVEIRA (LW)
Experience: 12-0 record (6 KO/TKOs, 5 submissions), primarily in Brazilian promotions. Last competed in a four-man tournament at a Warriors Challenge event in February, where he defeated Rosenildo Rocha by rear-naked choke and Diego Bataglia by slam-knockout. It was the third multi-fight tourney that Oliveira has won during his career. He made his pro debut in March 2008, sweeping an eight-man tournament at a Predador FC event, then cruised through a four man bracket later that year at Korea Fight 1. So fighting just one guy in a night is like a day off for him.

Will be facing: Darren Elkins (12-1, 1-0 UFC)