(Chris Leben wades through punches at UFC 116 like a drunk man on steroids. Oh. Sorry, dude. Bad choice of words. / Photo courtesy of LasVegasSun.com)

Brock Lesnar already has a date with Cain Velasquez — potentially at UFC 119 in September — but the fates of all the other winners and losers from Saturday night are still up in the air. So let’s run down a few of the notables and try to determine who they should take on next. You’re really gonna have to start paying us, Joe.

Shane Carwin: Word on the street is that the winner of Junior Dos Santos vs. Roy Nelson at UFC 117 will receive the next heavyweight title shot after Velasquez, which means the loser could be a good opponent for Carwin’s return fight. Cigano and Big Country are both skilled enough to drag Carwin into round 2, where he’ll either crumble again, or prove to everyone that cardio is not his achilles heel.

Chris Leben: He called out Wanderlei Silva following his unbelievable submission victory over Yoshihiro Akiyama, and the Axe Murderer is down with it. Seems like a no-brainer to us. Who wouldn’t want to see two of the UFC’s most beloved brawlers beat the stuffing out of each other? Dana White says he wants to have Leben fight again soon rather than have him sit out the rest of the year while Silva’s knee heals up. But after two fights in two weeks (and $100,000 in bonus money), we think Leben could use a nice vacation.

(Now who’s laughing? I mean at my MMA career, not my tattoo.)

Just a reminder that we will have the post-fight presser right here at approximately 1:00am ET.

Will Chris Leben get Submission of the Night and Wanderlei Silva as his next opponent?

Will Sotiropoulos-Pellegrino or Soszynski-Bonnar get fight of the night?

Will Gerald Harris get Knockout of the Night for his slam KO of David Branch or will Dana give it to a main card fighter?

Who is getting dropped and who is getting a title shot next?

All of these questions and more will be answered below.

(Video courtesy YouTube/Zuffa)

Brock Lesnar and Shane Carwin have really stepped up the trash talk in the week leading up to their heavyweight title clash Saturday night at UFC 116.

Prior to this point, Lesnar has been uncharacteristically sedate in his pre-fight posturing and seemed almost respectful towards Carwin during a conference call two weeks ago.

Well, apparently Brock got the itch to flip the script and went "WWE" on Shane in the above video.

"I feel no threat by him whatsoever. I don’t feel any threats by anybody."

Considering Carwin has yet to be defeated and has never fought outside of round one in any of his bouts, he may want to consider him a threat.

Cognizant that Lesnar is likely speaking out of his ass, Carwin calls him on the remark as well.

"Brock can talk all the garbage he wants for this fight. When they close that cage and I see Brock across from me, I want to tear him apart."

I know one thing: Somebody is getting hurt in this one.

("The fine print specifically says no opponents with the word "cat" in their nicknames.")

Yoshihiro Akiyama’s proclamation that he may not agree to face Chris Leben at UFC 116 made me think that maybe Japanese MMA fans are right about him when they say he has no Budo.

Now before you put on your mean mug and warm up your angry typing fingers to tell me I’m an idiot, hear me out.

(Akiyama’s next fight just went from "Beauty and the Beast" to "Beauty and the Average-Looking Guy." *You* try to sell that. / Photo courtesy of ESPN.)

If you’re heartbroken that Wanderlei Silva won’t be competing at UFC 116 next Saturday due to injury, well, Yoshihiro Akiyama feels your pain. In fact, he’s so unimpressed by the idea of Chris Leben coming in as a replacement that he doesn’t even want to fight anymore. From daum.net via BloodyElbow:

"I am not pleased with the change. There are just ten days left until the contest for me to determine [Chris Leben’s] threats and the time is insufficient to establish a tailored gameplan. Leben is also not as high-profile as [Wanderlei] Silva and that does not help me."

"If there is to be a replacement I was hoping for a big name. I spent one year preparing hard for this fight and this news has come as a big disappointment, my motivation has waned. I do not know yet what will happen…In the worst case, I will not take part in the [UFC 116] event. We are working hard to resolve this issue."

(Anyone who isn’t a fan of Wand, isn’t a fan of MMA.)

Fighters Only spoke to Wanderlei Silva last night about his painful decision to pull out of his UFC 116 bout with Yoshihiro Akiyama. "The Axe Murderer" revealed that he  had torn ligaments in his knee a few weeks ago, but said he was planning to fight with the injured joint anyway. He says that the combination of his knee injury and a trio of broken ribs he sustained while training on Friday made it impossible to continue his camp, let alone fight in a week and a half.

“I tried training more upper body and boxing; I kept losing weight and I was gonna fight no matter what. Last Friday, during sparring, I injured my rib. It was very painful and the next day I had an x-ray and an MRI. I discovered I had three broken ribs.

(Photo courtesy of MMAFighting.com)

The UFC paid out $506,000 in disclosed salaries and bonuses for Saturday night’s Ultimate Fighter 11 Finale event, with longtime Octagon veterans Chris Leben and Keith Jardine taking home the biggest checks. The complete payout list is below; keep in mind that the numbers don’t include additional income from sponsorships and undisclosed "locker room bonuses," or deductions for taxes, insurance, licensing fees, and antibiotics.

Court McGee: $41,000 (includes $8,000 win bonus, $25,000 Submission of the Night bonus)
def. Kris McCray: $8,000

Matt Hamill: $77,000 (includes $26,000 win bonus, $25,000 Fight of the Night bonus)
def. Keith Jardine: $80,000 (includes $25,000 Fight of the Night bonus)

Chris Leben: $95,000 (includes $35,000 win bonus, $25,000 Knockout of the Night bonus)
def. Aaron Simpson: $13,000

(Keith "Necro Reaper" Jardine, after his barbed-wire and fluorescent-light-tube death-match against Matt "Da Def Syco" Hamill. / Photo courtesy of the TUF 11 Finale gallery on MMAFighting.com)

Because you pansies get all red-faced when the Potato Index skips an event, we’ve brought back the beloved arbitrary numerical ranking system for a special two-fer installment. As for the recent complaints that the Potato Index’s scores have gotten less arbitrary, we have passed the feedback onto the Index and hope that the scores are now sufficiently chaotic while still maintaining their accuracy and integrity…

Court McGee +518
Going from pantsless meth addict to Ultimate Fighter winner? Yeah, we’d call that an upgrade. But Court McGee is more than just an inspirational story. With his endless heart and skill with a choke-hold, he’s a legitimately valuable acquisition for the UFC. If they bring him along slowly, he could become a factor in the middleweight division someday.

Kris McCray -33.333 [repeating]
Sometimes, tough ain’t enough. McCray may be a little too green to compete at the UFC level, but as a season runner-up, he deserves one more fight — ideally, against one of the TUF guys that scored victories on Saturday, like Chris Camozzi or Rich Attonito.

("The best part is, stick this baby in the freezer and it’ll keep your drinks cold on a hot summer day." PicProps: UFC.com)

Matt Hamill fought and defeated Keith Jardine on Saturday night with a staph infection he didn’t know he had as well as a broken hand suffered early in the fight round and blurred vision from getting poked in the eye during the second, according to statements made at the "TUF 11" Finale post-fight press conference. That makes it a bit more noteworthy that their three-round battle rightfully claimed “Fight of the Night” honors.

“I thought I was going to be blind and deaf. Enough handicaps,” Hamill joked at the press conference about getting a thumb in the eye that caused Jardine to lose a point in the second stanza. Any laughter caused by that comment could probably best be described as “uneasy.”

Other post-fight bonuses – each amounting to $25,000 – went to Chris Leben for his come-from-behind knockout of Aaron Simpson and Court McGee for choking out Kris McCray in the “TUF” championship.  As for the infection – which caused the nasty-looking  lesion on his back you may have noticed during the broadcast – Hamill said he planned to get started with some antibiotics ASAP. Yeah, you might want to get on that. After the jump, a picture of Hamill’s foulness.

(Props: MMA Mania)

Michael Bisping is less than two weeks away from what could either be his greatest triumph or his ugliest beatdown — a match against legendary fighter Wanderlei Silva at UFC 110 (February 20th; Sydney, Australia). The latest installment of Bisping’s video blog shows him handling the usual press obligations and keeping sharp at the Wolfslair in preparation for the battle. Skip to 4:06 for a rare sighting of Rampage Jackson outside of a movie set. As for Bisping’s expectations for the Silva fight, the Count recently wrote that Wandy reminds him of another old rival:

Has Wanderlei Silva fallen so far that one could realistically describe him as a more-explosive Chris Leben? Damn, that’s a depressing thought. Silva has lost five of his last six fights, with his only win coming against Keith Jardine in May 2008 — but the guys that have beaten him were all legends and former champions. If the Axe Murderer loses this one, there will no longer be any doubt that the game has passed him by. Will he smash the Brit and redeem himself, or are we about to see Wandy’s last stand? Your thoughts, please.

#10: Anderson Silva vs. Chris Leben, UFC Fight Night 5 (6/28/06)

If you didn’t follow his pre-UFC career, you probably figured that Anderson Silva’s Octagon debut would be relatively competitive. Chris Leben was a dangerous brawler who had won five straight in the Octagon against solid competition, while Silva was…some sort of Brazilian from Japan, I guess? In actuality, the Spider was quickly becoming the most lethal striker in the business, and had spent the previous two years brutalizing guys like Lee Murray, Jorge Rivera, and Tony Fryklund as the middleweight champion of Cage Rage. So all that stuff the Crippler said about pressing the action against Silva, rough-neckin’ him, throwing him around, blasting him in the face, breaking his jaw, then sending him back to Japan where the competition’s a little easier? Oh my God, player. He might as well have been talking about how he was bringing the karate aspect back into jiu-jitsu — that’s how out of touch with reality he seemed, in retrospect.

Chances are, you’ve watched this clip a hundred times by now, so you know what happens next: Anderson Silva makes his name in the U.S. with one of the most flawless victories in MMA history and earns an immediate title shot against Rich Franklin, while Leben begins his slow drift out of relevance. And these days, all of Silva’s fights look like mismatches.

#9: Fedor Emelianenko vs. Zuluzinho, PRIDE Shockwave 2005 (12/31/05)

It was a classic matchup of skill vs. morbid obesity. The comically large son of legendary Brazilian scrapper Rei Zulu, Wagner da Conceicao Martins (aka "Zuluzinho") managed to build up a sizable undefeated record in vale tudo matches before joining PRIDE in 2005, where he mauled sumo wrestler Henry "Sentoryu" Miller in his debut. But things like size, pedigree, and professional record mean very little when you’re fighting Fedor Emelianenko. To the untouchable PRIDE heavyweight champion, Zuluzinho was nothing more than a giant punching bag.

In just 26 seconds, Fedor put ‘Zinho on his ass with an inhumanly fast left hook, abused him on the ground a bit, knocked him back down with a right as soon as the giant got to his feet, then went into beastmode until Zuluzinho tapped from the onslaught. This fight proved once and for all that "big and slow" is not the best combination for beating Fedor. If only Hong-Man Choi and Tim Sylvia got the message in time.

(Gray Maynard discusses his fight against Nate Diaz, and the prospects of a future title shot against BJ Penn. Props: Sherdog.)

Since we only got to see the four main card fights on last night’s UFC Fight Night 20 broadcast, here’s a recap of the prelims…

– Chris Leben def. Jay Silva via unanimous decision (30-27 x 3)
– Rick Story def. Jesse Lennox via split decision (30-27 x 2, 28-29. Due to a scoring error, the bout was initially declared a majority draw.)
– Thiago Tavares and Nik Lentz fought to a majority draw (29-27 Lentz, 28-28 x 2. Tavares was deducted a point for low blows.)
– Rory MacDonald def. Mike Guymon via submission (armbar), 4:27 of round 1
– Rafael dos Anjos def. Kyle Bradley via unanimous decision (30-27 x 3)
– Gerald Harris def. John Salter via TKO (strikes), 3:24 of round 3
– Nick Catone def. Jesse Forbes via split decision (28-29, 29-28 x 2)

For scoring the night’s only stoppage via strikes, Gerald Harris pocketed a $30,000 Knockout of the Night bonus. Evan Dunham picked up the $30,000 Submission of the Night bonus for his horrible-looking armbar on Efrain Escudero (don’t worry, Effy’s fine). $30k Fight of the Night bumps went to Tom Lawlor and Aaron Simpson for their memorable three-round battle, which saw Simpson get battered half to death in the first round before edging out Lawlor in rounds two and three (according to two judges, at least).

(Props: The Sun)

The UFC is reportedly making its first visit to Virginia for UFC Fight Night 20 (January 11th; Fairfax), and the lineup is starting to come together. Here’s what we’re hearing:

— Josh Koscheck (13-4), fresh off his first-round TKO over Frank Trigg at UFC 103, will be taking on Mike Pierce (9-1), who most recently scored a big upset over Brock Larson in his Octagon debut at UFC Fight Night 19. Koscheck is under the impression that he’ll be getting Georges St. Pierre soon, though he’s probably still in line after his teammate Mike Swick.

— TUF 8 winner Efrain Escudero (12-0) and Nik Lentz (17-3-1) have agreed to meet each other in a lightweight bout. Escudero’s last win was a first-round TKO over Cole Miller at UFC 103, while Lentz defeated Rafaello Oliveira by decision at the same event. Not exactly a step up the ladder for Escudero, but the UFC has a way of building up their TUF winners slowly.

(Better get the next ice-pack ready. Photo courtesy of Yardbarker.)

Alright, let’s get to it…

— After an injury forced Josh Thomson to drop out of his Strikeforce rematch with Gilbert Melendez, a replacement has reportedly been found, according to The Fight Network. Taking on Melendez at Saturday’s "Shamrock vs. Diaz" event will be Rodrigo Damm, an 8-2 veteran of Bodog Fight and Sengoku. Damm hasn’t competed since last August, when he was choked out by Eiji Mitsuoka at Sengoku Fourth Battle.

— Winless since his WEC debut against Cub Swanson in December 2007, Jens Pulver will be given another chance to score a victory at WEC 41 (June 7th, Sacramento). Lil’ Evil will be facing 20-year-old up-and-comer Josh "The Fluke" Grispi (12-1), who has gone 2-0 in the WEC with first-round stoppages over Mark Hominick and Micah Miller. WEC 41 will be headlined by the rematch between Urijah Faber and Mike Brown.

— TUF 7 winner Amir Sadollah has an opponent for his much-delayed return at UFC 101 (August 8th, Philadelphia). MMA Weekly confirms that Sadollah’s welterweight debut will come against Johny Hendricks, a 5-0 transfer from the WEC’s defunct 170-pound division who won a unanimous decision over Alex Serdyukov at WEC 39 last month. Also on the card will be another welterweight bout between Tamdan McCrory (who’s coming off a submission victory over Ryan Madigan at UFC 96 in March) and John Howard (who most recently won a Fight of the Night bonus for his split-decision victory over Chris Wilson at UFC 94 in January). UFC 101 will be headlined by the lightweight title scrap between BJ Penn and Kenny Florian.

Damn, is it Friday already? Well, you know what time it is. (No, not peanut butter jelly time.) It’s time to give away some t-shirts to some of our LOLiest commenters. This week’s winners:

Dangada Dang on "Michael Bisping Voted the Coolest Bloke in the U.K.":
Bisping makes a good point as the last person to get him on the ground was Abu Dhabi world champion Chris Leben.

Old, Bald and Irish on "No Ortiz Announcement at Today’s Presser":
All this "Affliction: DEATHWATCH (TM)" is making me nuts. Ya know when you see something horrible happen, like a car crash, and everything is in slow motion? That’s what following Affliction is like. Except, you’ve already seen the crash and you can’t peel your eyes away from the slo-mo sight of the mangled girls body ejecting through the front windshield as her $95 Affliction t-shirt gets sheared away from her skinless naked body as it sloooooowly rips on the broken glass while her pulverized bloody carcass gets forcefully expelled from the flaming vehicle.

Kinda like that…

…except Fedor is standing there on a street corner witnessing the whole thing with an emotionless expression on his face and an ice cream cone in each hand.
[Ed. note: Suck on that, Kadumel!]

milo bling on "Randy Couture Joins Cast of Stallone’s ‘The Expendables’":
if someone invited me to see this, i wouldn’t show up. but i guess it wouldn’t really matter.
[Ed. note: You had to be there.]

If you’ve been shouted out, please send your name, address, and size to feedback@cagepotato.com to claim your CagePotato Hall of Fame t-shirt. Fuuuuuuuun!

(“Braaaiiins!” Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

Michael Bisping, quoted in Setanta Sports:

“I have to admit I was disappointed when I heard. You know, when all’s said and done, I like Chris Leben. He conducted himself well before and after the fight and, as I say, I like the guy. I’m a little disappointed that he’s done what he’s done, bringing the sport into disrepute, but it’s not really my place to have an opinion on it.

The UFC, as they always do, have set the example with the punishment — and they’re right to do that. Should he banned for life? I don’t think so, people make mistakes, people learn from mistakes. Plenty of fighters have recovered after testing positive, the standard is set at nine months and it would be unfair to go any harsher on Chris…

I don’t know if it makes my win any better, you can make a case for it because — without wanting to start slinging mud — he did cheat and I didn’t. I don’t know why he did it or if he knew he was doing it, but I know my performance was purely down to blood, sweat and tears — and that’s all the satisfaction I need.”

If nothing else, this has to be good for Bisping’s confidence; even a juiced Chris Leben could barely put a mark on the Count’s face. If his next opponent does turn out to be Dan Henderson, he’ll need that confidence and then some. Meanwhile, Leben will have to find an even higher power to trust in if he plans on rescuing his career after his nine-month time-out comes to an end.

(Epic fail, this time of the drug test variety.)

Remember the story heading into UFC 89 about how Chris Leben had matured and kicked the booze and turned his life around? Forget that, because his life has just turned back around with the word today that Leben tested positive for steroids after his bout with Michael Bisping in England last month.

Leben popped positive for Stanozolol and has been suspended for nine months by the UFC and fined one-third of his fight purse. To make things worse, there’s not even any athletic commission-mandated testing in England, so it was the UFC’s own internal testing system that caught him. At least Leben isn’t playing innocent. He apparently admitted using the drug, but told Dana White he thought it would be out of his system in time for the test. So, you know, that makes it okay, right?

Leben’s official mea culpa:

“I’ve really done everything I can to turn my life around,” said Leben.

“And this is a huge setback for me. But it’s something I will have to deal with. During my time off from fighting, I want to speak to kids about the dangers of using performance enhancing agents and let them know it just doesn’t get you ahead in life. Of course, this is a hard hit for me monetarily, but more so this is embarrassing for me and for all my fans.”

Jesus, he’s already doing the ‘I want to talk to kids’ thing? The fight was just a few weeks ago. What idiot publicist fed him that painfully transparent line? Just for perspective on this, let’s recap Leben’s recent career decisions:

(Carwin looked impressive, but how about a tough opponent next?)

You’re wondering who’s up and who’s down after UFC 89. The Potato Index’s system of arbitrary numbers devoid of any unit of measurement will tell you. It’s kind of like the stock market, only less depressing. We spent all weekend doing the math and here’s what we came up with. You’re welcome.

Michael Bisping +16

“The Count” won a fight he was supposed to win. Via decision. He never took any chances, didn’t show anything extra special, but he fought smart and he got the win. As a reward, he gets the TUF coaching job and the fight with the Hendo/Ace winner that was already his anyway. At least he didn’t screw it up.

Brandon Vera -132

Once upon a time Vera was the heir apparent in the heavyweight division. Now he’s a mediocre light heavyweight who doesn’t even put on much of a show anymore. What happened? He’s no longer exciting or effective, and he’s far too conservative. He’s making too much money to be doing so little.

Chris Leben -8 1/2

Leben chased Michael Bisping for three rounds and only got a little frustrated and reckless toward the end. A sign of his maturity? Sure, but also a sign that middleweight gatekeeper is about as high as he can hope to climb. He’s still exciting, so he’s not going anywhere. He also won’t be back in the main event any time soon.

Joe Rogan’s tribute beard +18

Sounded a little hokey at first, but it turns out that facial hair can be an effective homage to a fallen champion.

Luis Cane +284

The biggest win of Cane’s career, by far, and one that should get him noticed by the UFC brass. We called his record padded before, but he added some meat to it on Saturday night.

(Lytle vs. Taylor)

The UFC released its customary end-of-night bonuses for yesterday’s event in Birmingham. $40,000 bumps went to the following fighters:

Fight of the Night: Chris Lytle and Paul Taylor for their three-round throwdown, which was even brawlier than the main event.

Knockout of the Night: Luis Cane for his TKO-via-punches victory over Rameau Thierry Sokoudjou.

Submission of the Night: As Fowlkes predicted, Jim Miller gets it for tapping David Baron via Millerplata — which is just a fancy name for a rear-naked-choke.

More vids after the jump…

(Gono brings some much needed style to the weigh-ins. Photo courtesy of MMA Weekly.)

Despite the best attempts of some jerks to ruin the results of tonight’s tape-delayed event, those of you who have managed to remain willfully ignorant will get to see it all unfold without the curse of omniscience that makes God’s days so utterly boring. Those of you who have had the outcome spoiled for you already, you’ll just get to see some fights. I’ve spent all afternoon trying to make sense of Michael Bisping’s video blog (turns out “geezer” means something different in England) and getting myself all riled up on coffee and booze, so I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.

Let’s turn on some Spike TV, see the same video game ads over and over again, down some frosty beverages, and watch some fights. Just thank your lucky stars it’s free. Remember to refresh the page every so often. Giddyup.

Michael Bisping’s UFC 89 Vlog – Watch more free videos

Here’s Michael Bisping‘s UFC 89 video blog from yesterday, following him through the weigh-ins and the aftermath. Since much of this video is just Bisping sitting around and talking with his British friends, I understood very little of what was going on. Still it seems interesting that Bisping does his own video blog for this event, is basically the impetus for the whole card and its location, and has already been named as the next TUF coach regardless of his performance tonight.

At least one fighter thinks all the attention is undeserved. In Sherdog’s “pros pick” article for this fight, Clay Guida not only sides with Chris Leben but calls Bisping “the most overrated TUF winner in UFC history.” Daaaaaamn!

(Damn it feels good to be a gangsta.)

I’ve always assumed that the worlds of professional fighting and organized crime came into contact more often than we know. I’ve also assumed that if you’re involved in either industry, it’s probably better not to talk about that contact. But Dana White, being the UFC president and the producer of an upcoming Spike TV Irish mob drama, is just putting it in the streets anyway.

Fighters Only quotes White as blaming the Yakuza for Zuffa’s inability to do anything with Pride. This is no big shock, since the Japanese mafia’s involvement with Pride was rumored to be a big part of their downfall. It is a little surprising that White is so willing to talk about it, however, and apparently it’s not just Japan where the mob is an issue:

The UFC has also long had its eye on staging events in Mexico because, as White puts it, “when we first bought this company, we said there are three no-brainers: the US, Mexico and the UK. They are big fight countries.”

However, what he terms “The Mexican initiative” is taking “a lot longer than we though it would, basically because five families control all of Mexico”.

“A lot of these places are tough, you just have to work your way around it. The corruption in Japan, the way things are in Mexico, you know? In every country you go to there are different ways of doing business.”

Ain’t that the truth. Friend of mine went to the Netherlands over the summer, my hand to God, they sell marijuana over there. Like legally, in coffee shops and stuff. This crazy world, am I right?

Dana White must be in a talkative mood these days, because he also let it slip to Fighters Only that no matter what happens tomorrow night, Michael Bisping will be coaching on the next season of The Ultimate Fighter, as we suspected.

(Props to MMA Mania)

We like to rag on fuckups like Junie Browning and Jesse Taylor for their ridiculous drunken antics, lack of impulse control, and apparent urge to piss away every chance that’s given to them in an endless quest toward self-destruction. But in general, being a violent, alcoholic jackass is a result of some kind of unresolved psychic torment that booze temporarily erases. Monday’s UFC 89 Countdown: Bisping vs. Leben special detailed the upbringing of TUF‘s original hard-drinking hothead, Chris Leben. It seems that everybody in Chris’s family was a drinker, from the father who abandoned him to the mother who tried to support him and his two siblings with her bartending job — and the lack of supervision, stability, and positive role models through his childhood didn’t exactly shape him into the world’s most balanced person.

Other things we learn about Chris Leben in this video: He couldn’t read or write when he graduated high school. He went AWOL from the Army after being convinced by a recruiter — falsely, it turned out — that he could enlist just to be on their wrestling team. Losing to Anderson Silva sent him on a two-week bender. Excluding boot camp and jail, he’d never been sober for more than a week or two straight since he was 13, but at the time of Leben’s interview for the special, he was 89 days sober. And finally, he ain’t goin’ all the way to England to lose.

(Leben fits Bisping for a right hook. Photo courtesy of MMA Weekly.)

The weigh-ins for UFC 89 went off without a hitch today. Everyone hit their target weight, or at least fell within the one-pound allowance of it, and nobody had to strip naked while their dad held a towel in front of them. There was a terse exchange between the main eventers, with Chris Leben offering an apology in advance to the British fans, and Michael Bisping getting all Rodney Dangerfield about Leben showing him no respect:

Said Leben:

“I’m sorry for coming over and ruining your guys’ big hope and dream. I know you love him, but I didn’t come all this way to lose. One of us will take a step back and the other a step forward; there isn’t too many ahead of us now.”

Replied Bisping:

“You’re right, one forward and one down. I am moving forward. You underestimate me and I think that is a mistake. May the best man win and I will see you tomorrow night.”

As weigh-in disagreements go, that’s downright gentlemanly. Guess that’s what you get in jolly old England. Full scale-tipping results are after the jump:

With one day to go before UFC 89 (which we’ll be liveblogging, naturally), it’s time for everyone’s favorite self-indulgent exercise: Ben versus Ben. This time around we argue bonuses, the UK-centric undercard, and the mysterious/as-of-yet fictional Millerplata, among other stuff.

How exactly will Bisping/Leben end?

Fowlkes: As much as we’ve heard about Leben’s transformation from immature brawler to well-rounded tactician, a part of me (the part located in the brain region) isn’t totally buying it. Leben may be a more seasoned fighter, but he still knows one way to win a fight when things get hectic and it’s throwing big, looping bombs and hoping one catches his opponent on the chin.

This has worked at times. He hits hard and he can take enough punishment to make that strategy effective. But as strategies go, it’s relatively easy to prepare for, especially for a more cerebral fighter like Bisping. “The Count” is smart enough to avoid a street fight with Leben. He’ll accumulate points and damage but won’t dive in for the illusion of a quick finish, and this will frustrate Leben.

Leben knows he doesn’t want to go to a decision against a Brit in Britain, so the closer to the final horn he gets the more desperate he will become. This is where Bisping will find an opening, drop him with a straight shot, then pour on some ground-and-pound that looks worse than it is, causing the referee to stop it at 4:02 of round three. And Leben is going to be pissed.

Goldstein: I concur. Bisping is a more talented, complete fighter than Leben, and this business about the Crippler maturing is more manufactured narrative than reality. But I don’t think it’ll take Bisping until the third frame to get the stoppage win. As a middleweight, his kickboxing has looked razor-sharp — his last two opponents didn’t make it to the second bell — and his ground capabilities are underrated in general.

The headliners will give the crowd what they paid for in round one, slugging it out like a couple of drunken soccer hooligans, and Bisping will go about finishing the fight in round two, engaging the killer instinct that we’ve seen from him lately. If Leben starts to land more shots in that second round, I wouldn’t be surprised to see Bisping clinch with Leben, bully him to the ground and finish him from the top. Either way, it’ll be a stoppage due to strikes at exactly the 4:15 mark of round two.

Who will win the Vera/Jardine and Sokoudjou/Cane fights?

(Bisping realizes how overdressed he is for the occasion. Click the image to watch the video on UFC.com.)

UFC.com just put up a video of a UFC 89 press-conference held earlier today in Birmingham, England, where Chris Leben did his best to add heat to the main event fight by complimenting Michael Bisping’s suit and criticizing the Count’s style as one that makes self-preservation the top priority. Bisping kept his cool, saying he doesn’t need extra motivation to beat Leben: “I don’t have to do anything to get myself fired up…I don’t need any kind of smack talk, I don’t need any kind of reason to hate the person. To me it’s all about business…by winning my fights, it enables me to provide the lifestyle I want for my family, and that’s all the motivation I need.” Anyway, the fans were expecting Leben to come at them with a crazy new hairstyle for this fight, and you can’t say that he didn’t deliver. WAR ‘ROWS.

(Bisping challenges another poor bloke to high-stakes Rock, Paper, Scissors.)

As our collective faith in the health of the economy deteriorates, the online gambling market is looking better and better. The more I think about it, the more I’m surprised it didn’t come up in last night’s debates. But once again neither candidate speaks to my issues. Looks like this is one more election year where I’ll end up scrawling “Wanderlei” in crayon across my ballot and then handing it to the overweight woman at the desk, who will inevitably respond by insisting that “this is not a polling place.” Goddamn bureaucracy.

Anyway, if you’re like me and are ready to bet your foreclosed home on UFC 89 this Saturday, here are the sweetest lines around, courtesy of BestFightOdds.com. If you don’t understand how betting odds work, read this. If you still don’t get it, stop sniffing glue.

Chris Leben (+191) vs. Michael Bisping (-211)
Luiz Cane (+104) vs. Rameau Thierry Sokoudjou (-114)
Dan Hardy (+285) vs. Akihiro Gono (-308)
Neil Wann (+600) vs. Shane Carwin (-675)
Keith Jardine (+155) vs. Brandon Vera (-165)
Jess Liaudin (+141) vs. David Bielkheden (-135)
Marcus Davis (+230) vs. Paul Kelly (+285)
Paul Taylor (+300) vs. Chris Lytle (-328)
Samy Schiavo (+166) vs. Per Eklund (-180)
Terry Etim (+275) vs. Sam Stout (-291)
David Baron (+155) vs. Jim Miller (-172)

Thoughts…

With Dana White skipping out on his vlogging duties for UFC 89, someone had to step up and fill the void. This time it’s Michael Bisping giving us a look at his life in the days leading up to his main event bout against Chris Leben. Bisping starts this video by saying he needs ice because there’s something wrong with his back — which isn’t very confidence-inducing — but he soldiers through a day of press and an open workout, taking time to hang with fans in between. Later, Cheick Kongo shows up to speak in a strange voice, and Bisping has to go without hot dogs and cookies because he still has eight pounds to lose. At the end, he tells us how he just saw Chris Leben in the lobby of his hotel, and he looked slimmer than usual, but still has a large head. To see previous installments of the Bisping video blog, go to Bisping.tv.

In the official UFC 89 hype video we continue to hear about Chris Leben‘s transformation as a fighter, which has quickly become one of the main storylines heading into this event. Oddly, with all the talk about Leben’s transition from brawler to technically sound MMA fighter, whenever anyone talks about his strengths they inevitably end up talking mostly about the characteristics of a brawler (hard-hitting, looping punches, good chin, etc.) while ascribing to Michael Bisping the characteristics of a technical fighter (straight punches, apparently, which is laughable to Chris Wilson). Not saying Leben isn’t a different fighter these days, just saying the whole thing is interesting.

Anyway, give it a look and you won’t be disappointed. Despite burning through all the stock footage of British landmarks in existence, it’s another solid effort from the Countdown crew.

(The people’s philosopher.)

When it comes to getting drunk and going crazy on The Ultimate Fighter, Chris Leben is sort of like the Neil Armstrong of the field. He did it first, when no one even knew whether it could be done, and so forever after people wanted to know what his thoughts were when other people did it. The difference is that while Armstrong stayed pretty involved and interested in the space program (God, this is a terrible analogy), Leben says he doesn’t really keep up with new installments of TUF. Which is why he might be forgiven for getting a little frustrated when asked about Junie Browning’s drunken freakouts during a media conference call to promote UFC 89:

You know, every time someone gets drunk on that show I get called by one of my friends who says, ‘You know, this guy reminds me of you. He was drunk and out of hand.’ You know, a house full of fighters…I got a saying, fighters are like strippers, they ain’t paying their way through college. What I mean by that is we all got a bunch of problems and skeletons in the closet.

Here’s my question: does Chris Leben have any sayings that don’t involve strippers? This is the same guy who, during the first season, coined the phrase, “I’ll come in smelling like booze and dirty strippers and still put the stamp on kids!”

Not that it wasn’t awesome, and not that his stripper/fighter analogy isn’t many times better than my Leben/Armstrong analogy, but dammit, comparing fighters and strippers seems like it isn’t doing either group too many favors.