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Tag: Chris Weidman

The Greatest Erotic MMA Fan Fiction of All Time


(Come up with your own caption, perverts. / Photo via Getty)

UFC Fight Night 56 happened last night and it was pretty boring. During the lull in action, we wondered if there was a prominent MMA fan fiction scene. It turns out there was! The only drawback: A vast majority of the stories featured prominent fighters having sex with other prominent fighters.

We’re not really sure how to say this with our characteristic irreverent tone, so we’re just going to flat out say it: There’s a shit load of MMA slash fic out there. We found it. It’s…well, you need to see for yourself. We don’t like to exaggerate in the headlines but this stuff is far out.

Please don’t construe this as us trying to insult the author. We’re the guys who watch Ultimate Surrender, so we can’t judge how anyone gets their rocks off. We just thought these stories were kind of funny. We think it’s great someone is passionate enough about MMA to write this kind of stuff, honestly. Here are some excerpts from the more wild stories:

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Chris Weidman vs. Vitor Belfort, Ronda Rousey vs. Cat Zingano Confirmed for UFC 184 on Feb. 28th


(Surprisingly decent photoshop job via the MMAJunkie forums)

As confirmed earlier today by UFC president Dana White, Chris Weidman vs. Vitor Belfort will indeed headline UFC 184, February 28th at the Staples Center in Los Angeles. The date and location for the middleweight title fight has been rumored since last week, and Belfort let the cat out of the bag this afternoon.

White also announced that Ronda Rousey vs. Cat Zingano will now serve as the co-main event for UFC 184. The bantamweight title bout was originally slated as the co-main event for UFC 182: Jones vs. Cormier on January 3rd, but has been bumped back nearly two months for undisclosed reasons. Instead, the lightweight scrap between Donald Cerrone and Myles Jury has been confirmed as the UFC 182 co-main event.

UFC 184 will be the third time that a Ronda Rousey fight has supported a Chris Weidman main event on pay-per-view — following UFC 168: Weidman vs. Silva 2 in December 2013 and UFC 175: Weidman vs. Machida in July. It’s been a winning strategy so far, and we don’t expect that to change in February.

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Great Job, Nevada!: Vitor Belfort Has Been Drug Tested Exactly Zero Times Since Being Re-Licensed by NSAC


(Well, the visual evidence is definitely on Belfort’s side.)

Back in July, UFC middleweight Vitor Belfort went before the Nevada State Athletic Commission to answer for his failed drug test for elevated testosterone in February. It went pretty well, which is completely unsurprising since a big-money fight against Chris Weidman hung in the balance. Belfort was given a conditional license, and his title challenge against Weidman was immediately booked for December 6th in Las Vegas.

But NSAC commissioner Anthony Marnell left Belfort with this dire warning: “[W]e’re going to drug test you to the day you retire…We, in my opinion, should be in and around your career until the day you call it quits.”

Hell yeah! Nevada is gonna be up in them guts, son! [Ed. note: Gross.]

Except, no, not really. The truth is, Belfort hasn’t been drug-tested at all (!) since July 23rd, and the NSAC has no intention of testing him before his fight against Weidman, since that fight will now likely take place in California in late February at UFC 184. MMAFighting’s Ariel Helwani breaks it:

On Wednesday, MMAFighting.com spoke to NAC executive director Bob Bennett, who said he currently has no plans in place to randomly test Belfort because the UFC recently informed the commission that the Weidman vs. Belfort fight would probably take place in California next year. (Note: the UFC has yet to publicly announce the official date and location of the title fight, however, UFC president Dana White recently said it would happen in February.) Bennett also said the commission had yet to test Belfort, despite the fact that the title fight was official for two months before Weidman had to pull out. Weidman confirmed he had not been tested, as well.

Bennett was confident that California State Athletic Commission executive officer Andy Foster “will spearhead” the Belfort testing, if the fight does in fact end up in California.

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Chris Weidman Saves 92-Year Old Neighbor’s Life, Seems Pretty Chill About It [UPDATED]

Move over Good Guy Dos Santos, there’s a newer, gooder samaritan in town and his name’s Chris Weidman. As in current middleweight champ, Jewelry Gallery of Oyster Bay spokesperson, and slayer of the GOAT (2x) Chris Weidman.

You see, Weidman was just hanging out in his Long Island home this morning, likely discussing deli meats and the traffic assjam on the 111 with Matt Serra, when his 92-year old neighbor stumbled out of her home, covered in blood and in desperate need of help. While most New Yorkers would have told the old bird to fack off before diving back into their pastrami on rye with dijon mustard (I missed lunch today), Weidman actually decided to do something about it. His wife detailed the incident on Instagram:

Shout out to this man @chrisweidmanufc who just saved our 92 year old neighbors life. She fell onto a glass table and had pieces stuck in her head. She was in her driveway bleeding out in the rain trying to call her daughter on the phone. Chris ran over and brought her inside, cleaned her up and called 911. #myhero

Wow, what a guy. I fully expect Weidman to be repaid for his act of heroism in the form of another life-destroying hurricane, because bad things only happen to good people. There is no God, is what I’m trying to say.

(I really need to eat something.)

[UPDATE]

After the jump: Weidman recounts the crazy story to MMAFighting.

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Chris Weidman Out of Vitor Belfort Fight With Fractured Hand, Lawler vs. Hendricks II Now Headlines UFC 181


(“That’s it, we gotta ban skateboards too!” — Dana White tomorrow)

First, the bad news: Chris Weidman has been forced to pull out from his UFC 181-scheduled bout with Vitor Belfort due to injury. As first reported by Ariel Helwani and confirmed by Dana White shortly thereafter, Weidman suffered a hairline fracture in his hand while sparring, which will require between 4-6 weeks to heal. The Belfort fight has been moved to an unknown date in February.

And now, the good: Replacing Weidman vs. Belfort in the main event slot of UFC 181 will be the highly-anticipated welterweight title rematch between champion Johny Hendricks and Robbie Lawler.

“Bigg Rigg” and “Ruthless” first met at UFC 171 to fight for the welterweight title vacated by Georges St. Pierre. The hard fought, back-and-forth contest saw Hendricks emerge victorious by unanimous decision but also suffer a torn bicep and fractured shin that has kept him out of action since. Lawler, meanwhile, has notched victories over Jake Ellenberger and Matt Brown to earn another shot at Hendricks.

The lightweight title fight between TUF 20 coaches Anthony Pettis and Gilbert Melendez will remain in the co-main event slot of UFC 181 for now, so all things considered, this could’ve been much, much worse. We’ll keep you updated on Weidman’s injury as information is made available, but breathe easy for now, Nation. Breathe easy.

-J. Jones

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Vitor Belfort Breezes Through NSAC Licensing Hearing, Will Face Chris Weidman at UFC 181 in Las Vegas



(Yes, it was broadcast on Fight Pass. No, Rogan and Goldie weren’t calling the action, although that would have been amazing. / Screencap via UFC Fight Pass on Twitter)

In retrospect, we should have known better to expect the Nevada State Athletic Commission to crack down on Vitor Belfort. Too much money was on the line.

Belfort appeared at an NSAC licensing hearing today, in the wake of his positive test for elevated testosterone in February. It was the second time that Belfort has failed a drug test in Nevada, following a steroid bust in 2006. And yet, Belfort cruised through the proceedings, walking away with a conditional license that would keep him sidelined until December and require him to undergo random blood and urine testing at his own expense. The commission’s decision to re-license Belfort was unanimous.

Directly after Belfort’s license was secure, the UFC announced that the Brazilian veteran would fight Chris Weidman in a middleweight title fight at UFC 181, December 6th in Las Vegas.

Belfort was humble and cooperative during today’s hearing, throwing himself at the mercy of the commission, but his version of events were never challenged. Here’s an excerpt from MMAJunkie’s report that suggests how toothless the NSAC’s hearing was:

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CagePotato Ban: Calling For “Superfights” That Are Anything But


(Horrendous photoshop or future UFC poster? The answer may surprise you…)

By Jared Jones

Johny Hendricks has not fought since narrowly defeating Robbie Lawler to earn the welterweight title back at UFC 171. Chris Weidman has defended his middleweight title all of two times, via a broken leg TKO of Anderson Silva and a recent UD win over Lyoto Machida. That neither man has even come close to cleaning out their division has not deterred certain members of the MMA media, however, from proposing the idea of a “superfight” between the two at every possible opportunity.

To his credit, Dana White has rightfully shot down the notion of a Hendricks-Weidman superfight, stating on Inside MMA that ”[Hendricks is] in a very nasty division packed with talent from No. 1 to No. 13. You have a lot of housework to do before you clean out the division and talk about Chris Weidman.”

Yeah, but what about Hendricks vs. Norris?

Weidman has expressed a similar disinterest:

I don’t even think that I’d entertain that. Not that he’s not good or anything like that, but it just doesn’t make any sense to talk about it now. [Hendricks] hasn’t defended his belt yet, and I have more people to fight in my weight class. On top of that, I would never call out a guy who’s smaller than me. I’m a lot bigger than him, I think. I know he walks around heavy but I’d feel like I’d have a huge advantage in that fight, so I’m not calling him out.

And thank science for that. Now if only we can finish this interview without entertaining another ridiculously premature superfight question…

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UFC 175 Proves the UFC Can Still Be the “Super Bowl of MMA” When It Wants To Be


(Two of the best fighters on earth about to enter unarmed combat. / Photo via Getty)

By Matt Saccaro

Oversaturation. Lack of stars. Declining interest. Record-low numbers. An ephemeral casual fanbase. A hardcore fanbase that doesn’t care anymore. A resurgent competitor with a new, well-liked, adept president backed by a financial titan.

Those topics have all been under substantial discussion in the past few months–as they should be. Those are the very real, very pressing problems the UFC faces as we enter the second half of 2014.

But last night at UFC 175, the MMA world was able to forget all that–specifically because of the PPV’s main and co-main events.

The co-main event featured UFC women’s bantamweight champion Ronda Rousey taking on challenger Alexis Davis. As Rousey headed to the cage, I took to CagePotato’s Twitter and presciently stated Rousey-Davis would be the most one-sided fight we see all year. That’s exactly what it turned out to be. Rousey vs. Davis made Chad Mendes vs. Cody McKenzie seem well-booked and competitive.

I know what you’re saying, “Why is the UFC-sponsored cash cow Ronda Rousey winning a squash match something to get pumped up about?”

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UFC 175 Results: Weidman Decisions Machida, Rousey DESTROYS Davis


(This 4th of July weekend, let’s declare our independence from “Machida drinks pee-pee” jokes. #cagepotatoban / Photo by Esther Lin for MMAFighting.com)

When UFC middleweight champion Chris Weidman knocked out Anderson Silva last July, fans called it a fluke. When Weidman snapped Silva’s leg by checking a kick in their rematch, fans called it a fluke again. Tonight at UFC 175 in Las Vegas, Weidman has the opportunity to prove that his title reign is the real deal when he takes on Lyoto Machida, who could become just the third fighter in UFC history to win a belt in two different weight classes.

Also on tonight’s main card, bantamweight baroness Ronda Rousey will publicly execute Alexis Davis, and Stefan Struve returns to action against Matt Mitrione. Plus: A couple of prelim-caliber fights that somehow creeped onto the PPV due to circumstances beyond anyone’s control.

Fresh off his liveblog of the last UFC PPV (sorry about that, dude), our friend Barry “Bear” Siragusa is BACK in the saddle agaaaain, and will be posting round-by-round results from the “Weidman vs. Machida” pay-per-view broadcast after the jump beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and shoot us your own thoughts in the comments section or on twitter @cagepotatomma. Thanks for coming.

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Seth vs. Jared: UFC 175 Edition


(Undercard fighter or ESPN personality? – it’s a surprisingly difficult game. Photo courtesy of Stuart Scott’s Twitter.)

CP staff writers Jared Jones and Seth Falvo have a few bones to pick with this weekend’s UFC 175: Weidman vs. Machida card. Mainly, its non-existent advertising, lack of good underdog bets, and blatant bait-and-switch tactics regarding its FS1 prelims. Read along to understand what it’s like to watch two grown-ass men slowly march down the path of insanity.

Al Bundy gifs will reign.

Despite being just one day out from the biggest UFC event of the summer, the hype surrounding this card seems non-existent. Have you even seen an advertisement for this event that didn’t take place during a lesser UFC card? The UFC can’t possibly believe that this is adequate advertising…can they?

SF: Buddy, I haven’t seen a single advertisement for this card, period. What, did you really think I’d be one of the nine people who watched UFC Ultimate Step to This Never Back Down: Live from New Zealand?

As for whether or not this is adequate advertising, you’re missing the point entirely. The public isn’t burnt out from a lack of advertising efforts, they’re burnt out from constant exposure to generic cards composed of completely meaningless fights.

JJ: I already touched on the complete lack of advertising for this card in my UFC 175 fight hype article on Wednesday, so I’ll (try to) be brief. While I’d personally rather see no advertising at all for a UFC event than be repeatedly subjected to the music of Linkin Park, I must admit that the UFC’s decision to not advertise a card with two title fights (two!) is a bit puzzling. I mean, sure, one of them is a Japanese freak show-level squash match, but still, UFC 175 has a lot more to offer from a marketing standpoint than several cards prior.

Honestly, I’m starting to thinking Dana’s barely beneath the surface hatred for MMA fans with discernable taste is starting to affect his business decisions. He’s gone from trying to convince us that every fight is of the same quality, no matter how blatant a lie he must craft, to simply trolling us with his “Fuck You, Take It” understanding of how to advertise his product. “You say no one cares about little flyweights? Beat them over the head with ads. A double title fight card? PULL ALL SPONSORS.”

My point is, the UFC no longer cares about advertising, because they no longer care about the quality of the cards they expect us to pay $60 for. They’re just going to keep doing their thing while reiterating that business is in fact “booming” and barely pausing to consider that their customers might actually be right every now and again. It’s a brilliant business strategy if you’ve never learned a thing about how a business is run.

This has gotten off to a depressing start.

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