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Tag: Chris Weidman

TIL That Chris Weidman Sh*t in a Trash Can On His First Date With His Wife


(An incredibly classy artist’s rendition of Chris’ story.)

Chris Weidman has always struck me as a straightforward, down-to-earth, and perhaps most importantly, genuine guy. A little bro-ish maybe, but not unlike any Long Islander I’ve ever met in that regard, and besides, he saved his 92-year-old neighbor’s life once, so stop putting him on trial, will ya, Nation? Because that’s what you’re always doing and that’s what you’re doing now! Like you’re so f*cking perfect, with your ironic derby hats and your market fresh wifi and your premature arthritis-causing porn addiction that you told the doctor was actually from working at a steel mill all these years. You’re 23 years old and have never even been to a steel mill, dammit, and you’ve got the city hands to prove it!! Get a job, drink Budweiser heavies, and leave Chris Weidman alone!!

I guess what I’m saying is, Chris Weidman is the kind of guy who has put in the long hours at said fictional steel mill. That’s how you become the best, through hard work and hard work alone. Just ask Fred Ettish, or Omarosa. Weidman’s a man’s man (his name states as much!), a kingslayer, and an honest Abe — a solid dude all around. He’s the kind of guy who, when you ask him about what he did on his first date with his lovely wife, proceeds to tell you a story that begins as a classic tale of a man wooing his best friend/wrestling buddy’s sister and ends like a scene out of an underwhelming but financially successful Ben Stiller movie. Because what’s he gonna do, lie and say they they met on Tinder? Because Tinder was even around then, dum-dum? Honestly, it’s way too early for you guys to be this drunk.

I won’t spoil Weidman’s tale of true love for you — you know, besides what I wrote in the headline — but suffice it to say (*in field reporter voice*), “Sometimes love can get a little…shitty. Back to you in the studio, Chris and Diane!”

Video after the dump*. 

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Dethroned: The Top 5 Championship Upsets in UFC History


(Oh, this? Just the face of a man who knows he’s about to be chewed out by the Wheaties people. via Getty.)

By Scott Johnson 

UFC 185 was a very interesting anomaly in the world of MMA, in which two incumbent champions were dethroned by the challengers who were considered underdogs going into the fight. Carla Esparza was only considered a slight favorite heading into her fight with Joanna Jedrzejczyk so the surprise there was minimal, but there weren’t many people expecting to see Rafael Dos Anjos topple Pretty Tony Pettis. Hell, most of us were already looking forward to Pettis vs. Nurmagomedov, but the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry, and now the UFC Lightweight division has a new champion in its mix.

In the spirit of these events, I’ve compiled what I consider to be the top five upsets in UFC championship history. I have no doubts that there will be a difference in opinion as to which fights belong here or which order they should be in, but in the words of the great Oskar Schindler, “Fuck you, it’s my list and I’ll put who I want on it.”

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In Defense of The Spider: A Speculative

By CP Reader Steve Lowther

As a bonafide Anderson Silva nuthugger (try not to picture that), I’ve been asking myself the same question for the past few weeks — “Why, Anderson, Why?” You were arguably the greatest mixed martial artist of our generation, maybe of all time. If Impossible was Nothing, nothing inside the cage was impossible. You, Anderson “The Spider” Silva, lived in some sort of netherworld between our world and The Matrix, where you made former champions look like amateurs and knocked out heavier men with a jab while backpedaling. Even on your worst night, you triangle-chocked victory from the loud-mouthed jaws of defeat. You were MMA’s first superhero, it’s first Superman.

Then you met your kryptonite. His name was Chris Weidman.

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UFC 187: The Greatest UFC Card In the Past Few Years (And Possibly Ever)

Look at it. It’s glorious, isn’t it? In a UFC landscape currently being dominated by complaints of oversaturation, dwindling fan interest and rampant PED use, along comes a card to finally set us straight, or at least distract us from said oversaturation and rampant PED use for a little while.

Having already announced a complete overhaul to its drug testing program last night, the UFC dropped another bombshell later in the evening by announcing the epic lineup of its Memorial Day weekend card, UFC 187.

Details after the jump.

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Why We Can’t Have Nice Things: The Curse of the Injured Champion


(Fact: This is exactly how Matt Serra sounds after consuming an 18-inch hoagie.)

By Rory Daniel 

The prospect of a new year with MMA is always a pleasant one. It won’t be like it was before. We’ve both matured, we know where we went wrong last time and we’re both committed to not repeating our previous mistakes. We’ve been wooed back in by big names – Jones, McGregor, Silva, Diaz, all in January alone – and, what a surprise, just as things looked like they were going to be different, better, lasting…BAM…we’re reduced to tears and calling mom screaming “why can’t anyone love me?” in the rain. Metaphorically speaking.

The news that Chris Weidman has been forced out of his UFC 184 title defence shattered any naïve assumptions that maybe this year would finally see the dastardly injury bug leaving our precious main events alone. Of course, the signs were there before Weidman’s injury…

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Chris Weidman Injured Again, Rousey vs. Zingano Now Headlines UFC 184


(“Okay, Al, you need to get back on your feet and…dammit, there goes the other knee.” Via Getty.) 

I know what you’re thinking, “A champion who can’t stay healthy? WHAT SPORT IS THIS?”

Well, it’s MMA, dum-dum. Nothing ever goes according to plan; just ask Alexander Gustafsson. Or middleweight champ Chris Weidman, for that matter, who has once again been forced out of his bout with Vitor Belfort due to injury. We now kick it to our man in the field, Bunk Moreland, for analysis…

Details after the jump. 

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Four Opponents Anderson Silva Could Face Next Instead Of Chris Weidman


(Sadly, a rematch with Lady Pavlova remains off the table.)

By CP Reader Nasir Jabbar

This weekend, Anderson Silva comes back from his grizzly leg-injury when he takes on Stockton’s finest, Nick Diaz. UFC president Dana White has stated that Silva could face the winner of Weidman-Belfort if victorious, which seems relatively insane given that he is fighting a welterweight coming off a two year vacation (UFC politics, baby!). The possibility of Belfort-Silva 2 could be huge especially in Brazil, but whether Silva wants to fight against a Brazilian is another question. If normality remains with Weidman trouncing the-now-off-TRT-Belfort, Weidman-Silva 3 is a fight I would actually pass up.

Both meetings ended bizarrely, with the second fight ending more unusual than their first, as crazy as that was. Silva has gone 0-2 opposite Weidman, and in the twelve or so minutes of action between them, its fair to say that Weidman has gotten the better of Silva. So instead of playing a (literally) broken record, here are four possible opponents the GOAT could face off with if he wins or loses at UFC 183, because, you know, he still has a few fights left on his new contract.

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Friday Links: Jon Jones Was Not Using Synthetic Testosterone, WSOF Exec Goes to Prison, War Machine Finds Jesus + More


(Chael Sonnen posts a mysterious tweet about Jon Jones back in September 2012, then enjoys a Coke at the weigh-ins for their fight. Hmm… / props: Reddit/MMA)

NSAC Head: Jon Jones’ Testosterone Clean Prior to UFC 182; Carbon Isotope Ratio Test Conducted (MMAFighting)

The Dana White/Jon Jones Hypocrisy Megamix (MMAVines)

WSOF Executive Shawn Lampman Sentenced to Ten Months in Federal Prison for Tax Conviction (BloodyElbow)

Oh Great, War Machine Found Jesus (twishort)

Chris Weidman’s Random Drug Test Results Come Back Clean Ahead of UFC 184 (MMAMania)

UFC TV Ban in Germany Lifted by Court Decision (reddit)

8 Video Games That Everyone Will Be Playing In 2015 (EscapistMagazine)

Watch This Real Life Peter Griffin Impersonator Totally Kill It At NYC Comic Con (PopHangover)

The 23 Worst Personal Hells Imaginable (Radass)

VIDEO: Australian Hurdler Michelle Jenneke Is Back, And Hotter Than Ever (World Star, Baby)

Good Monopoly, Bad Monopoly: When are Monopolies Actually a Problem? (EveryJoe)

The 20 Dumbest Internet Products Of All Time (WorldWideInterweb)

Honest Trailer: Taken (ScreenJunkies)

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Anderson Silva to Earn Middleweight Title Shot With UFC 183 Win Over Nick Diaz


(Anderson Silva, posing in front of Jon Jones’s coffee table.)

Former UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva is three weeks away from his fun little circus-fight against Nick Diaz at UFC 183, and if he wins, the UFC will give the Spider another chance to get his middleweight title back. UFC president Dana White revealed the plan last night on FOX Sports 1’s UFC Tonight:

Diaz and Anderson Silva are fighting, and obviously if Anderson Silva wins that fight, and whether Vitor or Weidman win, then you have Anderson Silva versus either one of those guys,” White said.

“Obviously” is not the word I would have used here. For one thing, beating a semi-retired welterweight in a tune-up fight shouldn’t clinch anybody a middleweight title shot, even Anderson Silva. And also, what if Chris Weidman beats Vitor Belfort at UFC 184 next month (a likely scenario now that Belfort is totally off his meds)? Is anybody clamoring for a third fight between Silva and Weidman, outside of the Spider Superfans who remain convinced that the knockout and the broken leg were both “flukes”?

Keep in mind that middleweight contenders Ronaldo “Jacare” Souza and Yoel Romero — both of whom are still undefeated in the UFC — will be sluggin’ it out at UFC 184. Anderson Silva may be an “obvious” money-maker, but shouldn’t the Jacare/Romero winner be the rightful owner of the next middleweight title shot?

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The Greatest Erotic MMA Fan Fiction of All Time


(Come up with your own caption, perverts. / Photo via Getty)

UFC Fight Night 56 happened last night and it was pretty boring. During the lull in action, we wondered if there was a prominent MMA fan fiction scene. It turns out there was! The only drawback: A vast majority of the stories featured prominent fighters having sex with other prominent fighters.

We’re not really sure how to say this with our characteristic irreverent tone, so we’re just going to flat out say it: There’s a shit load of MMA slash fic out there. We found it. It’s…well, you need to see for yourself. We don’t like to exaggerate in the headlines but this stuff is far out.

Please don’t construe this as us trying to insult the author. We’re the guys who watch Ultimate Surrender, so we can’t judge how anyone gets their rocks off. We just thought these stories were kind of funny. We think it’s great someone is passionate enough about MMA to write this kind of stuff, honestly. Here are some excerpts from the more wild stories:

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