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20 Absolutely Insane Tattoos Inspired by Stanley Kubrick Movies

Tag: Clay Guida

The Change-Up: Five Fighters We Wish Could Switch Bodies


(Unlike the rest of us, the eye candy in the back decided to open her eyes for Cyborg.)

By Jason Moles

While suffering through The Change-Up this weekend, I started thinking about the hypothetical situation of MMA fighters switching bodies. Obviously, one fighter would get the short end of the stick, like in all relationships, but other than that, it’s all good news from there. Imagine the man with a warrior spirit and broken body upgrading for a newer model. Imagine the heavy-duty gas-guzzler being replaced by a tiny, eco-friendly, electric car. Imagine experience and youth joining forces to reign terror on anything that steps in its way. So who most deserves a cinematic body-swap? Read on and find out…

BJ Penn and Brock Lesnar
BJ Penn Brock Lesnar UFC MMA photos

Advantage: Baby Jay

For years, Penn has been criticized for his lack of self-discipline and willingness to stay in shape. Switching bodies would solve that problem and create what might be the best heavyweight in UFC history. A Nova Uniao Brazilian jiu-jitsu black belt with explosive striking and a granite chin, Penn has everything that Lesnar wishes he had. The Prodigy would be a wrecking ball at heavyweight if he had Brock’s body — as long as the viking took the diverticulitis thing with him. If he had to keep the illness during the switch, then I guess we could all agree that we’d like to see Josh Koscheck trade bodies with Brock.

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Video: Clay Guida Joins the Cheesy MMA Commercial Hall of Fame


(Video courtesy of YouTube/LegalForLess)

Add UFC lightweight Clay Guida to the list of MMA fighters who have acted in television commercials. With the guest spot above he did in the latest Safe Auto Ad, “The Carpenter” joins the ranks of the likes of Kurt Pellegrino, Jon Jones, Georges St-Pierre, Bob Sapp, Wanderlei Silva, Mirko Cro Cop and Mark Coleman.

Check out some of our other amesomely cheesy favorites after the jump.

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Fireworks and Fighters: A 4th of July Comparison Guide

By Jason Moles

We the people of CagePotato.com, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Bans, insure comments section Tranquility, provide for the common noob, promote the general Lack of Welfare, and attempt to secure the Blessings of Dana to ourselves and our readers, do ordain and establish this Comparison of fighters and fireworks for the Potato Nation.

There are plenty of MMA fighters out there who love to bring the pyrotechnics to the cage, lighting up their opponents for the enjoyment of the fans and the pleasure of a paycheck. In honor of Independence Day weekend — and our new friends at Wild Turkey — here’s a list of actual 4th of July fireworks that remind us of some well-known scrappers. Celebrate safely, and please try not to lose any fingers.

Snap-n-Pops (aka bang snaps, snappers, or whip’n pops): Corey Hill, Jason MacDonald, Razak Al-Hassan, Tim Sylvia

Call ‘em what you want, these small novelty fireworks are perfect for youngsters. You throw them against a wall, floor, or sleeping grandparent, and they make a satisfying POP! Cool, huh? It’s hard not to think of a ‘Snap-n-Pop’ and not think of these guys, whose limbs unfortunately made the same noises in their past fights.

Roman Candles: Clay Guida

Excitement. Power. Flash. Seemingly unending performance. Fun. Clay ‘The Carpenter’ Guida is more than your average firework. Hey may not blow up any doors but rest assured he’s always going to be a crowd favorite. No one has ever had a Roman Candle war or watched a Guida fight and not had the time of their life. For every colorful ball that is emitted from the candle, Guida whips his hair back and shoots in for a takedown. Regardless of what happens, they both just keep going until the final bell. When messing around with either, be careful; someone usually ends up a bloody mess.

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The Potato Index: UFC 131, TUF 13 Finale, and UFC 130 Edition

Clay Guida pool party MMA photos girls bikini
(Clay Guida’s party-animal status: Unchanged. Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.com)

Now that we’re halfway through a six-week stretch featuring a UFC or Strikeforce event every weekend, it might be time to take a deep breath, drag out a semi-retired recurring feature, and assign some totally meaningless scores to some of the notable trends and fighters we’ve seen lately. Who’s up, who’s down, and by how much? Well…

The UFC heavyweight division +113
Some have already labeled Shane Carwin’s loss at UFC 131 the “end of an era” for gargantuan heavyweights. (Didn’t last long, did it?) At the top of the division, we’re left with two guys who are smaller, faster, and better-conditioned than their predecessors; Velasquez vs. Dos Santos could be an all-time classic. Meanwhile, prospects like Travis Browne and Dave Herman continue to add depth at 265.

Cageside monitors -98
Nope, the judging in this sport still sucks, and the problem doesn’t appear to be technological. When you have shit for brains, every angle is a bad angle.

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The Chaos Continues: What the #@%! Is Going On At 155?

Don’t drink and:  drive, dial, text, facebook, or photoshop. -Anonymous

Let’s face it, Nation.  The lightweight field in the UFC  is a hopeless clusterfoxtrot.  Half of the names in the top ten last summer are either not at 155 anymore, or suddenly non-factors.  Six months ago, the WEC-UFC roster merger was supposed to clear up, once and for all, who the best fighters were.

Well….

The UFC title fight between Gray Maynard and champ Frankie Edgar was supposed to coincide nicely with the WEC’s own lightweight title fight at the December 16th event, the last by the promotion.  Anthony “Showtime Kick” Pettis defeated champion Ben Henderson by a close (but stupifyingly impressive) decision, something you would assume gives Henderson some legitimate claim to a title shot, or at least a number to get in line.

Two weeks later, Gray Maynard and Frankie Edgar go have themselves a fun little match in which they both manage to kick the other’s ass, but nobody wins.  Seriously, it’s a draw.

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TUF 13 Finale GIF: Anthony Pettis Tests Out the ‘Reverse Showtime Kick’

Anthony Pettis Clay Guida cage reverse kick showtime TUF 13 finale MMA gifs UFC gif

Well, they can’t all be homeruns — but mad respect for trying. Gif courtesy of IronForgesIron.com.

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‘The Ultimate Fighter 13′ Finale: *ssholes-1, Good Guys-0

Pettis, and his hopes at a title shot, come crashing down (pic: MMAFightNews.net)

Judging from the sparse commentary throughout last night’s live blog, most of you were out sipping $20 Manhattans and discussing the latest issue of The New Yorker while a few of us sat on the couch watching free cage fights and loathing ourselves. It’s cool. You know what you did was wrong, and you came back home to us. We forgive you, and we’ll give you the gist of what went down.

It only took three minutes and fifty four seconds to send ten weeks of buildup crashing to the mat. The bout between Tony Ferguson and Ramsey Nijem was competitive, with both men finding a home for their hands, but Ferguson was able to employ his collegiate wrestling experience and the time spent with Lesnar’s camp after the show to dictate the fight and set the pace. Following a couple of successful takedowns, Ferguson flipped Ramsey’s switch with a left hook and Season 13 of The Ultimate Fighter crowned its asshole champion.

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‘The Ultimate Fighter 13′ Finale: Live Results and Commentary

Kyle Kingsbury TUF 13 finale Fabio Maldonado weigh-ins MMA photos rainbow fanny-pack
(Kyle Kingsbury is wearing that rainbow fanny-pack in honor of all the brave men and women who gave their lives defending our freedom in the Candyland-Disco War of Sissystan. / Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle. For more photos from this album, click here.)

TUF 13 reaches its conclusion tonight, with “Stripper” Ramsey Nijem facing off against “Jerkwad” Tony Ferguson for the mythical six-figure contract and glass trophy. Plus: Anthony Pettis makes his official UFC debut against Clay Guida in a guaranteed thriller with lightweight title implications, the suddenly-badass Kyle Kingsbury looks to put Fabio Maldonado’s 11-fight win streak to an end, and much more.

If you’ve got nothing better to do, it’s not a bad way to spend a Saturday night. (If you do have something better to do, count yourself lucky, and come back later to let us know what the outside world is like.) The action is already underway at the Palms Casino Resort in Las Vegas — and streaming live on Facebook — but we’ll save the spoilers until the end of the night, because some of you crybabies get sooooo sensitive. Round-by-round results from the Spike TV broadcast will begin to pile up after the jump starting at 9 p.m. ET; refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest.

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Hey, This TUF 13 Finale Looks Pretty Good

Dammit, who are all you guys again?

Say what you will about The Ultimate Fighter (not like you need an invitation), but the finale shows tend to be pretty damn fun. This season, we actually have two fairly solid finalists, a dynamite co-main in Pettis-Guida, plus a handful of other matchups calibrated for striking showdowns and crowd amazement.

Here’s a quick and dirty rundown of the fights scheduled for this weekend, with a few of those fancy moving pictures that you like so much. Who ya got?

Ramsey Nijem

VS

Tony Ferguson

Well, either this fight is the one you’ve been waiting for, or you’re just wondering what these two nobodies are doing on your UFC card. Tune in to find out which guy gets a contract with the UFC. (Spoiler Alert: It’ll be both of them.)

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Announcing the MMAOutlet.com UFC Fight-Picking Contest!

MMA Outlet logo MMA gear store

While surfing the web for a new lovemaking mask, I stumbled across MMAOutlet.com, and it’s quickly become my go-to spot for MMA gear online. Now, MMAOutlet wants to give two $50 store credits to the Potato Nation, which you can use on their wide selection of MMA shortsMMA glovesJiu Jitsu gis, and loud-ass t-shirts. But as usual, you’ll have to burn some calories to win a prize. So how’s about a little fight-picking action, for old time’s sake?

This Saturday night, the TUF 13 Finale will go down on Spike TV, headlined by Clay Guida vs. Anthony Pettis, and Tony Ferguson vs. Ramsey Nijem. If you want a shot at a $50 credit from MMAOutlet, here’s what you need to do…

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