commentary

#10: Frank Trigg's stunned disbelief
Affliction: Banned, 7/19/08

It's not that Trigg's reaction when Fedor started landing bombs on Tim was inappropriate; in fact, this was pretty much how we reacted during the fight. But when you're being paid actual money to give insightful commentary about a sporting event, the viewers at home deserve a little better than "OH! OH-HO! OH-HO! OH-HO-NO-HO! OH!" Especially when you consider that this is a recurring trend with Trigg — when crazy shit goes down, the eloquence-train flies off the tracks, so to speak.

#9: Mike Goldberg tells us how precise Anderson Silva's precision is

The answer: Really. It's really precise. Man, sometimes Mike is better off keeping his mouth shut until it's time to ask Joe Rogan whether or not a fighter's arm is in trouble. By the way, if you can watch that video for all ten minutes, we'll send you a t-shirt.

#8: Kimbo Slice fails third-grade geography 
K-1's World Grand Prix 2008 Final, 12/6/08

(Unfortunately, we couldn't find a working video of this moment. Hopefully this Esther Lin/Lolcats mashup will be sufficient.)

Okay, give Kimbo a break. The man was extremely jet-lagged, and he clearly meant "the prefecture of Japan known as Kanagawa, which has Yokohama as its capital, where we are right now." It's not like he asked co-commentator Michael Schiavello what the fuck up with all the Chinese people in the building. That would have been embarrassing. And speaking of which...

(He's the one in the creepy Jesus t-shirt. Photo courtesy of the UFC 96: Friday Night Preparties set on CombatLifestyle.com.)

SackMikeGoldberg is a new-ish blog by BloodyElbow writer Mike Fagan that specializes in dissing Goldie's clumsy UFC commentary and the middle-school-caliber writing level of MMA bloggers. (Damn, bro — shoot fish in a barrel much?) Of particular interest is the site's official drinking game, which does seem like it would get you fucked up in short order:

To prevent a bad hangover the next morning, we recommend drinking a glass of water every time Mike throws it to "the veteran voice of the Octagon, Bruce Buffer." Though you should definitely do a shot of bottom-shelf tequila every time Goldberg does something that makes his partner visibly uncomfortable.

Now who wants to make the Joe Rogan drinking game?

(An enormous head, filled with 12 pounds of cookie dough. Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

We just wanted to share these quotes from Tito's absolutely stunning broadcast debut at "Day of Reckoning," collected from these threads on the UG:

Sobral/Sokoudjou

"Here we are with Seraldo Babalu, you did an awesome job, saw why you're a black belt in jiu-jitsu, getting an awesome submission there, I want to tell me what you see, let's go ahead and see by the fight, what you saw, in the ring."

"You showed the dominance by getting the takedown and looking for a choke in that position. We know the weakness that you had, but you actually showed the heart and determination of a champion of how tough of a light heavyweight you really are, here in the Affliction card. What do you think of the future of you, um, future opponents?"

"Yes, and uh, my back will be better in about three months, so I know all the fans would love to see me and you get it on. You know what, you're an awesome fighter, congratulations tonight. Everybody lets give a hand to Renato Babalu, one of the greatest light heavyweights, of the night."

Belfort/Lindland

"Matt the Lindland Law...The Law Lindland."

"Well, Belfort, we saw you with an astonishing left hand, that's the left hand that I used to see you knock people out time and time again, we're gonna go ahead and go over it. Walk me through it, show me exactly what you seen with this."

"Well, like I said, you show your hand-speed time and time again Vitor, 185 pounds, lady and gentlemen, let's give Vitor Belfort a round of applause, an awesome 105 pounder, you just beat the number two guy in the world, buddy, you're on top of the world tonight!"

"Wow! That’s all I got to say. Vitor at 185 pounds. I don’t know. I see him beating the, uh, what was it, Anderson Silva. I see him picking him apart because you have two great boxers, and, man, that was amazing. That was the old Vitor Belfort that we all want to see. Him at 131 years old. He’s back for vengeance."