Previous experiments have involved a flat iron and a tub of Crisco.

We enjoy a great hairdo as much as the next guy, but it’s not often that one plays a role in the outcome of a fight. Back in the day, Jason Fairn and Guy Mezger famously made a gentlemen’s agreement not to tug on each other’s locks during their fight, and more recently Louis Gaudinot has considered chopping off his tresses after his hair hampered his performance against John Lineker. Those men took a look in the mirror and decided the fate of their own follicles, an option that has sadly been taken out of the hands of Clay Guida.

“The Carpenter’s” signature coiffure was recently placed on the proverbial chopping block after Gray Maynard‘s camp filed a formal complaint with the New Jersey State Athletic Control Board. Sanctioning bodies are responsible for determining “whether head or facial hair presents any hazard to the safety of the unarmed combatant or his opponent or will interfere with the supervision and conduct of the contest or exhibition.” Though Guida has the right to contest Camp Maynard’s objection to his hair, he has opted to braid his Medusa-like top for their bout rather than bog himself down with legal wranglings.

Hear from all parties involved after the jump.

(Apparently, you don’t f*ck with a union spurned.)

Culinary Workers Union Local 226 — the group that is battling Station Casinos to unionize its hotel and casino workers — launched a new salvo against the casino’s owners Frank and Lorenzo Fertitta, who also own a majority stake in the UFC and Strikeforce yesterday by firing off a letter of complaint to Federal Trade Commission Director Richard Feinstein in which they request that the FTC launch an investigation against Zuffa for what they deem as “a violation of anti-trust laws.”

According to the complaint, sent to CagePotato.com today by the union, Zuffa’s practices of buying out the competition like they did with PRIDE, the WEC, WFA and Strikeforce, their institution of champion’s clauses, automatic contract renewal clauses and guaranteed first negotiation periods in fighters’ contracts, their control of fighter image and likeness rights in perpetuity and their refusal to co-promote all put artificial restraints on athlete movement, depress pay and stifle competition.

(He will litigate to the death, and he is not joking about this.)

Well, he finally went and did it.  After weeks of less structured, though more entertaining gripes and accusations, UFC lightweight champ B.J. Penn and his camp have filed a formal complaint with the Nevada State Athletic Commission against welterweight champ Georges St Pierre.

The Penn camp filed a twenty-page document (so take that Jackson camp, with your puny seventeen pages) detailing the complaint and outlining the consequences they’d like to see.  And what are those consequences?  You know the usual.  They just want to see GSP, his trainers, and other as of yet unnamed parties fined $250,000, have the bout result changed to a no contest, suspend the licenses of GSP, Phil Nurse, and Greg Jackson, and force GSP to undergo pre-fight showers.  Basically just the regular old stuff.

The complaint also accuses St. Pierre of “ingesting a substance” to make his body especially slippery before the fight.  It makes us wish the formal hearing really does happen so we can hear Penn’s lawyer accuse GSP of drinking baby oil, and then hear GSP’s lawyer counter that baby oil is considered a delicacy in certain French-Canadian circles.

It’s in your hands now, NSAC.  Please do something and put an end to this epic paperwork war. 

(‘Okay…this is…way worse…than I…expected.’)

After deciding not to lodge a formal complaint against Georges St. Pierre and his cornermen over UFC 94’s greasing incident, B.J. Penn’s camp has sent a letter to the Nevada State Athletic Commission formally requesting an investigation, according to NBC Sports:

The letter was sent by Penn’s lawyer Raffi Nahabedian to Nevada state athletic commission executive director Keith Kizer. In the correspondence, which was given by the commission to NBCSports.com, Nahabedian states that the letter is not a formal complaint, but asks the commission to ensure that St. Pierre and his cornermen are "properly dealt with."

Consider this the Penn camp’s way of saying, ‘We don’t want to look like whiners complaining about this, but we don’t want to let GSP off the hook, either.’  And just when you were hoping this thing would die down and we could all move on to other topics.  Sorry.  This is only getting started.

On a related note, Dana White spoke with our friend MDS over at MMA Fanhouse about the incident, and summed it up thusly: