(Khalidov’s most recent bit of UFC-washout dispatching handiwork at KSW 19.) 

If you’ve even been a semi-regular reader of this site over the past few months, then you are probably familiar with our nuthuggery when it comes to Polish powerhouse Mamed Khalidov. With a record that currently stands at 25-4, Khalidov has made a name for himself as of late by quickly and violently decimating any challenge placed before him under the KSW banner. His diet has consisted mainly of ex-UFC talent including James Irvin, Jesse Taylor, Jorge Santiago, and Matt Lindland, and he has not lost a fight since March of 2010 (in a rematch with Santiago). In those fights, Khalidov has proven to be as dynamic and powerful a striker as he is a lethal submission savant, and with the Biblical-scale plague of injuries currently sweeping through the UFC’s roster, now seems like a better time than any for Khalidov to test himself in the sport’s highest promotion, don’t you think?

Well, even though it is being reported that Khalidov has in fact been offered a contract by Dana & Co, the jury is still out on whether or not we’ll actually be seeing him stateside anytime soon. The reason, as it always is, boils down to simple dollars and cents. Or lack thereof.

(I could’ve sworn I took the blue pill.)

By Jason Moles

They say that time waits for no one and that you’d be wise to treasure every moment you have. After reading this, I bet you’d agree too.

To realize the value of ten years: Ask a 20-something-year-old who just signed his first major contract.

This past week has been a wild ride for Golden Glory fighters, one that they’d likely rather get off at this point. With the exception of Strikeforce HWGP competitor Sergei Kharitonov, Zuffa purged its rosters of the Netherlands-based camp, starting with Strikeforce Heavyweight Champion Alistair Overeem. Last night “The Demolition Man” joined Inside MMA to give his side of the tale.

Things start off as many would imagine: with Zuffa/Forza management looking like unreasonable assholes. Overeem repeats that he was promised an October date for the second round of the tournament, and when injuries prevented him from competing a month earlier than planned he was removed from the tournament. From there he says the conversation deteriorated:

“Well then the communication harshened a little bit. It was like, ‘If you don’t compete in the tournament then you’re going to be cut from Strikeforce entirely.’ So, that was really like a threat. So I [said], ‘Then go ahead and cut me].’ And they went along and cut me.”

That all sounds pretty cut and dry; he was told to jump, and when he refused he was punished unfairly. As he goes on, however, we see that there was more at play here than petty vindictiveness.

After the jump: More from Overeem on why he was released, and Dana White explains Golden Glory’s management demands and GOES OFF on Fedor supporters.

(Apparently the tipping point in negotiations was Fedor’s refusal to try Pinkberry)

Well it looks like Dana White is sending a message to fighters whose camps think they’re bigger than the UFC.

According to a report by LifeSports.ru, which cites “a source close to the fighter,” Zuffa has passed on a proposed deal with M-1 to sign the Russian management group’s biggest client, Fedor Emelianenko to a new UFC contract.

M-1′s failed dealings with the UFC over the past few years have been well documented, which no doubt left a bad taste in White’s mouth and likely contributed to the UFC president’s decision to pass on locking in the former number one ranked pound-for-pound fighter.

“Konichiwa, bitches!”

There are a lot of things we’ve come to know about Dana White over the years. He loves his Pink Berry. He relieves stress by pulling mediocre pranks on his subordinates. He’s an astute, cut throat businessman. And he holds a grudge like a mother fucker. It’s these last two traits that we’ll be examining at this time. With the UFC’s latest acquisition, Dana is in the position of working directly with many of the folks he’s either banned from the UFC or burned bridges with when attempts to work with them didn’t pan out. Aside from the recent legal quandary surrounding Roy Nelson’s employment, Zuffa has proven through aggressive litigation and hard ball negotiation that they know their way around a contract. This makes it very likely that Dana will do just as he says in honoring all current Strikeforce related contracts.

But virtually all contracts come to an end at some point, and when Strikeforce’s agreements reach their expiration date it’s a whole new ballgame. Some Strikeforce staples, such as open, non-exclusive contracts and event co-promotion are sure to disappear. The same is certain for many of the organization’s familiar faces, both in front of the camera and in the cage. Despite Dana’s vindictive nature, he didn’t get where he is today by letting hard feelings get in the way of good business. Let’s take a closer look at who’s on the chopping block when the legal obligations dissolve and Dana is wielding the axe.

(The hypogonadism is spreading like wildfire. PicProps: MMAClothingTrends)

So, we forgive you if you didn’t spend 2010 following Ricco Rodriguez’s career with the rapt and breathless attention you reserve for ex-UFC champs like, say, Tim Sylvia. If you’re just a youngling and/or aren’t a huge fan of Dr. Drew’s Celebrity Rehab then it’s also sort of understandable if you read that headline and were like, “Ricco who?” (Seriously though kid, UFC 39, check it out sometime) In any case, you’ll have to excuse the rest us oldsters if we pause from massaging Tiger Balm into our arthritic hip and raise one hoary eyebrow at reports out this week that the former 265-pound-titlist-turned-tragic-cautionary-tale might be on the verge of returning to the UFC.

MMA Weekly got the water boiling with an interview published on Christmas Eve and on Monday Five Ounces of Pain inserted the standard “learned from a source close to the fighter” qualification to the story that Rodriguez has been "negotiating" with our Octagon Overlords about a brand new three-fight, six-figure deal. To this we say: Huh. Weird.

(Clearly not bothering to read the fine print. PicPops: Xtreme Couture)

News about Jay Hieron’s contractual status has a funny way of going public before the legal Is are dotted and Ts crossed. Last year, he had to tell us all to just chill when reports that he’d bailed from the Hindenburg that was Affliction and signed with Strikeforce proved premature. Now, Hieron himself admits he “jumped the gun” in announcing his own departure from Scott Coker’s slowly deflating dingy of an MMA promotion. When Hieron tweeted last week that he’d been officially released from Strikeforce and then proclaimed: “Ya’ll know what I’m about to do!!!!!!!” the truth was, not even Hieron himself actually knew what he was about to do.

Though the Xtreme Couture product told MMA Fighting over the weekend that he’ll “definitely” be fighting again before the end of the year, he isn’t quite free from Strikeforce’s clutches just yet. And the UFC return he seemed to be hinting at on his Twitter? At this point, that sounds more like wishful thinking than a done deal, too.

(Dude, can I finish taking a piss before we talk about this?)

Former PRIDE middleweight champion Ricardo Arona is planning his return to the UFC, even if the promotion hasn’t decided whether or not they want him.

"The Brazilian Tiger" told TATAME that he is planning another trip to Las Vegas this weekend to attend UFC 116 so he can meet again with Dana White to discuss with the UFC president the prospect of one day fighting in the UFC’s Octagon.

It worked for James Toney, so why not for a guy who was once one of the top competitors at 205 in PRIDE?

(This pose yielded very different results during the Robbie Lawler shoot.)

Gina Carano and Ariel Helwani continued their star-crossed romance in an interview for MMA Fanhouse, mixing friendly banter with actual questions about when the hell we’ll see Carano fight someone.  Long story short, it’s going to be in Strikeforce, eventually, but they’re still working out the details.  One would assume that the major detail in question is money.  Carano was working extremely cheap for Elite XC, and now she has the chance to hold Scott Coker over the coals and really stack that paper, son.  Only Carano claims – get this – that money is not a big deal to her:

Frankly, I am absolutely unmotivated by money. And I know that maybe people take that and don’t understand what that means, but I am just not. What I am interested in is people that have respect. Not only respect for me, but people who have respect for women in MMA. So, the better that I can do for myself and the better I represent myself – which I have to work on all of this, by the way – the better it is for the sport.

Now I’m no business mastermind, but if I were to write a book about how to negotiate a contract the first chapter would be entitled: “Don’t Publicly Claim That You Aren’t Interested In Being Paid Lots of Money.”  The second chapter would be called: "The Power of Blackmail," so now you know why I’m not writing that book. 

But even if you’re willing to believe that Carano is the kind of idealist who doesn’t want to get paid as much as she possibly can for doing a dangerous and difficult job that has a very limited window of opportunity, then you have to find a way to reconcile that Gina Carano with this Gina Carano:

(Unfortunately the beating wasn’t the worst thing to come out of UFC 95 for Mandaloniz.  Photo courtesy of MMA Weekly.)

According to BJPenn.com, Troy “Rude Boy” Mandaloniz has been cut from the UFC following the decision loss to Paul Kelly that left the Hawaiian’s face looking like an impressionist painting that had been left out in the rain.  While we’re not terribly surprised to see a guy who is 3-2 in his career and 1-1 in the UFC (with the lone win coming against Richie Hightower) cut from the big leagues, he seems fairly shocked.

"I thought I showed them what I was made of, but I guess not. I don’ think I see too many other fighters out there fighting with the same passion and intensity that I bring. I’m a fighter that people want to see fight and maybe one day after I prove myself again I could be back in the UFC.”

Rude Boy apparently learned he had been cut via email (sure it wasn’t a text message to someone else in the camp?), which seems kind of cold.  They couldn’t even pick up the phone and call him?  

Maybe dropping fighters from the UFC is like breaking up.  If they’ve only fought twice for you, an email is fine.  If they’ve been around a little longer, you gotta call.  And if it’s an ex-champion who’s put in years of service, you take them out to a mediocre Mexican restaurant and break the news over appetizers, then let them have just one more go-round in the bathroom for old times’ sake.

Of course, if they’ve only had one fight?  Like poor Josh Hendricks?  Then you can inform them via a post on their Facebook page.  Right before changing your status to “Accepting heavyweight applications.”

 
Yoshihiro Akiyama vs. Denis Kang – Watch more free videos
(Akiyama putting a hurting on Denis Kang, back when that meant a little more.)

UFC.com announced this afternoon that Yoshihiro Akiyama has signed on with the UFC.  There’s no word on who his first opponent will be, but he’s expected to step into the Octagon for the first time this summer.  

This is a big move for the UFC because it not only bolsters their middleweight roster, but also helps Dana White’s eventual plan to take his business to Japan.  Akiyama is the kind of fighter many Japanese fans (and Shinya Aoki) love to hate, partly because he is ethnically Korean and has been involved in one or two greasing scandals of his own.  As the UFC gets more top Japanese fighters on its roster, especially ones the Japanese fans will pay to see in spite of themselves, it’s going to make things much easier when the UFC finally manages to schedule an event over there.  

As Dana White is quoted as saying in the UFC.com story:

(When people start comparing your mugshots, rarely do they reach a conclusion that says anything positive about you.)

After first reporting that former UFC fighter Kimo Leopoldo was arrested for meth and maybe attempting to impersonate a police officer, TMZ.com has provided pretty conclusive photographic evidence that the would-be CSAC Executive Officer has a little bit of a problem.  As is often the case with meth, the mug shot tells the whole story.  He doesn’t even look like the same guy anymore, and Sherdog adds this detail about the Long Beach Police Department jumper he was sporting when cops spotted him: “It had a badge in the front and the word ‘Police’ across the back, except he was wearing flip-flops and playing with a yo-yo.”  Dude.  Just…wow.

- Another recently arrested substance-abuser is in the news for good reasons today.  Josh Neer has signed a new four-fight contract with the UFC following his submission victory over Mac Danzig at Fight Night 17.  That’s a relief for the guy who was looking at potentially being dropped from the organization following his arrest for DUI, hit-and-run, and evading police on New Year’s Eve.  But he won his fight, so it’s okay now!  Looks like beating up a vegan is still worth something in this country.  Thank God.

- Lyoto Machida is hoping Keith Jardine will beat Quinton Jackson at UFC 96 in March and grant him a title shot, but he’s not kidding himself.  Talking to Tatame, Machida said, “I’m cheering for Jardine, but I think that Quinton is stronger, hits harder… I think Quinton is the favorite. I think I’ll have to wait a bit more.”  The undefeated Brazilian said he’d consider another fight before challenging for the belt, since he’s always done what the UFC asked, but added, “now is time for me to start to ask a bit too.”  Twenty bucks says he asks for the UFC to get him one of those TapouT caged beds.  If not, he’s missing a golden fucking opportunity.

(Who could forget Roger’s haunting performance as Edward Wooferhands? Image courtesy of Orion Car Audio.)

Shocking news from Sherdog: UFC lightweight star Roger Huerta has turned down a five-fight contract extension in order to pursue a career in acting and modeling. "El Matador" has one more fight on his current contract, which he plans to fulfill sometime this year, and may eventually return to the UFC. But for the time being, his interests lie elsewhere:

(‘I’m so mad I could pull guard right now.’)

There’s no getting around it, Dean Lister had a bad, bad night against Yushin Okami at UFC 92.  His offense consisted of pulling guard, a few token efforts at striking, and takedown attempts that only became more half-hearted as the fight wore on.  Not surprisingly, he lost the decision, was showered with boos from the fans, and got his release from the UFC afterwards.  

Now Lister has posted a message to the UG apologizing to his fans and teammates:

Listen I had a very poor performance my last fight. Truth is that I let my team and my gym, my friends and definitely myself down for this fight. Its not only that I lost but I really showed a poor performance. I had a much better showing against Arona (even though that was only primarily a grappling fight that I lost) even in Pride who is a better fighter than Okami for sure. Things just didnt come together for me this fight. I trained so, so hard, I really trained hard but it didnt work out.

Nice, right?  He owns up to his poor performance, apologizes to the people he let down, but it doesn’t stop there:

 
(Let’s remember the good times. Props: Old, Bald, & Irish.)

First EliteXC tanked, leaving Gina Carano without an organization to call home.  But if that wasn’t enough of a kick in the ovaries, American Gladiators has also been cancelled.  We can’t say we didn’t see it coming, but it’s sad nonetheless.  If only the new American Gladiators could have captured some this kind of magic from the old AG, maybe they’d still be around.  Alas, it wasn’t meant to be.  Not only does this mean we may never again see “Crush” tossing old ladies around in a unitard, it also means Hulk Hogan is being released back into the wild, so look out.  

But just when all Carano’s revenue streams look to be drying up, it sounds as if Dana White may actually be serious about getting her signed.  The UFC prez told Five Ounces of Pain’s Gary Herman that Carano, Robbie Lawler, and Jake Shields are all former EliteXC fighters he’d like to sign.  He also chastised fighters for signing with “fly by night companies,” saying they were “wasting their time.”

There you have it, young fighters not in the UFC.  Don’t sign with organizations other than the UFC or you’ll be wasting your time.  Just keep fighting one-offs in tiny regional shows for almost no money.  Then, after the UFC signs you and later cuts you, it won’t be so hard to re-adjust to your life of poverty and despair.  See?  Circle of freaking life.

(Hater Hurter, we hardly knew ye.  Photo courtesy of Combat Lifestyle.)

Johnny “The Hater Hurter” Rees will be released from his UFC contract after losing via submission to Steve “Hollywood” Bruno on last night’s F(2)T(2) card, reports Five Ounces of Pain.  It was the second loss in two UFC bouts for Rees (or, as I like to call him, THH), who was undefeated when he first signed with the organization. 

Just goes to show that a perfect record in the minor leagues doesn’t always guarantee success in the big show.  I don’t think I need to point out that Dana White should watch his back after cutting that dude, as he may now be officially dubbed a hater in Rees’ book.

There could be more roster cuts coming after last night, which isn’t surprising considering that the card was populated with so many inexperienced, unproven fighters.  Some of those who lost last night, such as Brandon Wolff, may just need more time to sharpen their skills.  Other guys who went down – say by a nasty arm break that was totally avoidable, for instance – might want to rethink their career path while they’re on the mend, or at the very least work on their tapping motion with the arm that’s not in a cast.

Some good news, via UFC.com, is that Yoshiyuki Yoshida was treated and released from the hospital, having suffered nothing more serious than a concussion in his knockout loss.  You hate to think of a concussion as the best case scenario, but after seeing the shot Yoshida took, I’d say that’s getting off kind of easy.

(Top of the freakin’ world.)

Good news, Roger Huerta fans.  “El Matador” is out of the doghouse and back in good graces with the UFC, having just signed a new five-fight contract.  MMA Weekly reports that Huerta signed the deal on Monday, so hopefully this means he can start appearing on broadcasts once again and Dana White will stop spitting on the floor every time his name is mentioned.  That just doesn’t go over at all when he’s hanging at Fiddy Cent’s crib.

In case you’ve already forgotten and moved on with your life, Huerta was on the outs with the UFC back in August when he aired some grievances to our friend Neal Taflinger at Fight! Magazine, complaining about his per diem during PR tours and later asking for ridiculous sums of money to resign.  Then he lost to Kenny Florian and saw himself becoming persona non grata with the UFC, and since then we haven’t really heard much from him at all.

If there’s one thing we’ve learned over the past year or so about the way the UFC does business, it’s that fences can be mended as easily as they are destroyed if only you agree to do everything they want.  At least it means Huerta is sticking around.  Sorry, Bellator Fighting Championships. 

(‘A contract with the UFC? I’m set for life! What could possibly go wrong now?’)

Former UFC heavyweight Fabricio Werdum didn’t appear to realize he’d been fired from the organization even after several media outlets reported the news. At first we thought maybe his manager (also known as his sister) hadn’t told him for fear that he’d finally realize what a mistake it had been to hire her. Or perhaps he was just in denial. But now Werdum is facing the difficult realities of the situation, and judging by what he told Tatame, the UFC didn’t make much of an effort to come to terms with him:

“When I first heard the rumours, I didn’t know anything. I had four more fights left with them on my contract, which ran to 2010. But they demanded to renegotiate my existing contract by cutting my pay in half” revealed the heavyweight. Adding also that his departure had nothing to do with the video game licensing dispute. “No that wasn’t an issue but its not something that benefit’s the fighters”

“I‘m a free agent now. One of the advantages of leaving the UFC is the freedom of contract, which allows fighters to work with more than one event without any problems. That’s very beneficial. There are several possibilities now including fighting in multiple organizations. Affliction, Sengoku and Dream are big events, but I think the possibility of fighting for Affliction in particular will give me the best chance to fight the best in the world, Fedor, in addition to (Andrei) Arlovski, Josh Barnett and several other big names …That would be a great opportunity for me.”

(Guess who’s back?)

Well that didn’t take long. Jon Fitch is once again a UFC fighter, and will still fight Akihiro Gono at UFC 94, as planned. Apparently all it took was a conversation with Lorenzo Fertitta. MMA Rated has the scoop:

“Communication kind of broke down with Dana (White) so we talked with Lorenzo,” Fitch told MMARated. “(I) just got off the phone with him and we came to an agreement. We’re going to move ahead and I’ll be back in the UFC. We’re going to sign off on the video game and I’m back. It was never even about the agreement or the contract. It was the approach that we felt Dana was being a little bit hot-headed and was threatening us right off the bat. It didn’t seem like a professional way of doing things.”

Cooler heads, as they say, have prevailed. Should the ease with which this was resolved once Fitch and his management team were able to speak with someone who wasn’t Dana White perhaps tell us something? Threatening, bullying, saying things in the media such as “[Expletive] them. All of them, every last [expletive] one of them,” maybe that’s the kind of thing that doesn’t help negotiations with one’s employees, who one claims to want to be “partners” with. Thankfully Lorenzo Fertitta is on board to smooth things over.

Now you have to wonder, what lesson will Dana White take from this? Fitch did sign the contract. The UFC got what they wanted. Will White now be convinced that he can get what he wants if he plays good cop, bad cop with Lorenzo? Or will he see that sometimes talking things over is preferable to flying off the handle? Let’s hope it’s the latter. Right now Lorenzo is looking like Michael Corleone and Dana is looking like Sonny. And we all remember what happened to Sonny.

(Woody Guthrie would be so disappointed in you, Mike.)

As the UFC’s scorched earth policy toward AKA and its fighters unfolds, it’s looking like not everyone in the stable is getting cut. In an interview with USA Today, Dana White claims that Mike Swick was the only AKA fighter to call and say, essentially, he’ll do anything Dana wants:

The only fighter that called me from AKA was Mike Swick. Mike Swick called me from AKA, that was it. And Mike Swick said, “Listen, I don’t know what’s going on. I don’t care what’s going on. I’m with you, I’m in business with you guys. You guys are my partners.” And I said, “I appreciate that, Mike. We look at you the same way.”

(‘Fuck you, pay me.’)

When we looked at the payouts for WEC 36 and saw $14,000 next to Urijah Faber‘s name, we had little choice but to assume that Zuffa was screwing him like a one-legged Panamanian hooker: cheaply and with shocking disregard for his delicate feelings.

But Faber’s manager, Mike Roberts, says that figure was “not even close” to a full accounting of what Faber was paid to face Mike Brown:

“That was an accurate statement of the check he received that night. Some contractual issues came up after the September fight was postponed and that $14,000 was the remaining balance of what was owed to him. That is not what he made.”

[...]

“Keep in mind Urijah’s still fighting off an old contract, but Urijah’s been well taken care of for the last couple fights.”

(Name your price, gentleman.)

Maybe now we know why Pro Elite is trying to hold on to existing fighter contracts, and it isn’t because they intend to hold an event in early 2009. It’s because Showtime and CBS are auctioning off all their assets. This, according to an SEC filing this week:

“Showtime gave the Issuer a notice pursuant to the Security Agreement, as amended, that it intends to sell all of the Issuer’s personal property, whether tangible or intangible, to the highest bidder at a public sale,” the filing states. “Showtime reserves its rights under the Security Agreement, as amended, and applicable law to adjourn or cancel the sale and thereafter dispose of such property in a public or private sale or in any other manner provided by applicable law.”

Awesome, everybody loves an auction!

The way I see it, there’s never been a better time to scoop up some fighter contracts and start an impromptu MMA organization in your backyard. You get all your buddies together, everybody throws in a few bucks, and the next thing you know you have Nick Diaz and Robbie Lawler ready to throw down at your next party. If you move fast you might even get them to throw in some of the EliteXC hip-hop dancers.

That’s it, let’s take up a collection right now. Think of the possibilities…

(A man who knows the value of the right to remain silent.)

Perhaps you’ve noticed that ever since he opened his yap to complain about the UFC and money to Fight! Magazine, Roger Huerta has practically disappeared. He lost his faux-number one contender bout to Kenny Florian at UFC 87, and subsequent rebroadcasts of that event on Spike TV have had that bout removed altogether. It’s enough to make you wonder, did Roger Huerta really exist, or did we all just imagine him?

Okay, I checked on the internet and he really does exist, he’s just vanished from the UFC’s PR radar after taking his gripes public. Former foe and current WEC fighter Leonard Garcia tells MMA Rated that Huerta has no one but himself to blame:

“I think everybody writes their own ticket,” Garcia said. “The only thing I can say is don’t ever start to believe what people say about you. That’s the number one thing for me. The simple fact of the matter is that we are getting paid to do what we love. Don’t go out there and try to reach for the stars too soon.

(Surely Kimbo’s brilliant legal council will find a way out of this mess.)

Remember when Pro Elite ceased operations and filed for bankruptcy? Well, turns out they didn’t. At least that’s their story now. As fighters still under contract with them have been filing notices to get free, Pro Elite has responded by informing those fighters that the company has not declared bankruptcy and that it intends to stage an event in 2009.

A notice sent out to several managers representing Pro Elite fighters states:

“Elite XC and ProElite are currently downsizing its staff in an effort to improve its business moving forward. As this process is implemented, Elite XC cancelled the event previously scheduled for Nov. 8 in attempt to re-schedule another event in early 2009.”

That’s funny, because if I was running an MMA company that was merely downsizing but which intended to continue promoting events, and suddenly there were widespread reports that my company was filing for bankruptcy, I think I might say something to contradict that right away. I might, for example, immediately issue a statement declaring my intention not to just roll over and die. I might even call the people who had circulated those reports a bunch of lying sons of bitches. What I would not do is say nothing at all until fighters started trying to get free of their contracts, and only then come up with an obviously bullshit reason for not releasing them.

As you might expect, no one is buying this explanation.

(‘Sometimes I think there’s a disconnect between how I see myself and how the world perceives me to be.’)

From the sound of things, being a fighter under contract to EliteXC these days is a lot like being in a long distance relationship. You never know exactly what your status is, whether you’re free to make out with other people in bars, whether you’re still getting together over Thanksgiving, and what little contact you do have with one another is always tinged with confusion and regret. Fortunately for EliteXC middleweight champ Robbie Lawler, he has Monte Cox for an agent, and Monte knows just what to do in this situation: write a break-up letter.

Cox filed a breach of contract notice with Pro Elite last week, hoping to get Lawler free and clear of the sinking EliteXC ship so Lawler can ply his trade elsewhere, perhaps in the UFC:

“There’s a warranty clause in the contract that you can challenge if they have enough money to fulfill the contract,” Cox said. “Obviously, right now, they do not. I notified them of what I considered to be breach of contract and they have 30 days to respond. They have to prove they can fulfill it or we’re a free agent.”

[...]

“We’ve done everything we can do,” said Cox. “Now, they may fight [the claim of breach of contract], but we can’t do anything at the moment. Right now, there’s no one at Elite to even talk to us. If I wanted to ask, there’s nobody there.”

(‘Come on, Brock. What did we talk about? A little foundation is fine, but you go piling it on like this and it just makes you look desperate.’)

If you don’t like seeing Brock Lesnar in the UFC, and if you didn’t enjoy his appearance on E:60, you’re really not going to like this.

Maybe you hoped Dana White would give up on the former WWE star if he fails to beat Randy Couture. Maybe you just hoped he and his enormous traps would get stuck in a doorway somewhere in a remote part of Minnesota and he’d never be heard from again. Unfortunately for you, the second scenario is starting to sound more plausible than the first. Judging by Dana White’s remarks to The Sun, he seems to be absolutely smitten with Lesnar:

“It’s such an interesting fight because Couture is so good at coming up with plans for finding weaknesses in guys’ games and exposing them. But Lesnar’s such a different animal, this guy is so big, so strong and so fast at that weight it’s just phenomenal.

“For what he lacks in technique and knowledge, he makes up for in size, speed and power. Lesnar could go on to be the best heavyweight and the longest-reigning heavyweight – who knows what could happen with him.”

Who knows, indeed. He could go down in history as the greatest MMA fighter who ever lived. He could beat every heavyweight in the world, then travel into space to defeat intergalactic heavyweights. Instead of dying like a mortal man he could ascend to heaven on a winged white steed while angels sing a glorious song that churns the seas into a golden froth. Man, I have got to stop doing peyote in the afternoon.

The point is, it seems a little premature to get so worked up about a guy who’s 2-1 and has a bad habit of quitting stuff to go do other stuff, right? And then you hear this little afterthought thrown in there:

(Will act coquettishly adorable and sexy for food?)

While none of us may be positively heartbroken or even surprised to see Pro Elite shut down its operation, the thing to keep in mind is that the MMA marketplace just got smaller. That means fewer opportunities for fighters and, at least for most, meager paychecks in the near future. Former Icon Sport promoter Patrick Freitas reminded us of this fact with a post to the UG that read, in part:

I Just wanted to say that as everyone here is dancing on the Elitexc’s grave, I think its important to remember that a shitload of good fighters (and great people) just saw their contracts disappear into the ether.

That’s the truth. Whatever you think of Pro Elite’s demise and the reasons behind it, one thing we can all agree on is it isn’t the fault of the fighters they employed. But now that those fighters find themselves without an organization to call home, where do they go? The answer, of course, depends on who they are. Most will end up in local promotions. But what about the big fish?

Jake Shields: If the UFC could only pick up one of the newly unemployed EliteXC fighters, Shields should be that one. He was probably the most talented guy on their roster, and something tells me Zuffa could scoop him up relatively cheaply. If he comes in and makes an impact on the UFC’s welterweight division right away, great. If he doesn’t, the UFC can claim it as proof that their fighters are far and away the best in the industry.

Kimbo Slice: The EliteXC collapse couldn’t have happened at a worse time for Ferg. Coming off an embarrassing loss and with a half a million dollar price tag, he does not look like a good investment right now. We know the UFC isn’t interested. Affliction has enough heavyweights to do something with him, but he’ll have to take a major pay cut. Even then his shelf life is a question, as is his desire to continue on as a pro fighter. Don’t be surprised if we’ve seen the last of Kimbo’s MMA days.

(Mo’ money, mo’ unfulfilled expectations.)

You can’t say Dana White didn’t warn Brandon Vera. His comments before UFC 89 suggested that it was time for “The Truth” to justify his high price tag. He didn’t, and so White is turning up the heat on him with remarks like these:

“I’m not seeing what I expected from Brandon Vera. It’s like he’s lost something. He doesn’t have that killer instinct since he took that year off. He doesn’t go after people. He used to be so cocky. He wanted to fight everybody.

“We tried to get him on one of the seasons of The Ultimate Fighter and he turned that down and said he wanted to fight Chuck Liddell and that he would knock him out. I hear that seven days a week so I told him to go on TUF and we’d find out how good he was.

“He was good. He used to walk through heavyweights earlier in his career. But he took a year off and we had all the issues with his contract and he hasn’t been the same since. I don’t know what’s wrong with him.”

It’s not exactly shocking to hear Dana White go after a guy who held him over the coals in contract negotiations and has since failed to live up to expectations. In a way, it seems justified. The UFC agreed to his six-figure demands based on his past performances and what they saw as his future potential. Lately he’s looked like a bad investment.

But being badmouthed in public by your boss, both before and after the fight, that’s got to sting. Especially when he goes on to compare you unfavorably to other guys who lost on the same night:

(See, Japan? Dana White knows what you’re into. You guys are still into samurai swords, right?.)

The UFC is headed back to Japanese TV sets via a new two-year deal with the Japanese subscription-based broadcaster WOWOW. They’ll be broadcasting all UFC pay-per-views starting with this Saturday’s UFC 89 from England on a tape delay. From the press release:

“The Japanese market has always been important to the UFC, and we want to bring MMA and all of its biggest stars back to Japan,” said Dana White, UFC President. “We are thrilled to be back with WOWOW.”

“WOWOW is extremely pleased to announce that UFC is back on WOWOW, starting with the UFC 89 event in Birmingham, UK,” said Mr. Kazuyuki Omura, Chief Producer, WOWOW. “The UFC will telecast in High Definition on WOWOW’s popular “Timely-on-Air” format, a limited delay broadcast adjusting the airtime to a time that will be convenient for the sports fans in Japan. After airing over 50 UFC shows from 2001 to 2007, we are excited to once again provide our subscribers with the most prominent mixed martial arts program in the world.”

There, Japanese MMA fans, does that take some of the sting out of Zuffa buying Pride only to dismantle it? No, probably not, but what can you do. At least you’ve still got Dream, and at least they finally paid Nick Diaz for a fight that happened last spring.

This TV deal is just one more box checked in the UFC’s global domination plans. Now look the fuck out, Phillipines.

(‘Bring me your tired, your freaks, your outmatched fools. I fight them on eve of the new year, yes?’)

The official Dream website has posted an interview they conducted with Fedor Emelianenko, but unfortunately for me it’s all transcribed in squiggly lines that I can make neither heads nor tails of. Good thing Suki came along to translate it, otherwise we might have missed this:

- Japanese fans are expected to see you fight in NYE in Japan again.

I want to fight in Japan again; however, I cannot control everything. God knows what will happen. Whether I fight or not in NYE depends on a negotiation between my manager and DREAM.

Perhaps Fedor is just blowing smoke here to keep his Japanese public happy, but that’s a very different story than the one Tom Atencio is telling. He claims to have verification from Fedor’s management that he absolutely, positively will not fight on New Year’s Eve. So, assuming Fedor is not consciously lying in this Dream interview, this means:

1) Fedor’s management is willing to rent him out to the highest bidder, regardless of whether they’ve already committed him to fight elsewhere.

2) Fedor’s management doesn’t necessarily tell Fedor everything that’s going on.

3) There are some nuances being lost in translation.

The first option seems plausible because, well, Fedor is managed by crazy Russians, according Dana White. The second option is also not too unrealistic, for the same crazy Russian reasons. Option three is especially possible since Fedor’s comments had to go from Russian to Japanese to English. In other words, yeah, we don’t know what the hell is really going on. Which probably puts us in the same boat as Fedor.