(“Fuck it, I’m calling in the air strike.”)

This week in “not honoring the spirit of the deal” news: Spike TV is upping the ante on their UFC counter-programming efforts, launching a new best-of-TUF series that would compete directly against season 15 of The Ultimate Fighter. “The Ultimate Fighter Fridays” will be a three-hour programming block debuting on Friday, March 2nd, at 9 p.m. ET/PT, featuring the best episodes from the first 14 seasons of the reality show. According to the press release, Spike will air special-themed editions of “The Ultimate Fighter Fridays” with input from fans via Facebook and Twitter.

Meanwhile on FX, The Ultimate Fighter LIVE is scheduled to kick off March 9th at 9 p.m. ET/PT, helmed by coaches Urijah Faber and Dominick Cruz. Moving the show to a different network on a different night of the week will surely leave some fans confused if they haven’t been paying attention, and Spike’s new programming block just throws a few more tacks on the road, so to speak. But wait, there’s more…

(And here we have Ronda Rousey dumping Karo Parisyan on his head. Props: DantheWolfman)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere…

- The Great ‘Must Retire’ List of 2011 (MMA Convert)

- Bellator’s 10 Best Fights of 2011 (The Fight Nerd)

- Photo Gallery: Cristiane “Cyborg” Santos Training for Hiroko Yamanaka (Lowkick.Blitzcorner.com)

- The 25 Most Outrageous MMA-Related Videos on YouTube (BleacherReport.com/MMA)

- Spike TV to Counter-Program ‘UFC on FOX 2′ With ‘UFC Unleashed: Evans vs. Davis’ (MMA Payout)

- Arianny Celeste: Chael Sonnen Is Very Polite To Me Backstage (FightLine)

- Keith Kizer: Urine Is ‘Obviously’ Better Than Blood for Steroid Testing (Fight Opinion)

- Dana White Sees Jon Jones as #2 Pound-for-Pound Fighter in the World (Five Ounces of Pain)

- Joseph Benavidez Inspired to Become a Great Champion in New UFC Flyweight Division (MMA Mania)

- Demian Maia: I Know I Can Submit Michael Bisping (MMAFighting)

- Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira Avoids Surgery on Broken Arm (5th Round)

- Can Someone Please Help Felice Herrig With Her Wardrobe Malfunction? (MiddleEasy)

(Sources inform us that the Octagon Girls for the UFC Japan show will be Chandella Powell, Rachelle Leah, and Hard Gay.)

So this is kinda weird. According to a new Yahoo! report, the UFC is planning to double-book themselves on the night of their February 26th return to Japan:

“When we go to Japan next year, we are going to be putting on a show at the same time in Las Vegas,” [Dana White] said…When asked how the company was going to handle a dual-show evening from a television standpoint, White just smiled and said, “You’ll see.”

Keep in mind that “you’ll see” may be code for “I have no fucking clue at this point.”

(A woman scorned always has her revenge.)

It looks like Spike TV isn’t going to let the UFC walk away from their longtime liaison quietly.

Like a woman scorned , Spike will attempt to sabotage Zuffa’s burgeoning relationship with Fox by counter-programming the network’s first UFC event featuring a heavyweight tilt between Cain Velasquez and Junior dos Santos with a three-hour special “Dos Santos vs. Velasquez: Unleashed” series of shows according to MMA Junkie. The November 12 Unleashed Marathon will begin at 9:00 just as Fox’s inaugural UFC event is set to start.

According to the report,  Spike owns the broadcast rights to the UFC library through 2012, and unless Zuffa buys back the rights the network will likely continue to counter-program Fox’s events for the next year. The catch 22 of the situation is that unless the UFC buys back the rights, Spike cannot air any other promotion’s events, which explains why it is only airing Bellator’s prelims on its website. The move could be a testing ground to see if there’s enough interest to move Bellator’s weekly events to the rotation when the UFC agreement expires.

(June 26th will be the perfect day to test out our controversial Caine-Hackman-Marquardt Theory.)

Between the suggestions that Spike TV intentionally buried TUF 13 with its earlier time-slot, Dana White’s complaints about the show’s forcibly-shortened season, and the recent reports that the UFC has been negotiating for a new cable parter (or even a channel of its own), we knew that the relationship between the UFC and Spike wasn’t rock-solid these days. But now we’re entering hateful ex-girlfriend territory. From SBNation (via Fightlinker):

Spike TV announced today a 10-hour marathon on Sunday, June 26th, featuring fight cards with UFC middleweight turned welterweight Nate Marquardt. However, the event runs directly parallel to the Marquardt-headlined live event on Versus, UFC on Versus 4…The event culminates with a re-broadcast of UFC Fight Night 22, which was headlined by Nate Marquardt vs. Rousimar Palhares…

Coincidentally, this marathon directly overlaps with a live Marquardt-headlined UFC event on the Versus channel, UFC on Versus 4 from 9 p.m. to 11 p.m. ET. Marquardt faces Rick Story in the main event as part of his welterweight debut…

(You wouldn’t like him when he’s angry. Photo courtesy of Fight!)

The UFC has been too busy dealing with their own shit to put much effort into screwing with Scott Coker lately [Ed. note: Remember when they were going to hold a rival fight card in Nashville? God, those were were the days.], but yes, there will be a counter-programming show on Spike this Saturday, which will compete with the Showtime broadcast of Strikeforce: Heavy Artillery. Titled "UFC’s Ultimate Fights," the two-and-a-half-hour compilation special kicks off at 10 p.m. ET/PT, and will feature some of Zuffa’s highlights from this year. On the docket…

Shane Carwin vs. Frank Mir, UFC 111: "The Engineer of Suffering" smashes Mir in round one, earning the Interim Heavyweight Championship and a Knockout of the Night bonus.

Leonard Garcia vs. “The Korean Zombie” Chan Sung Jung, Aldo vs. Faber: Greatest slugfest since Frye/Takayama. Inspired a best-selling t-shirt.

(Honestly, which would you rather watch: Chuck Liddell vs. Rich Franklin, or the stunning conclusion to this red-hot war of words? Video courtesy of MiddleEasy.)

Our condolences to anybody who was looking forward to a hastily thrown-together UFC card featuring a couple of old-timers and whoever else was available at the time. A Spike TV source has told MMAFighting.com that the UFC’s rumored Strikeforce counter-programming show on April 17th is no longer happening. This shouldn’t come as a huge surprise, considering that no fights had been made official a month away from the date. (The UFC doesn’t seem to share the same "whatever happens happens" attitude as the Japanese when it comes to fight-booking.) And so, Strikeforce wins this particular standoff, and will instead be going heads-up against one of the UFC’s recent pay-per-views. Considering how those PPVs have been doing lately, that’s good news for Scott Coker.

Speaking of Strikeforce: Nashville, MMA Junkie reports that Bobby Lashley (5-0) is slated to appear on the card against an opponent to be named later; if there’s any justice in the world, Wes Sims will get the rematch that we all know he deserves. Lashley’s fight is expected to be part of the event’s preliminary card, but will be shown on the CBS broadcast unless all three title fights go long.

(I hope you’re working hard, James, because Kimbo is working double-hard.)

It’s not enough for the UFC to simply hold an event the same day their rivals are holding one. No, gentle readers, what Dana White may have in mind is far more savage. In an update on the Strikeforce: Nashville counter-programming situation, Sherdog passes along the following amazing detail:

Tennessee Athletic Commission Executive Director Jeff Mullen says that the UFC has not yet applied for a permit, but if this actually happens, holy shit. This is basically something Keyser Soze would do if he was running an MMA promotion. Again, overall TV ratings would still lean in favor of Strikeforce, but the UFC could steal a lot of the local heat in Nashville depending on who’s on the card. Although the proposed Mike Swick vs. Matt Serra match isn’t happening due to Swick’s impending arm-surgery, Carmichael Dave drops the rumor that James Toney vs. Kimbo Slice is being prepared as the main event for the UFC’s April 17th show.

Kind of short-notice for Lights Out, but it’s not like he was planning on getting his blue belt in BJJ before stepping into the Octagon. He’s working with a fucking boxing coach to prepare for his MMA debut, okay? He doesn’t plan on anybody laying on top of him like a lil’ fag, you feel me? All of this is still unconfirmed, but we hope it goes down, just so we can hear Dana White explain why Dan Henderson vs. Jake Shields is a freak show, while Kimbo vs. Dark Gable is legitimate MMA…

(Now there’s a couple of guys you wouldn’t want to run into in a dark boardroom.)

What, you thought that Strikeforce could put together a stacked card on CBS featuring three title fights, one involving former UFC star Dan Henderson, and Dana White would just stand there and take it like a bitch? C’mon, son. As first reported by Dave Meltzer of f4wonline.com, the UFC is planning to set up a counter-programming show on April 17th — the scheduled date of Strikeforce: Nashville — which will likely air on Spike TV. No matchups are official yet, but a welterweight bout between Matt Serra and Mike Swick is in the works. While the Spike event would likely get blown out by Strikeforce’s CBS show in overall ratings, Meltzer explains the reasoning like this:

Good plan, right? There’s just one problem: Scott Coker might not play along.

("Stay…off…my…LAWN!" Photo courtesy of Fighters.com)

While Strikeforce is still locking down fights for their November 7th "Fedor vs. Rogers" card, the UFC already has their plans finalized. In an effort to draw eyes away from the World’s Greatest Heavyweight, Spike TV will be airing a two-hour special at 9 p.m. ET/PT called "UFC Main Events." The lineup will include:

– Randy Couture vs. Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira from UFC 102
– Vitor Belfort vs. Rich Franklin from UFC 103
– BJ Penn vs. Kenny Florian from UFC 101
– Forrest Griffin vs. Anderson Silva from UFC 101

None of these fights have ever been seen on basic cable, which is good news for those of you who haven’t had the time or money to keep up with the UFC’s recent pay-per-view broadcasts. But while previous viewership battles between the UFC and Strikeforce haven’t always been held on level playing fields, the UFC will now be putting some of its best product on Spike to compete with a potentially massive audience on CBS. Tables, they turn sometimes. We’re about to find out how strong the UFC brand really is…

(Time to earn that thing, Effy. Photo courtesy of MMA Frenzy.)

In what will hopefully become a recurring trend, the UFC has decided to air a two-hour commercial-free telecast of UFC 103‘s undercard on Spike TV as a lead-in to the pay-per-view card, according to the OC Register. And why are we being treated to such generosity? Well, MMA-hater Floyd Mayweather Jr. is fighting Juan Manuel Marquez on the same night, and Dana White wants to be a pain in their asses. That’s good enough for us. It’s only a matter of time before the UFC begins counter-programming NBA playoff games and presidential addresses.

UFC 103, which will be headlined by Rich Franklin vs. Vitor Belfort, and also features Mirko Cro Cop vs. Junior Dos Santos, Mike Swick vs. Martin Kampmann, and Josh Koscheck vs. Frank Trigg, has a whopping eight fights scheduled for the undercard. It’s hard to imagine all of them will make the broadcast, but we could be seeing the returns of Vladimir Matyushenko and Dan Lauzon, the Octagon debut of Paul Daley, and Efrain Escudero‘s first fight since winning TUF 8‘s lightweight trophy. UFC 103′s full lineup is after the jump.

(In the edited-for cable version, Lesnar says "I’m gonna drink a [Bud] Light because Bud Light [is the best], and I might even [do something special for] my wife tonight.")

The first stage in Dana White’s plan to destroy Strikeforce and piss on their ashes comes this Saturday at 10 p.m. ET/PT, as Spike will air highlights from UFC 100. The replay card will look like this:

Brock Lesnar vs. Frank Mir
Dan Henderson vs. Michael Bisping
Alan Belcher vs. Yoshihiro Akiyama
Stephan Bonnar vs. Mark Coleman
Shannon Gugerty vs. Matt Grice
Jon Jones vs. Jake O’Brien

(Whaddaya say, Baby Face, feel like taking a pay cut and burning some bridges?)

According to FiveOuncesofPain, Affliction is looking at holding their third event on July 11, 2009.  If you’re thinking that this date sounds familiar for some reason, congratulations, you are an astute observer!  Yeah, July 11 is when UFC 100 is.  And it’s kind of a big deal to the UFC.  So why would Affliction guarantee that their event gets counter-programmed by scheduling it on the same night as one of the biggest UFC cards ever?  Possibly because they know they’re done and want to hurt the UFC however they can on the way out.

That’s what Sam Caplan thinks, anyway.  According to his report Affliction is offering “restructured” contracts to their fighters (read: asking them to fight cheap) in the hopes of lowering overhead costs and getting the event on network TV or basic cable.  They know that no pay-per-view distributor wants to go head to head with the UFC, but if they can offer their show up for free they figure it might hurt the UFC’s PPV buys just a little, and what the hell, Affliction isn’t looking to promote any events after this one anyway.

(‘Let’s see how you like going up against a greased up Canadian and Lyoto Machida, you f*ckers.  I promise you it isn’t as much fun as it sounds.’)

Though he’s been uncharacteristically complimentary of Scott Coker’s Strikeforce operation, even after their move into the big time with the purchase of select Pro Elite assets, that doesn’t mean Dana White is content to let them operate free from any UFC interference.  When Strikeforce makes its Showtime debut with Diaz-Shamrock on April 11, the UFC will pull one of its favorite counter-programming tactics, running a popular recent pay-per-event for free on Spike TV the same night.

Strikeforce will go up against UFC 94, as Dana White and Co. attempt to draw fans away from the competing organization with the main event that made “Vaseline” a popular keyword term for MMA websites everywhere.  If anybody’s up for that challenge, it’s probably Frank Shamrock and Nick Diaz, who will say enough crazy things in the run-up to the bout to make you forget all about crazy things of the past.