(Serious question: How much would you pay this woman to kick you in the balls? / Photo via Sherdog)

A month after re-signing with Strikeforce, Cristiane “Cris Cyborg” Santos finally has her next opponent. As announced during Friday’s Strikeforce Challengers 19 broadcast, Santos will defend her 145-pound title at the “Melendez vs. Masvidal” event on December 17th, against Jewels/Smackgirl standout Hiroko Yamanaka (12-1). Here’s an amazing bit of biographical information from Yamanaka’s wikipedia page:

“Before entering into MMA, Yamanaka was a dominatrix and worked in a SM club for four and a half years. She used the name Chiaki in catfights when she was working there. She didn’t have sports experience and started to train in MMA because she thought that it would help her in providing a better service to her clients.”

Me-ow! Now riding an eight-fight win streak, Yamanaka was the final Smackgirl Open Weight Champion, and is ranked #2 on MMARising’s 145-pound women’s list. Watch her in action after the jump…

(“Hey, remember when I punched you in the face? That was awesome.” Photo courtesy of Esther/Strikeforce)

Inactive for 14 months (and counting), Cristiane “Cris Cyborg” Santos confirmed via Twitter last night that she has finally re-signed with Strikeforce. The 145-pound women’s champ officially became a free-agent in June, when her champion’s clause expired before she and Strikeforce could come to terms on a new deal. Though she had been negotiating with other organizations — and was even courted by the WWE — Santos is back where she belongs, and will face Opponent TBA at Event TBA.

Of course, Cyborg’s original problem still remains — that there are no credible challengers ready to fight her. I have a bad feeling that Ronda Rousey is about to get a life-changing phone call very soon.

(Surprised they didn’t call this one “Beauty and the Beast.”)

On this day in MMA history two years ago Strikeforce held it’s first event headlined by a women’s championship fight. Strikeforce: Carano vs. Cyborg, which featured a bout between Gina Carano and Cristiane “Cyborg” Santos for the inaugural Strikeforce Women’s middleweight (145 pound) championship, took place on Saturday, August 15, 2009 at the HP Pavilion in San Jose, California.

(Unlike the rest of us, the eye candy in the back decided to open her eyes for Cyborg.)

By Jason Moles

While suffering through The Change-Up this weekend, I started thinking about the hypothetical situation of MMA fighters switching bodies. Obviously, one fighter would get the short end of the stick, like in all relationships, but other than that, it’s all good news from there. Imagine the man with a warrior spirit and broken body upgrading for a newer model. Imagine the heavy-duty gas-guzzler being replaced by a tiny, eco-friendly, electric car. Imagine experience and youth joining forces to reign terror on anything that steps in its way. So who most deserves a cinematic body-swap? Read on and find out…

BJ Penn and Brock Lesnar

Advantage: Baby Jay

For years, Penn has been criticized for his lack of self-discipline and willingness to stay in shape. Switching bodies would solve that problem and create what might be the best heavyweight in UFC history. A Nova Uniao Brazilian jiu-jitsu black belt with explosive striking and a granite chin, Penn has everything that Lesnar wishes he had. The Prodigy would be a wrecking ball at heavyweight if he had Brock’s body — as long as the viking took the diverticulitis thing with him. If he had to keep the illness during the switch, then I guess we could all agree that we’d like to see Josh Koscheck trade bodies with Brock.

If you watch MMA long enough, every fight, knockout, and submission begins to look familiar — which makes these classic bouts that much more special.

Wanderlei Silva Wins Via Choke
vs. Bob Schrijber @ Pride Grand Prix 2000 Opening Round, 1/30/00

Though he has two other submission victories on his record due to strikes, Wanderlei Silva has only ended one fight in his 15-year career with a legit, bonafide submission hold. It went down during his third PRIDE appearance against renowned kickboxer Bob Schrijber, in a reserve bout for the 2000 PRIDE GP. After some standup brawling, Wandy secures a takedown, immediately lands in mount, and slugs “Dirty Bob” until the Dutchman is forced to roll. From there, Silva sets up a rear-naked choke — you can tell that grappling’s not really his strong-suit — and eventually gets the tap.

Tito Ortiz Fights Outside of the UFC
vs. Jeremy Screeton @ West Coast NHB Championships 1, 12/8/98

After going 1-1 in his Octagon debut at UFC 13, Tito Ortiz took a tune-up fight at an NHB tournament in Los Angeles. The result was a fast, gnarly, PRIDE-style victory for the future superstar. Screeton shoots in on Ortiz, but the Huntington Beach Bad Boy uses his own formidable wrestling skills to reverse his opponent onto the mat. Two brutal knees to the head later, and Screeton was tapping out the morse code to “get me the fuck out of here.” Ortiz was invited back to the UFC the following month, and has never left. Seriously, we can’t get rid of this guy.

(Video courtesy of YouTube/GinaCaranodotorg)

Last Friday at Comic-Con Gina Carano made a rare media appearance to promote her upcoming starring role in the Steven Soderbergh blockbuster film “Haywire,” which is set to be released in theatres in January 2012.

The interview above with GinaCarano.org was apparently her first since losing to Cris ‘Cyborg’ Santos in 2009.

Check out the full transcription after the jump.

(Video courtesy of Ebaumsworld.)

We often joke about female fighters like Cris Cyborg testing her mettle against men in her weight class, but the chances of it ever happening are slim to none.

That is, unless you live in Brazil, where apparently gender bias doesn’t get in the way of a good scrap.

(Apparently soccer-kicks are now illegal in soccer? It’s a crazy world…)

The 2011 FIFA Women’s World Cup draws to a close on Sunday in Frankfurt, Germany, as the United States meets Japan in the finals. (Kickoff is at 2:45 p.m. ET on ESPN, by the way.) This marks the first time since 1999 that Americans have been psyched about women’s soccer — but we admit, we’re getting caught up in the hype as well.

In honor of our ladies getting ready to run shop on the Japanese, we decided to hold our own international competition, choosing the best female MMA fighter from 10 different countries and ranking them against each other. The first few names will be very familiar — but who’s carrying the flag for Russia, South Korea, and Germany? Read on and find out…

#1. Cristiane “Cris Cyborg” Santos (Brazil)

Record: 10-1
Last fight: Third-round TKO of Jan Finney, 6/26/10
Santos’s inability to find a fight over the last year says a lot about the still-developing state of women’s MMA in this country, as well as her own undisputed position in the 145-pound division. She’s so far ahead of her peers, that no logical challengers even exist.

(Simple solution: Have Cris arm-wrestle Dana for her desired contract)

In spite of a report released yesterday that quoted Cristiane “Cyborg” Santos’ longtime Chuteboxe trainer Master Rudimar Fedrigo as saying that the Strikeforce Women’s Middleweight champion has re-upped with the now Zuffa-owned promotion, a source with knowledge of the situation informed CagePotato.com today that there is in fact no deal in place at this time.

Toughest fight for Crisitane Cyborg so far? Contract negotiations.

Many, many, many moons ago, movie makers were looking to make a sequel to the live action Masters of the Universe movie starring Dolph Lundgren, and film it in North Carolina. Auditions were held for childrens’ roles in Wilmington, and i was one of many (i assume) kids who tried out to be in a movie with He-Man. Alas, the film company had some financial difficulties and the project was scrapped; i never got another chance to be Macaulay Culkin before Macaulay Culkin. The film company had already spent something like 2 milllion dollars producing costumes and sets for the movie, and wanted to re-purpose them to recoup some of the cash they’d put up, so they banged out a script about a dystopian future of plague and anarchy, hired Jean-Claude Van Damme, and that’s how the movie Cyborg came about. All that is 100% true, by the way.

I tell you that because i have no idea how Cristiane Justino Venancio Santos came into existence, although if you told me 2 million dollars, He-Man, surgical bionics augmentation, and JCVD were involved, i’d believe you. Cyborg is just that scary.

Well, Cris “Cyborg” Santos is officially a free agent, which either means that Strikeforce was unwilling to pay her what she felt she was worth, or that Zuffa has decided against continuing to promote women’s MMA under the SF banner. Either way, it’s a blow to the promotion’s women’s division.

A source we spoke to today received confirmation from Cyborg’s management that Zuffa’s exclusive negotiation period with the 10-1 Curitiba, Brazil fighter ended yesterday and that the parent company of Strikeforce and the UFC failed to come to terms with the Strikeforce women’s middleweight champ before she became a free agent at the stroke of midnight.

(Cyborg Santos gives Amanda Lucas a guided tour of the mat)

Since the very beginning of our sport, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu has been a critical component of Mixed Martial Arts competition (spoiler- Royce Gracie wins). Odds are good that unless you’re a diehard republican or an MMA judge, you share at least some appreciation for the subtle art of torquing limbs and rendering folks unconscious. Good news for you- the 2011 Mudials go down this weekend.

Competition in the lower belt rankings began on Thursday. In the video above you can check out Strikeforce’s 145lb women’s champion Cris Santos slam MMA fighter/George Lucas’s daughter Amanda Lucas in every manner possible en route to claiming a gold medal in the purple belt division. It is a little surprising that the most intimidating female fighter on the planet is competing as a purple belt, but not surprising enough that we would ask her about it to her face. ‘Grats to Cyborg for the medal and for finding a way to keep busy while her fighting career is inexplicably left to die on the vine.

Info on how to watch the event is after the break.

(Weird. The “cover your ears and rock back and forth while humming to yourself” defense worked so well in training.)

Inactive and without a fight booked since her squashing of Jan Finney last June, 145-pound Strikeforce women’s champion Cristiane “Cris Cyborg” Santos is desperate to return to competition — so desperate that she had reportedly been negotiating for gigs with the WWE and a Brazilian fight promotion in recent months. Now she’s moved onto the public-pleading stage of her frustration. Here’s what she had to say yesterday via Twitter:

Hi My dear fans, want to fight too soon, but not dependent on me. This very difficult to renegotiate with scott. They’re not appreciating all I did for the event. I am very sad, but I will not give up. God has another purpose in my life…Maybe I fight the world jiujtsu not going to be the way you like with many punches…but I will give my best to make you guys like it.

Alright, Cris, here’s the deal…

(Gus. Fucking. Johnson. Pic: LA Times)

It was with a somewhat heavy heart we brought you news recently that women’s middleweight face-wrecker Cristiane “Cyborg” Santos was playing footsie with WWE, assumedly about joining the company’s stable of “divas.” In light of that, we’re pleased to report that Santos tells Tatame this week that she’ll return to the world of legitimate fighting in August … except … not with Strikeforce. From what we’re able to gather from the written report, Cyborg’s contract has expired and she can’t fight in America until she re-ups with SF. Not sure why, maybe some sort of non-compete clause or because there is just no other place for top-level women’s MMA fighters to ply their trade on this god-forsaken continent.

Instead, she’s nearly set to fight at an event in Brazil, against an opponent to be named later. After the jump, Cyborg’s manager elaborates, plus some notes about the return of former UFC middleweight Ivan Salaverry.

(Props: allelbows)

According to MMAWeekly, Strikeforce is working hard to book Sarah D’Alelio as the return opponent for MMA superstar Gina Carano. Though not all parties involved have signed off on the bout at the time of the report, the match would take place on the main card of Strikeforce: Overeem vs. Werdum, June 18th at the American Airlines Arena in Dallas. Fighting out of Olympia, Washington, D’Alelio holds a record of 4-1 (all wins by stoppage), and most recently suffered her first loss in a decision against Julie Kedzie at a Jackson’s MMA Series event in December.

Greg Jackson has been overseeing Carano’s training as she prepares to come back from a 22-month layoff, and so far, he has nothing but nice things to say: “We don’t have any 145ers, and she’s really sweet and really nice. So, those are the things you look for…She’s really talented, she works hard, she does what’s expected, and I’m impressed…As I get to know her more as far as helping her out for the fight, we’ll get to a better sense of it. But, she definitely has all the talent and all the potential in the world.”

Meanwhile, Carano’s old nemesis Cristiane “Cris Cyborg” Santos is still without her next opponent, ten months after her last title defense/squash match against Jan Finney. But as the video after the jump proves, Cris has been keeping herself in ferocious fighting shape…

(“Don’t move, Gina. This is how we’ll get mainstream acceptance.”)

Strikeforce hasn’t announced when  Cristiane “Cyborg” Santos will next defend her belt, and according to the dominant women’s middleweight champion, it’s not because she isn’t ready. It’s because she doesn’t have a contract.

Cyborg told Tatame recently that her contract ran out after her last fight with Jan Finney last June and she hasn’t spoken with Scott Coker and company about re-signing with the recently Zuffa-acquired promotion in the nine months since the bout.

“Currently I don’t have a contract signed, but on my former contract there was something saying that for a year I’m connected to the [promotion] but we might sign a new one.  I believe the fact that the UFC bought Strikeforce is a good thing for women, because we have two years to do a good job and prove them our value —  to prove it to Dana White,” she explains. “I’m not anxious and I’m not worried. I’m happy and I keep on training.”

(Hopefully Amanda doesn’t make Gina reconsider this whole fighting thing like Cyborg did)

If you think Strikeforce is going to give Gina Carano an easy return bout. think again.

According to Tatame, the former Strikeforce women’s featherweight champion will take on Amanda Nunes when the promotion returns to Texas June 18 for an event anchored by a light heavyweight bout between Muhammed “King Mo” Lawal and a yet-to-be-named opponent and the two remaining opening-round heavyweight grand prix bouts between Strikeforce heavyweight champ Alistair Overeem and Fabricio Werdum and Josh Barnett versus Brett Rogers. The news was revealed to the Brazilian MMA news website by Nunes’ manager, who said they are currently in talks with Strikeforce for the bout.

The bout will mark the first fight in close to two years for Carano, who took a break from competition to focus on her burgeoning acting career. She stars as the lead in Steven Soderbergh’s “Haywire,” which opens April 22.

Nunes (6-1) is a tough fighter known for her knockout power, having finished each of her last six opponents by TKO or KO.

It seems like every MMA site and their brother has put out a ranking of hottest MMA wives and girlfriends. For this list, we’re more interested in the couples who would kick the most ass together in a street-fight — or in one of those freaky-ass tag-team MMA bouts. If we’ve left out any notable MMA couples, holler at us in the comments section…

#6: BRANDON AND KERRY VERA

Combined MMA record: 13-6
Status: Married since 2006
Tough cred: Brandon’s career skid in the UFC has culminated in three consecutive losses (though that last one might be overturned). On the bright side, his adorable wife Kerry is currently 2-0 as a mixed martial artist following a successful kickboxing career, including a first-round shellacking of Kim Couture in her Strikeforce debut.

#5. JORGE GURGEL AND ZOILA FRAUSTO

Combined MMA record: 23-8
Status: Just married
Tough cred: Like the Veras, the male half of this couple has had a tough go of it lately, losing four of his last five fights; Jorge will have a chance to redeem himself against Tyler Combs on the preliminary card of Strikeforce: Feijao vs. Henderson on March 5th. Meanwhile, Frausto has established herself as one of the greatest female fighters in the world, grabbing Bellator’s 115-pound title and putting an end to Megumi Fujii’s 22-fight win streak. (She’ll also be returning to action on March 5th, against Karina Hallinan at Bellator 35.) Hopefully that isn’t a problem for Gurgel’s ego.

("I’m not sure what this has to do with the movie, Mr. Spielberg, but if you say Kate Capshaw auditioned topless, I’m cool with it, too.")

Well, it looks like Scott Coker is still under the impression that the former face of his promotion, Gina Carano will be back competing for Strikeforce this year. 

While on MMAFighting.com’s The MMA Hour Monday, Coker said that he’s confident that the former Strikeforce female 145-pound standout who hasn’t fought since losing her strap to Cris "Cyborg" Santos 17 months ago in August of 2009 will make her much-anticipated return before the end of 2011 — a lofty claim he made last year as well, that didn’t materialize.

"I believe she’ll be back in the cage this year. From what I know of her, she is a competitor at heart; she’s going to want to fight," Coker told Ariel Helwani. "She’s not going to want to end her career the way it ended. So, I think she’ll be back."

The Cyborg Family – Watch more Funny Videos

Cristiane "Cris Cyborg" Santos and Evangelista "Cyborg" Santos — aka The Most Violent Couple on Earth — have been hard at work at their new Chute Boxe Team Cyborg gym, which they operate out of Cleber Luciano’s school in Huntington Beach. CagePotato West Coast correspondent Ruben Vera recently caught up with them to get an update on their lives inside and outside of the cage.

Neither fighter knows who their next opponent will be in Strikeforce, but they’re both training hard just in case an offer comes along. In a perfect world, Evangelista would get rematches with Gegard Mousasi and Melvin Manhoef. Cris doesn’t care who she fights because she doesn’t have anything personal against anybody — even Erin Toughill, who keeps calling her out. ("Even a bird can talk," Cris says.) Though she would be happy to go up in weight in fight Erin’s big ass, if it came to that.

As for their domestic life, Evangelista claims to do most of the cooking at home, and all of the cleaning. "Never clean!" Cris admits. In a fight between them, Cris would win because Evangelista would never hit a woman. On their iPods, Evangelista jams out to an audiobook of the Bible. Cris prefers "Waka Waka."

(Props: Card/homo sapient)

Remember when ESPN: The Magazine featured a semi-nude Gina Carano in their inaugural "Body Issue" last year? (Answer: Sure you do.) Well, they’re at it again this year, with a new pack of pro athletes stripping down for your amusement. Representing MMA this time around are Cristiane "Cris Cyborg" Santos, her husband Evangelista "Cyborg" Santos, and Herschel Walker. What the hell? Was Miesha Tate unavailable? Since that Playboy rumor never came to fruition, these pictures of Cristiane and Evangelista are the closest you’ll get to seeing Cris Cyborg naked in a magazine, if you’re into that sort of thing. The rear-view is after the jump. If you want to see Herschel Walker naked, you’re on your own.

(The moral of the story? When Gina Carano does it, it’s awesome. When Paulo Filho does it, it’s terrible. / Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.com)

Anybody can be forgiven for missing weight by a half-pound — as long as it doesn’t become a habit. But when an MMA fighter comes in a full four pounds heavy, as Efrain Escudero did this week for his doomed UFC Fight Night 22 bout against Charles Oliveira, it tends to raise some eyebrows. As we’ve done previously with steroid busts, we decided to catalog the worst scale-fails in MMA history, arranged by number of pounds over the limit. When the information was available, we also listed the punishments the fighters were given, along with their excuses for missing weight, which range from injuries to salt water to the dreaded “menstrual period.” This is by no means a definitive list — but we’d like it be, eventually. So if you know of any other occasions where fighters missed weight by four pounds or more, or missed weight for multiple fights, please let us know in the comments section.

* Note: We’ve eliminated the “Repeat Offenders” section. In the instances where fighters has notably missed weight on more than one occasion (see: A. Johnson, P. Daley, T. Alves), we’ve ranked them in the leaderboard by their greatest weigh-in failure.

Karl Knothe @ Shark Fights 17
Weigh-in date: 7/14/11
Weight: 253.75 pounds, 23.75 over the 230-pound catchweight limit
How is that even possible? Due to some miscommunication between Knothe and his management, Knothe was never informed that his scheduled bout against Ricco Rodriguez was supposed to be at a catchweight, instead of at heavyweight.
Result: The Texas Department of Licensing and Regulation disallowed Knothe from competing due to the large weight-gap and concerns over excessive weight-cutting. Knothe was paid a portion of his salary anyway, while Ricco Rodriguez instead faced 5-12 replacement Doug Williams. Rodriguez won via rear-naked choke in the first round.

Ricardo Mayorga @ Omega MMA: Battle of the Americas
Weigh-in date: 5/2/13
Weight: 175.9 pounds, 20.9 pounds over the limit for his contracted lightweight match against Wesley Tiffer, who came in at 153. Needlessly to say, shoving ensued.
How was this fight even allowed to happen?: The match took place in Managua, Nicaragua — which is Mayorga’s hometown, by the way — and the Nicaraguan combat sports commission that was overseeing the event didn’t seem to have a problem with the ludicrous weight discrepancy. (I hear they’re much more stringent when it comes to cock-fighting.)
Result: Mayorga by TKO after two rounds, aided by a fairly illegal knee to the spine. Stay classy, Ricardo.

(Todd S.)

(Adam F.)

Thanks to everybody who submitted entries for our first-ever Facebook photoshop contest! Y’all gave us some legit LOL’s, for real. And if we could give CagePotato t-shirts to all of you, we totally would, but instead we’re just going to choose our eleven favorites, which continue after the jump. If your work has been posted, hit up contest@cagepotato.com with your shirt size and address, and we’ll get you sorted. We hope your summers are going this well…

(Okay Cung, you got your revenge on Scott Smith. We all saw it. There’s no need to rub it in by levitating. Photo courtesy of the "Fedor vs. Werdum Photos" gallery on MMAFighting.com.)

The Potato Index has been chewing its nails and tapping its feet since Saturday night, just waiting for the chance to throw out some arbitrary numerical rankings at Fedor vs. Werdum. And now, the moment has arrived. Don’t mess it up, Potato Index. Please, for the love of God, act like you’ve been there before.

Fabricio Werdum +1,089
Any time you can accomplish something that’s never been done before, it’s a good day. Werdum stopped an unbeatable legend — quickly, we might add — and brought some glory back to BJJ. No matter what happens next in his career, Vai Cavalo will go down in history. And honestly, it couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy. Look how happy he is!

Fedor Emelianeko -113 
Fedor’s fight instincts are what set him apart from mere mortals, and have gotten him out of many a jam during his career, but they failed him on Saturday. He thought he had Werdum hurt and went in for the kill, but Werdum was playing possum, and seized on his first opportunity to hit the mat. Fedor could have played it safe against a superior grappler — he could have let Fabricio up so he could slug him some more — but that’s not what Fedor does, and that’s not why we love him. The loss only proves that Emelianenko is not literally invincible. It doesn’t affect his status as the greatest heavyweight of all time.

Brock Lesnar and Shane Carwin +99, each
I know, these guys weren’t even at the show. But now their fight at UFC 116 will determine the #1 heavyweight fighter in the world on most ranking lists, simply by default. Next step: Unifying the WAMMA title.

Cris Cyborg post-fight interview – Watch more Funny Videos

Our buddy Brian D’Souza was on the scene at Strikeforce: Fedor vs. Werdum, and got us this exclusive video interview with 145-pound women’s champ Cristiane "Cris Cyborg" Santos, who put on another vicious striking performance en route to a 2nd-round KO against Jan Finney. Cyborg explains that she thought the fight should have been stopped earlier, and wasn’t troubled by Finney’s strikes because she used to training with men. She plans to get back into training and prepare for her next opponent — possibly Erin Toughill according to Scott Coker, even though Erin shot down that idea in March. But will anybody be prepared for Cyborg?

("Pucker Up." PicProps: Strikeforce)

Cung Le won. Cyborg won. Josh Thomson won. Also, Frank Shamrock retired, which we were led to believe mattered in some way.

CagePotato’s inaugural “Holy Crap, We Take Back Everything We Said About You Yesterday” award has absolutely, unequivocally got to go to Jan Finney for taking a hellacious beating from 145-pound female champion Cris “Cyborg” Santos. Finney came up in weight and into the fight with a less-than-stellar professional record, but she took everything Cyborg had (and maybe then some) before finally succumbing to a belated second-round TKO. Let us say for the record that if Strikeforce fires Finney without giving her at least one more fight, there is no justice in this world. What’s the company planning to do with the winner of that upcoming Sarah Kaufman vs. Roxanne Modafferi bout, anyway?

On a personal note: Jan, it may not be politically correct or anatomically accurate for us to say this, but you are one tough son of a bitch.

(Damn, what an unflattering picture of Werdum. It’s just one of those things where the camera catches you at the exact wrong moment, and you wind up making a strange expression that you’d never make again in a million–OH SHIT. / Photo courtesy of M-1Global.com.)

Look, we’re all still a little emotional from USA’s World Cup exit this afternoon, and the only cure is bloodshed. Luckily, Fedor Emeliananko returns to the Strikeforce cage tonight at the HP Pavilion in San Jose against Fabricio "Grappler’s Chance" Werdum, while Cris Cyborg will be tearing apart some random blonde woman. Plus, Scott Smith and Cung Le re-do their last fight for the hell of it, former lightweight champ Josh Thomson tries to rebound against Pat Healy, and an MMA legend might announce his retirement.

Round-by-round results from the "Fedor vs. Werdum" Showtime broadcast will be piling up after the jump beginning at 10 p.m. ET; refresh your browser every few minutes for all the latest. (The show is delayed on the West Coast, so beware of spoilers.) And yes, "Tucson" is misspelled on Fedor’s t-shirt in the above photo, but that’s what happens when you do all your shopping at consignment shops in Stary Oskol. Humble guy, this Last Emperor.

(Just another day at the office for Jan Finney. The terrifying, potentially life-threatening office. PicProps: Strikeforce)

When staring down the barrel of your own imminent demise, there are a couple of different ways you can play it. You can dig your heels in and fight every step of the way as the guards physically drag you out of your cell and down the hall to the execution chamber, or you can handle things a little more like Gary Gilmore: Grinning into the scowling faces of the poor bastards on the firing squad and shouting, “Let’s do it!”

Jan Finney, to her credit, seems to be opting for the latter approach.

Finney doesn’t appear the least bit bothered by the fact she’s jumping up in weight to take on the most dominant female fighter on the planet, that the oddsmakers see her as a near-historic underdog or that Strikeforce says she’ll likely be fired if she doesn’t have a “good showing” against Cris “Cyborg” Santos tonight. In fact, Finney – whose nickname, by comparison, is “Cuddles” – thinks it’s hilarious.

(VidProps: ShoSports/YouTube)
 
The above video gives you a look at the final product of that promo shoot we showed you a couple days back and the results seem, well, just as generic as we feared. As it turns out, the road to the probable destruction of Jan Finney and Fabricio Werdum will be paved in fireballs and misting sleet and Fedor Emelianenko will try to get as much mileage as possible out of that pair of nondescript black athletic shorts. Meanwhile the bass baritone voice of former Crash Test Dummies lead singer and current Strikeforce play-by-play man Gus Johnson – the voice certain CP editors hear in their dreams before they wake up screaming “My name’s Al Harris and I get buckets!” – will prattle on about legends and destiny and history or some such similar bullshit.

It appears that Strikeforce is going the extra mile to make Finney look both attractive and credible, though at least one of those concepts seems like a major stretch. Likewise, the only people giving Werdum much of a shot are Fedor himself, Renato “Babalu” Sobral and one of my co-workers at The Rumble. An extremely scientific internet poll of fans conducted by The Junkie shows just 13 percent of y’all think the 6-foot-4 jiu jitsu ace can pull the upset. Frankly, I’d hate to see the numbers on Finney.

After the jump,  some final thoughts from Fedor about why fighting him seems to be career suicide for his opponents and a few snapshots of the official weigh-in featuring the ubiquitous Rockstar Girls, just to get your Saturday started right …

(Jan’s hair was done by her mortician. He figured, "hey, why not get a head-start." / Props: Esther Lin for Strikeforce)


Journeywoman Jan "Cuddles" Finney (8-7) throws the dice on a real long-shot this Saturday as she steps up to take on 145-pound queen Cristiane "Cris Cyborg" Santos (9-1) at Strikeforce: Fedor vs. Werdum. Finney describes MMA as a "hobby" that compliments her day-job as a personal trainer, but warns fans not to sleep on her: "I’m going to come right back at her. I’m not going to cower away. I’m probably going to be one of the strongest opponents she’s faced. I’m not saying I’m as strong as her, but you never know — I might be…I have a few tricks up my sleeve. I would also say I’ve got a pretty nice right hand."

After the jump: Fabricio Werdum shows off his size advantage against Fedor Emelianenko.