("Down in the Tremé / just me and my baby / we’re all throwin’ armbars / AND PUNCHIN’ AND HAVIN’ FUN!" Props: WatchKalibRun)

Just a quick update for all you MMA FightPicker players: Head over to fightpicker.cagepotato.com right now to make your predictions for the main card matches at this Saturday’s Strikeforce show. We’ll assume that you don’t really care about the preliminary card, so we’ll keep this week’s batch of questions short and sweet. Do any of you have the balls to pick an upset in Emelianenko vs. Werdum or Cyborg vs. Finney? How do you see the Scott Smith/Cung Le rematch playing out? Review the questions below, then head over to MMA FightPicker when you think you have it all figured out…

– Fedor Emelianenko vs. Fabricio Werdum @ ‘Strikeforce: Fedor vs. Werdum’: Who will win?
– Will Emelianenko vs. Werdum end in a submission?
– Cris Cyborg vs. Jan Finney: Who will win?
– Will Cyborg vs. Finney end in a first round KO/TKO?
– Which fight will be shorter: Emelianenko vs. Werdum or Cyborg vs. Finney?
– Scott Smith vs. Cung Le: Who will win?
– Who will score the first knockdown: Smith or Le?
– Will Smith vs. Le end in a KO/TKO?
– Josh Thomson vs. Pat Healy: Who will win?
– Will Thomson vs. Healy make it to round 3?

* Note: We originally included the scheduled undercard fight between Ron Keslar and Magomed Shikshabekov in this week’s FightPicker pools, but Shikshabekov is off the card due to visa troubles, so we added another question related to Thomson/Healy. Please edit your pools if necessary.

The Lowercase a-Team – Watch more Funny Videos
(Another gem from our friends at Break.com, in honor of The A-Team’s release this Friday. Remember, there are no little roles, just little people. Do what tiny Rampage says and follow Break on Twitter.)

– ‘King’ Mo Lawal Comments on Training Sessions with James Toney (MMAFighting)

– Let’s Hope Jan Finney Is Training as Hard as Cyborg in This Clip (MiddleEasy)

- Fedor Emelianenko, M-1 Global and Strikeforce headed to Pay-Per-View (Five Ounces of Pain)

- Inside the Life of Chuck Liddell (MMA Scraps)

- UFC Grants Dan Miller Another Chance (Heavy.com/MMA)

– Pat Curran Is On MMA’s Fast Track (FightMagazine)

– ‘UFC Undisputed 2010′ Off to a Slow Start (WatchKalibRun)

– Enter this week’s UFC 115 pools on MMA FightPicker! (fightpicker.cagepotato.com)

(Remember this face — because it might not look the same after next month. Props: MMABigShow.com)

As we mentioned this weekend, Cris Cyborg will be returning to the cage next month against Jan "Cuddles" Finney. You may be asking yourself, "Why is Strikeforce making their 145-pound women’s champ fight some broad named Cuddles who I’ve never heard of?" Fair enough. So let’s run through the checklist…

– Is she a natural 145-pounder? Of course not. Finney has competed around 135 pounds for most of her career, which would make her a more logical opponent for Strikeforce’s 135-pound champ Sarah Kaufman, who could also use a fight.

– Does she have a winning record? Just barely! Finney’s record stands at a shaky 8-7, though she has won her last four fights.

– Has she faced top competition? Definitely. She’s gone toe-to-toe with Miesha Tate, Erin Toughill, Shayna Baszler, and Julie Kedzie (three times), and has lost to all of them. She was scheduled to face Gina Carano at Dynamite!! USA in June 2007, but Carano had to withdraw from the fight due to illness.

– So wait, why is this fight happening? [shrugs]

Videos of Finney in action are after the jump…

(Looks like somebody took a wrong turn on the way to the Cirque du Soleil show. Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.)

Don’t ask us to explain it, but whenever fighters and fans get together for a group photo, at least one person has to raise their fist like a tough guy. But instead of dropping the ban-hammer on this bizarre phenomenon, we decided to compile the most ridiculous, hilarious, and straight-up awesome MMA fighter fist-pose photos that we could find. If we left out any of your favorites, please shoot us some links in the comments section…

("Hey, hey, one at a time, I’m not that kind of boy.")

(Seriously, Guy-on-the-Right. What the hell have you been eating?)

(Props: KahL-One)

Though putting it together nearly killed him, our buddy Kahleem Poole has completed a video tribute to Wanderlei Silva that might be the best Axe Murderer-highlight we’ve ever seen. Not only is the fight footage edited together in an unconventional way (diggin’ those split screens), but it also gives a sense of the warm-hearted person that Wandy is when he’s not trying to destroy his opponents. The climactic montage of his late-career losses from 5:00 to 5:42 isn’t played for sympathy; defeat waits for every warrior. Check it out.

After the jump: A quick ‘n’ dirty look at Cristiane Santos‘s reign of terror.

(Looks like somebody forgot to "put that little extra in there."  Photo courtesy of The Sun.)

Now that we’ve relaunched our t-shirt giveaways, it’s like a hot load of reeking chum has been tossed into the water with you blood-crazed commenting-sharks. Y’all brought it hard this week, until we really didn’t want it anymore, and we were just waiting for you to finish so we could get some sleep. (So to speak.) Moving on…

mynameisalsoben on "Mark Coleman Has Been Going Through Some Times, Brother":
C’mon we shouldn’t be surprised here…Mark’s always been known to have a small gas tank.

mma samurai on "Herschel Walker’s MMA Debut Has Only Emboldened Jose Canseco":
What’s Canseco talking about? Cyborg is the real bad boy of sports.

Viva Hate on "Completely Unnecessary Rematch Alert: Wes Sims vs. Tim Sylvia II":
Loser needs to retire and the winner needs to retire.

And finally, the audience award for Comment of the Week:

steampunk22 on "The New York Times Attempts to Find Out Why Jesus Didn’t Tap":
Why am I not surprised? The church has been trying to tap young boys for the last thousand years!

If your name has been called, please e-mail feedback@cagepotato.com with your real name, address, and shirt size, and we’ll get a CagePotato Devil Horns shirt out to you soon. (Disclaimer: CagePotato.com’s definition of "soon" may be very different from your own.)

("Nice flower-tattoo, cupcake. I just got a tattoo of the Virgin Mary being ripped apart by pitbulls, directly on my asshole." / Photo courtesy of Strikeforce. More pics are below, including one of an alarmingly fat Wes Sims.)

Tonight’s Strikeforce event at the BankAtlantic Center in Sunrise, Florida (aka "Miami") has such a fantastic mix of high-level MMA and can’t-look-away freak shows. On the top of the card you’ve got Nick Diaz battling for Strikeforce’s vacant welterweight title against head-kickin’ rising star Marius Zaromskis, while 145-pound lady-champ Cristiane "Cris Cyborg" Santos makes her first belt defense against Dutch submission artist Marloes Coenen. On the other end of the card, 47-year-old former football star Herschel Walker will kick off his cage-fighting career against Greg Nagy, while Wes Sims — who owns the physique of a 47-year-old — will do his best to avoid getting squashed by pro-wrestler Bobby Lashley. And somewhere in-between, Robbie "Brawler" Lawler and Melvin "Man-Hoof" Manhoef will launch leather at each other until one of them can no longer intelligently defend himself. If you’re not excited for this card, then you probably don’t use words like "excited" in general. Live results from the Showtime broadcast will be piling up after the jump, starting at 10 p.m. ET. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest.

Update: Dubus22 wins the t-shirt! Please send your name, address, and size to feedback@cagepotato.com.

(Props: Showtime via MiddleEasy)

It took their lazy asses two full months, but Strikeforce has finally released the video of Marloes Coenen‘s rematch with Roxanne Modafferi, which was part of the unaired preliminary card at Strikeforce: Fedor vs. Rogers. Though Modafferi was able to grind out a split-decision victory when she first fought Coenen in the finals of an eight-woman K-Grace tournament in May 2007, their last meeting was a 65-second pwnage by Marloes, who used razor-sharp striking to drop Modafferi before methodically setting up an armbar. With her Strikeforce debut an unqualified success and her reputation growing in the States, the good-lookin’ Golden Glory product will now challenge for Cristiane "Cris Cyborg" Santos‘s 145-pound belt on January 30th. Any predictions?

You didn’t think we were going to let another calendar year run out without paying homage to this year’s big winners and mocking the year’s biggest idiots, did you?  Naw son, that’s not our style.  2009 was an eventful year with plenty of ups and downs, but after casting our ballots and tallying up the votes (there’s only two of us, so it really shouldn’t have taken as long as it did, but there was a lot of yelling and a little crying) we have some awards to give out.  The envelopes please…

Fighter of the Year: Fedor Emelianenko

The year was not without disappointments for the sweatered one.  He missed a chance to fight Josh Barnett and walked away from another chance to sign on with the UFC.  All the same, he reinforced his status as one of MMA’s most dominant fighters with knockouts of Andrei Arlovski and Brett Rogers.  Meanwhile, Anderson Silva had one snoozer and one great fight out of his weight class, while GSP beat a lightweight and won a decision to retain his title.  Sorry boys, Fedor’s 2009 was way more fun.

Beatdown of the Year: Anderson Silva vs. Forrest Griffin

"The Spider" didn’t just beat FoGriff, he straight-up violated him.  It’s one thing to do that against a woefully outmatched challenger in your own weight class, but quite another to do it to a former champ from the division above yours.  Never have we seen such a clear demonstration of the vast chasm between good and great as we did on that night.  You can hardly blame Griffin for running out of the Octagon after that.  We’re sort of amazed that he waited until the fight was over to do it.

("I’m gettin’ too calm and emotionless for this shit." Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

— Though it was initially rumored that Fedor Emelianenko could be out-of-action for 4-6 months due to a jacked-up left thumb he suffered in the first round of his fight against Brett Rogers, his condition has been upgraded. Sherdog reports that the Last Emperor underwent surgery yesterday to fix his injury, and will have a half-cast removed in just 4-6 weeks:

— Cristiane "Cris Cyborg" Santos is expected to make her first Strikeforce title defense against Marloes Coenen on January 30th in Miami, according to MMA Weekly. Santos was originally slated to compete on last Saturday’s "Fedor vs. Rogers" card, but her return was pushed back after she suffered an injury during the 2009 ADCC‘s in September.

Interview With MMA Fighter Marloes Coenen – Watch more Funny Videos

Two days after we were introduced to the new-hotness that is Marloes Coenen, I had the opportunity to be charmed by her in person. The Golden Glory veteran’s domination of Roxanne Modafferi at Fedor vs. Rogers secured her shot at Cris Cyborg‘s 145-pound Strikeforce title, though Coenen was pretty much the last to find out. In the above quickie-interview, Coenen discusses how she matches up with Cyborg, and her eerily focused demeanor before a fight. (You kind of had to be there — hopefully the video will emerge at some point.) Will Marloes be able to exploit her grappling advantage over Cristiane Santos when they meet up in January?

(Nobody makes Jacare bleed his own blood.)

Details are beginning to emerge about Strikeforce’s next big card, which is slated to take place December 19th at their familiar haunts in San Jose’s HP Pavilion. Though a headlining bout is still in the works, the event — dubbed "Evolution" — will reportedly feature…

— A middleweight bout between jiu-jitsu specialist Ronaldo "Jacare" Souza and old-schooler Matt Lindland. Souza is coming off his chaotic no-contest rematch against Jason Miller, while Lindland hasn’t competed since he was added to Vitor Belfort’s highlight reel at Affliction: Day of Reckoning. The winner of Souza vs. Lindland seems like a logical choice to challenge the winner of Saturday’s Jake Shields vs. Jason Miller fight for Strikeforce’s brand-new middleweight title.

(You know, without his beard, Kimbo kind of looks like Reginald VelJohnson. Props to CagePotato reader ‘DopenesS’.)

It’s weeks like these that prove how unbelievably smart, funny, and cultured CagePotato’s readers are, in comparison to the slack-jawed readers of other MMA websites. Seriously, we love you guys (no homo). Here are three highlights from a wild week in the trenches of the CP comments sections…

whitey on "Strikeforce News Roundup: Cris Cyborg Injured, Bobby Lashley Negotiating + More":
if only Da Vinci was alive to see his vision of the perfect man in flesh and bone

K.E.G. on "Gina Carano Semi-Nudity to Hit Newsstands on 10/9":
Hopefully they will leave out the obvious pages on…
-Tra telligman’s weird chest.
-Josh Haynes’s extra skin
-Jacare’s vagina head
-Kimbo’s beard/manscaped chest hair
-Cyborg’s penis
-Tito’s massively swollen head
-Kaleb Starnes’s vagina

After the jump: A strong front-runner for comment of the year…

("Hug me or I’ll kill your entire family.")

According to an MMA Junkie report, Cristiane "Cris Cyborg" Santos may not be available to defend her 145-pound title at Strikeforce’s November 7th "Fedor vs. Rogers" event because of an injury, apparently suffered during her participation in the 2009 ADCC tournament in Barcelona. Said her manager, Richard Wilner: "It’s unlikely that Cris will be fighting on [Nov. 7] but still possible. I’m awaiting her return from Spain to get her assessed by a doctor here. Out of respect to Strikeforce, CBS and Cris’ potential opponent, we alerted them to this issue early so as not to interfere with pre-production, preparation, etc." When Santos does make her return, her first opponent is expected to be Dutch submission specialist Marloes Coenen. In other Strikeforce news…

(Braulio Estima vs. Xande Ribeiro in the men’s absolute finals. For more ADCC videos, check out YouTube.com/sourceBJJ.)

The level of Brazilian domination at the 2009 Abu Dhabi Combat Club Submission Wrestling World Championship was, as they might say, absolutely hidiculous. Brazilian grapplers swept every single division at the two-day event, which was held Saturday and Sunday at the Palau Municipal d’Esports de Badalona in Barcelona, Spain. Complete results are below; props to MMA Mania.

Day 1, 9/26/09

Men’s +99kg (+218 lbs.) Opening Round
Fabricio Werdum (Brazil) def. Rogent Lloret (Spain) via kimura
Tomasz Janiszewski (Poland) def. Antoine Jaoude (Brazil) via points
Romulo Barral (Brazil) def. Denis Roberts (Australia) via heel hook
Saulo Ribeiro (Brazil) def. Kouji Kanechika (Japan) via points
Jeff Monson (USA) def. Karol Bedorf (Poland) via points
Janne-Pekka Pietiläinen (Finland) def. Tom Erikson (USA) via heel hook
Roberto “Cyborg” Abreu (Brazil) def. Tom De Blass (USA) via points
Asa Fuller (USA) def. Mike Matell (Canada) via armbar

Men’s +99kg (+218 lbs.) Quarter-Finals
Fabricio Werdum (Brazil) def. Tomasz Janiszewski (Poland) via points
Saulo Ribeiro (Brazil) def. Romulo Barral (Brazil) via points
Jeff Monson (USA) def. Janne-Pekka Pietiläinen (Finland) via points
Roberto “Cyborg” Abreu (Brazil) def. Asa Fuller (USA) via points

(Props: FightHype via MMA Fanhouse)

3:17-3:44:

Good to hear it, Tito. If you didn’t end up choking out that 145-pound woman we would have thought you were a pussy or something…

After the jump: Brock Lesnar endures the notoriously brutal strength and conditioning training at Athletic Performance Inc. in Minneapolis. This might be your only chance to see what Lesnar looks like when he’s completely broken down and exhausted. Brock’s post-workout nutrition plan? Burgers and waffle-fries, bitch.

(Highlights from the 2007 ADCC tourney. For part 2, click here.)

The ultra-prestigious invitation-only Abu Dhabi Combat Club Submission Fighting World Championships — which takes place every two years — kicks off September 26th in Barcelona, with a host of familiar names in the brackets. Read on to see who will be battling for the biggest bragging rights in the grappling world during the upcoming 2009 edition. Props to Fightlinker and Japan MMA for the tips…

Female -60kg:
Kyra Gracie, Brazil (2007 women’s -59kg winner)
Sayaka Shioda, Japan (2007 women’s -55kg winner)
Megumi Fujii, Japan
Michelle Tavares, Brazil
Laurence Cousin, France
Ina Steffensen, Denmark
Hillary Williams, USA
Luanna Alzuguir, Brazil

Female 60kg+:
Hannette Staack, USA (2007 women’s Absolute and -67kg winner)
Penny Thomas, USA (2007 women’s 67kg+ winner)
Hitomi Hiraiwa, Japan
Rosângela Conceição, Brazil
Ida Hansson, Sweden
Shanti Abelha, Denmark
Lana Stephanac, USA
Cristiane "Cris Cyborg" Santos, Brazil

(Props: ShoSports)

Twelve days after her crushing loss to Cris Cyborg — and subsequent disappearance from the cage — Gina Carano took to her MySpace blog to begin the healing process. Yes, she’s still alive, and yes, she plans on rebounding from the first defeat of her career:

(Cyborg, reppin’ her set. Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.)

Not only did Cristiane "Cris Cyborg" Santos‘s drubbing of Gina Carano at the last Strikeforce event bring heaps of attention to women’s MMA, but it also made Chute Boxe relevant again. Though the Brazilian fight camp used to be a fearsome presence in the PRIDE era, it fell out of favor as its biggest stars all left to start their own teams. Now, Cris Cyborg is one of the most compelling champions in the sport, and Chute Boxe founder Rudimar Fedrigo is rewarding her with her own school. As he told Portal das Lutas:

Could we see a rebirth of Chute Boxe’s axe-murdering brawl-’til-you-fall style in the U.S.? And with Cris Cyborg as the face of the camp in America, will other female fighters be lured to Chute Boxe? No American MMA team is specifically known for producing great women fighters. It’ll be interesting to see if the Cyborgs recognize this opportunity and seize it.

(Nine months later, Cris gave birth to a litter of wolverines. Photo courtesy of YorkBlog.com.)

Wow, TGIF you guys, amirite? We might as well give away some obsolete t-shirts. (Don’t worry, a new design is in the works. These things take time.) This week’s big winners are…

Sneaky Pete on "Scott Coker Viciously Punk’d by Cris Cyborg": Of all the parties involved with the prank, I think the hypothetical baby was the most relieved.

agentsmith on "Mitsuhiro Ishida Claims Gilbert Melendez Was Greasy": I’m reserving judgement on this matter until I hear what Ishida’s mother has to say.

And finally, a "Classic MMA Moments Recreated in MS Paint" submission that hits very close to home…

(Submission savant Megumi Fujii. Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

When "Carano vs. Cyborg" pulled in 856,000 viewers on Showtime, it proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that there could be a market for women’s MMA outside of Japanese all-girl leagues and one-off fights in the U.S. Strikeforce and Bellator are both planning high-profile women’s tournaments, and 2010 could be the year that women finally gain some measure of equality in the sport. In honor of the coming revolution, we’ve launched a top 5 women’s pound-for-pound list in our Power Rankings section; get to know these warriors below, and let us know what you think.

*****

1: Megumi Fujii (18-0)
Armed with grappling credentials that include two BJJ championships at the Pan American Games and nine All-Japan Sambo titles, Fujii has tapped 15 of her 18 opponents during her five-year MMA career, and outpointed the other three. Her relentless, inventive ground attack is reminiscent of Kazushi Sakuraba in his prime, and at just 115 pounds, the 35-year-old packs more talent per ounce than any other woman in the world. In a sport where retiring undefeated is a mythical feat, Fujii just might pull it off.
Watch this: Fujii’s "Alive" and "Hurt" highlight reels.

2: Tara LaRosa (17-1)

Though Gina Carano and Cris Cyborg draw more attention, hardcore fans know that Tara LaRosa is the most talented female fighter our country has to offer. The former women’s bantamweight champ of BodogFight, LaRosa has run through a who’s who of U.S. talent including Roxanne Modafferi, Amanda Buckner, Shayna Baszler, and Kelly Kobold. She hasn’t lost since 2003, and she’s finished her last seven fights by stoppage. The word is that she’ll be competing next in a women’s 125-pound tournament for Bellator; if that works out, get ready for a whole new batch of YouTube highlights.
Watch this: Tara LaRosa vs. Shayna Baszler

("Cris? Do you think that maybe *I* could be on top tonight?"
"Get a decent win streak together and we’ll talk." Photo courtesy of MMA Weekly.)

Practical jokes are like knockout punches — they both rely on timing for maximum devastation. Cristiane and Evangelista "Cyborg" Santos understand this better than anybody. Who knows why they’d want to give Strikeforce CEO Scott Coker a heart attack the night before an already cursed event, but  oh boy did they get him:

Too bad we couldn’t be there to see Coker’s reaction. We’re guessing it looked something like this.

("Hey, I’m Gina!" 
"I am the one known as ‘Cyborg’."
"Look, whatever happens tonight, I just want you to know that I have tons of respect for you, and I feel honored to be fighting you."
"I want to kill you so bad, my dick’s hard."
Photo courtesy of this set on CombatLifestyle.)

So who wants to witness some history in the making? Tonight, the curse is lifted, and the most significant women’s MMA fight of all time will take place. (Before that, there will be some men’s MMA matches of varying importance.) Strikeforce: Carano vs. Cyborg results await you after the jump. Refresh the page every few minutes for round-by-round updates and occasional digressions. Warning: The Showtime broadcast is delayed on the west coast, so check your local listings, and if you’re not getting it live, maybe stay away from the comments section for a while, lest you be spoiled.

(For lots more Carano vs. Cyborg weigh-in pics, hit up CombatLifestyle and flickr.com/photos/shosports)

(Props: MMA Fanhouse)

The face of women’s MMA was in fine form at yesterday’s weigh-ins — which is unsurprising, considering Scott Coker was weighing her every day. We’ll be liveblogging the Showtime broadcast of "Carano vs. Cyborg" tonight starting at 10:30 p.m. ET, so swing by and let us know what you think. After the jump: The ultra-slick show-opening video for Carano vs. Cyborg. Deal with it, Gladiator.

If it wasn’t for bad luck, Strikeforce’s upcoming “Carano vs. Cyborg” card wouldn’t have any luck at all. Despite the best intentions, some MMA events are destined to be magnets for injuries, unwelcome surprises, and other bizarre occurrences. But which events have been screwed by fate the hardest? Knock on wood, grab your crotch, and read on…

*****
#10: UFC 67: All Or Nothing, 2/3/07

The aptly-titled “All or Nothing” event was the first UFC pay-per-view in nearly a year to lack a title fight by the time it finally took place.  That’s all the more disappointing when you consider that it had two a couple months out from the event, pitting TUF “Comeback” winners Matt Serra and Travis Lutter against the champions in their respective weight classes.

The first title fight went down the drain when Georges St. Pierre injured his knee during training and had to put off the fight with Serra (and we all remember how that went when it finally happened).  Fortunately they still had Anderson Silva vs. Travis Lutter to fall back on…right?  Only Lutter failed to make weight for his title shot, downgrading his “Rocky” storyline to a “Bad News Bears” one.  Instead they just had themselves a normal old three-rounder, with Lutter holding his own in the first round before getting triangled/elbowed to death in the second. What fun.

#9: UFC 98: Evans vs. Machida, 5/23/09

The event that famously launched “the Machida Era” only included Lyoto as a last resort. Originally, the card was to be headlined by the heavyweight title scrap between Brock Lesnar and Frank Mir, until Mir informed the UFC that he was still recovering from knee surgery. The main event was then changed to a light-heavyweight title fight between Rashad Evans and Quinton “Rampage” Jackson, but Jackson — who had just gone the distance with Keith Jardine two months earlier — bowed out due to lingering hand and jaw injuries. And so, the UFC decided to give a well-deserved light-heavyweight title shot to that weird Brazilian guy with the unibrow.

If you’re Rashad Evans, that would be enough to make this one of the unluckiest fight cards ever. But UFC 98’s string of setbacks extended to the supporting cast as well. Josh Koscheck pulled out of the event due to a broken toe and was replaced by Brock Larson; Koscheck’s scheduled opponent, Chris Wilson, missed the show because of incomplete paperwork. James “Born Under a Bad Sign” Irvin suffered one of his many knee injuries and was replaced by Xavier Foupa-Pokam. Yushin Okami also went down with a dodgy knee and was replaced by Chael Sonnen. And finally, hard-luck-case Houston Alexander broke his hand during training and was replaced by Krzysztof Soszynski. Later, it was discovered that the MGM Grand Garden Arena had been built on an Indian burial ground.

(Props: cnovs13 via Moth2Flame)

When you watch this video of Cristiane "Cris Cyborg" Santos going through some caveman-style training at Advanced Human Movement, you don’t see a woman who’s on the verge of calling for her mommy. Cyborg is a physical dynamo. Check out the 2:39 mark, where she repeatedly picks up her husband Evangelista with a bungee rope harnessed to her back. I don’t know if I could even do that once, and I outweigh Cyborg by a solid 20 pounds of stomach fat. It’s no wonder why the Brazilian is a betting favorite by as much as -200. Anybody plan on taking Gina Carano in this one?

After the jump: Fabricio Werdum gets in a workout at AHM. Werdum will be facing despicable cheater Mike Kyle on the undercard of "Carano vs. Cyborg."

("Side effects may include headache, dry mouth, constipation, and Huttism.")

Strikeforce’s monumental "Carano vs. Cyborg" card may have lost another title fight. Earlier this week, the scheduled heavyweight championship bout between Alistair Overeem and Fabricio Werdum went up in smoke due to Overeem’s infected hand. Now, it appears that the rematch between Nick Diaz and Joe Riggs — which would have decided Strikeforce’s first welterweight champion — could be off as well. According to GracieFighter (via FiveOuncesofPain):

(Props: CageWriter)

Believe it or not, Vitor Belfort‘s trainer Shawn Tompkins says that he and Vitor had been pushing for a fight against Fedor Emelianenko three months ago — and now the opportunity may have dropped in their laps. "It’s Vitor’s way of proving that he is the best pound-for-pound champion," says Tompkins of Belfort’s desire to face the Last Emperor. The Xtreme Couture striking coach tries to convince Steve Cofield that going from Jorge Santiago to Fedor Emelianenko isn’t that big of a stylistic change for Vitor, but acknowledges that Fedor probably isn’t too nervous about the last-minute opponent-switch.

Also, fighting Emelianenko is far from a lost cause: "[Fedor's fight against Andrei Arlovski] really showed a lot of the kink in Fedor’s armor. Whether Fedor believes it or not, he doesn’t deal well with speed, and he doesn’t deal well with getting hit…it’s going to be hard to keep up to Vitor’s pace." And as for their previous refusal to take on Gegard Mousasi at light-heavyweight? Tompkins drops some real-talk on us: "What does Mousasi do for us in America? If Affliction sticks around, we’d like to renew our contract with them, but if they don’t, we want to go to the UFC. Beating Mousasi does nothing for us, getting beat by Mousasi…it’s not good for us at all."

(Props: MMAFightGirls)

From Wednesday’s taping of the 2009 ESPY awards; the face of women’s MMA still cleans up real nice. Woefully uninformed sports site InGameNow.com labeled that last pic "Gina Carano and bodyguard" — though maybe Carano will need one when she meets Cris Cyborg in their Strikeforce title fight on August 15th…

("Ho. Ree. Shit.")

Two comments in particular made us LOFL this week, earning their authors Hall of Fame shirts from our dwindling supply. (Get ‘em while they’re still outdated!) Coincidentally, they were both Cris Cyborg-related…

Dubbs on "Exclusive Photos: ‘Carano vs. Cyborg’ Press Conference in New York City":
IMG_1038: Basic Instinct meets The Crying Game.

PurplePickle on "Kit Cope Says He Has a Gina Carano Sex Tape, Continues to Be a Total Asshole":
I don’t know about this Gina sex tape shit, but I had one of Cyborg Santos on Tivo. It showed Cyborg totally raping the shit out of this little Japanese girl for like nine whole minutes. If you look closely in the background you could see Josh Barnett yelling and cheering. It was fucking sick I tell you. I can’t believe they showed that shit on Showtime. Sad times we live in, sad times.

If you won, please send your name, address, and shirt size to feedback@cagepotato.com. We’ll be passing along your addresses to Mrs. Santos, because she told us she’d really like to visit you guys sometime. How exciting!

ALSO: "Ben vs. Ben" hits the airwaves later today for an encore performance on SIRIUS Fight Club (channel 127, or 104 for XM subscribers), beginning at 6 p.m. ET. Join us as we discuss the major themes coming out of UFC 100′s aftermath, as well as how much Gina Carano’s aforementioned sex tape would be worth to us, hypothetically speaking.