MMA Fighter Challenges People to Punch Him in the Face, Everyone Fails

Tag: Cris Cyborg

Friday Link Dump: Nick Diaz Reveals ‘Canadian Loophole,’ UFC Wants Athletic Commissions to Lighten Up on Weed, Matt Riddle Blasts Dana White + More


(Nick Diaz just released footage of a pretty sketchy situation that he encountered before the UFC 158 weigh-ins. Read more about the so-called “Canadian loophole” right here.)

Marcus Davis Claims Waachiim Spiritwolf Suffered a Panic Attack and Was Never Kneed in the Groin (MiddleEasy)

UFC VP Marc Ratner Asks Commission to Revisit Rules Concerning Marijuana Usage (BleacherReport)

Matt Riddle Says Dana White Is ‘Just a Juice Monkey Who’s Bald, Who Doesn’t Know Sh** About Business’ (stephaniejoplin.com)

Another Team Lloyd Irvin Member Was Charged With Rape in 2008 (BloodyElbow)

Promoters Say MMA Fighter Charles Rowan Faked Death (ESPN)

Does Bigger Mean Better for Anthony Johnson? (MMAFighting)

A Complete History of Players Who Won Both NCAA and NBA Championships (Complex)

March Madness: The 10 Best NCAA Tournament Upsets in History (MensFitness)

Terrible Non-Rap Stuff Made by Rappers (EgoTV)

The Most Amazing Real Life Wilderness Survival Stories (DoubleViking)

The 50 Funniest TV News Captions Ever (WorldWideInterweb)

Ranking The ‘Air Bud’ Films By Plausibility (FilmDrunk)

RIP Black Lululemon Yoga Pants (Break.com)

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With Her Original Opponent Injured, Cris Cyborg to Smash Fiona Muxlow at Invicta FC 5


(“Oh hey, didn’t see you there. When my doctor first informed me that I would be getting murdered by Cris Cyborg this April, I had lots of questions; Is there anything I can do to prevent getting murdered? Would bringing a friend to the fight help my chances? Why me, God, WHYYYY?!“) 

It has recently been announced that Cris Cyborg’s originally scheduled opponent for her Invicta FC debut on April 5th, Ediane Gomes, has been forced to withdraw from their Invicta FC 5 bout with a rib injury. It’s a real shame, because as someone who used to beat up dudes on the Brazilian underground fight circuit (Fallon Fox’s doppelganger, if you will.*fires invisible pistols*), Gomes was being given more than a snowball’s chance in Hell against Cyborg, a privilege few of her opponents have been able to enjoy.

But now, stepping in on short notice against the former Strikeforce women’s featherweight champ will be Fiona Muxlow, a 6-2 grappling specialist out of Queensland, Australia. Originally scheduled to face Julia Budd at the event (who is now awaiting a replacement opponent as of this write up), Muxlow has not competed since dropping a first round armbar to Marloes Coenen at DREAM 18 on New Year’s Eve last year, snapping a three fight win streak in the process.

Although Muxlow is coming off a loss — one she was utterly dominated in at that — and lacks any notable victories, one should look beyond the numbers to see what this woman is truly capable of. For starters, she began her MMA career by submitting three straight opponents in a one night tournament, so we know she’s a finisher and has cardio for days to boot. Secondly, Muxlow has a poker face that will burn a hole right through your soul. That HAS to count for something in this topsy-turvy world, dammit.

Now that Invicta will be implementing “random” drug tests in the near future, does anyone give Muxlow a decent chance against Cyborg, or should we just start prepping the hospital bed?

-J. Jones

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Poster of the Day: Invicta FC Cranks the Photoshop Up to 11 in New ‘Cyborg vs. Gomes’ Ad

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, yet when we stumbled upon this poster for Invicta FC 5 – which goes down on April 5th from Kansas City – we were left with only questions. A few of the most pertinent being:

- At what point during her steroid suspension did Cris Cyborg become the world’s biggest Sons of Anarchy fan? Is Tito the one who convinced her to start emulating Gemma Morrow? [Author's note: I tremble at night thinking what will happen once she stumbles upon Batlestar Galactica.]

- Have DreamWorks and Invicta partnered up? Because the only logical explanation for the amount of Photoshop on this poster is that it is part of a subtle cross-promotion for The Croods

- Why does everyone’s stomach look like Earthworm Jim? Also, does anyone have a copy of Earthworm Jim 3D I can borrow?

- Gun to your head: Cris Cyborg or Fallon Fox?

- Gun to Lloyd Irvin’s head…that’s it.

We’d like to get a little poll going in the comments section, Nation. Which promotion’s poster reigns supreme: The sepia-hued disaster above or King of the Cage’s glorious “Fighting Legends” ad?

-J. Jones

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Invicta FC to Implement Random Drug Testing in Future Events, Cris Cyborg Totally Not Worried About It


(Santos might have had stanozolol coursing through her veins that night, but it was nothing compared to the elevated levels of fabulousness found in Gus Johnson’s post-fight sample. Photo via Jeff Chiu/Associated Press)

If English is your first or even second language, then chances are you had some trouble deciphering Tito Ortiz’s recent press conference in regards to client Cris “Santos” Cyborg’s decision to leave the UFC. The basic gist: Cyborg fighting at 135 is “impossible for her to happen,” and Invicta FC will serve as her feeding grounds for the time being. We just hope the folks over at Invicta know that the Cyborg doesn’t want to be fed, she wants to hunt.

But in a somewhat ironic turn of events, Invicta FC has announced that it will be implementing random drug tests at all future events just two days after signing Cyborg. Via MMAJunkie:

For the first time in its short history, Invicta FC will utilize random drug testing for its upcoming fifth event on April 5. Invicta FC President Shannon Knapp confirmed the news on Sunday evening. Fighters who will be competing in April were informed of the new policy in late January. An independent agency in conjunction with the Missouri Office of Athletics will handle the testing.

The new anti-PED policy will extend to all future Invicta FC events. The promotion is currently fielding offers from a number of independent testing agencies and hopes to confirm its new testing partner later this week. 

So…regretting turning down a spot on Pink Fight MMA’s inaugural card yet, Cristiane?

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Counterpoint: Maybe Tito Ortiz Wasn’t Completely Terrible at Cris Cyborg’s Press Conference [VIDEO]


Okay…my name is Tito Ortiz…my name is Tito Ortiz…*clears throat* “Good afterday. My name is Ito Tortiz.”

If you’re unfamiliar with our “Unsupportable Opinion/Counterpoint” columns, they’re our attempts at taking an issue that most MMA fans are in agreement on and arguing for the other side, even if we don’t necessarily believe anything we’re writing. Sometimes, they’re actually right. Hell, sometimes they’re downright prophetic. Usually, they’re even more wrong than we imagined. Regardless, they’re usually just a way to argue against popular opinion, so try not to call me too many mean names over this column, okay? I’m sensitive, you guys.

Anyways, the general consensus on the latest attempt at public speaking by Tito Ortiz – the press conference he held to announce that Cyborg had signed with Invicta FC – is that it ended predictably. He did fairly well until the part where he had to open his mouth, and then…tragedy.

Video is After the Jump

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Cristiane ‘Cyborg’ Santos Signs With Invicta FC, Will Debut Against Ediane Gomes


Oh, this? It’s just a video of Gomes beating up some random Brazilian guy, no big deal.

Just one week after Cristiane ‘Cyborg’ Santos asked to be released from her UFC contract, the feared Brazilian striker has already found a new home. There was never any doubt as to where Santos would go once leaving the UFC, but yesterday it was announced that Cyborg has officially signed with Invicta FC.

Cyborg will be making her promotional debut at Invicta FC 5 on April 5. Her opponent will be the other scary Brazilian featherweight, Ediane Gomes, who was originally booked to beat the tar out of Julia Budd. Here’s what you need to know about Gomes: She is 10-2 overall, she is riding a four fight win streak, she most recently beat up Hiroko Yamakana in January, and her last loss came by armbar against Ronda Rousey. Oh yeah, and she once beat up a guy in Rio Heroes, yet none of his friends made fun of him for it (see above).

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Gina Carano Talks Her Future in MMA, Ronda vs. Cyborg, And Is Still Cute as a Button [VIDEO]


(Because of its needlessly tall dimensions — you’ll see — we’ve placed the video after the jump.)

Because it has been over three years since Gina Carano has fought, we don’t hear from the former “Face of Women’s MMA” as often as we’d like to, but the fighter-turned-actress was in New Orleans for the Super Bowl over the weekend, and filmed a rare interview with SB Nation in which she tried to clear up whether or not she is actually retired from MMA and what she thinks about the elusive Ronda Rousey vs. “Cyborg” Santos mega-bout.

On being called a current fighter, Carano drew an important distinction. “I haven’t fought in three years and right now I’m focusing on films…that’s what my focus is,” she explained. “I think that if your focus is fighting, then you’re a fighter and that’s not my focus right now.”

“Conviction” wouldn’t close the door on her ever fighting again, however. “You can’t say that.”

“I wake up every morning and I surprise myself. I wake up to a new me. I still train.”

She last sparred about two weeks ago, in fact, and “felt really good.”

Carano went on to say that Rousey deserves the hype and attention, and also called shenanigans on Santos claim that she’d be facing certain death if she were to cut down to 135 pounds — the prerequisite for her fighting Rousey, according to UFC President Dana White. Carano doesn’t believe that Uncle Dana is being unfair to “Cyborg” by making the former 145 pound champ drop down to 135 in order to fight in the UFC and, potentially, against Rousey.

“I don’t think so…she made it down there a lot easier than I made it down there. That’s for Cyborg to figure out,” Gina said.

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Friday Link Dump: Belfort’s Axe-Wound, UFC 156 Fun Facts, Cris Cyborg’s Latest Verbal Assault, And an Oral History of ‘The Super Bowl Shuffle’


(Now it can be told: Vitor Belfort caught this gash in sparring ten days before his fight against Michael Bisping. It needed 20 stitches. Props to reddit_mma for the tip.)

UFC 156 Preview: 25 Fast Facts for ‘Aldo vs. Edgar’ on Feb. 2 in Las Vegas (MMAMania)

With Title Shot Dangling for Overeem, Tension Builds Between Dutch Star and ‘Bigfoot’ (MMAFighting)

Cris Cyborg to Ronda Rousey: ‘Step Up, Bitch’ (BloodyElbow)

TUF 17: UFC Contracts Offered to Every Fighter on Team Jones, Team Sonnen (BleacherReport)

Video: UFC’s Brittney Palmer Talks Art, Fighting & More (TheFightNetwork)

UFC’s Media Battles With Spike/Bellator, Photographers, and Rankings (FightOpinion)

Wrestling Gold Medalist Henry Cejudo Will Make His MMA Debut at Bantamweight (Fightline)

The Biggest Celebration Fails in Sports History (Complex)

4 Extremely Weird World Records You’ll Never Beat (DoubleViking)

Pulp Fiction Almost Starred Daniel Day-Lewis as Vincent Vega (FilmDrunk)

A Gallery of Super ‘Bowl’ Haircuts (WorldWideInterweb)

An Oral History of ‘The Super Bowl Shuffle’ (Grantland)

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Lamb to the Slaughter: Daniel Cormier Opens as an Astonishing -2000 Favorite Over Dion Staring


(Cormier, seen here after placing his life savings on Staring while wearing his lucky spandex.) 

Well, it’s official, Strikeforce is planning to go out with a bang, and by “a bang” we mean “a public execution.” From the very first moment they announced that newly appointed heavyweight champion Daniel Cormier would be facing complete unknown Dion Staring in a non-title affair, we knew that the odds would be astronomically in Cormier’s favor, but -2000?!! MMAFighting’s Shaun Al-Shatti first broke the news via his Twitter:

Wow. Daniel Cormier opens as a -2000, I repeat, -2000 favorite over Dion Staring. Not quite the same as Frank Mir, is it?

This begs one to ask: Is Staring coming into this fight following a recent amputation? He’s a no-namer, sure, but the man also sports a 28-7 record compared to Cormier’s 10-0. Sure, Cormier’s fought a far higher level of opponents in those 10 fights, but at these odds, Staring has a better chance of knocking himself unconscious in the sauna than he does of beating Cormier. Hell, I have a better chance of knocking out Cormier in the sauna then this poor bastard does.

For a little perspective, consider this: Anderson Silva — that would be ten time defending UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva – was favored at around -1350 over Stephan Bonnar. The highest discrepancy in Strikeforce history came when Cris Cyborg fought Jan Finney at Strikeforce: Fedor vs. Werdum, which also topped out around -2000. The highest discrepancy in MMA history (to my knowledge) came when Antonio Rogerio Nogueria fought Sokoudjou at Pride 33 (-2500) — a fight the former ended up losing, by the way.

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Of Course Tito Ortiz is The Reason Cyborg Turned Down Rousey Fight at UFC 157


(Related clip: Tito and Cyborg rolling together in June 2011. Skip to 2:30 to see Cyborg lift Tito like a damsel in distress. Anyway, they’re business partners now. / Props: MMA Heat)

A few heads were scratched when the UFC announced yesterday that UFC 157 would be headlined by Ronda Rousey taking on Liz Carmouche. Rousey’s star is certainly on the rise and is as good a bet as any first-time pay-per-view headliner would be, but Carmouche is relatively unknown outside of hardcore Women’s Mixed Martial Arts circles. and WMMA as a PPV entity is unproven on the whole.

It made more sense once it was revealed that several opponents, including currently suspended former 145-pound champion Cristaine “Cyborg” Santos, had turned Rousey down. The potential Rousey/Santos fight is the biggest women’s match out there, as both have held Strikeforce world titles and have a running feud with one another.

According to White, however, his former friend/client/contracted worker/sworn enemy Tito Ortiz is to blame for Rousey vs. Cyborg not taking place at UFC 157. ”That’s the fight that should be happening,” White said during yesterday’s UFC on Fox pre-event presser in Seattle. “Tito Ortiz is her manager, and he advised against it.”

Well, of course it’s Tito’s fault. It’s been forever since White was able to complain about and blame something on Tito. All must feel right in the world once more for the Baldfather.

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