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21 Humans Who Make Being Human Look Really, Really Hard

Tag: Cris Cyborg

MMA FightPicker Update: ‘Strikeforce: Fedor vs. Werdum’ Pools Now Open

Fedor Emelianenko saxaphone
("Down in the Tremé / just me and my baby / we’re all throwin’ armbars / AND PUNCHIN’ AND HAVIN’ FUN!" Props: WatchKalibRun)

Just a quick update for all you MMA FightPicker players: Head over to fightpicker.cagepotato.com right now to make your predictions for the main card matches at this Saturday’s Strikeforce show. We’ll assume that you don’t really care about the preliminary card, so we’ll keep this week’s batch of questions short and sweet. Do any of you have the balls to pick an upset in Emelianenko vs. Werdum or Cyborg vs. Finney? How do you see the Scott Smith/Cung Le rematch playing out? Review the questions below, then head over to MMA FightPicker when you think you have it all figured out…

– Fedor Emelianenko vs. Fabricio Werdum @ ‘Strikeforce: Fedor vs. Werdum’: Who will win?
– Will Emelianenko vs. Werdum end in a submission?
– Cris Cyborg vs. Jan Finney: Who will win?
– Will Cyborg vs. Finney end in a first round KO/TKO?
– Which fight will be shorter: Emelianenko vs. Werdum or Cyborg vs. Finney?
– Scott Smith vs. Cung Le: Who will win?
– Who will score the first knockdown: Smith or Le?
– Will Smith vs. Le end in a KO/TKO?
– Josh Thomson vs. Pat Healy: Who will win?
– Will Thomson vs. Healy make it to round 3?

* Note: We originally included the scheduled undercard fight between Ron Keslar and Magomed Shikshabekov in this week’s FightPicker pools, but Shikshabekov is off the card due to visa troubles, so we added another question related to Thomson/Healy. Please edit your pools if necessary.

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Wednesday Morning Link Club, Featuring ‘The Lowercase a-Team’


The Lowercase a-Team – Watch more Funny Videos
(Another gem from our friends at Break.com, in honor of The A-Team’s release this Friday. Remember, there are no little roles, just little people. Do what tiny Rampage says and follow Break on Twitter.)

– ‘King’ Mo Lawal Comments on Training Sessions with James Toney (MMAFighting)

– Let’s Hope Jan Finney Is Training as Hard as Cyborg in This Clip (MiddleEasy)

- Fedor Emelianenko, M-1 Global and Strikeforce headed to Pay-Per-View (Five Ounces of Pain)

- Inside the Life of Chuck Liddell (MMA Scraps)

- UFC Grants Dan Miller Another Chance (Heavy.com/MMA)

– Pat Curran Is On MMA’s Fast Track (FightMagazine)

– ‘UFC Undisputed 2010′ Off to a Slow Start (WatchKalibRun)

– Enter this week’s UFC 115 pools on MMA FightPicker! (fightpicker.cagepotato.com)

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Meet Jan Finney, Cris Cyborg’s Next Victim

Jan Finney MMA Cris Cyborg
(Remember this face — because it might not look the same after next month. Props: MMABigShow.com)

As we mentioned this weekend, Cris Cyborg will be returning to the cage next month against Jan "Cuddles" Finney. You may be asking yourself, "Why is Strikeforce making their 145-pound women’s champ fight some broad named Cuddles who I’ve never heard of?" Fair enough. So let’s run through the checklist…

Is she a natural 145-pounder? Of course not. Finney has competed around 135 pounds for most of her career, which would make her a more logical opponent for Strikeforce’s 135-pound champ Sarah Kaufman, who could also use a fight.

Does she have a winning record? Just barely! Finney’s record stands at a shaky 8-7, though she has won her last four fights.

Has she faced top competition? Definitely. She’s gone toe-to-toe with Miesha Tate, Erin Toughill, Shayna Baszler, and Julie Kedzie (three times), and has lost to all of them. She was scheduled to face Gina Carano at Dynamite!! USA in June 2007, but Carano had to withdraw from the fight due to illness.

So wait, why is this fight happening? [shrugs]

Videos of Finney in action are after the jump…

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Photo Gallery: 18 Amazing Fighter Fist-Poses

Quinton Rampae Jackson woman mom fighter fist pose
(Looks like somebody took a wrong turn on the way to the Cirque du Soleil show. Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.)

Don’t ask us to explain it, but whenever fighters and fans get together for a group photo, at least one person has to raise their fist like a tough guy. But instead of dropping the ban-hammer on this bizarre phenomenon, we decided to compile the most ridiculous, hilarious, and straight-up awesome MMA fighter fist-pose photos that we could find. If we left out any of your favorites, please shoot us some links in the comments section…

Chuck Liddell Michael Clark Duncan fighter fist pose
("Hey, hey, one at a time, I’m not that kind of boy.")

guy on the right GSP Georges St. Pierre Kirik group photo
(Seriously, Guy-on-the-Right. What the hell have you been eating?)

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Highlight Videos of the Day: Wanderlei Silva “God of War,” Cris Cyborg “All Hail the Queen”


(Props: KahL-One)

Though putting it together nearly killed him, our buddy Kahleem Poole has completed a video tribute to Wanderlei Silva that might be the best Axe Murderer-highlight we’ve ever seen. Not only is the fight footage edited together in an unconventional way (diggin’ those split screens), but it also gives a sense of the warm-hearted person that Wandy is when he’s not trying to destroy his opponents. The climactic montage of his late-career losses from 5:00 to 5:42 isn’t played for sympathy; defeat waits for every warrior. Check it out.

After the jump: A quick ‘n’ dirty look at Cristiane Santos‘s reign of terror.

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CagePotato Comments of the Week

Mark Coleman UFC
(Looks like somebody forgot to "put that little extra in there."  Photo courtesy of The Sun.)

Now that we’ve relaunched our t-shirt giveaways, it’s like a hot load of reeking chum has been tossed into the water with you blood-crazed commenting-sharks. Y’all brought it hard this week, until we really didn’t want it anymore, and we were just waiting for you to finish so we could get some sleep. (So to speak.) Moving on…

mynameisalsoben on "Mark Coleman Has Been Going Through Some Times, Brother":
C’mon we shouldn’t be surprised here…Mark’s always been known to have a small gas tank.

mma samurai on "Herschel Walker’s MMA Debut Has Only Emboldened Jose Canseco":
What’s Canseco talking about? Cyborg is the real bad boy of sports.

Viva Hate on "Completely Unnecessary Rematch Alert: Wes Sims vs. Tim Sylvia II":
Loser needs to retire and the winner needs to retire.

And finally, the audience award for Comment of the Week:

steampunk22 on "The New York Times Attempts to Find Out Why Jesus Didn’t Tap":
Why am I not surprised? The church has been trying to tap young boys for the last thousand years!

If your name has been called, please e-mail feedback@cagepotato.com with your real name, address, and shirt size, and we’ll get a CagePotato Devil Horns shirt out to you soon. (Disclaimer: CagePotato.com’s definition of "soon" may be very different from your own.)

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‘Strikeforce: Miami’ — Live Results + Commentary

Cris Cyborg Cristiane Santos Marloes Coenen Strikeforce Miami weigh-ins
("Nice flower-tattoo, cupcake. I just got a tattoo of the Virgin Mary being ripped apart by pitbulls, directly on my asshole." / Photo courtesy of Strikeforce. More pics are below, including one of an alarmingly fat Wes Sims.)
Marius Zaromskis Nick Diaz Strikeforce Miami MMARobbie Lawler Melvin Manhoef Strikeforce Miami MMABobby Lashley Wes Sims Strikeforce Miami MMAHerschel Walker Greg Nagy Strikeforce Miami fight MMA photos

Tonight’s Strikeforce event at the BankAtlantic Center in Sunrise, Florida (aka "Miami") has such a fantastic mix of high-level MMA and can’t-look-away freak shows. On the top of the card you’ve got Nick Diaz battling for Strikeforce’s vacant welterweight title against head-kickin’ rising star Marius Zaromskis, while 145-pound lady-champ Cristiane "Cris Cyborg" Santos makes her first belt defense against Dutch submission artist Marloes Coenen. On the other end of the card, 47-year-old former football star Herschel Walker will kick off his cage-fighting career against Greg Nagy, while Wes Sims — who owns the physique of a 47-year-old — will do his best to avoid getting squashed by pro-wrestler Bobby Lashley. And somewhere in-between, Robbie "Brawler" Lawler and Melvin "Man-Hoof" Manhoef will launch leather at each other until one of them can no longer intelligently defend himself. If you’re not excited for this card, then you probably don’t use words like "excited" in general. Live results from the Showtime broadcast will be piling up after the jump, starting at 10 p.m. ET. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest.

Update: Dubus22 wins the t-shirt! Please send your name, address, and size to feedback@cagepotato.com.

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Fight of the Day: Marloes Coenen vs. Roxanne Modafferi II


(Props: Showtime via MiddleEasy)

It took their lazy asses two full months, but Strikeforce has finally released the video of Marloes Coenen‘s rematch with Roxanne Modafferi, which was part of the unaired preliminary card at Strikeforce: Fedor vs. Rogers. Though Modafferi was able to grind out a split-decision victory when she first fought Coenen in the finals of an eight-woman K-Grace tournament in May 2007, their last meeting was a 65-second pwnage by Marloes, who used razor-sharp striking to drop Modafferi before methodically setting up an armbar. With her Strikeforce debut an unqualified success and her reputation growing in the States, the good-lookin’ Golden Glory product will now challenge for Cristiane "Cris Cyborg" Santos‘s 145-pound belt on January 30th. Any predictions?

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The Potato Awards: Best and Worst of 2009

You didn’t think we were going to let another calendar year run out without paying homage to this year’s big winners and mocking the year’s biggest idiots, did you?  Naw son, that’s not our style.  2009 was an eventful year with plenty of ups and downs, but after casting our ballots and tallying up the votes (there’s only two of us, so it really shouldn’t have taken as long as it did, but there was a lot of yelling and a little crying) we have some awards to give out.  The envelopes please…

Fighter of the Year: Fedor Emelianenko

The year was not without disappointments for the sweatered one.  He missed a chance to fight Josh Barnett and walked away from another chance to sign on with the UFC.  All the same, he reinforced his status as one of MMA’s most dominant fighters with knockouts of Andrei Arlovski and Brett Rogers.  Meanwhile, Anderson Silva had one snoozer and one great fight out of his weight class, while GSP beat a lightweight and won a decision to retain his title.  Sorry boys, Fedor’s 2009 was way more fun.

Beatdown of the Year: Anderson Silva vs. Forrest Griffin

"The Spider" didn’t just beat FoGriff, he straight-up violated him.  It’s one thing to do that against a woefully outmatched challenger in your own weight class, but quite another to do it to a former champ from the division above yours.  Never have we seen such a clear demonstration of the vast chasm between good and great as we did on that night.  You can hardly blame Griffin for running out of the Octagon after that.  We’re sort of amazed that he waited until the fight was over to do it.

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Strikeforce News Roundup: Fedor’s Injury Update, Jerry Millen Violates CagePotato Ban + More

Fedor Emelianenko Brett Rogers Strikeforce
("I’m gettin’ too calm and emotionless for this shit." Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

— Though it was initially rumored that Fedor Emelianenko could be out-of-action for 4-6 months due to a jacked-up left thumb he suffered in the first round of his fight against Brett Rogers, his condition has been upgraded. Sherdog reports that the Last Emperor underwent surgery yesterday to fix his injury, and will have a half-cast removed in just 4-6 weeks:

[T]he fighter’s reps said two pins were placed in Emelianenko’s hand to correct the dislocation, and that the bone had not fractured… Emelianenko also said that his nose was not fractured, as was earlier suspected…Emelianenko said he planned to return to training, sans striking, upon his return to Russia later this week. M-1 officials said Emelianenko could headline his second co-promoted Strikeforce card in the first quarter of 2010.

— Cristiane "Cris Cyborg" Santos is expected to make her first Strikeforce title defense against Marloes Coenen on January 30th in Miami, according to MMA Weekly. Santos was originally slated to compete on last Saturday’s "Fedor vs. Rogers" card, but her return was pushed back after she suffered an injury during the 2009 ADCC‘s in September.

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