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Six Other Seth Rogen/James Franco Films That Should’ve Been Canceled

Tag: Cristiane Cyborg Santos

Counterpoint: Maybe Tito Ortiz Wasn’t Completely Terrible at Cris Cyborg’s Press Conference [VIDEO]


Okay…my name is Tito Ortiz…my name is Tito Ortiz…*clears throat* “Good afterday. My name is Ito Tortiz.”

If you’re unfamiliar with our “Unsupportable Opinion/Counterpoint” columns, they’re our attempts at taking an issue that most MMA fans are in agreement on and arguing for the other side, even if we don’t necessarily believe anything we’re writing. Sometimes, they’re actually right. Hell, sometimes they’re downright prophetic. Usually, they’re even more wrong than we imagined. Regardless, they’re usually just a way to argue against popular opinion, so try not to call me too many mean names over this column, okay? I’m sensitive, you guys.

Anyways, the general consensus on the latest attempt at public speaking by Tito Ortiz – the press conference he held to announce that Cyborg had signed with Invicta FC – is that it ended predictably. He did fairly well until the part where he had to open his mouth, and then…tragedy.

Video is After the Jump

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“Cyborg” Santos Year-Long Suspension Upheld by CSAC


(Hiroko’s ‘long-game’ plan is all coming together now | Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle)

Cris “Cyborg” Santos tested positive for banned substances after her December 17th fight last year in California and was subsequently suspended for one year by the state’s athletic commission. Yesterday an appeal from the former 145 pound champion to reduce her suspension to six months was rejected by the California commission.

MMA Weekly reports that Santos’ team was trying to get clearance to fight on a coming StrikeForce card. ”Santos’ appeal was asking for the commission to reduce her sentence from one year down to six months. According to her lawyer, Santos was up for a potential fight on an upcoming Strikeforce show in “late June/early July’ in San Diego,” they wrote.

Ultimately, the CSAC voted unanimously to uphold “Cyborg’s” one year suspension. If things stay that way, she will only be able to re-apply for for a license until December 17th, 2012. It’s been a rough year for MMA’s top female fighter. First she was popped for steroids after her 16 second execution of Hiroko Yamanaka (a win that was then turned to a “No Contest”), and then she announced that her and her husband, the other “Cyborg,” were getting divorced.

Since it might be a long time till you Chute Boxe fans get to see her in action again, we’re putting some highlights of her beating up hapless women (and Tito Ortiz) below for you to enjoy:

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Twitter Beef of the Day: Ronda Rousey Just Signed Her Death Warrant

Ronda Rousey Strikeforce women's MMA photos photos gallery
(Oh, Ronda, you really might want to consider keeping that beautiful mouth shut for a while.) 

Ronda Rousey is a dead woman walking, ladies and gentlemen. In the midst of preparing for her title shot against newly crowned Strikeforce women’s bantamweight champion Meisha Tate, you’d think the Olympic Judoka’s focus would remain solely on the tassk at hand. But apparently Ms. Rousey is taking a book out of Chael Sonnen’s chapter, as she is stirring up some serious shit with former Strikeforce women’s featherweight champion Cristiane Santos.

It all began when “Cyborg” tested positive for steroids in the wake of her 16 second victory over Hiroko Yamanaka, which gave Ronda all the ammunition she needed to lob a hell storm of insults at the former champ. But Cyborg, who was somehow able to find a working computer WITH internet access in Brazil, recently tweeted the following photo as a warning to Rousey:


For those of you who don’t speak Goldbergian Japanese, Cyborg’s tweet reads: Next victim…Ronda!! No mercy!!

Now, where that tweet would have been enough to make most of us kiss our loved ones goodbye and flee the country in fear, it only fueled the fire for Rousey, who responded:

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Scott Coker Viciously Punk’d by Cris Cyborg

Cristiane Cris Cyborg Santos Evangelista MMA Strikeforce
("Cris? Do you think that maybe *I* could be on top tonight?"
"Get a decent win streak together and we’ll talk." Photo courtesy of MMA Weekly.
)

Practical jokes are like knockout punches — they both rely on timing for maximum devastation. Cristiane and Evangelista "Cyborg" Santos understand this better than anybody. Who knows why they’d want to give Strikeforce CEO Scott Coker a heart attack the night before an already cursed event, but  oh boy did they get him:

The Strikeforce promoter is usually calm and cool under the worst of circumstances, and the weeks leading up to the show featured plenty of them, as several matches had to be rearranged for various reasons. But he thought he had a nightmare scenario on his hands the night before the show.
 
At about 9:30 p.m. on Friday night, on a show where every major match but the main event fell apart, Coker got a phone call from the Santos camp. They were apologetic, saying that they had no idea beforehand, but that when the commission was testing Santos, they found out that she was pregnant and the fight was off. Coker fell for it…though later he was told it was a prank. Good thing for Coker – and for Santos.

Too bad we couldn’t be there to see Coker’s reaction. We’re guessing it looked something like this.

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