Okay…my name is Tito Ortiz…my name is Tito Ortiz…*clears throat* “Good afterday. My name is Ito Tortiz.”

If you’re unfamiliar with our “Unsupportable Opinion/Counterpoint” columns, they’re our attempts at taking an issue that most MMA fans are in agreement on and arguing for the other side, even if we don’t necessarily believe anything we’re writing. Sometimes, they’re actually right. Hell, sometimes they’re downright prophetic. Usually, they’re even more wrong than we imagined. Regardless, they’re usually just a way to argue against popular opinion, so try not to call me too many mean names over this column, okay? I’m sensitive, you guys.

Anyways, the general consensus on the latest attempt at public speaking by Tito Ortiz – the press conference he held to announce that Cyborg had signed with Invicta FC – is that it ended predictably. He did fairly well until the part where he had to open his mouth, and then…tragedy.

Video is After the Jump

Oh, this? It’s just a video of Gomes beating up some random Brazilian guy, no big deal.

Just one week after Cristiane ‘Cyborg’ Santos asked to be released from her UFC contract, the feared Brazilian striker has already found a new home. There was never any doubt as to where Santos would go once leaving the UFC, but yesterday it was announced that Cyborg has officially signed with Invicta FC.

Cyborg will be making her promotional debut at Invicta FC 5 on April 5. Her opponent will be the other scary Brazilian featherweight, Ediane Gomes, who was originally booked to beat the tar out of Julia Budd. Here’s what you need to know about Gomes: She is 10-2 overall, she is riding a four fight win streak, she most recently beat up Hiroko Yamakana in January, and her last loss came by armbar against Ronda Rousey. Oh yeah, and she once beat up a guy in Rio Heroes, yet none of his friends made fun of him for it (see above).

(It was like this, but even more terrifying.) 

It’s been a while since we’ve heard from former Strikeforce Women’s featherweight champion Cristiane “Cyborg” Santos. In the fallout of her sixteen second destruction of Hiroko Yamanaka and subsequent positive steroid test that saw her stripped of her title, “Cyborg” has been laying low, quietly awaiting her April 9th appeal and the chance to smash Ronda Rousey for her insolence.

In the meantime, it looks like the former champ has decided to broaden her training horizons, if you will, now incorporating a regular diet of Japanese game show hosts and comedians to satiate her overwhelming desire to kill. In fact, she recently appeared on the Japanese show Honoo no Taiikukai to demonstrate that she is just as strong without anabolic steroids coursing through her veins by taking on a…male Japanese comedian? Believe it or not, the match was surprisingly competitive for the most part, until Cyborg decided to go all Courtney Korpela on the poor bastard.

Join us after the jump for the full video, along with the Sergei Kharitonov/Mark Miller match from last weekend’s United Glory 15 card, and much more. 

(I bet even those scientists from the future who put me together couldn’t have predicted that old #643227 would become a future champion!) 

Success is a double edged sword. On one hand, it brings fame, fortune, and an immeasurable sense of self confidence, one that can only be gained by the awareness that you are truly the best at what you do. On the other, it brings crushing, tireless scrutiny from everyone around you, including those who helped build you up in the first place. And it is when you allow those naysayers to affect your daily routine, your mental state, or, in Christiane “Cyborg” Santos‘ case, your training regimen, that you have begun the inevitable fall from grace that follows.

Ever since her introduction to the public MMA circuit, Santos was looked at as a fighter who was simply on another level than that of her female counterparts. Her strength, striking ability, and general physique was shocking to even the most devoted MMA fans, and after she handled Gina Carano to take the Strikeforce women’s featherweight title, we knew she would be there for a long, long time.

And as with any case of athletic dominance, steroid accusations were immediately lobbed at the champ. Though there was little evidence to suggest any truth to these claims, pundits and keyboard warriors alike ruthlessly pursued them nonetheless. And as it turns out, behind the rumor was a fair bit of truth.

Bad news for…well, everybody, really. The California State Athletic Commission put out a press release earlier today announcing that Strikeforce featherwight champion Cristiane “Cris Cyborg” Santos — the most dominant female fighter in the history of the sport — has tested positive for an anabolic steroid. As a result, her license has been suspended, and the result of her last win over Hiroko Yamanaka on December 17th will be changed to a no-contest. Here’s the full release via BloodyElbow:

CALIFORNIA STATE ATHLETIC COMMISSION SUSPENDS LICENSE OF FIGHTER CRISTIANE JUSTINO SANTOS – a.k.a. CRIS CYBORG

Mixed Martial Arts fighter tested positive for anabolic steroid in December 16, 2011 test

The California State Athletic Commission (CSAC) has suspended the license of Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) fighter Cristiane Justino Santos, better known in MMA circles as Cris Cyborg, and has fined her $2,500 as the result of a positive test for a banned substance.

Santos’ December 16, 2011 drug test came back positive for stanozolol metabolites. CSAC learned of the test results December 23, 2011 and suspended Santos’s license, with the suspension applied retroactively to December 16, 2011. In accordance with Rule 368, the result of her last fight between Hiroko Yamanaka will be changed to a “No Decision”.

“Our primary concern is for the health and safety of fighters,” said CSAC Executive Officer George Dodd. “Anabolic agents and other banned substances put not only the users of those agents at risk, but their opponents as well. The commission simply will not tolerate their use.”

It was the only stoppage from last night’s Strikeforce: Melendez vs. Masvidal card, and it was a nasty one. With no 145-pound contenders in sight, Cris Cyborg plans to shed some muscle and dominate at bantamweight in the future.

(Oh man. This is not going to end well. / Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.com. For more photos from this set, click here.)

Can you believe it’s been over three months since Strikeforce put on a legit non-Challengers card? The promotion finally gets back to business tonight with two title fights — Gilbert Melendez vs. Jorge Masvidal in the lightweight division and Cris Cyborg vs. Hiroko Yamanaka at women’s featherweight — plus a light-heavyweight bout between Gegard Mousasi and Ovince St. Preux that could produce a contender to the vacant belt.

Round-by-round results from the “Melendez vs. Masvidal” main card broadcast on Showtime will be collecting after the jump beginning at 10:30 p.m. ET, courtesy of CagePotato liveblog rookie Steve Silverman; please do your best to make him feel welcome. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest.

(“Dun, dun, dun, dun, da-dun, dun, da-dun. Dah, dah, dah, dun, da-dun, dun, da-dun…“)

Props to MMAMania for directing us to the current betting lines for this Saturday‘s Strikeforce women’s featherweight title fight between Cristiane “Cris Cyborg” Santos and mysterious ex-dominatrix Hiroko Yamanaka. As of now, the champ is a -900 favorite, meaning that you’d have to bet $900 to collect a $100 profit if she wins. Yamanaka is a +550 underdog, meaning that a $100 bet would return a $550 profit if hell freezes over the challenger takes the belt.

Here’s why you might bet money on Yamanaka to score an upset: Cyborg hasn’t competed since June 2010; Yamanaka has gone 3-0 since then, with all wins by stoppage. Yamanaka might be able to keep Cyborg at bay with her height and range. Crazy shit happens in this sport all the time.

Here’s why you shouldn’t actually consider doing this: Literally every other reason you could possibly think of, including Cyborg’s unparalleled aggression, her history of consuming Japanese opponents, her home field advantage in the U.S., and most importantly, that it sucks to lose even small amounts of money in this economy.

If you have to bet on something this weekend, fill out this helpful questionnaire, then continue reading for a few wagering suggestions that are almost as risky, but not completely insane.

(And here we have Ronda Rousey dumping Karo Parisyan on his head. Props: DantheWolfman)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere…

- The Great ‘Must Retire’ List of 2011 (MMA Convert)

- Bellator’s 10 Best Fights of 2011 (The Fight Nerd)

- Photo Gallery: Cristiane “Cyborg” Santos Training for Hiroko Yamanaka (Lowkick.Blitzcorner.com)

- The 25 Most Outrageous MMA-Related Videos on YouTube (BleacherReport.com/MMA)

- Spike TV to Counter-Program ‘UFC on FOX 2′ With ‘UFC Unleashed: Evans vs. Davis’ (MMA Payout)

- Arianny Celeste: Chael Sonnen Is Very Polite To Me Backstage (FightLine)

- Keith Kizer: Urine Is ‘Obviously’ Better Than Blood for Steroid Testing (Fight Opinion)

- Dana White Sees Jon Jones as #2 Pound-for-Pound Fighter in the World (Five Ounces of Pain)

- Joseph Benavidez Inspired to Become a Great Champion in New UFC Flyweight Division (MMA Mania)

- Demian Maia: I Know I Can Submit Michael Bisping (MMAFighting)

- Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira Avoids Surgery on Broken Arm (5th Round)

- Can Someone Please Help Felice Herrig With Her Wardrobe Malfunction? (MiddleEasy)

(Serious question: How much would you pay this woman to kick you in the balls? / Photo via Sherdog)

A month after re-signing with Strikeforce, Cristiane “Cris Cyborg” Santos finally has her next opponent. As announced during Friday’s Strikeforce Challengers 19 broadcast, Santos will defend her 145-pound title at the “Melendez vs. Masvidal” event on December 17th, against Jewels/Smackgirl standout Hiroko Yamanaka (12-1). Here’s an amazing bit of biographical information from Yamanaka’s wikipedia page:

“Before entering into MMA, Yamanaka was a dominatrix and worked in a SM club for four and a half years. She used the name Chiaki in catfights when she was working there. She didn’t have sports experience and started to train in MMA because she thought that it would help her in providing a better service to her clients.”

Me-ow! Now riding an eight-fight win streak, Yamanaka was the final Smackgirl Open Weight Champion, and is ranked #2 on MMARising’s 145-pound women’s list. Watch her in action after the jump…

(“Hey, remember when I punched you in the face? That was awesome.” Photo courtesy of Esther/Strikeforce)

Inactive for 14 months (and counting), Cristiane “Cris Cyborg” Santos confirmed via Twitter last night that she has finally re-signed with Strikeforce. The 145-pound women’s champ officially became a free-agent in June, when her champion’s clause expired before she and Strikeforce could come to terms on a new deal. Though she had been negotiating with other organizations — and was even courted by the WWE — Santos is back where she belongs, and will face Opponent TBA at Event TBA.

Of course, Cyborg’s original problem still remains — that there are no credible challengers ready to fight her. I have a bad feeling that Ronda Rousey is about to get a life-changing phone call very soon.

If you watch MMA long enough, every fight, knockout, and submission begins to look familiar — which makes these classic bouts that much more special.

Wanderlei Silva Wins Via Choke
vs. Bob Schrijber @ Pride Grand Prix 2000 Opening Round, 1/30/00

Though he has two other submission victories on his record due to strikes, Wanderlei Silva has only ended one fight in his 15-year career with a legit, bonafide submission hold. It went down during his third PRIDE appearance against renowned kickboxer Bob Schrijber, in a reserve bout for the 2000 PRIDE GP. After some standup brawling, Wandy secures a takedown, immediately lands in mount, and slugs “Dirty Bob” until the Dutchman is forced to roll. From there, Silva sets up a rear-naked choke — you can tell that grappling’s not really his strong-suit — and eventually gets the tap.

Tito Ortiz Fights Outside of the UFC
vs. Jeremy Screeton @ West Coast NHB Championships 1, 12/8/98

After going 1-1 in his Octagon debut at UFC 13, Tito Ortiz took a tune-up fight at an NHB tournament in Los Angeles. The result was a fast, gnarly, PRIDE-style victory for the future superstar. Screeton shoots in on Ortiz, but the Huntington Beach Bad Boy uses his own formidable wrestling skills to reverse his opponent onto the mat. Two brutal knees to the head later, and Screeton was tapping out the morse code to “get me the fuck out of here.” Ortiz was invited back to the UFC the following month, and has never left. Seriously, we can’t get rid of this guy.

(Cyborg Santos gives Amanda Lucas a guided tour of the mat)

Since the very beginning of our sport, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu has been a critical component of Mixed Martial Arts competition (spoiler- Royce Gracie wins). Odds are good that unless you’re a diehard republican or an MMA judge, you share at least some appreciation for the subtle art of torquing limbs and rendering folks unconscious. Good news for you- the 2011 Mudials go down this weekend.

Competition in the lower belt rankings began on Thursday. In the video above you can check out Strikeforce’s 145lb women’s champion Cris Santos slam MMA fighter/George Lucas’s daughter Amanda Lucas in every manner possible en route to claiming a gold medal in the purple belt division. It is a little surprising that the most intimidating female fighter on the planet is competing as a purple belt, but not surprising enough that we would ask her about it to her face. ‘Grats to Cyborg for the medal and for finding a way to keep busy while her fighting career is inexplicably left to die on the vine.

Info on how to watch the event is after the break.

(Weird. The “cover your ears and rock back and forth while humming to yourself” defense worked so well in training.)

Inactive and without a fight booked since her squashing of Jan Finney last June, 145-pound Strikeforce women’s champion Cristiane “Cris Cyborg” Santos is desperate to return to competition — so desperate that she had reportedly been negotiating for gigs with the WWE and a Brazilian fight promotion in recent months. Now she’s moved onto the public-pleading stage of her frustration. Here’s what she had to say yesterday via Twitter:

Hi My dear fans, want to fight too soon, but not dependent on me. This very difficult to renegotiate with scott. They’re not appreciating all I did for the event. I am very sad, but I will not give up. God has another purpose in my life…Maybe I fight the world jiujtsu not going to be the way you like with many punches…but I will give my best to make you guys like it.

Alright, Cris, here’s the deal…

(Props: allelbows)

According to MMAWeekly, Strikeforce is working hard to book Sarah D’Alelio as the return opponent for MMA superstar Gina Carano. Though not all parties involved have signed off on the bout at the time of the report, the match would take place on the main card of Strikeforce: Overeem vs. Werdum, June 18th at the American Airlines Arena in Dallas. Fighting out of Olympia, Washington, D’Alelio holds a record of 4-1 (all wins by stoppage), and most recently suffered her first loss in a decision against Julie Kedzie at a Jackson’s MMA Series event in December.

Greg Jackson has been overseeing Carano’s training as she prepares to come back from a 22-month layoff, and so far, he has nothing but nice things to say: “We don’t have any 145ers, and she’s really sweet and really nice. So, those are the things you look for…She’s really talented, she works hard, she does what’s expected, and I’m impressed…As I get to know her more as far as helping her out for the fight, we’ll get to a better sense of it. But, she definitely has all the talent and all the potential in the world.”

Meanwhile, Carano’s old nemesis Cristiane “Cris Cyborg” Santos is still without her next opponent, ten months after her last title defense/squash match against Jan Finney. But as the video after the jump proves, Cris has been keeping herself in ferocious fighting shape…

(So, who wants to be the first one to tell her the name “The Honky Tonk Man” is already taken? Pic: ESPN)

Our amigos at Tatame dropped an under-the-radar, single paragraph report on us yesterday afternoon alleging that current Strikeforce women’s middleweight champion Cris “Cyborg” Santos is currently in talks with – oh, God, no — World Wrestling Entertainment. The website cites the ever-present “sources close to the fighter” saying that Santos is negotiating with the professional wrestling company and indicated that she’s joined a seemingly growing chorus of fighters disgruntled that the Strikeforce isn’t giving them enough fights.

“Without fighting since June of 2010, Cyborg is getting tired of the lack of fights in the MMA organization,” the website writes. “This proposal would change her future in fighting – and get bigger paychecks.”

Tatame reports that both Mr. and Mrs. Cyborg attended a WWE event in California two weeks ago and the rasslin’ company offered her a contract on the spot. If true, this news means the world of pro wrestling is essentially planning to acquire one of MMA’s top up and coming stars, while trading us one of it’s biggest malcontents, since MMA Weekly reports Dave Bautista could debut for BAMMA in England in May. Yeah, just another enormous dude, another conspicuously overseas MMA appearance. Anyway, we digress, more on the Cyborg situation after the jump.

The Cyborg Family – Watch more Funny Videos

Cristiane "Cris Cyborg" Santos and Evangelista "Cyborg" Santos — aka The Most Violent Couple on Earth — have been hard at work at their new Chute Boxe Team Cyborg gym, which they operate out of Cleber Luciano’s school in Huntington Beach. CagePotato West Coast correspondent Ruben Vera recently caught up with them to get an update on their lives inside and outside of the cage.

Neither fighter knows who their next opponent will be in Strikeforce, but they’re both training hard just in case an offer comes along. In a perfect world, Evangelista would get rematches with Gegard Mousasi and Melvin Manhoef. Cris doesn’t care who she fights because she doesn’t have anything personal against anybody — even Erin Toughill, who keeps calling her out. ("Even a bird can talk," Cris says.) Though she would be happy to go up in weight in fight Erin’s big ass, if it came to that.

As for their domestic life, Evangelista claims to do most of the cooking at home, and all of the cleaning. "Never clean!" Cris admits. In a fight between them, Cris would win because Evangelista would never hit a woman. On their iPods, Evangelista jams out to an audiobook of the Bible. Cris prefers "Waka Waka."

(Props: Card/homo sapient)

Remember when ESPN: The Magazine featured a semi-nude Gina Carano in their inaugural "Body Issue" last year? (Answer: Sure you do.) Well, they’re at it again this year, with a new pack of pro athletes stripping down for your amusement. Representing MMA this time around are Cristiane "Cris Cyborg" Santos, her husband Evangelista "Cyborg" Santos, and Herschel Walker. What the hell? Was Miesha Tate unavailable? Since that Playboy rumor never came to fruition, these pictures of Cristiane and Evangelista are the closest you’ll get to seeing Cris Cyborg naked in a magazine, if you’re into that sort of thing. The rear-view is after the jump. If you want to see Herschel Walker naked, you’re on your own.

(The moral of the story? When Gina Carano does it, it’s awesome. When Paulo Filho does it, it’s terrible. / Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.com)

Anybody can be forgiven for missing weight by a half-pound — as long as it doesn’t become a habit. But when an MMA fighter comes in a full four pounds heavy, as Efrain Escudero did this week for his doomed UFC Fight Night 22 bout against Charles Oliveira, it tends to raise some eyebrows. As we’ve done previously with steroid busts, we decided to catalog the worst scale-fails in MMA history, arranged by number of pounds over the limit. When the information was available, we also listed the punishments the fighters were given, along with their excuses for missing weight, which range from injuries to salt water to the dreaded “menstrual period.” This is by no means a definitive list — but we’d like it be, eventually. So if you know of any other occasions where fighters missed weight by four pounds or more, or missed weight for multiple fights, please let us know in the comments section.

* Note: We’ve eliminated the “Repeat Offenders” section. In the instances where fighters has notably missed weight on more than one occasion (see: A. Johnson, P. Daley, T. Alves), we’ve ranked them in the leaderboard by their greatest weigh-in failure.

Karl Knothe @ Shark Fights 17
Weigh-in date: 7/14/11
Weight: 253.75 pounds, 23.75 over the 230-pound catchweight limit
How is that even possible? Due to some miscommunication between Knothe and his management, Knothe was never informed that his scheduled bout against Ricco Rodriguez was supposed to be at a catchweight, instead of at heavyweight.
Result: The Texas Department of Licensing and Regulation disallowed Knothe from competing due to the large weight-gap and concerns over excessive weight-cutting. Knothe was paid a portion of his salary anyway, while Ricco Rodriguez instead faced 5-12 replacement Doug Williams. Rodriguez won via rear-naked choke in the first round.

Ricardo Mayorga @ Omega MMA: Battle of the Americas
Weigh-in date: 5/2/13
Weight: 175.9 pounds, 20.9 pounds over the limit for his contracted lightweight match against Wesley Tiffer, who came in at 153. Needlessly to say, shoving ensued.
How was this fight even allowed to happen?: The match took place in Managua, Nicaragua — which is Mayorga’s hometown, by the way — and the Nicaraguan combat sports commission that was overseeing the event didn’t seem to have a problem with the ludicrous weight discrepancy. (I hear they’re much more stringent when it comes to cock-fighting.)
Result: Mayorga by TKO after two rounds, aided by a fairly illegal knee to the spine. Stay classy, Ricardo.

(Carano and Cyborg: Godmothers of the game. / Photo courtesy of SI.com)

By CagePotato.com contributor Jim Genia

First there was the Nineteenth Amendment of the Constitution, which empowered the women of the United States with the right to vote. The Sexual Revolution of the 1960s followed, providing them with birth control and shifting values, and liberating them from the social constraints of a rigid society. Then came Gina Carano vs. Cris “Cyborg” Santos, which showed that when you put two well-trained ladies in a cage and pay them to fight, they can really beat the crap out of each other (or at least one can thoroughly whoop the other).

Yes, great strides have been made in equality for the fairer sex, and thanks to the likes of Carano and Cyborg, this equality has stretched into the realm of mixed martial arts. Now, there are impending all-female tournaments scheduled for Strikeforce and Bellator, and Sarah Kaufman’s recent violent KO over Roxanne Modafferi made ESPN’s “SportCenter”. Whether you love it or hate it, the female version of limited-rules combat is here to stay. So here’s a look back at some of the greatest moments in MMA herstory. (Get it? “His-story”, “her-story”? Yuk-yuk.)

Gina Carano vs. Kaitlin Young, EliteXC: “Primetime”

On May 31, 2008, EliteXC broke the live network-television seal with “Primetime”, a CBS-broadcast event that saw Kimbo Slice smash James Thompson’s ear, Robbie Lawler poke Scott Smith in the eye, and an overweight Carano batter a smaller Kaitlin Young. Overweight? That’s right, for the first-ever female bout on free TV, ultra-popular fighter and former American Gladiator Carano failed to make the contracted 140-pound weight limit, coming in instead at 144.5 pounds. This wasn’t the first time the “Face of Women’s MMA” had failed to make weight. In fact, EliteXC had tailor-made the 140-pound division for her because making the standard 135-pound limit would’ve required too much cardio and crystal meth. To ensure that she didn’t miss weight at her next fight, which was a pairing in Miami against Kelly Kobold, Carano stepped on the scale buck naked. Thankfully, the towel held up by her father to conceal her nude form from the crowd only slipped once.

Cris Cyborg post-fight interview – Watch more Funny Videos

Our buddy Brian D’Souza was on the scene at Strikeforce: Fedor vs. Werdum, and got us this exclusive video interview with 145-pound women’s champ Cristiane "Cris Cyborg" Santos, who put on another vicious striking performance en route to a 2nd-round KO against Jan Finney. Cyborg explains that she thought the fight should have been stopped earlier, and wasn’t troubled by Finney’s strikes because she used to training with men. She plans to get back into training and prepare for her next opponent — possibly Erin Toughill according to Scott Coker, even though Erin shot down that idea in March. But will anybody be prepared for Cyborg?

(Damn, what an unflattering picture of Werdum. It’s just one of those things where the camera catches you at the exact wrong moment, and you wind up making a strange expression that you’d never make again in a million–OH SHIT. / Photo courtesy of M-1Global.com.)

Look, we’re all still a little emotional from USA’s World Cup exit this afternoon, and the only cure is bloodshed. Luckily, Fedor Emeliananko returns to the Strikeforce cage tonight at the HP Pavilion in San Jose against Fabricio "Grappler’s Chance" Werdum, while Cris Cyborg will be tearing apart some random blonde woman. Plus, Scott Smith and Cung Le re-do their last fight for the hell of it, former lightweight champ Josh Thomson tries to rebound against Pat Healy, and an MMA legend might announce his retirement.

Round-by-round results from the "Fedor vs. Werdum" Showtime broadcast will be piling up after the jump beginning at 10 p.m. ET; refresh your browser every few minutes for all the latest. (The show is delayed on the West Coast, so beware of spoilers.) And yes, "Tucson" is misspelled on Fedor’s t-shirt in the above photo, but that’s what happens when you do all your shopping at consignment shops in Stary Oskol. Humble guy, this Last Emperor.

(Jan’s hair was done by her mortician. He figured, "hey, why not get a head-start." / Props: Esther Lin for Strikeforce)


Journeywoman Jan "Cuddles" Finney (8-7) throws the dice on a real long-shot this Saturday as she steps up to take on 145-pound queen Cristiane "Cris Cyborg" Santos (9-1) at Strikeforce: Fedor vs. Werdum. Finney describes MMA as a "hobby" that compliments her day-job as a personal trainer, but warns fans not to sleep on her: "I’m going to come right back at her. I’m not going to cower away. I’m probably going to be one of the strongest opponents she’s faced. I’m not saying I’m as strong as her, but you never know — I might be…I have a few tricks up my sleeve. I would also say I’ve got a pretty nice right hand."

After the jump: Fabricio Werdum shows off his size advantage against Fedor Emelianenko.

The Lowercase a-Team – Watch more Funny Videos
(Another gem from our friends at Break.com, in honor of The A-Team’s release this Friday. Remember, there are no little roles, just little people. Do what tiny Rampage says and follow Break on Twitter.)

– ‘King’ Mo Lawal Comments on Training Sessions with James Toney (MMAFighting)

– Let’s Hope Jan Finney Is Training as Hard as Cyborg in This Clip (MiddleEasy)

- Fedor Emelianenko, M-1 Global and Strikeforce headed to Pay-Per-View (Five Ounces of Pain)

- Inside the Life of Chuck Liddell (MMA Scraps)

- UFC Grants Dan Miller Another Chance (Heavy.com/MMA)

– Pat Curran Is On MMA’s Fast Track (FightMagazine)

– ‘UFC Undisputed 2010′ Off to a Slow Start (WatchKalibRun)

– Enter this week’s UFC 115 pools on MMA FightPicker! (fightpicker.cagepotato.com)

(Remember this face — because it might not look the same after next month. Props: MMABigShow.com)

As we mentioned this weekend, Cris Cyborg will be returning to the cage next month against Jan "Cuddles" Finney. You may be asking yourself, "Why is Strikeforce making their 145-pound women’s champ fight some broad named Cuddles who I’ve never heard of?" Fair enough. So let’s run through the checklist…

– Is she a natural 145-pounder? Of course not. Finney has competed around 135 pounds for most of her career, which would make her a more logical opponent for Strikeforce’s 135-pound champ Sarah Kaufman, who could also use a fight.

– Does she have a winning record? Just barely! Finney’s record stands at a shaky 8-7, though she has won her last four fights.

– Has she faced top competition? Definitely. She’s gone toe-to-toe with Miesha Tate, Erin Toughill, Shayna Baszler, and Julie Kedzie (three times), and has lost to all of them. She was scheduled to face Gina Carano at Dynamite!! USA in June 2007, but Carano had to withdraw from the fight due to illness.

– So wait, why is this fight happening? [shrugs]

Videos of Finney in action are after the jump…

(Props: KahL-One)

Though putting it together nearly killed him, our buddy Kahleem Poole has completed a video tribute to Wanderlei Silva that might be the best Axe Murderer-highlight we’ve ever seen. Not only is the fight footage edited together in an unconventional way (diggin’ those split screens), but it also gives a sense of the warm-hearted person that Wandy is when he’s not trying to destroy his opponents. The climactic montage of his late-career losses from 5:00 to 5:42 isn’t played for sympathy; defeat waits for every warrior. Check it out.

After the jump: A quick ‘n’ dirty look at Cristiane Santos‘s reign of terror.

("Nice flower-tattoo, cupcake. I just got a tattoo of the Virgin Mary being ripped apart by pitbulls, directly on my asshole." / Photo courtesy of Strikeforce. More pics are below, including one of an alarmingly fat Wes Sims.)

Tonight’s Strikeforce event at the BankAtlantic Center in Sunrise, Florida (aka "Miami") has such a fantastic mix of high-level MMA and can’t-look-away freak shows. On the top of the card you’ve got Nick Diaz battling for Strikeforce’s vacant welterweight title against head-kickin’ rising star Marius Zaromskis, while 145-pound lady-champ Cristiane "Cris Cyborg" Santos makes her first belt defense against Dutch submission artist Marloes Coenen. On the other end of the card, 47-year-old former football star Herschel Walker will kick off his cage-fighting career against Greg Nagy, while Wes Sims — who owns the physique of a 47-year-old — will do his best to avoid getting squashed by pro-wrestler Bobby Lashley. And somewhere in-between, Robbie "Brawler" Lawler and Melvin "Man-Hoof" Manhoef will launch leather at each other until one of them can no longer intelligently defend himself. If you’re not excited for this card, then you probably don’t use words like "excited" in general. Live results from the Showtime broadcast will be piling up after the jump, starting at 10 p.m. ET. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest.

Update: Dubus22 wins the t-shirt! Please send your name, address, and size to feedback@cagepotato.com.

(Props: Showtime via MiddleEasy)

It took their lazy asses two full months, but Strikeforce has finally released the video of Marloes Coenen‘s rematch with Roxanne Modafferi, which was part of the unaired preliminary card at Strikeforce: Fedor vs. Rogers. Though Modafferi was able to grind out a split-decision victory when she first fought Coenen in the finals of an eight-woman K-Grace tournament in May 2007, their last meeting was a 65-second pwnage by Marloes, who used razor-sharp striking to drop Modafferi before methodically setting up an armbar. With her Strikeforce debut an unqualified success and her reputation growing in the States, the good-lookin’ Golden Glory product will now challenge for Cristiane "Cris Cyborg" Santos‘s 145-pound belt on January 30th. Any predictions?

(You know, without his beard, Kimbo kind of looks like Reginald VelJohnson. Props to CagePotato reader ‘DopenesS’.)

It’s weeks like these that prove how unbelievably smart, funny, and cultured CagePotato’s readers are, in comparison to the slack-jawed readers of other MMA websites. Seriously, we love you guys (no homo). Here are three highlights from a wild week in the trenches of the CP comments sections…

whitey on "Strikeforce News Roundup: Cris Cyborg Injured, Bobby Lashley Negotiating + More":
if only Da Vinci was alive to see his vision of the perfect man in flesh and bone

K.E.G. on "Gina Carano Semi-Nudity to Hit Newsstands on 10/9":
Hopefully they will leave out the obvious pages on…
-Tra telligman’s weird chest.
-Josh Haynes’s extra skin
-Jacare’s vagina head
-Kimbo’s beard/manscaped chest hair
-Cyborg’s penis
-Tito’s massively swollen head
-Kaleb Starnes’s vagina

After the jump: A strong front-runner for comment of the year…

("Hug me or I’ll kill your entire family.")

According to an MMA Junkie report, Cristiane "Cris Cyborg" Santos may not be available to defend her 145-pound title at Strikeforce’s November 7th "Fedor vs. Rogers" event because of an injury, apparently suffered during her participation in the 2009 ADCC tournament in Barcelona. Said her manager, Richard Wilner: "It’s unlikely that Cris will be fighting on [Nov. 7] but still possible. I’m awaiting her return from Spain to get her assessed by a doctor here. Out of respect to Strikeforce, CBS and Cris’ potential opponent, we alerted them to this issue early so as not to interfere with pre-production, preparation, etc." When Santos does make her return, her first opponent is expected to be Dutch submission specialist Marloes Coenen. In other Strikeforce news…