(Gina making sure her fighting career is dead with the help of an Uzi.)

Well, it’s really seeming less and less likely that Gina Carano will be coming back to compete in MMA.

In spite of the fact that she says she is undecided whether or not her professional future resides in the cage or on the big screen, Carano, who attended Friday’s UFC 141 event in Las Vegas to help promote the upcoming January 20 release of her film, “Haywire,” seems to be talking a lot in the past tense when addressing her fight career.

Gina told MMAFighting.com’s Ariel Helwani that she spent the past two-and-a-half years making the film and getting to know herself better and flip-flopped between explaining that she pulled out of her June fight with Sarah D’Alelio due to medical and personal reasons, adding that she wished that the media would just stop asking what the issue was.

Check out the video and read the most telling quotes after the jump.

 
(Let’s remember the good times. Props: Old, Bald, & Irish.)

First EliteXC tanked, leaving Gina Carano without an organization to call home.  But if that wasn’t enough of a kick in the ovaries, American Gladiators has also been cancelled.  We can’t say we didn’t see it coming, but it’s sad nonetheless.  If only the new American Gladiators could have captured some this kind of magic from the old AG, maybe they’d still be around.  Alas, it wasn’t meant to be.  Not only does this mean we may never again see “Crush” tossing old ladies around in a unitard, it also means Hulk Hogan is being released back into the wild, so look out.  

But just when all Carano’s revenue streams look to be drying up, it sounds as if Dana White may actually be serious about getting her signed.  The UFC prez told Five Ounces of Pain’s Gary Herman that Carano, Robbie Lawler, and Jake Shields are all former EliteXC fighters he’d like to sign.  He also chastised fighters for signing with “fly by night companies,” saying they were “wasting their time.”

There you have it, young fighters not in the UFC.  Don’t sign with organizations other than the UFC or you’ll be wasting your time.  Just keep fighting one-offs in tiny regional shows for almost no money.  Then, after the UFC signs you and later cuts you, it won’t be so hard to re-adjust to your life of poverty and despair.  See?  Circle of freaking life.

(Props: MMA Payout)

Gina Carano was a guest on The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson last night to plug her upcoming appearance at EliteXC: Heat. It’s nice to see her getting some late-night couch time for a change (not that Kimbo’s appearances on Jimmy Kimmel don’t make for classic television). Explaining why she has chosen such a painful profession, Conviction explains, “I’d rather have a job where I travel and fight people and train than be married with children who hate me and a horrible husband.” Gina? WHY DO YOU HATE THE SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE SO MUCH? She also drops this bomb on Craig: “You can’t really hide anything in the cage. It’s just real, two people going at it. It’s kinda like sex.” But it’s cool, because she’s “just kidding.”

It wasn’t just American Gladiators that kept Gina Carano from making weight on Friday. “Conviction” had also been busy filming live-action interlude scenes for Command and Conquer: Red Alert 3, which will be released for Xbox 360 and PC in October. Here’s the promo, which shows her dressed as her character “Natasha.” (Hopefully she’ll have a terrible Russian accent in the game to go along with that name.) Warning: The cheesiness level on this one is HIGH.

(Props: EA via Kotaku via reader Trevor E.)

Here’s Gina Carano’s segment from yesterday’s ESPN E:60, in which we learn that “Crush” got into kickboxing after one of Kit Cope‘s trainers called her fat, she’ll be appearing in EA’s new Command and Conquer video game, she’ll never do Playboy, and Tara LaRosa still can’t stand her.

Related: MMAPayout reports that ESPN is launching an online MMA news show this Thursday, which will be hosted by Kenny Florian for the first two weeks. Said MMAPayout: “The program’s launch was apparently delayed by the UFC’s insistence that it be exclusive to the UFC.”

Heads up, “Crush/Conviction/Beautiful Disaster” fans — Gina Carano will be featured on today’s ESPN E:60, which airs at 7 p.m. ET/4 p.m. PT. A sample clip is above; after the jump is a recent American Gladiators promo where Crush reveals she prefers pizza to sushi, and can’t watch love scenes because she’s single and it’s hard to see other people in love. Awwww! :’ (

The smirky dude above is Kristopher "Kit" Cope, a former Muay Thai champion with an unfortunate MMA record of 1-4. You might know him as the dude who used to be engaged to Gina Carano, or the guy who got hit with a steroid suspension after getting steamrolled by Rob McCullough at WEC 25, or as one of the subjects in MTV’s True Life episode "I’m a Muay Thai Fighter." According to his Wikipedia page, "He once armwrestled a warewolf [sic] and won."

Yesterday’s Quote of the Day involving Dana White’s guarded interest in Kimbo Slice had us wondering if the UFC would try to make a play for the popular brawler after his four-fight EliteXC contract was finished. Well, such a play will have to wait, as EliteXC has wisely re-signed Slice — as well as Gina Carano and middleweight champion Robbie Lawler — to long-term, multi-year contracts. In a press release sent out last night, EliteXC Live Events prez Gary Shaw said:

“We’re extremely happy to get these deals done with Kimbo, Gina and Robbie. Fighters know EliteXC is the place to be and the organization to fight for, which is why we’ve always been able to sign or re-sign almost each and every one of our fighters…You don’t see our guys leaving. With us, it’s family and all about the fighters. Every fighter who has fought on an EliteXC card has come away being ambassadors for EliteXC.”

On Gina “Crush” Carano, Shaw said:

“She truly is the face of women’s MMA, an inspiration to many up-and-coming athletes and is a perfect illustration as to why women do indeed have a place in this sport and with EliteXC.”

Slice, Carano, and Lawler will be competing on EliteXC’s premiere Saturday Night Fights broadcast, which airs May 31st on CBS. Though an official lineup will be released in the next few days, the televised card is looking like this:

Kevin “Kimbo Slice” Ferguson vs. James Thompson (heavyweights)
Gina Carano vs. Kaitlin Young (140-pound limit)
Robbie Lawler vs. Scott Smith (middleweight championship fight)
Phil Baroni vs. Murilo “Ninja” Rua (middleweights)
Brett Rogers vs. John Murphy (heavyweights)

Good news, Potato Nation: MMA/American Gladiators star Gina Carano will be taking a break from making us cry. EliteXC announced today that Carano has been booked for their May 31st CBS debut, and will face Kaitlin Young, a 4-1 fighter hailing from the Minnesota Martial Arts Academy. Most notably, Young won an eight-woman HooknShoot tournament last November, knocking out three opponents in the same night, all within the first minute of the first round. [Ed. note: Holy fucking shit! Mo chuisle!] So basically, Gina’s gonna want to protect her face.

Also officially announced today is a bout between undefeated brawler Brett Rogers — who most recently knocked out James Thompson at “Street Certified”— and fellow heavyweight John Murphy. Meaning that the tentative main card, at this point, looks like this:

Kimbo vs. TBA (heavyweights)
Robbie Lawler vs. Scott Smith (for middleweight championship belt)
Gina Carano vs. Kaitlin Young (weight limit TBA?)
Phil Baroni vs. Murilo “Ninja” Rua (middleweights)
Brett Rogers vs. John Murphy (heavyweights)

Ooh, feel our goosebumps! The booking of Carano was clutch, as it adds a second mainstream-ish star to the network broadcast. We don’t know how much green Gary Shaw had to promise in order to lure the semi-estranged Carano back into the fold, but if it helps put EliteXC over with a skeptical CBS audience, it’ll be worth it. The only question is, has Crush been getting in enough MMA training between pugel-stick jousts and zip-line rides?

Speaking of which…

“It wasn’t a kick, it was a step” — awww, how adorable! Of course, if it was Wolf on the platform, there would be no sheepish avoidance of guilt. The dude would be like, “Hell yeah I kicked you in your fool head, that’s what happens when you step into the Wolf’s Den, ahhWOOOOOOOOOO!” Anyway, let’s hope Gina tries to use that excuse after soccer-kicking a downed opponent in her next MMA match…

(Props: 5 Oz. O’Pain)