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Tag: Cyborg Santos

[VIDEO] Cristiane Cyborg Put on a Muay Thai Clinic Against Jennifer Colomb Last Friday Because of Course She Did

If any of you are like me, you probably can’t watch a video of Cristiane “Cyborg” Justino savaging some hapless opponent without running through a list of “What Ifs” and “Reasons to Hate Tito Ortiz.” What if Cyborg hadn’t asked to be released from the UFC? What if she somehow managed to secure a fight with Ronda Rousey? What if Ortiz hadn’t nuked her career with a series of awkward non sequiturs? (Author’s note: Hopefully the latter can be answered when Ortiz and his besties crash Dana White’s quinceanera or whatever it is they plan on doing.)

It’s a moot issue at this point, but we triple dog dare you to watch Cyborg’s victory over the previously undefeated (and late replacement opponent) Jennifer Colomb at Lion Fight 11 without asking the same questions. Although the fight went down last Friday, a full video of their two round Muay Thai bout has only recently been made available, likely because it was being used as evidence in an assault case filed against Justino that has since been dropped.

As for the fight itself…what would you expect? Cyborg swarms Colomb with a Tasmanian Devil-esque flurry of punches, kicks, knees, spinning backfists/elbows, haidukens, ice freeze attacks, Falcon punches and Bob-ombs at every conceivable opportunity until Colomb just sort of wilts from the sheer magnitude of it all. I’m telling you, have Cyborg strap on (HOLD IT) a face mask and some skates and she would have Milan Lucic shitting out his own eyeballs within the first period.

This is normally where I’d ask an obvious question — something like “Are there any intriguing non-UFC fights left for Cyborg?” — but we all know that answer.

In conclusion: Down with Primetime 360, up with Entertainment 720.

*drops mic*

-J. Jones

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In Case You Missed It: “Cyborg” Smashes Coenen, Torres Edges Out “Thug” Rose at Invicta FC 6 [VIDEOS]


(Cris Cyborg vs. Marloes Coenen II. Video via FancyMojo420)

As was written so aptly this past weekend on these pages, the women folk on Saturday’s Invicta FC 6 card were some bad mofo’s. Most of the attention was given to the main event title fight (above) rematch between “Cris Cyborg” Santos and Marloes Coenen but we’ve got much love for everyone else on the card as well, especially our very own “Thug” Rose Namajunas.

For the second time in her career, Coenen showed that she can last longer than most women against Santos, but once again, she took a bad beating and a loss at the hands of the “Cyborg.” Namajunas faced the tough Tecia Torres and lost a hard-fought decision that got the main card off to an explosive start.

Both bouts were entertaining and give enough argument on their own that women’s MMA deserves our collective attention. Check out the main event above and Namajunas vs. Torres after the jump and see what we mean.

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Cyborg vs. Coenen II Set to Headline July 13th Invicta FC 6 Card

Everywhere you look, chicks are headlining fight cards these days. February had Rounda Rousey defending her world title in a UFC pay per view main event and now Invicta FC has announced their latest main event – a rematch between Cristiane “Cyborg” Santos and Dutch Marloes Coenen Pretty sweet, if you ask us.

Invicta always has a women’s bout as their headliner, of course, because they are an all Women’s MMA organization. As such, they’ve created new opportunities for female fighters to make a living and show how the females are not just the fairer sex, they might also be the fiercest.

Just as cool as what Invicta is doing, the formerly all-male MMA organization, the UFC, now has one women’s division and title, with more hopefully on the way. Last week, Meisha Tate and Cat Zingano tore down the house with their fight of the night on the UFC’s last Fuel TV card. That was on the heels of February’s UFC pay per view main event title bout between Ronda Rousey and Liz Carmouche.

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Cristiane ‘Cyborg’ Santos Asks to Be Released from the UFC, Fight with Rousey Officially Not Happening


Props: HDNetFights

The hope of a Ronda Rousey vs. Cristiane “Cris Cyborg” Santos superfight in the UFC may have just gone up in smoke, for good this time. According to Cyborg’s manager — a bespectacled fellow by the name of Tito The BrainOrtiz — the formerly-feared Brazilian striker has officially refused to drop to 135 pounds to compete in the Octagon, and she’ll now be seeking opportunities elsewhere. Here’s what Ortiz had to say last night on Inside MMA:

Right now, we’re actually waiting for [the] UFC to release [Cyborg]. We asked for them to release her, so Dana White actually talked to me yesterday. They gave an offer, I went to Cyborg and she said she didn’t want to do it—and we just asked for her release.

Since [the UFC] isn’t doing a 145-pound weight class, what else can they do? Now, she’s going to be released. Maybe we’ll go look somewhere else and you can see Cyborg crush another woman’s face in.

As Ortiz tells it, Cyborg was willing to drop to 140 to meet Rousey at a catchweight — though not until her fourth fight in the UFC for some reason — but cutting an additional five pounds would be physically impossible for Cyborg, and the UFC didn’t want to budge on the point. (Women carry less water-weight, and can’t cut as much weight as men, Dr. Ortiz explained.) Now, the only female MMA superfight available isn’t happening, which is also a serious blow for the future of women’s MMA in the UFC. How long will fans care about a division that only features one star?

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A Fond Farewell: The Six Most Memorable Moments in Strikeforce History


(This belt means as much as the one Carlos Condit is carrying around. It’s funny how that works.)

By Jason Moles

In what comes as absolutely no surprise to anyone with a double-digit I.Q. or higher, Strikeforce will reportedly put the final nail in the coffin after their next event, which is currently scheduled for January 2013. Like any good friend, we tried to talk them out of their appointment with Dr. Kevorkian. Sadly, our friend just could not be reasoned with, leaving us no other options — we have to prepare for the funeral.

Here at CagePotato HQ (read: my desk at work when the boss is in the crapper), we feel it only necessary to start writing the eulogy now, while the memories are still vivid, in an attempt to bring comfort to the grieving family and friends when the time comes. Let’s take a stroll down memory lane, shall we, and look back fondly at the most memorable moments in Strikeforce’s storied mixed martial arts history.

Frank Shamrock Gets a Friendly Stockton Greeting From Nick Diaz

In the spring of 2009, Strikeforce served up a hot matchup between former UFC champion and MMA legend Frank Shamrock and the future Strikeforce Welterweight champion and world-renowned trash talker Nick Diaz. As you can glean from the above photo and the ensuing nut grab you can see on YouTube at roughly the 3:23 mark, these two were about as cordial as a Kentucky Derby winner who had just spotted Alistair Overeem waiting in the stable with a knife and fork.

The remarkable thing about the whole ordeal was that Diaz remained true to himself at the risk of coming across as a disrespectful punk, not willing to play nice simply to placate other people, even if they did sign his paycheck. In all of the press conferences that have been held over the years, fighters have generally been pretty calm and polite — so much so that you have to wonder if they realize that the guy they’re shaking hands with is the same guy who’s getting paid to cave his face in come fight night. Not the Stockton, Calif. native, though, whoe’s about as subtle as he is media friendly. You’ll never have to guess what the Cesar Gracie product is thinking. This classic photo by Esther Lin is a reminder of just that.

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Turns Out, Cris Cyborg Was Figuratively Dicknailed by CSAC Prior to the Rousey/Kaufman Fight


(WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE’S NO FOAMING OF THE MOUTH ALLOWED IN THIS ARENA?!)

You might recall that in the immediate aftermath of Ronda Rousey’s win over Sarah Kaufman last weekend, “Rowdy” called out former women’s featherweight champion Cris Cyborg. Unlike past Strikeforce events, Cyborg was not allowed to enter the ring and cause a full-fledged riot for our entertainment, and in fact was actually removed from her seat in the audience before the fight even started.

Why, you ask? Well, it turns out that the California State Athletic Commission has a rule declaring that any fighter under a current suspension is not allowed inside to be at a professional mixed martial arts event. Cyborg shared your current confusion while she was being removed form the audience, telling Tatame in a recent interview:

I watched all fights but on the last one, Ronda’s, a woman working on the event came to tell me I had to leave because the commission doesn’t accept suspended athletes on the shows. My manager talked to the guys at the commission and there’s really a law that says that.

I was upset for the way they treated me. They could’ve pulled me on a corner and told me, not in front of the fans. I was taking pictures and they interrupted me, saying I had to go. It was very disrespectful. I believe a champion deserves to be treated with respect. Everyone knows an athlete’s life isn’t easy, so all fighters deserve respect. When I was in Brazil I watched UFC and there was no problem.

An odd rule indeed, made all the more unusual by the fact that the commission decided to wait until the main event to inform Cyborg that she wasn’t supposed to be there in the first place, which is the equivalent of letting a homeless man wander into your dinner party uninvited and waiting until the nightcap to kick him out.

More news on the Cyborg/Rousey match is after the jump.

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Satire Sunday: Spuds McKenzie Guilty of Sexual Harassment, Sentenced to Nine Months Probation

DISCLAIMER: This feature is purely a satirical piece- you know, like the title explicitly states. Any references to real people and events are purely for comedic effect. Nothing you are about to read is actual news, and no quotes used in this article are authentic quotes. In short, don’t take anything you are about to read as a real news story.

Anheuser-Busch respects women, and would never support sexism in any way.

The family-friendly Anheuser-Busch corporation has just been turned upside down. Former Bud Light mascot Spuds MacKenzie has been found guilty in the state of Nevada of sexually harassing multiple women while employed by Anheuser-Busch. Furthermore, Anheuser-Busch is being investigated for its role in MacKenzie’s crimes, as victims say that the harassment was not only encouraged by fellow employees, but that the victims were vehemently discouraged from filing complaints while they were employed by the company.

The charges against MacKenzie read like the sex-depraved fantasies of a thirteen year old boy. Among them include the complaints of Carol Grey, who played the role of “Hot Blond Chick” in many Bud Light commercials. Grey revealed that MacKenzie would repeatedly order her to smack him on the ass during commercial shoots, as well as force her to publically praise MacKenzie’s sexual conquests on numerous occasions.

Shocking videos of the harassment available after the jump.

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Gina Carano’s Haywire Co-Stars Think She’s Pretty Awesome


(Video courtesy of Access Hollywood)

Access Hollywood was on hand at last week’s Haywire premiere in Hollywood and got the chance to speak with a few members of the film’s cast, including its star, Gina Carano.

Channing Tatum, Bill Paxton and Obi Wan Kenobi all had great things to say about first-time actress, Carano. Hopefully the buttering up they gave her doesn’t persuade her to turn her back on MMA forever in favor of craft services and private posh trailers.

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‘Cyborg’ Santos is Going with the Old “Tainted Supplements” Defense

Damn it! Why can’t any of MY supplements be tainted?!?

Well, that didn’t take long. Less than 24-hours after Cris Santos was fined and suspended by the California State Athletic Commission for failing her post-fight steroid test at “Strikeforce: Melendez vs Masvidal”, the now former Strikeforce women’s 145lb Champion has released a statement.

There are many hands a fighter can play after failing a PED test. There’s the ‘Bullshit Laboratory” defense, the “Recovering from an Injury” excuse, the “Poor Self Image” defense, and the increasingly popular “Deficient Testicles” defense. While some of these may have been invoked by “Cyborg”, she’s going with the tried and (possibly) true “Tainted Supplements” defense. It allows the busted fighter to admit that they are guilty of not closely monitoring their nutritional intake, but innocent of any deliberate wrong doing. And, if you’re keeping score, it’s been used by damn near every fighter ever busted for steroids.

But enough about what Santos could have said. Here she is, in her own words…

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Strikeforce Women’s Middleweight Champ Cris Cyborg in Contract Limbo

(“Don’t move, Gina. This is how we’ll get mainstream acceptance.”)

Strikeforce hasn’t announced when  Cristiane “Cyborg” Santos will next defend her belt, and according to the dominant women’s middleweight champion, it’s not because she isn’t ready. It’s because she doesn’t have a contract.

Cyborg told Tatame recently that her contract ran out after her last fight with Jan Finney last June and she hasn’t spoken with Scott Coker and company about re-signing with the recently Zuffa-acquired promotion in the nine months since the bout.

“Currently I don’t have a contract signed, but on my former contract there was something saying that for a year I’m connected to the [promotion] but we might sign a new one.  I believe the fact that the UFC bought Strikeforce is a good thing for women, because we have two years to do a good job and prove them our value —  to prove it to Dana White,” she explains. “I’m not anxious and I’m not worried. I’m happy and I keep on training.”

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