("These barbarian Americans," Fedor thought to himself. "Worshipping laminated rectangles with names on them.")

Strikeforce has been laying suspiciously low lately, leading some to wonder if they’re having behind-the-scenes problems with Fedor Emelianenko or their broadcast partners; Gegard Mousasi‘s departure from M-1 two weeks ago added another wrinkle to the mystery. Strikeforce CEO Scott Coker tried to shed what light he could yesterday, telling reporters that the organization would hold an event in Nashville, Tennessee, on April 17th, and that more announcements would come next week. No, it’s not much to work on. But recent reports have also clued us in on the following…

— The middleweight title fight between Jake Shields and Dan Henderson is a done deal for April. Said Shields: "I have a date (and) venue, but they told me to hold that back. Hopefully CBS. I think it’s CBS. There’s a slight possibility of Showtime because they’re still (working it out). I don’t know the rest of the card or any of that yet. But me and Dan’s on, and I’m hoping it’s on CBS."

(Bisping, Arlovski, Griffin, and Swanson: Four of the year’s most unfortunate victims.)

#25: Vitor Belfort sends Matt Lindland into convulsions at Affliction: Day of Reckoning (1/24/09).

#24. Gegard Mousasi makes his presence known in America by pounding Renato Sobral flat at Strikeforce: Carano vs. Cyborg (8/15/09).

#23: Matt Hamill unleashes his inner Cro Cop against Mark Munoz at UFC 96 (3/7/09).

IF YOU MISSED KNOCKOUTS #25-13, CLICK HERE.

#12: Fedor Emelianenko adds Brett Rogers to his vast collection of scalps at Strikeforce: Fedor vs. Rogers (11/7/09).

#11: Brian Bowles shocks the world, earns the WEC’s bantamweight title, and breaks Miguel Torres‘s 17-fight win streak at WEC 42 (8/9/09).

#10: Lyoto Machida makes Rashad Evans do the stanky leg at UFC 98. (5/23/09)

#9: Dan Hornbuckle starches Akihiro Gono with a kick to the face at Sengoku 9 — then takes a moment to think about what he’s done (8/2/09).

#8: Scott Smith pulls off the greatest comeback knockout of the year against Cung Le at Strikeforce: Evolution (12/19/09).

#7: Dan Henderson shuts Michael Bisping‘s big spotted-dick-eating mouth at UFC 100 (7/11/09).

#6 (tie): Marius Zaromskis high-kicks Hayato Sakurai into a living death at the DREAM welterweight GP semi-finals; later that same night, Marius Zaromskis does the same exact thing to Jason High (7/20/09). Congrats, Jason, you’re on the wrong end of this list twice.

#5: Yahir Reyes cracks Estevan Payan with what might be the nastiest spinning-backfist in MMA history at Bellator 6. (5/8/09)

#4: Jose Aldo needs just 8 seconds and a well-timed flying knee to wreck Cub Swanson — and earn a title shot — at WEC 41 (6/7/09).

#3: Anderson Silva shows Forrest Griffin the true power of a Jedi at UFC 101 (8/8/09).

#2: Fedor Emelianenko shoots Andrei Arlovski out of the air at Affliction: Day of Reckoning (1/24/09).

Fedor vs. Arlovski – Watch more Funny Videos

#1: Marcus "Lelo" Aurelio proves that Capoeira is MMA’s most effective style — at least for one night — against Keegan Marshall at North American Challenge 24 (4/4/09).

(Props: Sherdog)

No longer a free agent, MMA living legend Dan Henderson is slated to challenge Jake Shields for Strikeforce’s middleweight belt at the organization’s next CBS card in April. Dana White may take full responsibility for Hendo’s exit from the UFC, but according to Henderson in the video interview above, the signing was the best thing for him, really: "The opportunity to fight on CBS is huge…and you just don’t get that elsewhere. To have the opportunities to still be able to fight the top guys in the world, that was one of my main concerns, and they have that here as well. There’s no red tape to go through with sponsorships. Clinch Gear‘s not banned from the organization. I’m just happy all the way around."

Responding to White’s recent claims that he’s permanently "done" with Henderson, Dan was his usual respectful self: "I think the fans know Dana White. Personally, as far as our relationship, he’s still gonna be alright with me, but business-wise maybe he has to put on a certain front for certain things. And either way I’ll say that he’s still fat and he needs to diet down a little bit. I’ve been telling him for a long time. Hes spending a lot of money on expanding those suits."

As for his next opponent, Henderson described Jake Shields as "bigger than me…I think he does cut quite a bit of weight to get to ’85" — which seems like an odd claim based on information he probably made up. And sure, it’s no Henderson vs. Silva II, or even Henderson vs. Marquardt, but whaddya gonna do: "I don’t know how excited the fans are gonna be about that fight," Henderson said. "But I think it’s a good matchup and I’m excited about it."

(On the next episode of Hoarders…)

According to a new report on FiveKnuckles.com, recent Strikeforce signee Dan Henderson is in "end stage" negotiations to face Strikeforce middleweight champ Jake Shields at the organization’s next CBS event in April. Bout agreements have yet to be signed, but the fight is reportedly in the process of being finalized.

Since his submission loss to Anderson Silva at UFC 82 last March, Henderson has gone 3-0, scoring victories over Rousimar Palhares, Rich Franklin, and Michael Bisping. Shields most recently picked up his 13th straight victory with a workmanlike decision over Jason Miller, but finished his eight previous fights, which included submission wins over Nick Thompson, Paul Daley, and Robbie Lawler. Compared to Shields, Henderson is larger, has fought more elite-level opponents, and has an obvious power advatange with his punches, but it’s hard to count Jake out when you look at the dominant run he’s had over the last four years. At any rate, it’s a great matchup, and it only makes sense for Strikeforce to put their new star into a title fight right away.

The only other fight on the April card at this point is Fedor Emelianenko vs. TBA. Sure, you’d think that would be a perfect time for Emelianenko to take on Alistair Overeem for Strikeforce’s heavyweight title, right? Wrong. Alistair Overeem has one more fight on on his K-1 contract, which he plans to take in the spring, meaning that he won’t be available to Strikeforce until later in the year. Though his manager, Bas Boon, promises that the Demolition Man will return to Strikeforce sometime in 2010, it’s very likely that he’ll be stripped of his title before that happens.

(Don’t get too chummy, Berlusconi. Fedor only came to this thing because Putin told him there would be ice cream.  He’s been patient so far, but his patience has limits.)

CBS was so happy with how well their first Strikeforce event turned out, they’re going to do it again.  Eventually.  MMA Weekly reports that CBS is eyeing April 2010 as their next date for live MMA action, and they want both Fedor Emelianenko and Dan Henderson on the fight card.  Probably not against each other, though.  That would be insane.

According to CBS senior executive vice president Kelly Kahl, they are "looking at a few different dates" but after the ratings the last Strikeforce show did they "look forward to being back in the cage."

As excited as we’ll be to see both Fedor and Hendo fighting for free on CBS once April rolls around (assuming we make it through the winter without being eaten by wolves, and we never assume that), that puts a five-month gap between Strikeforce’s network TV events.  We can’t help but pose the question: is that really the kind of scheduling pace that builds brand loyalty?  Sure, it gives them time to stack the card using the full might of Strikeforce’s roster, but at this rate they’ll only do about two network TV events a year.  Is that the kind of thing that builds a fanbase, or just tries to quickly exploit whatever existing fanbase is already there? 

(Dan also took his stapler and three boxes of ballpoint pens from the supply closet. Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.)

Dana White has never been one to lose a fight gracefully. Now that Dan Henderson has scampered off to rival fight club Strikeforce, it’s time for DW to start telling everybody what a farce Hendo is. As White explained to MMA Fanhouse:

(Dan doesn’t usually pick up hitchhikers, but you got such a pretty mouth…)

After months of speculation from the media and a healthy dose of smack talk from Dana White, Dan Henderson has finally signed a multi-fight deal with Strikeforce, reports MMA Fanhouse.  There’s no word yet when he’ll make his official debut in the organization, or whether he’ll compete primarily as a middleweight or a light heavyweight, but at least one thing is for certain — that chubby British kid who demanded that DW resign Hendo is going to be pissed.

Now that we know where Henderson is going to compete, it’s time to play matchmaker.  Say you’re Strikeforce’s Scott Coker.  You’ve just signed one of the best middleweights in the world, so you could toss him in the mix with guys like Jake Shields, Robbie Lawler, "Mayhem" Miller, Cung Le, so on and so forth.  Or, you might decide that you’ve got enough talent at 185 pounds, and shuffle him into your light heavyweight class so that Gegard Mousasi finally has someone worthwhile to fight. 

There are positives and negatives to either decision, but the pressure’s on.  The board members want answers and the Captain is tired of defending your crazy antics to the Comissioner.  You’ve gotta make the call and make it soon.  So what do you do, hot shot?  What do you do!?

From Sportsnet.ca:

Marquardt is on a three-fight win streak, most recently knocking out Demian Maia in 21 seconds at UFC 102. Sonnen has won his last two, scoring unanimous decisions over highly-regarded middleweights Dan Miller and Yushin Okami. It’s an interesting matchup that raises some important questions: First off, does this mean that Dan Henderson has officially left the UFC? Last week, Dana White said he was certain that Henderson had been signed by Strikeforce, though his manager denied it. And hey, would Chael Sonnen get the next shot at Anderson Silva (after Vitor Belfort gets his) if he manages to pull off an upset against Marquardt? Good Lord. Thanks a lot, Hendo.

The current lineup for UFC 110 (February 21st; Sydney, Australia) is after the jump…

If you were hoping that Dan Henderson‘s contract negotiation breakdown with the UFC would lead him to abandon his patented understated, laconic style in favor of calling Dana White a stingy bastard and accusing Anderson Silva of shucking and ducking, you’re about to be disappointed.  In his latest interview, Hendo confirms DW’s characterization of the talks as having reached a stalemate, but says he still thinks he’s worth more and can get more than what the UFC is offering him, and dammit, come February he’s fighting somebody, somewhere.  Dan has a good point when he says he’s not too keen on seeing a guy who he beat, and who has never even fought as a middleweight in the UFC, jump ahead of everybody else for the title shot.  But hey, like Vitor Belfort already said, he’s just working from the neck down like everybody else in the UFC.

After the jump, Natasha Wicks tries on the five best/sluttiest Halloween costumes she can find, and "Rampage" Jackson puts in overtime busting Rashad Evans‘ balls on tonight’s episode of "The Ultimate Fighter."

One of things we didn’t see in Dana White’s most recent video blog from the lovely Casablanca hotel and casino in Mesquite, Nevada was him sitting down for a conversation with Raw Vegas‘ Dave Farra.  Not that we blame DW for cutting that portion out.  I mean, talking to Dave isn’t going to be the highlight of anyone’s night, trust me.  But it is interesting to hear how White characterizes his negotiations with Dan Henderson, and just how different that characterization is from the way Hendo sees things.  According to White, they couldn’t come to terms with Henderson because he "was looking for an obscene amount of money."  Now there’s an interesting use of the past tense.  Chances are that if you asked Henderson, he’d tell you that he continues to want that same amount of money in the present.

(Walla Walla-themed fan art courtesy of bojanelezovic.com. We also recommend checking out this breathtaking drawing of Fat Fedor.)

As one of Dana White’s official mouthpieces, you sometimes have to take Kevin Iole‘s articles with a grain of salt. Following the report that Dan Henderson is on the verge of signing a deal with Strikeforce, we’re now wondering: Was the story put out in an attempt to put pressure on Hendo or affect public opinion of him? Because at the moment, Henderson is denying it completely. As Henderson’s friend and business partner Aaron Crecy told MMA Fanhouse, "We had a brief get-to-know-you session with (Strikeforce) and met them for coffee, but to say he’s close to signing would be a gross misrepresentation." And as Dan himself told MMA Weekly, "I’m still hoping to come to terms with the UFC, until I heard this…I’ve never even seen an offer from (Strikeforce).”

So, a ray of hope for Hendo fans who want to see him get his rematch with Anderson Silva at some point, even if he still isn’t close to terms with the UFC when it comes to money. But why would Yahoo! and the UFC puff up a "possibly" story into an "imminently" story? Could they be testing MMA fans to see how much people really want Henderson to stay in the UFC? And will the UFC adjust their offer depending on the results?

(Somebody go tell Bisping that the coast is clear now.)

Remember those contract negotiations that between Dan Henderson and the UFC that had slowed down of late?  Apparently they slowed all the way to a halt, and now Hendo may be headed for Strikeforce.  The crazy part? UFC president Dana White seems content to just watch him go:

“We have a good relationship with Henderson, and there are no hard feelings,” White said. “He had a figure he believed he was worth, and we had our own figure, and we weren’t able to get together.”

Just like that, Henderson’s highlight-reel knockout of Michael Bisping goes from a career-rejuvenator to a UFC swan song.  DW can’t really hold this one against Strikeforce if they do end up signing Henderson, though his grudges haven’t necessarily been limited by rationality in the past.  Still, the UFC had every chance to keep Hendo and ultimately decided he wasn’t worth the money he wanted.  What, did they feel like they had too many credible middleweight contenders at the moment?

(The Henderson vs. Belfort fight from PRIDE 32 that the UFC has conveniently forgotten about.)

As strange as it seems now, there was a time when the Dan Henderson vs. Michael Bisping fight at UFC 100 was thought to be a #1 middleweight contender’s match. Then, Nate Marquardt blasted Demian Maia, Vitor Belfort ran over Rich Franklin, and suddenly things began to get complicated, both in terms of the UFC’s middleweight title picture and Hendo’s short-term career plans. It’s obvious now that the UFC wants Vitor to be the next challenger for Anderson Silva’s belt (despite the fact the Belfort has never competed in the UFC at 185 pounds), with the next title shot going to the winner of Dan vs. Nate. Unfortunately, Henderson isn’t currently signed to the UFC. A new report on Sherdog informs us that Dan has been a free agent since last month, and his latest round of contract negotiations with the UFC last week didn’t produce a signed contract:

(If Dan had only faked an injury, it would have been a totally different story.)

After Nate Marquardt‘s brutal knockout of Demian Maia at UFC 102, Anderson Silva was faced with the possibility of having to rematch both Marquardt and Dan Henderson in title defenses — not exactly the fresh challenges that Silva wanted to focus on during the remaining fights of his career. Silva’s manager Ed Soares suggested that Marquardt and Henderson fight each other to establish a true #1 middleweight contender, and Dan Henderson suggested that Ed Soares get stuffed. Well, the Spider has found a solution to the middleweight contender problem, as he’s decided to undergo elbow surgery and will sit out the rest of the year.

So, unless Henderson wants to accumulate some nice ring-rust — and wait until the spring to get paid again — he’ll probably have to take the fight against Marquardt. (See? Just because Ed and Anderson speak that bizarre foreign language, it doesn’t mean they’re not clever.) If you’re Dana White, your first reaction to this elbow-surgery news is probably "Silva, you cocksucker." Your second reaction is to realize that UFC 105 still lacks a main event, and Henderson vs. Marquardt is probably as good a matchup as you’re going to get at this point.

(Doing the bird dance. Feeling the flow. Working it. Photo courtesy of LasVegasSun.)

Don’t know about y’all, but Anderson Silva‘s flawless victory over Forrest Griffin at UFC 101 made the prospect of a second fight with Dan Henderson even less interesting to me; if the Spider’s competitive days are truly numbered, I’d much rather see him rumble with guys like Quinton Jackson, Tito Ortiz, and yes, even Lyoto Machida, rather than sit through sequels to old fights. Luckily, it seems that Silva feels the same way (except for the Machida part). According to this Yahoo! Sports article, Silva’s manager Ed Soares approached UFC president Dana White after Saturday’s event and suggested that Silva vacate his middleweight title and move to light-heavyweight permanently. White was very receptive to the idea, saying:

(Props: 0fficialbjpenn)

In a night filled with some less-than-thrilling matchups, at least Anderson Silva and BJ Penn remembered that they were in Philly — and for that, they were rewarded handsomely. Silva earned a $60,000 Knockout of the Night bonus for cleaning Forrest Griffin‘s clock in the first round of their light-heavyweight feature at UFC 101, while Penn scored a Submission of the Night bonus in honor of his fourth-round rear-naked-choke of Kenny Florian. Somewhat suprisingly, additional $60,000 Fight of the Night checks went to Silva and Griffin for their match, even though it wasn’t much of a fight. UFC 101 drew a sold-out crowd of 17,411 spectators for a live gate of $3.55 million, a combat sports record for Pennsylvania. Reportedly, almost 11,000 of those fans were already in their seats by the time the first preliminary match started.

During the post-fight press conference, UFC president Dana White announced that the UFC was looking to host an event at Boston’s legendary Fenway Park by next summer; the Massachusetts state senate passed a bill to regulate MMA last month. White also said that the UFC could add another event to its schedule in October, in addition to UFC 104 (October 24th, Los Angeles). Since Fedor Emelianenko is slated to make his Strikeforce debut sometime in October, the counter-programming motives are fairly obvious here. Game on…

(One more round for old time’s sake?)

Though Dana White was hoping he could announce the signing of Fedor Emelianenko at this afternoon’s much-anticipated UFC press conference, it was not meant to be. DW said he did everything he could possibly do to get Emelianenko into the Octagon and offered him an "amazing" deal, but M-1′s dogged desire for co-promotion sunk the negotiations, which made Dana "fucking miserable." Still, there were some major announcements to share, which are sure to get MMA fans talking:

— UFC 103‘s main event has been thankfully changed to Rich Franklin vs. Vitor Belfort. The match will be contested at light-heavyweight. Dan Henderson will likely get the next crack at Anderson Silva‘s middleweight belt, possibly followed by the winner of the Nate Marquardt/Demian Maia match at UFC 102.

— Tito Ortiz (remember that guy?) is back in the UFC, and plans to fight before the end of the year. Mark Coleman has been named as a possible opponent.

(Props: twitter.com/FollowACE)

Rich Franklin gives us the heads-up that the UFC may be re-thinking the main event for UFC 103 (September 19th, Dallas) — which is great, considering it was a garbage-ass fight to begin with. MMA Junkie claims that the bout, though officially announced, was never added to the UFC 103 event page to begin with. It seems like odd treatment for an upcoming main event, unless something else is in the works; it’s been speculated that because of recent events, Franklin or Henderson could instead face off against Vitor Belfort or He Who Shall Not Be Named at #103. Belfort would be an awesome fill-in, though September might be too soon a return for You Know Who. Adding fuel to the rumor fire is Dana White’s recent announcement that the UFC will be holding a press conference on July 31st to discuss "a lot of crazy things." Stay tuned…

(Whaddya say, Rich — once more for old times’ sake?)

The announcement that a rematch between Dan Henderson and Rich Franklin would headline UFC 103 (September 19th, Dallas) came as a bit of a surprise to us. And apparently, Franklin was just as surprised as we were. Here’s how he described the booking to MMA Junkie:

Nice, Dana. Luckily, Franklin is being a good sport and going along with it, even if he still doesn’t know which weight class the fight will be contested at. Said Franklin: "I’m assuming (it’s at) 205…I haven’t spoken to anyone about it, so anything I say is only speculation…Even if [Henderson] lost to me at 205, it shouldn’t affect his standing at 185 pounds. So I’d assume the UFC would do this fight at 205."

(Whaddaya say, boys?  Once more, this time without eye-pokes?) 

Remember when the Dan Henderson-Michael Bisping scrap at UFC 100 was the fight to determine the number one contender in the middleweight division?  Neither does the UFC.  The organization announced today that Hendo’s reward for knocking Bisping out in the second round will be a rematch against Rich Franklin.  Who he already beat once.  So…congratulations?

Judging by the announcement on the UFC website, the official justification for this move is that the first fight was so close it “split the mixed martial arts community,” which is true to the extent that it is with any close fight (Akiyama-Belcher, Hardy-Davis, Franklin-Wanderlei) but it’s not as if a passionate mob of fans has been clamoring for a rematch since the first fight went down. 

Photos courtesy of The Las Vegas Sun, UFC.com, Sherdog, and MMA Weekly. Click all for larger images; lots more after the jump.

("And I’ll be taking your lunch money every morning, got it geek?")

The UFC paid out $2,190,000 in disclosed salaries and bonuses for Saturday’s UFC 100 show, with the victorious Brock Lesnar, Georges St. Pierre, and Dan Henderson taking home just over half of the total. Lesnar and St. Pierre also earn a percentage of the pay-per-view revenue, which isn’t reflected in the list below; according to MMA Junkie, Lesnar will make about $3 million from the fight even before the majority of his sponsorship money is tallied. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy. The salary figures are below:

– Brock Lesnar: $400,000 (no win bonus)

– Georges St. Pierre: $400,000 (includes $200,000 win bonus)

– Dan Henderson: $350,000 (includes $150,000 win bonus, $100,000 Knockout of the Night bonus)

– Yoshihiro Akiyama: $160,000 (includes $20,000 win bonus, $100,000 Fight of the Night Bonus)

– Michael Bisping: $150,000

– Alan Belcher: $119,000 (includes $100,000 Fight of the Night Bonus)

– Tom Lawlor: $116,000 (includes $8,000 win bonus, $100,000 Submission of the Night bonus)

– Mark Coleman: $100,000 (includes $50,000 win bonus)

(Lesnar-Mir provides a chilling preview of Lesnar-Sable later on that same night. Photo courtesy of USA Today.)

It’s time to see who’s up and who’s down after an epic weekend, and the Potato Index’s arbitrary numerical rankings system is here to help.  It’s like the stock market, only dumber.

Brock Lesnar (the fighter) +117
Sure, it was all brute force and not a lot of flashy technique.  And yes, he resembled a schoolyard bully more than a martial artist.  But the fact is Lesnar got the job done, and in convincing fashion.  Now the question is, could he beat someone his own size?

Brock Lesnar (the person) -56
We honestly didn’t think it was possible for Lesnar to hurt his own image so much even in victory.  But disrespecting everyone you can think of, from your opponent to a UFC sponsor, and then ending by suggesting that you might “get on top of” your wife (that really sounds like a satisfying sexual experience for her, BTW) is a good way to go about it.  Press conference apology was a good idea, but way too half-assed to make a dent.

(Uncontrollable giggling is probably not the reaction Brock had in mind when he got that tattoo. Photo courtesy of MMA Junkie.)

Maybe you’ve been a fan since Gerard Gordeau kicked Teila Tuli’s teeth into the second row. Maybe you’ve been a fan since Griffin and Bonnar threw down at the first TUF finale. Maybe you’re here because "UFC 100" has been a Trending Topic on Twitter all day. Whoever you are, we welcome you.

The menu for tonight: Brock Lesnar seeks Ultimate Validation against the man who humiliated him in his UFC debut. Georges St. Pierre meets the strongest, hungriest, scariest challenger of his title reign. Dan Henderson defends his country’s reputation against the British Invasion. A semi-famous blonde will hold a ring card and blow kisses to the camera. Smart-ass fans may or may not chant "Fedor!" after the final match. Minds will be blown, hearts will be broken, pants will be shat. Are you ready? Are you ready?

Round-by-round updates from the pay-per-view broadcast are after the jump. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest. Start stretching, Bruce…

(Props: MMA Connected)

Fighters who predict Dan Henderson will beat Michael Bisping, in the above video: Patrick Cote, Gray Maynard, Jon Fitch, Sean Sherk

Fighters who think it could go either way: Wanderlei Silva, Rashad Evans

Fighters who predict Michael Bisping will beat Dan Henderson: "…"   

Of course, when you stack the panel with American wrestlers, you’re bound to get a bias for one side. (I have a feeling that Dan Hardy and Paul Kelly see the fight differently.) But the general reality is, people think Bisping is going to get his ass kicked next weekend at UFC 100. According to MMA Moneyline, Bisping’s odds range from +180 at BetUS all the way to an alarming +240 at BetOnline. Sure, Hendo deserves to be the favorite — but an overwhelming one? I mean, Bisping could shock the world, right?

After the jump: Dan Henderson and Cyrille Diabate talk strategy for the Count.

(Combat Lifestyle captures Bisping’s wrestling practice at the brand new TapouT training center in Las Vegas.)

Here’s Michael Bisping, or as he will soon come to be known, “Johnny Takedown,” working on his wrestling skillz in advance of his UFC 100 bout with Dan Henderson next weekend.  You’ll recall that we previously laughed off the idea that Bisping might try and take Hendo down rather than just focusing all his energy on trying to stay upright.  And sure, maybe double-legs were only 10% of a wrestling practice that was 90% about sprawling and scrambling back to the feet.  Still, training takedowns this close to the fight makes it seem suspiciously like Bisping intends to turn Henderson’s greatest strengths against him.

If that is the plan, it’s now officially the worst kept secret in MMA.  Imagine how shocked Henderson would have been to see Bisping shoot for a takedown right off the bat.  Not now though.  After his wrestling coach blew up his spot and these pictures hit the internet, it’s safe to say the element of surprise is gone.

(MMA Fanhouse)

In this installment of the Tito Ortiz Talks About All the Cool Stuff He’s Got Planned, None of Which Will Actually Happen Show, the Huntington Beach Bad Boy discusses the fight league he’s not starting with Strikeforce called Punishment Fighting Championship, and his not close-to-finalized fight deal with Strikeforce. Honestly, we hate posting these Tito-related non-stories, but maybe some of you are interested in his continuing plunge into irrelevance. Anybody?

After the jump: A flashy little trailer for UFC 101, and a new career-spanning Dan Henderson highlight reel from Machinemen.

(This night was going so well, and then Bisping just had to launch into a chorus of "Rule Britannia" and make everyone uncomfortable.)

Here’s a crazy idea for you: what if Michael Bisping decided that instead of making his gameplan at UFC 100 all about avoiding the takedown and keeping the fight on the feet, he went out and tried to take Hendo down?  You know, Hendo as in Dan Henderson.  The former Olympic wrestler who has lately been winning fights purely by holding people down and battering their faces until they look as bad as he does.  What’s that you say, it would be a ridiculously poor and self-destructive strategy?  Well maybe you should tell that to Bisping’s wrestling coach, Zach Light:

"He will take Dan Henderson down more than one time in the fight. He will, that’s how he is going to win the fight. That is how I see it. When they start trading I think Mike will win the scrambles. Dan is a great scrambler but in a scramble situation I think Mike is going to come out on top every time.”

Okay, there are two ways we can interpret this remark:

(Props: MMA Scraps)

Not sure who these dudes are, but good Lord, check out the expression on the loser’s face after eating that kick. All he needs is some cartoon birds chirping around his head to complete the scene. Seriously, he’s lucky the winner didn’t run over and draw dicks on his face.

After the jump: Michael Bisping and Dan Henderson get a first look at the tricked-out Range Rovers they’ll be getting as rewards for coaching TUF 9. Both fighters say that they’re having great training camps in advance of their meeting at UFC 100, and are ready to get after it. Bisping actually feels like he could take on anyone in the world right now. He’ll need that confidence next month when Henderson is on top of him, covering his mouth and nose with one hand and punching him with the other.