(Saffiedine! Lim! Eleven fighters we’re so confident you won’t know that we aren’t even going to bother showing you their faces! Props to Michael Sempervive for the image.)

By Seth Falvo

With all of the coverage that UFC Fight Pass has been receiving, it’s hard to believe that it has only been two weeks since the launch of the network. So far, opinions have ranged from “pathetic cash grab” to “everything a fight fan could possibly want.” In an effort to evaluate Fight Pass up to this point, here are ten ways of looking at the network, arranged in no particular order.

1.) Should You Buy Fight Pass? Well, Should You Buy Netflix?

“Netflix for Fight Fans” is how Lorenzo Fertitta summed up the service, and honestly, that sounds about right. Fight Pass offers exclusive content in the form of international events and preliminary fights – just like how Netflix offers Orange is the New Black – but its selling point is its archives. If you already own all of your favorite fight cards on DVD and are only interested in watching the UFC’s pay-per-views, then Fight Pass has nothing to offer you. For the rest of us, it’s a matter of whether archives and international cards are worth $9.99 per month.

2.) It Isn’t Nearly the Bargain that Supporters Claim It Is.

The Netflix analogy doesn’t quite hold up though. I use my Netflix account every day, and regardless of who I’m watching it with, I can find something on there that everyone will enjoy. I’m not about to sit down and watch old fights on a daily basis, and unless the original documentaries that the UFC is promising us are downright spectacular, I doubt that my non-fight fan friends are going to want to watch Fight Pass with me. This doesn’t mean that Fight Pass is a waste of money, but let’s not pretend that paying $119.88 per year to watch old fights and Facebook preliminaries is the best thing to ever happen to MMA fans, either.

3.) It Isn’t Nearly the Insult That Detractors Claim It Is.

(Photo via Getty)

By Matt Saccaro

One of Dana White’s greatest talents is burying fighters. When old, broke war dogs speak out against the UFC, White cuts them down with assertions that he “makes millionaires” and labels detractors as “goofs” and “dummies.”

But can White do that to Georges St-Pierre, who recently called out the UFC for their drug testing policies. Well, we’ve already had a small taste of White’s verbal stylings. He questioned GSP’s manhood, implying that GSP airing his grievances with the media was somehow cowardly. He also said GSP’s actions were “kooky,” and that his claims were ridiculous.

That was just the opening salvo. What’ll Dana White say about his former meal ticket six months from now, a year from now, two years from now, when GSP’s relevance fades and insulting him carries less risk?

(White, seen here wearing the pound-for-pound best t-shirt from the pound-for-pound best Rocky film of all time. Pound-for-pound.)

I know, I know, we already agreed to stop letting this man do our thinking for us, but check this out.

During the Fight Night 35 post-fight media scrum, the topic of discussion quickly shifted from the event itself and to the recently booked bantamweight title fight between Renan Barao and Urijah Faber. Specifically, Dana White was asked what would be next for both fighters should Barao come out victorious (again). White’s response:

If Barao goes out and stops Faber, he’s probably the best pound-for-pound fighter in the world.

Well that was fast.

Barao, who is currently ranked #6 pound-for-pound on the UFC’s much-maligned rankings system, will catapult himself past the likes of Chris Weidman, Jon Jones, and Cain Velasquez should he defeat a guy he’s already beaten before. In what will officially be considered his first title win at 135 lbs. That’s the takeaway here.

(“So, did you find a stream of that UFC fight we bought tickets to, or will we have to show up halfway through the main event to play on our phones during it?”)

by CagePotato.com staff

1.You use “UFC” and “MMA” interchangeably.

2. You don’t know how to score a fight under PRIDE rules.

3. You boo fights the second they hit the ground.

4. Your “MMA training” consists of curling in the squat rack, shadowboxing while watching MMA (despite having never hit pads in your entire goddamn life), and picking fights at Buffalo Wild Wings.

5. You don’t have the UFC Fight Pass, security issues aside.

6. You don’t have Legacy FC and Titan FC fight cards committed to memory.

7. Your pathetic DVD collection doesn’t even have any events from Rumble on the Rock.

(Props: FOX Sports)

Erasing the bitter memory of his unsuccessful Octagon debut, Luke Rockhold began building his own UFC highlight-reel last night at UFC Fight Night 35 with a first-round body-kick TKO of Costa Philippou. Rockhold picked up a $50,000 Knockout of the Night bonus for the effort. At the post-fight press conference, Rockhold did what every surging middleweight does after a big win — he called out Michael Bisping:

“I’m looking at anyone in the middleweight division to get myself back into (title) position,” Rockhold said. “I already let it be known Bisping’s out there. A lot of people are calling him out, but Bisping went on national TV and told everybody he was the unofficial Strikeforce champion. He calls it a joke and this and that, but I say he’s got bad taste and he needs to pay for it.”

In other bonus news, featherweight Cole Miller won Submission of the Night for his second-round rear-naked choke of Sam Sicilia — which Miller followed up by calling out Donald “Clownboy” Cerrone in the post-fight interview — while middleweights Yoel Romero and Derek Brunson both got $50,000 bumps for FOTN. Highlights from both those matches are embedded at the end of this post.

Romero — who earned his third-consecutive KO/TKO win in the UFC by stopping Brunson with savage ground-and-pound in the third round — claims to have not pooped his pants during the match, despite damning Vine evidence to the contrary. However, Romero can’t deny the dick-punch he landed on Brunson. That was ugly, bro.

In injury news…

(Dana White’s “I’m not the president of a massive company” pose, typically used by presidents of massive companies. / Photo via Getty.)

A few years ago, Matt Brown’s recent, sexist comments about women’s MMA wouldn’t have rocked the boat much. Some people would’ve complained, citing such infractions of decency as the reason why the UFC wasn’t where the NFL was in terms of mainstream appeal. Dana White would’ve simply responded “Fuck you, dummy” or some other dismissive, useless remark. The UFC is cool, and it’s cool because the fighters aren’t corporate, generic, and anodyne. They’re as real as it gets, as opposed to the walking-press releases that are athletes in other major sports.

For proof, look no further than motorboat-gate. Rampage Jackson acted lecherously towards a female reporter (and this wasn’t the first time he’d done such a thing). Nothing happened. When Yahoo’s Maggie Hendricks lambasted Rampage and the MMA media, Joe Rogan called her “cunty” and MMA fans thought it was the cleverest comeback since Lord Palmerston verbally thrashed his enemies in parliament.

CagePotato’s own Ben Goldstein got to the crux of the issue:

Nine out of ten UFC fans will side with Quinton Jackson and Joe Rogan every time, because Rampage and Joe are awesome, and motorboating is hilarious, and who the fuck is Maggie Hendricks anyway? Seriously, here’s another representative comment from the UG thread from member ‘Bat21?:

“shitty cunty?!?!? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!
Fuck, I’m still laughing after 5 minutes. You’re the man, Joe.”

Jesus. If this is the mindset of the average UFC fan, then good luck being taken seriously, guys.

A high-profile commentator for the NFL or NBA couldn’t get away with throwing around slurs like this in public forums. I know that the fast-and-loose quality of the UFC’s frontmen and fighters has been part of the brand’s great success to this point. But there will come a time (we hope) when MMA is so popular that guys like Rampage and Rogan will have to behave like gentlemen — so they may as well start practicing for it now.

Has this time finally come? Do UFC employees finally have to behave, as Ben Goldstein put it, like gentlemen?

(Does this look like the face of guy who would duck a fight? / Photo via Getty.)

Remember when the UFC showed they could still book great matches when they paired off Khabib Nurmagomedov and Gilbert Melendez? And remember how they canceled that fight for no reason?

The UFC apparently had other plans for Nurmagomedov—the kind that involved a fight against Nate Diaz. According to Dana White, Diaz wanted none of it.

@EDLEZGIN @TeamKhabib Nate turned the fight down

— Dana White (@danawhite) January 11, 2014

Needless to say, Diaz wasn’t happy with White’s words. He rushed to twitter to protect his Stockton street-cred.

@danawhite @ufc are full of shit I didn’t turn down anything …

— Nathan Diaz (@NateDiaz209) January 12, 2014

We all probably think our bosses are full of shit to some extent, but saying it in public isn’t the smartest idea.

(2014: The year that Dana White buys this dog. For Bjorn Rebney. Too soon?)

When former CagePotato.com contributor Jason Moles announced his retirement in 2013, it appeared that there wouldn’t be a “Crazy Enough to be True” predictions column for 2014. Rather than let the opportunity to make outlandish assumptions about the state of our favorite sport pass us up, we’ve decided to offer our wildest ideas in the form of a CagePotato Roundtable. Read on for our picks, share yours in the comments section, and please continue to send your ideas for future CagePotato Roundtable topics to tips@cagepotato.com.

Ben Goldstein

(Mariusz Pudzianowski defends his UFC Poland Super-Heavyweight Title against honorary polack Bob Sapp. / Photo via Sherdog)

Though the UFC once laid claim to the title of fastest-growing sport, the promotion has begun to hit its ceiling in the United States. And they know it — which is why they’ve been pushing so hard for World Fucking Domination lately. After finding major success in international markets like Canada and Brazil, the UFC has been busy laying the groundwork in overseas locales as far-flung as Singapore, India, Turkey, and Poland.

The problem is, none of these upcoming markets have the talent pool available to produce a world champion in the foreseeable future. Or a top contender. Or a fighter who could credibly compete anywhere on a pay-per-view main card. That’s why I’m predicting that 2014 will see the unveiling of individual UFC titles for countries/continents. I mean, Vitor Belfort is already the middleweight champion of Brazil, right? They might as well give him a belt and make it official.

(HELL YES I’D LIKE SECONDS. Photo via Getty.)

You gotta love us MMA media types. All we need is a snippet of not news to throw our spin on and suddenly, the internet is afire with ridiculous rumors based on the smallest semblance of evidence. Take the current “reports” of a potential Brock Lesnar return to the UFC. When asked about the possibility of seeing Lesnar (who will be in attendance at UFC 168) making a triumphant octagon return at the UFC 168 scrum, here was DW’s *verbatim* response:

I honestly don’t know. Honestly. I don’t know.

That’s it. Yet what headline is dominating every MMA website out there? Oh, something along the lines of “Is Brock Lesnar returning to the UFC?”, citing the exact quote I just provided you with. Well allow me to answer the question on (apparently) everyone’s mind for you: No, dumb-dumb, Brock Lesnar is NOT coming back to the UFC. Here’s why:

(And when Cella was just lying there all comatose while everyone was fearing for his life? FUCKING. AWESOME.)

As MMA fans, it’s safe to say that we can appreciate a good knockout when we see one. The timing, the precision, the simultaneous grace and utter devastation — these are all factors we take into account when, say, deciding the greatest knockout of the year. But as we are continuously reminded in the aftermath of knockouts like the spinning back kick Uriah Hall hit Adam Cella with on TUF 17, the line between a brilliant knockout and a hard-to-watch knockout is a thin one. As amazing as these displays of technique are to witness, they can often leave a sour taste in one’s mouth when the victim appears to be seriously injured as a result.

So perhaps we’re in the minority here, but when Dana White recently attempted to hype the 19th season of TUF by promising fans “a f*cking scary knockout,” we were less than enthused (okay, sarcastically enthused) to say the least (via Fox Sports):

We had the fights to get into the house yesterday on The Ultimate Fighter, probably the nastiest f-king knockout.  It beats Uriah Hall knockout. Was Uriah Hall not one of the sickest knockouts you’ve ever seen?  This one beats it.  Picture how f-king scary this knockout is.

On one hand, this could just be another instance of White attempting to stir up some buzz for a season of TUF that he knows no one is interested in. On the other, should we even be excited by this news?