(Dana White spends some quality time with his fans. / Photo via Jake Roth-USA TODAY Sports)

By Brian J. D’Souza

There are many contentious subjects in mixed martial arts, from the use of performance enhancing drugs to the corruption and ineptitude of various athletic commissions. Before the issues come into focus, they are often filtered by the entity that draws an epic amount of criticism within the sport itself — the so-called “MMA media.”

Yet far from being a homogonous group of “bloggers,” “hacks,” or “shills,” the public would be surprised to learn that there are actually different individuals that comprise the MMA media. Some were drawn to MMA because they love the sport, others were assigned to cover the UFC by their editors, but whether they’re writing as a hobby or as part of the special entourage of writers who get the best seats at shows and special events, the MMA media operates under circumstances that directly impedes their ability to report accurate and truthful stories.

Corruption and controversy have always been at the heart of mixed martial arts since the sport’s modern inception in the 1990s. Then again, maybe Mark Coleman (Olympian, UFC heavyweight champion and PRIDE open weight GP champion) didn’t throw his fight against professional wrestler/PRIDE founder Nobuhiko Takada (career record: 3-6-2) at PRIDE 5? And all the fighters who’ve tested positive for performance enhancers were maliciously framed by athletic commissions, or were taking legal (but tainted) supplements, or had the drugs administered by their doctor without their knowledge?

The media matters because they can bring attention and scrutiny to the dark corners of the sport. Greasing by an athlete? Suspicious judges’ decision? Rival promoter extorted at gunpoint for the rights of their fighter? There have to be news stories that shed light on the truth, especially when you consider that accurate information isn’t always volunteered by the fight promotions or state athletic commissions.

The current mixed martial arts landscape is dominated by the UFC. The question over the hold the UFC has over the media needs to be examined so fans understand the constraints that the MMA media works under.

(“I would consider it an honor to fight a great champion like Chael Sonnen. LOL, just kidding.” Photo via Esther Lin/MMAFighting)

Not that reports like this are ever worth a damn, but in accordance with the current mood of UFC President Dana White, Swedish light-heavyweight contender Alexander Gustafsson will receive a title shot if he can beat Gegard Mousasi in the main event of UFC on FUEL TV 9, April 6th in Stockholm.

“If Mousasi beats Gustafsson, he skyrockets right to the top of that division,” White said today in London. “And as far as Gustafsson goes, if he beats Mousasi in that fight, he’s in line for a title shot. This is a big fight for both of those guys.”

This, of course, is an old trick — pumping up a non-title-fight main event by declaring that it has title fight “implications.” But the UFC could very likely stick to their word this time, if for no other reason than to further punish Dan Henderson for his role in sinking UFC 151 and Lyoto Machida for refusing a title shot at UFC 152. Those two poor saps will be playing second-fiddle to a couple of broads in ten days at UFC 157.

Gustafsson has won his last six fights, which ties him for #4 on the list of longest current UFC win streaks. Would a seventh win against Mousasi convince you that he’d be a threat to Bones?

(Ryan Couture poses for a photo with his father, billionaire fragrance-baron Randy Couture.)

By Elias Cepeda

To say Ryan Couture’s MMA career has moved fast is an understatement. The son of perhaps the most accomplished MMA fighter in history, Randy Couture, Ryan left a banking job just a few years ago to train full-time in Las Vegas with his father, and only two and a half years into his professional career, he has put together a four-fight win streak against great fighters in Strikeforce.

Though his last name has created a whirlwind around him since day one, the junior Couture has kept his head down and stayed humble while working hard to perfect his craft. With the week Ryan has had, it is a good thing that he had practice at keeping cool and collected amidst craziness.

The 30-year-old lightweight upset K.J. Noons in mid-January on Strikeforce’s final card. It was assumed that several Strikeforce champions and contenders would be offered UFC contracts after that event but nothing was certain for Couture.

Like all up-and-coming fighters, it was Couture’s dream to make it to the UFC. He took some time to rest after the Noons fights, got back to light training and waited for word about his future.

“I have a rule where I take one week after a fight and do nothing but eat cheeseburgers and drink beer,” Ryan says with a chuckle. “But after that, I got back to lifting and doing strength and conditioning with Jake [Bonacci], just trying to ease back up to working on the mat because my face was banged up.”

Then, a week ago Couture says he got a life-changing call from UFC President Dana White. Ryan was offered a UFC contract, but it came with one serious caveat.

(“OK, Jon, let’s call it a day. I’ve got to go get some fans.”)

Greg Jackson, world-renowned mixed martial arts trainer and Dana White-described “fucking sport killer” is known by MMA fans near and far for his ability to predict the mindsets of opposing fighters and react accordingly. He has created intricate, masterly crafted gameplans that have in turn helped propel the likes of Georges St. Pierre, Rashad Evans, and Jon Jones to the ultimate level of MMA glory. But as they say, “Those who can’t do, teach.” “They” were clearly referring to none other than Greg Jackson, who stated in an interview today that he didn’t “foresee any future problems” with the UFC despite the fact that he’s hopped on board Bellator’s upcoming TUF-ripoff reality show:

No, I don’t think so because like Randy (Couture) I’ve worked with Bellator before, and I don’t think it should be a problem. My fighters are my fighters, and I’m me and like Frank (Shamrock) said as well, I think it’s good for the sport.

Even Dana (White) would admit that it’s good for the sport to have other organizations around.  So I don’t foresee any problems.

Oh Greg, you ignorant slut. After all this time in the game, you think you would have a better understanding of The Baldfather’s view on friendly competition.

(Belfort is not a “TRT abuser,” okay? He has always treated TRT with the utmost respect and tenderness. / Photo via RyanLoco.com)

On Friday morning, rumors began to spread that Vitor Belfort had failed a drug test for his UFC on FX 7 headlining fight against Michael Bisping last month. Between Belfort’s stammering recent response about TRT and his previous PED-bust in 2006, it was one of those rumors that immediately gained traction because it seemed perfectly believable. But was there any actual truth to it? Well, we have some good news and some bad news. Here’s what UFC president Dana White had to say when asked about the Belfort rumor following the UFC 156 press-conference on Saturday night (transcribed by MMAWeekly and BloodyElbow):

“There was an irregular test. Something was wrong. Whenever something wrong happens, or weird, (the samples) get retested and, usually, it’s not a good thing. It (expletive) was not Vitor Belfort. Yet, right now I bet if you talked to 100 people, 100 people will tell you that Vitor Belfort failed his drug test in Brazil. That’s (expletive)…I do know the results. They’ll be out Monday… [Ed. note: *checks calendar* Sweet!]

(Go on. Ask him if he gives a f*ck.)

The odds of Randy Couture getting a cushy no-show desk job with the UFC have officially dropped to zero. In the wake of Couture accepting a position to be the new superstar face of Spike TV and Bellator, UFC president Dana White tore into the Natural, blasting his lack of loyalty and even questioning his character as a human being. Here’s what DW had to say about it yesterday:

“I’ll say my peace on Randy Couture, and after today, I’ll never mention him again. The bottom-line is this: When that whole thing went down with Randy years ago, we weren’t on the best of terms. Now, before that happened, Randy Couture was on the Matt Hughes, Chuck Liddell deal. He was getting a salary, he was in with the company, he was one of those guys. Then he tries to do all this stuff, pull all this bullshit with Affliction, loses and comes back. So, it took me a long time to warm up to him. His lawyer, who I can’t stand, calling our lawyer every day, saying, ‘We want to come back, we want that job again, we want to work for the UFC,’ and all this stuff. Finally, I just say, ‘yes,’ and give him the FOX [commentary] deal…

(My God, the “TUF 18: Strawweights” team challenges are going to be OFF THE CHAIN.) 

In an interview with MMAJunkie, UFC President Dana White revealed that the promotion had recently traveled to Mexico to scout fighters for a possible 115-pound division in the UFC. Considering the UFC’s hesitance to even use the word “Flyweight” during their promotion of UFC on Fox: Johnson vs. Dodson, this news should come as a pretty big surprise to most of us. Then again, The Baldfather previously stated that we would never see women’s MMA in the UFC, and now this is a thing that is happening. And according to White, the trip was a huge success:

It went very well. A lot of guys showed up, it was very successful, and the guys we sent down were very excited with what they saw.

As we know, the UFC’s flyweight division was added all of a year ago, and is currently composed of just 13 fighters. While last weekend’s event should have put all doubt to rest in regards to the legitimacy and marketability of the smaller weight classes, it also highlighted a noticeable problem in the division: matchmaking. Granted, the division is still in the infant stages of development, but if the UFC is looking to continue promoting flyweights in the long run, their focus should be on beefing up that division, not necessarily adding another. Still, this is good news for any disgruntled Ewoks, Oompa Loompas, or members of The Lollipop Guild who find themselves outmatched by the mammoth of a man that is Demetrious Johnson.

This is Pedro Nobre, the TUF: Brazil alum who made his UFC debut last weekend at UFC on FX 7 against fellow Brazilian Iuri Alcantara. As you can tell from the neck brace he is sporting in the above photo, his debut did not go well. Alcantara landed a few supposedly illegal shots to the back of Nobre’s dome, and likely in an effort to make up for his poor performance during the Alessio Sakara/Patrick Cote debacle at UFC 154, referee Dan Miragliotta waved the bout off and declared it a no contest when Nobre was unable to continue.

The only problem was that 90% of the shots Alcantara landed, if not all of them, were neither illegal nor all that devastating (at least from our perspective), which prompted Dana White to post the following on Twitter:

In fact, White became so enraged by Nobre’s Oscar-worthy performance that he recently all but completely closed the door on Nobre’s future UFC aspirations.

After the jump: White’s scathing comments, along with a gif of the stoppage.

(“Why yes, Dana, the blonde gentleman in the lower left *is* my doctor. What of it?”)

The Sam and Diane relationship between Josh Barnett and the UFC continues to forge ahead, Potato Nation. Fortunately, we have more than an outdated UFC.com profile to go with this time. During the media scrum following the UFC 158 press conference earlier today, Dana White was questioned by MMAMania about the likelihood of seeing “The Warmaster” back in the octagon, and the UFC President was surprisingly optimistic:

I have not (spoken with Barnett). It’s probably going to happen.

There you have it; absolute and undeniable proof that Barnett is back, baby. And here you thought we were just tugging your respective dicks this whole time. Shame on you.

(Fight week, barf week. Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

Answer: Nobody. Not even you. Watching this video might seem like a good idea at the time, but once that scalpel goes in at the 5:18 mark and they start separating the damn thing from its hinges, you’ll be like, “nah, it’s cool. I paid way too much for that McMuffin to lose it now.”

The good news is, Dana White‘s surgery for Meniere’s Disease last week — in which a plastic tube was inserted into his left ear, which will allow excess fluid to drain — was a success, although the procedure won’t cure the condition completely. The UFC president will be back in action this weekend at UFC on FOX 6: Johnson vs. Dodson, as will commentator Mike Goldberg, who is returning from an upper respiratory infection.

(“Keep laughing, Eddie, because as soon as you lose that belt, your ass is mine.”) 

Former President Clinton once made infamous the phrase, “It depends on what your definition of the word ’is’ is,” while answering questions from the Independent Counsel’s office on the all-important subject of Monica Lewinsky. With former Bellator lightweight champion/UFC hopeful Eddie Alvarez and his boss, Bjorn Rebney, the discrepancy appears to depend on what one’s definition of the word “matched” is.

It has been no secret that the UFC wants Alvarez under their banner. The top lightweight fought the last fight under his Bellator contract last October but the promotion has the right to match any contract offered to Alvarez and thus keep him with them.

The UFC did indeed recently make an offer to Alvarez, but it is here where the stories from the former champ and the Bellator CEO begin to differ.

First, Alvarez sat down with The MMA Hour and claimed that Bellator had not matched the UFC’s proposed terms. Rebney then went on MMA Weekly Radio and said that his organization had, in fact, matched the UFC’s contract offer to Alvarez, point for point.

And then things got really awkward.

(Props: MiddleEasyTV)

Remember when Nick Diaz was booked for the biggest fight of his career in a title shot against Georges St. Pierre, but then decided to no-show two days in a row for media events? Or when he lost an interim title bout to Carlos Condit, was offered an immediate rematch but then couldn’t do the fight because he got high?

Well, we do, and chances are Diaz does as well since he’s been sitting on the sidelines for nearly a year serving out his most recent marijuana-related drug suspension. So it surprised us to hear that Diaz, who is receiving a world title shot for the third consecutive time despite coming off of a loss and failed drug test suspension, still seems to be walking the line with the UFC and its President Dana White.

MiddleEasy recently spoke with White and asked him if he expected Diaz to make good on his pre-event promotion commitments this time around before his scheduled fight with St. Pierre at UFC 158. “He’s been sitting out so long. This is a fight that he wanted. He really wanted this fight to happen and Georges St. Pierre called him out. He’s getting it. So, yes, I expect Diaz to be there,” White said.

When asked if he had actually received such an assurance from Diaz himself, however, Diaz said that he had not even spoken with the fighter recently despite reaching out to him. “I have not. Nick Diaz doesn’t return my calls, texts, nothing,” he said.

(In honor of Reilly’s impending retirement, we proudly present the most embarrassing moment of his entire political career. You crazy for that one, Bob.)

By Elias Cepeda

Alright, we don’t want to get your hopes up but…

According to a New York State Assembly “insider” quoted in a new report by NY Daily News reporter Kenneth Lovett, “It’s getting harder for [Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver] to keep blocking this,” referring to the bill partially crafted by the UFC to sanction MMA in New York.

“Resistance to it is getting less,” Speaker Silver admitted.

Lovett went on to explain in his report that Assemblyman Robert Reilly — better known around here as “Bob,” and one of New York’s most passionate, confused, and dishonest opponents of MMA sanctioning — is miraculously retiring this week (!!!) and that his departure should take a good deal of steam out of the opposition to MMA in New York. The ban on professional MMA in the state was signed into law by then-Governor George Pataki in 1997, but now even he is calling for the sport’s legalization.

Sources tell The Daily News that if the bill to legalize and regulate professional MMA in New York were brought to a vote in the general assembly right now, it would be passed. However, hurdles remain for the sport and its largest promotion, the UFC. Members of the NY Assembly including Deborah Glick and Daniel O’Donnell still oppose MMA’s legalization, the report says, and they might be able to prevent the measure from getting through committee and to the general assembly for voting.

In addition, the Culinary Workers Union — MMA’s most powerful arch-nemesis in the fight for New York MMA regulation — continues its loud propaganda campaign against the UFC, slamming everything from Dana White’s language to Mandy Moore’s judgment. (Funny story: If you go to the Culinary Union’s anti-UFC website UnfitforChildren.org right now, the lead story is a screen-cap of a CagePotato article. Wisely, they didn’t reprint the article’s first line, which refers to the Union as “two-faced, propaganda pushing arseholes.”)

Nevertheless, UFC President Dana White seems to be as optimistic as ever that his organization will soon put on an event in New York. After UFC 155, the promoter told assembled media that he hoped to host a UFC 20th Anniversary event in Manhattan’s Madison Square Garden this coming fall. “We have a date, and we have a match,” White revealed.

As MMA gamely stumbles into 2013, we’ve once again decided to bestow meaningless awards to the fighters and moments that caught our attention this year. CagePotato’s crack team of writers spent all month nominating winners in 27 different categories, which we’ve loosely arranged in chronological order. Use the “next page” links to scroll through this monster, or click on the following page links at your leisure. And as always, thanks for putting up with us for another year. Here’s to bigger and better things in 2013, which shouldn’t be a tough goal to hit, considering.

Page 1: Knockout of the Year, Comeback Fight of the Year, Worst Performance in a Drug Test, ‘WTF?’ Moment of the Year

Page 2: The Krazy Horse Bennett Arrest of the Year Award, Worst Event of the Year, Worst Fight of the Year, Best Fight of the Year

Page 3: The Cecil Peoples Shittiest Decision of the Year Award, Most Bizarre MMA News Story of the Year, The Dana White Crazy Freakout of the Year Award, MMA Twitter Photo of the Year

Page 4: Greatest Fight Canceled Due to Injury, The Minowaman Freak Show Hall of Fame Award, Most Satisfying Beatdown, Comeback Fighter of the Year

Page 5: MMA Fail of the Year, Catchphrase of the Year, The Steve Nelmark Memorial “Is He Dead?” Award, Best Female Newcomer

Page 6: The “Really? You’re Just Gonna Keep Doing that Shit that Gets You in All That Trouble?” Award (a.k.a. “The Koppenhaver”), Gnarliest Injury of the Year, Best Event of the Year, Submission of the Year

Page 7: The Inaugural “Okay, It’s FINALLY Safe to Call This Guy Wasted Potential” Award (a.k.a. “The Filho”), Greatest Hype Deflation, Greatest MMA GIFs of the Year

(And there was much rejoicing…)

If any of you were questioning Gilbert Melendez’s decision to remain off Strikeforce’s final card in January, maybe now you can see his motivation. In a recent interview with MMAJunkie, Dana White revealed that “El Nino” would “probably” receive an immediate title shot when he makes the trip over to the UFC, a statement that will more than likely be responsible for hundreds of conspiracy theories regarding the legitimacy of Melendez’s recent injuries. Of course, this came just before The Baldfather lamented about how bad Strikeforce fighters have had it since the UFC absorbed the promotion (presumably while mimicking Shooter McGavin), so perhaps we should take his statement with a grain of salt:

(Melendez will) probably come right in and get a title shot. Again, we’ll see.

What has happened to the fighters in Strikeforce is horrible. The way this thing went down is horrible, and they’ve been very patient. What’s happened over there has been completely s—ty.

Right, and we’re sure Hitler felt awfully bad about the living conditions at Auschwitz as well. “No veigh? Zey don’t even get a nice cot to szleep on? Zose bastards!” We’re not comparing Dana White to Hitler, we’re just saying.

For that matter, could Good Guy Junior have saved last season?

We’rejust finishing up with a season of The Ultimate Fighter that most of us didn’t even pretend to watch, and are getting ready for a season that we’ll only watch to see how creatively Chael Sonnen can troll Jon Jones. Okay, perhaps some of us actually want to watch TUF for less cynical reasons – say because it’s free MMA or to see if the show discovers a legitimate fighter who has slipped through the cracks – just like how some professional football fans actually keep up with the UFL.

With the show in desperate need of a mix-up, Dana White has been open to the idea of casting Ronda Rousey as a coach, while still keeping the contestants themselves men. The idea picked up even more steam yesterday when White suggested that Ronda Rousey could be coaching against Miesha Tate on an upcoming season of The Ultimate Fighter. Via MMAFighting:

“It could happen,” White said. “If there’s two people who would probably coach, you kick [the idea] around, this could happen, that could happen. If they did, it could be [Rousey] and Miesha. You know, we’ll see. Timing has a lot do with it.”

(“Jon Jones can count on three things: Death, taxes, and Chael Sonnen whippin’ your ass.”/ Video via YouTube.com/UFC)

- Tim Kennedy Takes Shot At Fighters Who Pulled Out Of Strikeforce Bouts (Fightline)

- Dana White on Gay Fighter Liz Carmouche: ‘I Love What She Did’ (MMAFighting)

- Mata Leon’s Sexy New BJJ Kimono Ad (BloodyElbow)

- MMA’s Top 10 ‘Holy S#!t’ Moments of 2012 (BleacherReport)

- Check Out the 20-Second Fight That Almost Ended in a Double KO (MiddleEasy)

- Video: Reshat Mati, 13 Year Old MMA and Boxing Prodigy (FightDay)

- 5 Other Apocalypses That Didn’t Happen (Besides the 2012 Mayan Apocalypse) (EgoTV)

- The Quentin Tarantino Soundboard (Complex)

- 6 Supplements You Shouldn’t Be Skipping (MensFitness)

- The 50 Best Viral Videos of 2012 (WorldWideInterweb)

- RAW COMMENTARY: ‘Muppet Christmas Carol’ (ScreenJunkies)

- Adorable. (Facebook.com/CagePotato)

(I have no joke prepared. I simply wanted another opportunity to remind you that this was a thing that happened.)

Desperate times call for desperate measures, Nation. And since the ratings for The Ultimate Fighter are nose-diving faster than Charlie Sheen into a silica sandbox, old Dana White has had to step up his obligatory pre-TUF hype a notch. You might recall this from last season’s TUF: Smashes, which Dana declared to be the “CRAZIEST SEASON OF TUF EVER!!!!” in the weeks leading up to it; a claim that — although we cannot refute — we are going to go right ahead and call bullshit on.

So perhaps you should take his recent bit of insider info regarding The Ultimate Fighter 17 with a grain (or a 10-pound bag) of salt. The Baldfather recently told MMAFighting that there is apparently one contestant on the upcoming season so dangerous, so terrifying, that he is “scaring the shit out of” his fellow contestants:

I know you guys are going to call bulls— on me and all that (Ed note: Well, at least he’s honest.). I told you guys, last season of The Ultimate Fighter was the worst season in the history of TUF (Again, props DW). This next season is so awesome and so badass. We have a guy on this season of The Ultimate Fighter, every fight he’s in, someone goes to the hospital.

The whole house is terrified of this guy. F– terrified.

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(You see, kids, this is why we don’t break the fourth rule of Project Mayhem. Photo via Complex)

By Jason Moles

As is customary, nay tradition, around these parts, we’re hitting the eggnog early and often this week — thus, the obligatory Top 10 list to close out another year in the world of mixed martial arts. It’s not all fluff, though: Last year we predicted a champion would test positive for a banned substance and Brock Lesnar would retire. Not bad, huh? So grab a seat while we break out the crystal ball and see what 2013 has in store for us.

1.) Showtime stays in the MMA biz, will announce deal with Invicta FC and others.

MMA is just too popular to completely wash your hands of. Showtime may finally be done with Strikeforce, but that only means they’re now free to partner up with the likes of all-female Invicta FC or the World Series of Fighting, both of which could be looking for more permanent homes after their early success in 2012. Don’t let the Invicta PPV news fool you; they can’t win that battle. No matter who inks the deal, expect Showtime to counter-program at least one UFC event.

2.) A Ronda Rousey loss brings about the swift execution of women’s MMA in the UFC.

(And another thing that bugs me about the guy is his insistence on using curse words so often. It’s like, for fuck’s sake Bob, our fucking children are watching this shit.) 

When it comes to picking sides in a fight between Dana White and Bob Arum, it often feels like we’re simply choosing the lesser of two evils. Don’t get us wrong, aside from his stance on marijuana in combat sports, Bob Arum comes off as a chode for the most part, especially when he decides to open his mouth about how MMA fans are all a bunch of homosexual skinhead racists. But every now and again, The Baldfather says something so pants-shittingly stupid and drenched in irony that it makes us wonder whether or not he has been completely blinded by his own power. Take the following for example, in which DW calls Arum “the dumbest promoter in the history of the world” for allowing Manny Pacquiao to fight Juan Manuel Marquez a fourth time:

Dumbest fight in history. Bob Arum is a moron. You don’t take that fight, you idiot. Why would you do that fight? It’s all about the money, that’s why. That was a money fight, that’s what that fight was done for. He should have fought Bradley. Bradley’s the fight they should have done. He would have knocked Bradley out, he would have got his belt back and now he’s back in the position he should have been in. [Pacquiao's] one of the best fighters in the world. He goes out and fights Marquez again? Bob Arum is the dumbest promoter in the history of the world.

Right…but Jon Jones vs. Chael Sonnen and Georges St. Pierre vs. Nick Diaz are somehow not “money fights.” In case you’re wondering, this is where I’d normally insert a Scanners headsplosion gif, but I’m too busy trying to nurse the puppy I just kicked after reading this quote back to life.

(We’re not trying to say that Bisping is looking past Vitor Belfort, but…yes, Bisping is literally looking past Vitor Belfort. / Photo via @vitorbelfort)

The UFC has always seemed to favor British star Michael Bisping, so it came as a surprise when Dana White announced to media on Saturday that “The Count” would “probably” receive a middleweight title shot should he beat Vitor Belfort next month in Brazil. I mean, why would Dana give the poor, defenseless Brit a virtual death sentence in a fight with Anderson Silva?

Oh, that’s right — Bisping has, in the verbiage of much of the media, “been campaigning for years” for a shot at the middleweight title. Of course, Bisping’s arguments have been more verbal than physical lately, as his current win streak stands at 1. (Still, that’s one more than Nick Diaz and Chael Sonnen can boast; if anything, Bisping is over-qualified to fight for the belt.) In related news, it was announced that Chris Weidman will now have to begin fighting and beating two opponents at once from now on to earn consideration for a shot at the middleweight title.

Anyway, this is just one of those “news” items that exists primarily to anger us, more than anything else. Bisping could very likely be creamed by Belfort at UFC on FX 7. Or, maybe Dana’s vague promise of a resulting title shot is just something he likes to say to make a fight seem more important.

After the jump: A video highlight of Michael Bisping getting knocked out by Dan Henderson. Yes, it really is a highlight video of that one punch over and over, along with arrogant promises from Bisping that belied his lack of self-awareness, and brief moments of him having difficulty opening a door. And before you accuse us of posting this just to bash the Count, well, we are, but only because he’s a bullying, cheating, race-baiting dick who is prejudiced against the short. That’s all.

(Photo courtesy of Getty Images. Click for full-size version.)

BJ Penn‘s 15-minute ass-kicking at the hands of Rory MacDonald at UFC on FOX 5 accomplished several things: Most importantly, it gave MacDonald a grand stage to introduce himself as one of the rulers of the welterweight division. (Established veterans and up-and-coming prospects alike are now calling him out to get attention for themselves.) The fight gave Penn the new record for total time spent in the Octagon — five hours, three minutes, and 51 seconds, surpassing Tito Ortiz — and helped sustain Penn’s own personal statistic of never being knocked down in the Octagon, a piece of trivia made even more astounding by the damage he was taking on Saturday.

The fight also meant that Penn’s six UFC appearances from 2010-2012 have resulted in only a single victory, his 21-second demolition of Matt Hughes at UFC 123. His last two fights (against MacDonald and Nick Diaz) were utterly lopsided, and before that, he was lucky to escape with a draw against Jon Fitch. As a welterweight, BJ Penn is no longer competitive with the best in the world. And like many legendary fighters, he’ll probably be the last person to realize it.

Will Penn take this latest whooping as a sign that it’s time to hang up the gloves for good? Here’s Dana White’s take on the subject, following the event:

(Look Dana, if his knee was really still injured, would he be playing in a professional baseball winter league?)

By Elias Cepeda

After earning a shot at the UFC light heavyweight title, Alexander Gustafsson said Saturday night that he won’t wait around for the winner of champion Jon Jones vs. Chael Sonnen to fight again. Jones and Sonnen are currently slated to face one another for Jones’ belt after the season of The Ultimate Fighter that they are currently coaching on finishes.

The Swedish contender put himself in line for a shot with a dominant unanimous decision win over Mauricio “Shogun” Rua at Saturday’s UFC on Fox card but at the post event press conference said that he would be happy to risk his title shot by fighting again in the interim. “I want to fight for the belt, and if they give me one before that, it doesn’t matter. I’ll fight whoever the UFC gives me,” he said.

“I want to stay active, and I want to fight.” The young kickboxer has no interest in waiting another half year or more to fight.

“I’ll fight whenever. I was away for a long time. The last time I fought was in April, and that was too long. To wait till summer again, that would be too long.”

UFC President Dana White seems to be in accordance with that thought. “If I was [Gustafsson], I’d want to get another fight in before taking on Jon Jones,” he said.

“He could fight again. I’m hearing Dan Henderson’s knee isn’t better, so maybe Gustafsson should fight Machida next,” White continued.

Henderson’s poor health status is evidentally news to the fighter himself. The former Pride champion was scheduled to fight Jon Jones earlier this year but pulled out after he injured his knee in training camp. He is now scheduled to take on former UFC champion Lyoto Machida in February at UFC 157: These Chicks Can Fight.

On his twitter account, Dan reacted incredulously to White’s supposed inside information on his knee. “Not sure where @danawhite thinks he’s hearing that my knee isn’t doing ok. It’s doing great. Slowly picking training up just like I do for every training camp,” he tweeted.

(Related clip: Tito and Cyborg rolling together in June 2011. Skip to 2:30 to see Cyborg lift Tito like a damsel in distress. Anyway, they’re business partners now. / Props: MMA Heat)

A few heads were scratched when the UFC announced yesterday that UFC 157 would be headlined by Ronda Rousey taking on Liz Carmouche. Rousey’s star is certainly on the rise and is as good a bet as any first-time pay-per-view headliner would be, but Carmouche is relatively unknown outside of hardcore Women’s Mixed Martial Arts circles. and WMMA as a PPV entity is unproven on the whole.

It made more sense once it was revealed that several opponents, including currently suspended former 145-pound champion Cristaine “Cyborg” Santos, had turned Rousey down. The potential Rousey/Santos fight is the biggest women’s match out there, as both have held Strikeforce world titles and have a running feud with one another.

According to White, however, his former friend/client/contracted worker/sworn enemy Tito Ortiz is to blame for Rousey vs. Cyborg not taking place at UFC 157. ”That’s the fight that should be happening,” White said during yesterday’s UFC on Fox pre-event presser in Seattle. “Tito Ortiz is her manager, and he advised against it.”

Well, of course it’s Tito’s fault. It’s been forever since White was able to complain about and blame something on Tito. All must feel right in the world once more for the Baldfather.

It seems like it’s been forever since we passed along a Danavlog to you Taters, but today’s entry was simply too amazing to pass up. Perhaps to keep in accordance with the epic lineup that is UFC on FOX 5, Dana White has apparently turned up his pre-fight hype vlogs to 11.

Part 1 is above (featuring behind-the-scenes footage from UFC 154) but the real gem is part 2, which lies after the jump. Here’s a rundown of what you’re in store for:

- Dana White catching reality show producer Craig Piligian rummaging through The Ultimate Fighter wardrobe and nearly calling the police.

- Chael Sonnen discussing a recent near-fatal run-in his mother had with Yushin ”Yes, No, Thank You” Okami.

- Jon Jones and Sonnen engaging in a discussion about verbal tapping and whether Jones did it against Vitor Belfort, because Sonnen TOTALLY did against Paulo Filho.

- Mike Tyson briefly getting into the time he almost murdered Brad Pitt.

- Anderson Silva channeling DW and dropping an f-bomb, the scamp.

Enjoy this, Potato Nation. Enjoy every last second of it.

(Highly advanced photo-simulation via CagedInsider. We’re living in the future, people.)

Despite Johny Hendricks seemingly clinching his position as the UFC’s #1 welterweight contender with his recent knockout of Martin Kampmann, Georges St. Pierre will next defend his title against a guy coming off a loss and a year-long suspension — and the champion actually wants it that way. Ariel Helwani was first to break news (via twitter) that GSP’s next opponent will be Nick Diaz, on word from Dana White himself:

Dana just said GSP told him I want Nick Diaz. Dana said that’s probably the fight we’ll make. Dana said that GSP doesn’t ask for much, so he feels like he has to do it. Silva and Hendricks will have to wait.

Diaz’s last Octagon appearance resulted in a somewhat controversial decision loss to Carlos Condit during their interim welterweight title fight in February. Afterwards, Diaz tested positive for marijuana metabolites in a post-fight drug test, and caught a year-long time-out. Diaz has been on the sidelines ever since, waiting, planning, talking mad shit. And now his big opportunity has arrived again, which he hopefully won’t blow this time. Meanwhile another contender has spent the last 12 months actually fighting people and winning — LOL, what a sucker! — beating three of the UFC’s toughest welterweight contenders in the process.

As you can imagine, Hendricks isn’t too happy with all of this…

Skip to the 1:45 mark for Dana’s appearance. Props to reader Alan K for the video.

While the rest of you were watching football today (the American version, aka the one worth watching *chugs beer, initiates U-S-A! chant*), you may have noticed a familiar face in this week’s edition of Riggle’s Picks. No, it wasn’t one of us. It was UFC President Dana White, satirizing “Exclusive Access” sports websites alongside Rob Riggle.

Riggle hits all the standard punchlines about these types: Improbable rumors, Rex Ryan is a fat mess, that these sites are only in it for the money, Richard Simmons, the webmasters live with their mothers, Jewish guilt- you know the drill by now. But Dana White steals the show with his masterful performance as a homeless drunk, who serves as an incarnation of “Guy who can’t possibly have inside information spreading outlandish rumors that only internet trolls are dumb enough to believe.”

(You should have gotten after him when you had the chance, Anderson. / Photo via Ric Fogel @ ESPN)

It appears that Georges St. Pierre wants to fight Anderson Silva about as bad as ‘The Spider’ wants to fight Jon Jones. That is to say, not at all, right now. We were told by UFC Prez Dana White that should the welterweight champ beat Carlos Condit as he did at UFC 154, he would take on the Brazilian middleweight king next, but St. Pierre revealed all of that to be a cruel tease recently while on Radio-Canada’s Tout Le Monde en Parle, or, Everyone is Talking as we’d say here in civilization. MMA Fighting had the translation.

“[The Anderson Silva] fight is the cherry on the sundae,” St. Pierre explained. “[Silva] wants to fight me so he can then retire. I would like to fight him too, but after I fight him and win the fight, what happens next? These days, yeah, there’s a lot of money to be made, but I don’t fight for the money. My motivation is to be the best. Like we said, to be the Wayne Gretzky of my sport. So if I fight him, what happens next? It will be over. So yes, I want the fight, but I want to take it when I decide the time is right, not when he wants the fight to happen.”

St. Pierre doesn’t want to move at Silva’s schedule just because he’s champion of a lighter division, even though Silva would appear to be much closer to retirement at age 37 than St. Pierre is. Speaking of weight differences, St. Pierre has appeared to have gotten some specific intel on just how much heavier Silva is than him.

More on that, as well as the complete video interview with St. Pierre wearing sunglasses and sipping wine, you know, just to emphasize the whole French thing, after the jump.

Geez, these XARM events have been getting weird…

It can be argued that no losing fighter has ever deserved one of UFC’s famous locker-room bonus checks than Fabio Maldonado after his downright terrifying loss to Glover Teixeira at UFC 153.

If this was professional wrestling, we’d say this was the fight that got Glover “over” in the UFC. The brutal asskicking that Teixeira dished out transitioned him from MMA’s best-kept secret to a legitimate light-heavyweight contender, causing fans throughout the world to say “Huh, so that’s what a 10-7 round looks like.”

Yet Fabio Maldonado kept fighting back, almost pulling off one of the most insane comebacks in UFC history as he rocked Teixeira near the end of the first round. Maldonado kept coming back for more until the cageside doctor put an end to the fight after the second round. I’m not going to write something cheesy like “it was a moral victory for Fabio Maldonado,” but I would understand why a person would.

The beating that Fabio Maldonado took wasn’t for nothing – at least not financially. Maldonado revealed on his Facebook page that he recently received one of the UFC’s famed locker-room bonus checks, and it was worth more money than his win bonus would have been. Via MMAWeekly:

(Unless you plan on “purging” that, Anderson, you may need to switch your diet up a bit to make 170 pounds)

It never really becomes crystal clear if we’re getting closer to MMA’s two best pound-for-pound fighters fighting one another or further away from it. UFC middleweight champ Anderson Silva has finally warmed to the idea of fighting welterweight king Georges St. Pierre, six years after each man won their first world titles.

Well, Silva has more than warmed to the idea. He’s practically begging for the fight.

He even hijacked St. Pierre and Carlos Condit’s special Primetime moment to lobby for the bout. The much smaller St. Pierre, however, doesn’t seem to like the idea of fighting Anderson nearly as much.

GSP has only gone so far as to wonder out loud if Silva could once again make the welterweight limit, and his head coach has said he’d only want his charge taking the bout if it was at welterweight, not at a heavier catch weight, as Silva’s camp has suggested in the past.

Alright, let’s say that GSP gets his way and Anderson gets on a Machinist diet and gets down to welterweight…unlikely but if he did we could get more than a “legacy fight.” We’d get an honest to goodness, here and now title fight.

Well, don’t you worry your pretty lil head about that exciting possibility. UFC President Dana White is here to dampen your enthusiasm.

When asked last Saturday if GSP’s belt would be on the line if “The Spider” came down in weight to fight him, White replied, “Probably not, because I don’t know how many times Anderson would actually defend it.”

Great. So if St. Pierre gets his wish he’d be fighting an emaciated Silva who wouldn’t even have the incentive of getting a hold of another title belt if he earned it with a win.

Unless Uncle Dana was just being crazy like a match-making fox. Hear me out.