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21 Humans Who Make Being Human Look Really, Really Hard

Tag: Dana White

Jon Jones Blames Old, Injured Dan Henderson for UFC 151 Fiasco


(What a nice-looking young man.)

UFC light heavyweight champion Jon Jones spends a lot of time on twitter. These days, it takes a lot of guts for him to do so.

When would be-challenger Dan Henderson pulled out of his scheduled UFC 151 engagement with the champ and Jones turned down a short-notice replacement fight with Chael Sonnen, Jones was thrown under the bus by UFC President Dana White and fighters and fans alike joined in on the hate-a-thon, bashing Jones in interviews and on twitter. Jones has been all over the map since then.

First, he sequestered himself away with no comments, then he was defensive. Eventually he was apologetic. Last night he jokingly set on blaming Henderson on Twitter for their not fighting last night as he had planned.

When a fan tweeted Saturday that thanks to Jones, “he had no plans tonight,” Jones retorted with a Hemingway reference. “Thanks to the old man and his knee I don’t either,” Jones replied.

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Cheesy WWF Promo Photos of the ’80s/’90s, And Their MMA Counterparts [GALLERY]

Our friends at With Leather just put together an incredible/awful collection of cheesy WWF promo photos from the late ’80s and early ’90s, and as we were browsing through some of these gems while drinking our coffee this morning, we couldn’t escape the eerie feeling that we’ve seen these faces elsewhere. The same snarling mugs, the same wacky personas — it’s obvious that some of our favorite MMA fighters owe a debt to these guys. So follow us back to pro wrestling‘s golden age, and allow us to make some startling comparisons.

Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart was the original…
Hillbilly Jim was the original…
Legion of Doom were the original…
Junk Yard Dog was the original…
Ultimate Warrior was the original…
The Honky Tonk Man was the original…
Tatanka was the original…
Big Boss Man was the original…
George “The Animal” Steele was the original…

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Jon Jones Publicity Nightmare of the Day: In Which Bones Asks Dana to Make Chael Stop Mocking Him


(“Okay, new plan. We change our names, cross the border into Mexico, and open a bar on a nice beach somewhere. Nobody ever has to know about what happened here. Twenty years from now, we’ll be laughing about it.”)

If you’re one of the last remaining Jon Jones supporters on Earth, it must seem that we’re just piling on at this point — like we wake up every morning searching for new ways to drag down the UFC light-heavyweight champ and steal his swag. But honestly, this stuff finds us. And as much as I’d rather spend my time on more relevant MMA coverage, I just can’t let this one go. Here’s an unbelievable detail from a new Wrestling Observer article, passed along by BloodyElbow:

Jones was very upset after Chael began calling him out and mocking him on Twitter, going as far as to contact [UFC president Dana] White and ask him to tell Chael to stop.

Let’s just state the obvious, here — this is the kind of thing a child would do. And it’s the last thing Jones needs at a moment when many MMA fans already view him as a coward for the way he wouldn’t accept a fight against Sonnen on short notice. (Once again, Chael’s ability to get inside a rival’s head is astounding, and he just picked up a boatload of new ammunition for their inevitable fight. And yes, Jones vs. Sonnen will happen someday. Dana dislikes Jones too much and loves money too much for it not to happen.)

Meanwhile on the UG, Joe Rogan made a post trying to put the recent Jon Jones hate-orgy into perspective:

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Poll: Brock Lesnar vs. Fedor Emelianenko…Would You Like to See It?


(Five minutes later, Lesnar whipped up a fabulous vulture shit salad and the two feasted for days. Photo props go to the UG.)

Here’s what you need to know: a UGer by the screenname hmb recently reached out to UFC President Dana White and asked whether or not The Baldfather thought he could sign Brock Lesnar vs. Fedor Emelianenko in the near future. Improbable, we know. But being a man of the people, DW actually responded to the anonymous question with a question of his own:

Is this the fight u guys want to see? Post a thread asking if people want to see this fight.

Although the likelihood of this pairing ever coming to fruition is beyond implausible, the response was an overwhelming “yes.” And since the popular subject on CP today seems to be fantasy matchups and whether or not we’d actually want to see them, why not partake in a little more needless speculation?

We’ve added a poll after the jump to gauge your level of excitement for this potential match. Vote if you’d like to, and feel free to argue over who would win and how in the comments section. Seriously, we love it when you argue.

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Even While Apologizing for UFC 151 Fiasco, Jon Jones Can’t Help Comparing Himself to Jesus


(“My advice would be to find a nice cave somewhere and go into hiding for three days. When you come out, they’ll worship you.”)

According to our latest homepage poll, a full 49% of you believe that Jon Jones deserves most of the blame for UFC 151′s abrupt cancellation, compared to just 27% for UFC president Dana White, the guy who actually canceled the event. Public opinion of Jones has gone from bad to irredeemably awful in the last week, and the apology he posted on twitter this weekend probably won’t help much:

Carrying the cross for my company’s decision. If someone has to take the blame, I will accept full responsibility for the way UFC 151 was canceled. I want to sincerely apologize to all the other athletes/fans who’s time and money was waisted. [sic] I feel terrible about the way that was handled.”

Okay, so we’re just assuming that Jones is comparing himself to Jesus in that first sentence; he could also be comparing himself to Kimo Leopoldo. But considering that there’s already a conception of Jones as a person whose holier-than-thou attitude doesn’t match his behavior, all Jesus-based self-references should probably be avoided for the time being. It’s the kind of thing a publicist would tell Jones, if he still had one.

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UFC Begins to Transplant Canceled UFC 151 Bouts. Spoiler Alert: None End Up On PPV.


Pictured: Their approximate reactions to finding out “garbage-ass” was a real phrase.

One week ago, Ben published an article voicing concerns over how weak UFC 151′s main card was. But it was cool, because Jon Jones vs. Dan Henderson was going to be such an awesome fight. Two days ago, Jones vs. Henderson was scrapped and UFC 151 was canceled. [Ed. note: Damn, two days? Feels like we've been covering this forever.] Even though most of us acknowledged that the cancellation of the event was at least partially due to the garbage-assness of pretty much the entire card, we were too busy talking about Jon Jones ducking Chael Sonnen/Sonnen attempting to troll his way into an immediate title shot (depending on which side of the fence you’re on) to really delve into the issue. But now that the UFC has started to transplant the canceled UFC 151 fights to other cards, it’s time to take a closer look at that issue for a moment.

The bouts from UFC 151 are quickly being rescheduled for different cards, with UFC on FX 5 taking a significant chunk of them. As we covered in yesterday’s link dump, UFC 151′s planned co-main event, Jake Ellenberger vs. Jay Hieron, will now be the co-main event of UFC On FX 5. This won’t be the only fight from UFC 151′s main card that will now be padding UFC on FX 5 – Dennis Hallman vs. Thiago Tavares, Danny Castillo vs. Michael Johnson and Shane Roller vs. Jacob Volkmann will be moved to this card as well. UFC on Fuel TV 6 will now be featuring fights between bantamweights Takeya Mizugaki and Jeff Hougland and flyweights John Lineker and Yasuhiro Urushitani, while Kyle Noke and Charlie Brenneman will do the man dance on the undercard of UFC 152.

In case you haven’t noticed, it’s worth mentioning that absolutely none of these fights – three of which were on the pay-per-view portion of UFC 151, mind you – have made it to the main card of an upcoming pay-per-view. Now I understand that financially, most fighters who were expecting a paycheck on September 1 simply can’t afford to wait until November’s UFC 154 to fight again. But that’s not the issue: The issue is that the UFC could afford to move pay-per-view quality fights *makes this hand gesture* to free television in the first place.

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Lyoto Machida Turns Down Jon Jones Fight at UFC 152, Vitor Belfort Steps in After Shogun Declines as Well [JONESANITY]


(“Vitor, my brother, you must take this fight for me. I have, how you say, too much pussy.”)

Remember how badly Lyoto Machida wanted a rematch with Jon Jones? Well, he didn’t want it badly enough to fight Jones on a month’s notice. In the latest chapter of the UFC’s most bizarre storyline of 2012, it was revealed late last night by MMAFighting that Machida decided he needed more time to prepare for another title fight against the light-heavyweight champ, and has turned down the opportunity. Machida had briefly been scheduled to face Jones at UFC 152 on September 22nd. (Yes, we’re calling it UFC 152 again. “UFC 151 will be remembered as the event Jon Jones and Greg Jackson murdered,” according to UFC president Dana White.)

The UFC’s next choice for Jones’s opponent was, logically, Mauricio “Shogun” Rua, who also “won impressively” at UFC on FOX 4. But as Lance Pugmire of the LA Times tweeted, Shogun also turned down the fight. Unbelievable. And so, Dana’s hate list grows larger by the day.

But look, on the horizon…a savior. For some reason, middleweight contender Vitor Belfort was offered the chance to fight Jones at UFC 152, which he happily accepted. Said Belfort: “Where a lot of guys are acting like divas I think this is a big challenge for any fighter. I have all the respect for Jones. That’s why you can’t miss this competition. I will not let no one down. I come from the times of Carlson Gracie. He lives inside of me.” Belfort was originally slated to fight Alan Belcher at UFC 153 in Rio.

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UFC 151 Aftermath (?): Jones Opens As -475 Favorite Over Machida While His Peers Tear Him a New One


(Suddenly, the decision to sponsor this guy seems like not so great of an idea.) 

Boy oh boy, have the events of this afternoon trapped everyone in a glass case of emotion or what? We’re going to forgo the typical “aftermath” aspect of this…aftermath, because suffice it to say, you are already aware of what has gone down. Looking ahead, it appears Jon Jones will be facing Lyoto Machida (again) at UFC 152 in Toronto (again). It also appears that all of the claims that “Lyoto TOTALLY won a round against Bones, you guys” — as if he, you know, didn’t get sliced open and choked unconscious shortly thereafter — have had some effect on the bookies. At least for now.

BestFightOdds currently has Jones listed between -475 and -485 for his rematch with “The Dragon,” which is actually not as bad (for Machida, at least) as the -600 Jones was listed at when these two first squared off. Who knows how far that number will sway in the next few weeks, but we’re guessing it will only increase in Jones’ favor as time passes.

But that’s not the story here. The real story is that, due to the cancellation of UFC 151, a lot of fighters are getting royally screwed. Sure, the UFC could reimburse them with their show money (as if they’re not losing a shitload of it already), but these fighters rely on sponsorship money to truly put them in the green. That money has seemingly dissapeared, and man are they pissed about it. After all, when you only fight a few times a year (at best) for next-to-nothing, missing a fight can have serious financial consequences. And the poor saps who will now be missing another paycheck are letting Jones have it on Twitter.

The best responses are after the jump. 

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Turns Out, Cris Cyborg Was Figuratively Dicknailed by CSAC Prior to the Rousey/Kaufman Fight


(WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE’S NO FOAMING OF THE MOUTH ALLOWED IN THIS ARENA?!)

You might recall that in the immediate aftermath of Ronda Rousey’s win over Sarah Kaufman last weekend, “Rowdy” called out former women’s featherweight champion Cris Cyborg. Unlike past Strikeforce events, Cyborg was not allowed to enter the ring and cause a full-fledged riot for our entertainment, and in fact was actually removed from her seat in the audience before the fight even started.

Why, you ask? Well, it turns out that the California State Athletic Commission has a rule declaring that any fighter under a current suspension is not allowed inside to be at a professional mixed martial arts event. Cyborg shared your current confusion while she was being removed form the audience, telling Tatame in a recent interview:

I watched all fights but on the last one, Ronda’s, a woman working on the event came to tell me I had to leave because the commission doesn’t accept suspended athletes on the shows. My manager talked to the guys at the commission and there’s really a law that says that.

I was upset for the way they treated me. They could’ve pulled me on a corner and told me, not in front of the fans. I was taking pictures and they interrupted me, saying I had to go. It was very disrespectful. I believe a champion deserves to be treated with respect. Everyone knows an athlete’s life isn’t easy, so all fighters deserve respect. When I was in Brazil I watched UFC and there was no problem.

An odd rule indeed, made all the more unusual by the fact that the commission decided to wait until the main event to inform Cyborg that she wasn’t supposed to be there in the first place, which is the equivalent of letting a homeless man wander into your dinner party uninvited and waiting until the nightcap to kick him out.

More news on the Cyborg/Rousey match is after the jump.

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Don’t Worry, You Guys, Chael Sonnen is At Least Two Wins Away From a Title Shot at 205


(Realizing his impending doom, Chael signaled to his wife that her weekly sandwich quota would be doubling in the near future.) 

When it was originally announced that Chael Sonnen would be returning to the light heavyweight division to face Forrest Griffin at UFC 155, we took it as a classic case of a fighter changing weight classes in order to save his career. He had come up short in both his title shots at middleweight, and as Josh Koscheck would tell you if he was aware of it, the chances of any 0-2 fighter receiving a third shot against the same champion is next to impossible. And being that Chael fraking Sonnen is not a man who fights anything but marquee fights these days, his chances to make waves at 205 were clearly better than his chances at 185. The fact that he could barely even make the announcement without drawing Jon Jones into a Twitter war only confirms Sonnen’s devious intentions.

And as is usually the case, Chael was successful in drawing us out of the woodwork to throw his name in with the phrase “title shot,” whether it was in agreement or bitter disapproval of the idea. Because Sonnen is like the entire cast of a heist movie packed into one person when it comes to hustling in the MMA game, capable of releasing more red herrings, smoke signals, and false MacGuffins than Ocean’s Eleven through Thirteen combined. Hell, I immediately launched into a vast conspiracy theory in which Sonnen became the number one contender and Jones possibly faked injury in order to set up a fight between them down the line.

But I live in a world of paranoia, delusion, and fear. One that apparently many of you are living in as well, because in a recent appearance on Las Vegas’ “Dave and Mahoney” show, Dana White addressed the concerns that a lot of us are sharing, another undeserved title shot for Sonnen.

Dana’s remarks are after the jump. 

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