(You call it: happy or sad?)

According to a new article translated into English for us by Robert from betwwx.com, Judo olympic gold medalist Satoshi Ishii says he is definitely getting into MMA, and he wants to fight Mirko “Cro Cop” Filipovic and…Hong Man Choi?

Japan’s Olympic gold medallist Satoshi Ishii has quit judo to enter mixed martials arts. His ultimate goal is to fight the likes of Mirko Cro Cop and Hong Man Choi also known as the “Techno Goliath”.

The Reuters articles mistakenly nicknames Mirko Filipovic as the ‘Terminator’, although the Croatian fighter has not fought under that name but is widely known among fans as ‘Cro Cop’.

‘This is a new chapter in my life and I’ll have to now start from scratch or with a white belt. Mixed Martials Arts has the words best fighters and I wanted to face many of them even before I won my Judo gold medal . I want to get myself in good shape and want to face the best as soon as possible. There’s no need to hide. That’s is my goal.” Said the 21 year old Ishii.

Let’s say you’re Cro Cop and you hear this. Are you psyched for a potential big money fight with Japan’s most recent judo hero? Or are you blinded with rage at being mentioned alongside Hong Man Choi, as if the two of you are interchangeable? I have to think it’s the second one, but Cro Cop has baffled me before.

(For the record, this is what Lyoto and Houston were staring at.)

So, anybody got any good costumes this year? If you do, let us know in the comments section, and if you live in Vegas, definitely swing by Dana White’s house:

“We give out real candy bars, not the little ones from the bag,” he said.

Good to know. We also wanted to pass along this photo of Roli Delgado’s “Ronald McDojo” costume; the TUF 8 castoff seems to have a good sense of humor about his much-speculated BJJ pedigree…

(Props: Fightlinker)

After the jump is the greatest non-MMA-related costume that I’ve seen so far this week. Mad props to WallStreetFighter for the find.

(Props: MMA Scraps)

Joe Rogan and Dana White mark out hard about Brock Lesnar’s athleticism and Randy Couture’s unquantifiable champion essence in this in-depth look at UFC 91′s marquee matchup. One of the talking points is that Lesnar’s strength and wrestling ability will negate Couture’s natural advantages — though that could easily work the other way. As of now, Couture is a very slight betting underdog against Lesnar. Betting against him, historically speaking, is not a great idea.

Below: Tracy Morgan actually name-checked Kimbo Slice on Late Night With Conan O’Brien last night. Conan had no idea who he was referring to, and Morgan explained that they’re actually related. Who knew? After the jump: “The Passion.”

(Props: BloodyElbow)

(‘Oh, the bruises? It’s not her fault. I just make her so mad sometimes. She’s really very sweet. You don’t know the things she says to me when we’re alone’.)

You think the death of Pro Elite was a great day for MMA, Dana White? There are those who would disagree with you. For example, the newly unemployed Scott Smith who puts a very, very sad human face on the whole thing:

“I’ve been in camp for over eight weeks and I’ve been pushing myself hard. It’s one thing if [it happens] two months out from a fight, but two weeks? It’s devastating. Even if I lost, worst case scenario, (including sponsorship money) I would still be out close to $40,000. Until all the paperwork and everything is done I’m not going to be cleared to fight somewhere else before the end of the year. It’s close to the holidays, I got a mortgage to pay, I’ve got two kids, it’s tough.”

Damn, Scott. Now I just feel terrible. There may have been a lot of small failures and a few colossal ones behind EliteXC’s demise, but you sure as hell can’t put any of it on Smith, whose clashes with Robbie Lawler were among the most memorable (for the right reasons) bouts in EliteXC’s brief history.

So if it ain’t Scott Smith’s fault, dammit, whose fault is it? Former Pro Elite VP of Home Entertainment Turi Altavilla doesn’t explicitly say it was Jared Shaw’s fuck-ups that did them in, but he certainly doesn’t absolve $kala from responsibility either. Apparently after Jared’s father, Gary Shaw, left the company under the condition that his son would stay on, things took a turn for the stupid:

CagePotato reader Brian W. just turned us on to the hard-hitting investigative journalism of Chicago-based sports website Mouthpiece Sports, which works in some solid MMA coverage between the Bears/Bulls/Cubs/Sox/B’hawks stories. Here’s a sampling of their work; Diego Sanchez, Miguel Torres, and Dana White talk fighter groupies in the video above, Tyler Bryan discusses his web-legendary double-knockout with Shaun Parker in the video below, and we get a look at some of the knuckleheads we might be seeing on TUF 9 after the jump. “Plubicity” FTW.

(It’s like he saw that Condom Depot ad and became enraged. I’ve never seen a man who hates birth control with such a ferocious passion.)

You bastards have done it now. You fans and media with your hate mail and hate articles, accusing Anderson Silva of conduct unbecoming a champion. Now he’s pissed. And Silva is not like your sister. He doesn’t turn to ice cream when he’s upset. He turns to awesomely destructive violence, and he would prefer to do it as soon as possible according to UFC president Dana White, who had this to say to the Las Vegas Review-Journal regarding the champ:

“He’s flipping out. He wants to fight again, like, on Nov. 15,” White said. “He’s (upset) about his performance and he wants to fight again immediately.”

Now that’s the attitude you want from your champ. Of course, it’s completely unreasonable to think the UFC could get him a worthy opponent in time for UFC 91, so don’t get too excited. But this might be the perfect time for creative matchmaking on the UFC’s part. Maybe they can’t get a top-level challenger, but could they get three mid-level guys? Middleweights, light heavyweights, anyone who needs a paycheck, really. How about if Silva faces Ed Herman, Houston Alexander, and an unemployed ninja all at once?

No, that’s still not fair. Okay, the ninja can use his throwing stars and Houston can use illegal knee strikes. Ed Herman, he has to show up drunk. Check that, he gets to show up drunk. This is one night he’s not going to want to remember.

(Clearly.)

Add Nick Diaz to the list of EliteXC refugees who Dana White may be looking to pick up. During an appearance on TapouT Radio Live, the UFC prez was complementary of Stockton’s favorite son, though he made it known that he doesn’t approve of Diaz’s confrontational antics:

“I think Nick Diaz is a bad ass. Nick Diaz is a tough kid. Nick Diaz doesn’t handle himself right all the time in public. I like him — I respect him as a fighter. I love his attitude. I love the way that kid fights. But you can’t do the stuff that this kid does in public. You can’t get into fights when the fight is over … you can’t do that stuff.”

Of course, we immediately think of Diaz’s in-cage taunts of KJ Noons and his father at EliteXC: The Return of the King in June — and the obscene gestures he makes at the crowd after his fights, which is something of a Diaz family tradition. But Dana White is likely also referring to a bizarre incident that took place after Diaz’s UFC 57 fight against Joe Riggs in February 2006. As Wikipedia retells it:

Dana White‘s not such a bad guy. Despite heaping scorn upon the legend of Kimbo Slice at every opportunity, he’s still willing to give him a job. Or at least he’s willing to give him the chance to prove himself worthy of a job, though he sounds less than optimistic about the bearded one’s chances:

“He can be on The Ultimate Fighter. What’s he done other than get 10 million hits on YouTube, what’s he done to deserve to be in the UFC? Nothing. I don’t consider him a real athlete. He won’t win The Ultimate Fighter. The offer’s out there if he wants to take it, but he won’t win it.”

Nothing like an offer that contains within it a prediction that you will fail should you accept said offer. That’s a great negotiating point to start from.

Slice’s manager, Icey Mike, doesn’t seem eager to take White up on that offer:

Dana White’s UFC 90 video blog 10/25/08 – Watch more free videos
(The final UFC 90 video blog installment, just to wrap it all up.)

Who’s up? Who’s down? Who’s baffling us all with his performance? Who got drunk after the fight and let his entourage talk him into thinking that he did really well? Don’t worry, we stayed up all weekend crunching the non-existent numbers, and here’s what we came up with.

Anderson Silva: -3

Okay, so “The Spider” did not improve his public image on Saturday night, but at the same time he didn’t look at all vulnerable. When the most prevalent criticism suggests he was toying with his opponent, which implies he could have put him away at will, what does that even mean for the champ’s status? The Index is befuddled, but it still believes Silva is the world’s best fighter, even on an off night.

Patrick Cote: +5.6

The only thing Cote proved was something we already suspected: he has a solid chin. This alone might have bumped him up higher if only he hadn’t been caught on film during a post-fight delusion of grandeur. You did not fuck anyone up. If your friends really cared about you, they would tell you that.

Junior Dos Santos: +378

The night’s biggest underdog scores the night’s only knockout, and a brutal one at that. Out of nowhere and into the heavyweight spotlight. We’ll need to see him again before we can be sure it wasn’t just a lucky punch, but preliminary indications suggest this guy might have a real future in the UFC.

Wow…the delusions you suffer when Anderson Silva allows you to reach round three. As you can see in this video from MMACanada, Patrick Cote has a rather inflated sense of his own toughness following Saturday night’s debacle. After explaining that his knee was actually toast by the end of the second round, the Predator launches into the money quote:

“I proved to everybody that this guy’s not unbeatable. I think I fucked him up really bad ['you fucked him up' and 'oh, big time' his friends shout, possibly sarcastically]. My gameplan was good and I think he was scared to exchange with me. I received all his best punch and all his best knee and I was still there.”

Well, that’s a matter of opinion. It’s still unclear what was going through Silva’s head during those first two rounds, but I wouldn’t assume that he was scared of Cote (who never gave Silva reason to be), and the small handful of bored strikes he threw certainly did not represent “his best punch and his best knee.” Far from it. What we saw at UFC 90 was Anderson Silva at his most ineffective. Though hey, maybe he was going to make something happen in the championship rounds. Cote would also like you to know that he didn’t fake the knee injury, and he thought it was a little bit rude when Silva offered his hand to help him during the fight. Okay? Now let’s all forget that this ever happened.

Dana White, it should be noted, was understandably disappointed with Silva’s performance, and didn’t think it had anything to do with fear of Cote.

Dana White’s UFC 90 video blog 10/23/08 – Watch more free videos

Today on Dana White‘s UFC 90 Video Blog (though it was actually recorded yesterday) White talks with Steve Cofield about the video blog in a conversation that’s captured on the video blog. Is your mind freaked yet? No? How about if we post another picture with Criss Angel in the background? You guys seemed to love that.

The talk with Cofield is actually one of the highlights of this entry. They discuss EliteXC and Jared Shaw, who (surprise!) isn’t really happy about anything these days. This comes after White discusses the situation with the press, who push him a little for being so jubilant about EliteXC folding and leaving plenty of fighters and staff unemployed. As you might expect, White pushes back with swift retorts like “Too fucking bad. Go get another job.” Fortunately Kevin Iole is there to help him clarify this stance.

Those of you who were hoping that the dissolution of EliteXC and the sudden availability of Gina Carano would make White rethink adding a women’s division to the UFC, sorry. He says EliteXC’s fighters will get picked up, but when asked about interest in the women he replies, “not me.” Didn’t even need to think about it.

(‘Come on, Brock. What did we talk about? A little foundation is fine, but you go piling it on like this and it just makes you look desperate.’)

If you don’t like seeing Brock Lesnar in the UFC, and if you didn’t enjoy his appearance on E:60, you’re really not going to like this.

Maybe you hoped Dana White would give up on the former WWE star if he fails to beat Randy Couture. Maybe you just hoped he and his enormous traps would get stuck in a doorway somewhere in a remote part of Minnesota and he’d never be heard from again. Unfortunately for you, the second scenario is starting to sound more plausible than the first. Judging by Dana White’s remarks to The Sun, he seems to be absolutely smitten with Lesnar:

“It’s such an interesting fight because Couture is so good at coming up with plans for finding weaknesses in guys’ games and exposing them. But Lesnar’s such a different animal, this guy is so big, so strong and so fast at that weight it’s just phenomenal.

“For what he lacks in technique and knowledge, he makes up for in size, speed and power. Lesnar could go on to be the best heavyweight and the longest-reigning heavyweight – who knows what could happen with him.”

Who knows, indeed. He could go down in history as the greatest MMA fighter who ever lived. He could beat every heavyweight in the world, then travel into space to defeat intergalactic heavyweights. Instead of dying like a mortal man he could ascend to heaven on a winged white steed while angels sing a glorious song that churns the seas into a golden froth. Man, I have got to stop doing peyote in the afternoon.

The point is, it seems a little premature to get so worked up about a guy who’s 2-1 and has a bad habit of quitting stuff to go do other stuff, right? And then you hear this little afterthought thrown in there:

Dana White’s UFC 90 Video Blog 10/22/08 – Watch more free videos

In this edition of Dana White‘s UFC 90 video blog we get a look at the pre-fight preparations for both the staff and the fighters. So what’s the difference? Two words: body triangles. Sorting out ticket arrangements may be a hassle, but it’s nothing compared to having Anderson Silva attached to your back. We also see Dana White struggle through the taping of a PSA in a shirt he just bought at the hotel gift shop.

See, it’s not an entirely glamorous life of bro-ing down with fighters and having breakfast with Mandy Moore. Sometimes you have to wear a hotel gift shop shirt. And yeah, sometimes that shirt is itchy. You just have to battle through it.

(‘Hey, just because the company has gone under that doesn’t mean we can’t still hang out, right big guy?’ Photo courtesy of Esther Lin.)

If you’re wondering why we haven’t heard from Jared Shaw (aka: “little rapper kid”) since the collapse of Pro Elite, there’s a good reason. $kala has not been heard from because $kala does not want to be heard from. He has retreated from the media spotlight, as our friends at MMA Rated learned when they attempted to get him on the phone and instead got this outgoing voicemail message:

“This is the voicemail of Jared ‘Skala’ Shaw. Leave me a message and I will return it at my earliest opportunity. If this is a member of the media, I will not be returning your call. I’m sorry. Namaste.”

Seriously, Jared? Namaste? Does that mean you won’t return calls because you have a yoga class to get to?

Not that I blame $kala for not wanting to talk to the media right now, but it is something of a chickenshit move. Maybe it’s because he knows he doesn’t have any good answers to give. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t want to hear the inevitable questions about what role his cageside freakout might have played in the whole ordeal, and whether Pro Elite was truly forced to keep him on in order to get his father out. Who knows.

What we do know is that not returning calls isn’t going to keep people from talking about you, so wouldn’t you at least like a chance to give your perspective? Who would have thought that this is how Jared Shaw would go out. Freaking Namaste.

Dana White’s Video Blog 10/21/08 – Watch more free videos

Some people say it’s as important to be a gracious winner as it is to be a gracious loser. Those people are fucking pussies. Dana White knows what’s best in life: crushing your enemies, seeing them bankrupted before you, and hearing the lamentations of Jared Shaw. That’s why he has zero problem with not only tap-dancing, but also urinating on the grave of EliteXC in this video.

Seriously, no one can hate like Dana White hates. His enthusiasm for the misfortune of others is truly unrivaled. He doesn’t even mention UFC 90 until almost four minutes into this video, that’s how much fun he’s having kicking Pro Elite while it’s down and rehashing other old grievances that are mostly meaningless to everyone else. What a joyous day.

Unrelated but important: Old, Bald and Irish’s Epic Fail Contest ended with OB&I getting eye-poked and choked out and Polish winning a “Hall of Fame” t-shirt. Polish, e-mail your address and size to feedback@cagepotato.com. The rest of you can read more about this craziness in the CagePotato forums.

As we see in the latest installment of his video blog, Dana White was still in England yesterday, presiding over the London tryouts of The Ultimate Fighter: U.S. vs. U.K. 175 limey scrappers showed up (or “over 200,” depending on when you ask Dana), up from about 30 the last time they held open auditions there. This is actually the first TUF tryout footage I’ve ever seen, and it was an interesting behind-the-scenes look — particularly for Dana’s speech before the grappling portion, in which he told the guys that there’s no shame in tapping, but “no heel-hooks, no slams, no crazy shit.” It’s a safe, nurturing environment, in other words. Also, Michael Bisping stops by to show Dana his grody ear.

Related: MMA Weekly reports that the weight-classes featured on TUF 9 will actually be lightweights (again) and welterweights, not middleweights and welterweights as previously announced; no reason for the change has been given yet.

(Luis Cane’s pimp-slap, straight left combo. No one ever expects it. Props, UG.)

- Apparently the hip new trend for youngsters on the internet is to film themselves making UFC predictions and then throw it up on YouTube. Fightlinker spotted the very enthusiastic WishKid12 doing her thing, and decided to see how her picks matched up against those made by professionals like us. We’re proud to report that both Bens (weirdly, we made the exact same picks) soundly defeated this precocious prognosticator. While she went 2-3 on the night, we went 4-1 (curse you Cane, and your bitch-slapping awesomeness). The only one in this impromptu contest to beat us was Fightlinker, with a perfect 5-0. So basically we’re smarter than a twelve-year-old girl but dumber than drunk Canadians. That’s still better than either of our families ever expected.

- Patrick Cote tells MMA Mania that the UFC did not have him sign a contract extension prior to his title fight against Anderson Silva at UFC 90 this Saturday night. That’s notable since he’s at or near the end of his current contract, and typically the UFC makes sure they have a guy locked up before they take a chance on him becoming a belt-holder. At least, that’s what they do when they think the challenger has a chance in hell of winning.

- In case you were wondering, Dana White says he will reward Josh Koscheck with a shot at the welterweight title if he beats Thiago Alves this weekend. We all know how much White loves guys who are willing to step in on short notice, and Koscheck has a chance to turn Diego Sanchez’s misfortune into a big break for himself. Not that anyone’s really clamoring for GSP-Koscheck II at this point.

- MMA Payout takes issue with the UFC’s insinuation that Brandon Vera voluntarily sat out a year and then returned a different fighter. They point out that Vera was an early victim of the “Zuffa Freeze Out” and that by running around comparing the old Vera to the new one, Dana White may be unwittingly calling the wrong kind of attention to his own negotiation practices. Damn revisionist history.

(Mo’ money, mo’ unfulfilled expectations.)

You can’t say Dana White didn’t warn Brandon Vera. His comments before UFC 89 suggested that it was time for “The Truth” to justify his high price tag. He didn’t, and so White is turning up the heat on him with remarks like these:

“I’m not seeing what I expected from Brandon Vera. It’s like he’s lost something. He doesn’t have that killer instinct since he took that year off. He doesn’t go after people. He used to be so cocky. He wanted to fight everybody.

“We tried to get him on one of the seasons of The Ultimate Fighter and he turned that down and said he wanted to fight Chuck Liddell and that he would knock him out. I hear that seven days a week so I told him to go on TUF and we’d find out how good he was.

“He was good. He used to walk through heavyweights earlier in his career. But he took a year off and we had all the issues with his contract and he hasn’t been the same since. I don’t know what’s wrong with him.”

It’s not exactly shocking to hear Dana White go after a guy who held him over the coals in contract negotiations and has since failed to live up to expectations. In a way, it seems justified. The UFC agreed to his six-figure demands based on his past performances and what they saw as his future potential. Lately he’s looked like a bad investment.

But being badmouthed in public by your boss, both before and after the fight, that’s got to sting. Especially when he goes on to compare you unfavorably to other guys who lost on the same night:

(Oh. No. She. Didn’t.)

- Matt Lindland’s MMA career now fodder for political smear campaign. (MMA Payout)

- Dana White says Anderson Silva could fight GSP, but never B.J. Penn. (The Sun)

- Little Nog is headed to Japan again, this time for Sengoku. (Fight Ticker)

- Chris Horodecki considering a fight in Japan while he waits for Affliction II. (MMA Weekly)

- Tim Sylvia headed to Dream or Sengoku? Really? (Nightmare of Battle)

- Fedor could fight Arlovski next, or Barnett. Who knows!? (MMA Fanhouse)

- Chuck Liddell turned away from big shot nightclub, and he’s not pleased. (TMZ)

- Robert Drysdale talks MMA debut. (Tatame)

- A movie trailer that is better than most actual movies. (Holy Taco)

- Life after Lehman Brothers. (Wall Street Fighter)

- Seven most underrated hot chicks on TV. (Screen Junkies)

- Brtual broken bottle beatdown. (Nothing Toxic)

With one day to go before UFC 89 (which we’ll be liveblogging, naturally), it’s time for everyone’s favorite self-indulgent exercise: Ben versus Ben. This time around we argue bonuses, the UK-centric undercard, and the mysterious/as-of-yet fictional Millerplata, among other stuff.

How exactly will Bisping/Leben end?

Fowlkes: As much as we’ve heard about Leben’s transformation from immature brawler to well-rounded tactician, a part of me (the part located in the brain region) isn’t totally buying it. Leben may be a more seasoned fighter, but he still knows one way to win a fight when things get hectic and it’s throwing big, looping bombs and hoping one catches his opponent on the chin.

This has worked at times. He hits hard and he can take enough punishment to make that strategy effective. But as strategies go, it’s relatively easy to prepare for, especially for a more cerebral fighter like Bisping. “The Count” is smart enough to avoid a street fight with Leben. He’ll accumulate points and damage but won’t dive in for the illusion of a quick finish, and this will frustrate Leben.

Leben knows he doesn’t want to go to a decision against a Brit in Britain, so the closer to the final horn he gets the more desperate he will become. This is where Bisping will find an opening, drop him with a straight shot, then pour on some ground-and-pound that looks worse than it is, causing the referee to stop it at 4:02 of round three. And Leben is going to be pissed.

Goldstein: I concur. Bisping is a more talented, complete fighter than Leben, and this business about the Crippler maturing is more manufactured narrative than reality. But I don’t think it’ll take Bisping until the third frame to get the stoppage win. As a middleweight, his kickboxing has looked razor-sharp — his last two opponents didn’t make it to the second bell — and his ground capabilities are underrated in general.

The headliners will give the crowd what they paid for in round one, slugging it out like a couple of drunken soccer hooligans, and Bisping will go about finishing the fight in round two, engaging the killer instinct that we’ve seen from him lately. If Leben starts to land more shots in that second round, I wouldn’t be surprised to see Bisping clinch with Leben, bully him to the ground and finish him from the top. Either way, it’ll be a stoppage due to strikes at exactly the 4:15 mark of round two.

Who will win the Vera/Jardine and Sokoudjou/Cane fights?

(Keep dreaming. Photo courtesy of brandonverablog.com.)

Cripes, quote of the day from MMA Weekly via Mike C. at MMA Eruption

“Of course fighters are gonna always want more money. You’re an employee of a company, you’re always gonna want more money, you’re always gonna be asking for a raise. So hopefully after Saturday I’m in a position where I can ask for a raise, so let’s see what happens.” — Brandon Vera

If I was Keith Jardine, I’d be fucking furious right now. Brandon Vera’s current contract — which began with his UFC 77 loss to Tim Sylvia — gives him a $100,000 base salary with a $100,000 win bonus, making him one of the highest paid fighters in the UFC. And what has Vera’s employer (and the fans) gotten in return? Well, there was that sad decision loss to Timmy, then the sadder first-round TKO loss to Fabricio Werdum at UFC 85, then his light-heavyweight debut fight against Reese Andy in July, where The Truth couldn’t even finish the UFC newcomer. Brandon’s total take: $400,000.

Meanwhile, Jardine remains one of the most underpaid fighters in the sport. His loss to Wanderlei Silva was the first fight on a new contract that pays him $10,000 to show; before that, he was getting only $7,000. In other words, if Jardine wins on Saturday, he’ll still make five times less than Vera — and Vera still wants more money.

As we learned yesterday, Dana White doesn’t care much for this new, cautious, wealthy Brandon Vera. A raise has to be out of the question at this point, regardless of the UFC’s plans for Filipino expansion. Is it too late to tell people that Kenny Florian is actually a proud Pinoy?

(‘Yeah, real cute. Now please knock someone out.’)

When it comes to fighters facing win-or-get-fired matches, no one loves to speculate as to who might be on the hot seat more than we do. But rarely does Dana White make it this easy. Speaking with the Canadian Press, White called into question Brandon Vera‘s motivation as a fighter and said in no uncertain terms that he needs to see the old “Truth” back in the Octagon:

“As soon as he had a few wins and all the money got involved and his new contract and his ex-manager and all that bullshit, he’s changed,” White lamented. “He’s not the same fighter he was. He needs to put all that shit behind him and he’s needs to come back and be the cocky, crazy Brandon Vera that I met a few years ago. That kid needs to come back.

“It seems that now the money’s involved, he doesn’t take chances like he used to, he doesn’t let his hands go like he used to. He’s got to come back and be the old Brandon Vera.”

That’s not what you want to hear from your boss a couple days before a big fight against someone as tough as Keith Jardine. So would White really consider cutting Vera is he loses at UFC 89? Naw, son. With the UFC looking to expand into the Phillipines, Vera’s too valuable right now. Plus he’s earned a little leeway. He’ll get at least a couple more chances to fuck up, but the message ought to be very clear nonetheless.

White wants the explosive, shit-talking Vera. The cautious, grind-out-a-boring-decision Vera? They’re all stocked up in the light heavyweight division. After all, they’ve already got one Lyoto Machida.

Inside MMA welcomes “Sugar” Rashad Evans, Bobby Lashley, and Dave Meltzer. Here’s a quick taste in this preview video. Right off we’re talking about “evisceration,” which is a fun start, and Bas Rutten asks Kenny Rice, “Did you see that movie Braveheart?” This prompted me to ask, is there anyone on earth who hasn’t seen it by now? It’s more ubiquitous on TV than Remember the Titans.

Below we’ve got Brandon Vera basking in the glory of his fame in the Phillipines. Looks like Dana White wasn’t joking when he said that the UFC was even more mainstream there than they are in the U.S. Props to MMA Payout.

After the jump, Nevada State Athletic Commissioner Keith Kizer gives his thoughts of the EliteXC controversy.

(‘You guys want something to drink? A dozen shots of tequila, maybe? It’s how I test people’s ethical fiber. Just a thing I do.’)

UFC president Dana White appeared on the Carmichael Dave sports talk radio show to talk about the UFC’s global expansion, this season of The Ultimate Fighter, and of course do a little EliteXC/Kimbo Slice bashing. You know, a normal day. He also found himself defending the decision not to kick Junie Browning off the show, and followed it up with a justification for the plentiful alcohol in the TUF mansion:

A lot of people are horrified that I didn’t kick Junie off the show. …I’ll tell you exactly how this thing works. I never know what’s going on at the house unless something bad happens. I see what happened at the house when you guys see. The way it works is something bad happens, they call me, and they say, ‘Something bad happened. We need you.’ I go to the gym, they have a tape queued up and ready for me, I watch what happened. Then I drive over to the house and I deal with it.

So this happened, I drive over to the house…I get out of my car, I walk in, and [TUF producer] Andrea [Richter] is like, ‘Okay, we got it all set up, we got his flight home,’ and I’m like, ‘Andrea, I don’t know if I’m going to kick him off.’ She was like, ‘What!?’ I mean, everybody was ready. Everybody knew I was kicking him off.

I said, ‘I don’t know what’s up with me. But I’m going to walk in there and I’m going to wing it. I’m going to see how this kid acts and then I’ll make a decision. …I thought he was going to be a punk. But he wasn’t. …You’ll see what happens later in the season.

Naturally, White also claims that this is the best season they’ve ever done, repeating the claim, “we came off with a kid at 155 pounds who could be the next Anderson Silva.”

Asked whether that might be Junie, since he seems to be the most talented guy in the house, White responded, “But he’s not. He’s not the most talented guy. See, that’s the thing, everybody thought I was talking about Junie.”

Then White went on the offensive against those who criticize the UFC’s policy of providing copious amounts of free alcohol to pro athletes locked up in a house with no distractions.

(At first he claimed to have other plans that night, but no one was buying that.)

The fates of Diego Sanchez and Josh Koscheck are indeed intertwined in mysterious ways. The UFC sent out a release today announcing that Diego Sanchez has been forced to withdraw from his UFC 90 bout with Thiago Alves due to torn rib cartilage. Stepping in to face Alves on short notice will be Sanchez’s TUF 1 buddy, Josh Koscheck.

From the official release:

“There is nothing worse than having a great fight and then having one of the fighters drop out at the last second,” said UFC President Dana White. “But the one thing the UFC has proven time and time again is our ability to replace fights with ones as good as or better than the original fight, and we’ve done it again with the highly-ranked Josh Koscheck stepping up to replace Diego Sanchez against welterweight wrecking machine Thiago Alves. Hats off to Josh and Thiago, as not many fighters would agree to a matchup this tough on such short notice.”

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“Josh Koscheck is a great fighter and I think he’s an even better matchup for me,” said Alves. “I’m looking forward to fighting him, and I’m gonna knock him out.”

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“I think he’s a tough opponent,” said Koscheck. “He’s on a tear right now in the UFC and for me to step up and fight him, I think it’s gonna be an exciting fight. I’ve been in training since Chris Lytle, I haven’t taken any time off, and he’s a tough guy, so I’ve got to come in and fight him at my ‘A’ game.”

Alves is a tough opponent to step in against on short notice, but how could Koscheck resist such a golden opportunity to grind salt in Sanchez’s torn rib cartilage? The only thing worse than having to pull out of a big fight is having a rival swoop in and take it.

As late replacements go, Koscheck probably makes the most possible sense. Instead of throwing Alves against someone far lower on the welterweight totem pole, he gets someone at right about the same level. This bout, in terms of both quality of competition and future ramifications on the division, has simply made a lateral move. How many times have we been able to say that?

Dana White calls for EliteXC investigation – Watch more free videos

Dana White is downright pissed off. He’s so mad at EliteXC in this video, one camera angle is insufficient for capturing his rage. He lays into EliteXC for the Seth Petruzelli “knockout bonus” scandal and suggests that Jeremy Lappen and the Shaws should look into the kickboxing business if they want to keep fights off the ground so badly. I couldn’t agree more.

For his part, EliteXC Head of Operations Jeremy Lappen changes his story yet again in a talk with AOL Fanhouse. First, Lappen told Si.com that Petruzelli was offered a knockout bonus, but the company doesn’t offer submission bonuses. Then he told ESPN.com that Petruzelli was offered a KO bonus, a submission bonus, and a fight of the night bonus. Now he says both stories misquoted him:

“They’re both wrong,” Lappen said. “We have given submission bonuses in the past but they’re not as common as knockout bonuses. If the question is, ‘Have we ever given submission bonuses?’ The answer is yes. But we give knockout bonuses more often. We gave Seth a knockout bonus before the fight started. That was part of the deal.”

Hold up, you gave him a knockout bonus before the fight started? As in, before he had knocked anyone out? Goddammit Lappen, I sure as hell hope you were “misquoted” yet again. At the very least I hope it’s just poor phrasing on your part and what you meant to say was you told of him of a potential knockout bonus before the fight. But either way, it’s still bullshit. You offered him an incentive to win a fight in a very specific manner, not an incentive to simply finish the fight.

Not to mention, this is the third time you’ve changed your story. Nobody gets misquoted this often. Not unless they keep changing their story so often that they can’t keep all the versions straight in their own mind.

(If Tank was allowed to use his fearsome jiu-jitsu, it would have been a totally different story. Photo courtesy of MMAWeekly.)

When it was first announced that the Florida State Boxing Commission would not be investigating EliteXC’s alleged fight-fixing attempt, it seemed like the scandal would quietly be swept under the rug. But the public/media outcry has become too loud to ignore, and ESPN.com is reporting that the Florida Department of Business and Professional Regulation — which oversees the FSBC — will open a preliminary investigation into the legality of Seth Petruzelli’s “knockout bonus”:

“While the Department of Business and Professional Regulation doesn’t have any reason to believe there was a problem with the Slice-Petruzelli fight, given the interest in it, the Department has begun a preliminary investigation to thoroughly review the circumstances of the fight,” said Jennifer Meale, Communications Director for the DBPR.

Responding to this new development, EliteXC Head of Operations Jeremy Lappen continued to deny that the promotion acted inappropriately in any way:

“We offered Seth Petruzelli a knockout bonus, a submission bonus and “fight of the night” bonus. If we were trying to influence the fight, why would we do that?”

Oh, so now Seth was offered a submission bonus too? This is the first we’ve heard about that one, and of course, it directly contradicts what Petruzelli originally said. (“They didn’t want me to take him down.”) Former EliteXC boss Gary Shaw isn’t helping their case either. Speaking to the L.A. Times, $kala’s dad said…

(The glory before the fall. Photo courtesy of UFC.com.)

TUF 8 lightweight Shane Nelson was eliminated from competition on last night’s “Ultimate Fighter,” but not before a night of drinking with Junie Allen Browning turned into a near expulsion for the two. Now Nelson talks with CagePotato.com and reflects on the drunken debauchery, the rivalry with Efrain Escudero, and some of the antics of his blonde friend that he saw for the first time in last night’s episode.

CagePotato: Now that you’ve seen it on TV, what did you think of the way the situation with you and Junie was portrayed? Was that how you remember it?

Nelson: Yeah, it was pretty much what it seems on TV. Basically we were watching the pay-per-view, we decided to have a couple of drinks, we had one too many drinks, and then things got out of control from there. What they didn’t show and which I thought they would show, was the next morning when I woke up I went to Delgado and Efrain and I apologized to them and we all put everything behind us. I’m surprised that they left that part out of the show.

Did Dana White come and talk to you guys the very next night after it happened?

Yeah, Dana White came and talked to us the very next night, but the fight wasn’t the next day after Dana talked to us. The fight was about five days after that whole night. So it wasn’t like the drinking still had an effect on me in the fight.

What was going through your mind when Dana showed up?

Oh, we thought we were gone. Junie and I both thought we were getting kicked off the show, because when we first got there the producers stressed that we weren’t allowed to touch anyone or anything like that, and we both crossed that line. I pushed two people and Junie took a swing at a few people, so we both thought we were going home for sure.

So how did things start between you and Efrain?

Well, we were watching the fights and, I’m from B.J. [Penn]’s school, and they all knew that. So we were watching the pay-per-view and common courtesy, you know, if you make comments about my coach, you know it’s going to bother me. He was cheering for Sean Sherk, which is fine, but some of the comments he made while he was cheering for him got under my skin and that’s how me and him got into it.

(If he’d known you were such a cheapskate, he never would have come back.)

UFC president Dana White claimed with confidence that the Randy Couture-Brock Lesnar headlined UFC 91 would break UFC records this November. He predicted over a million pay-per-view buys and a sure sell-out at the box office. Turns out the tickets, or at least the high-priced ones, aren’t exactly flying off the shelves…or wherever they keep tickets while they’re waiting to sell them.

The Wrestling Observer (via MMA Payout) says only $500 and up tickets remain, but they’re “moving slowly.” Could it be that because of the economic downturn rich assholes are now slightly less rich assholes, and they’ve had to cut Octagon-side tickets at the UFC from their budget in order to keep their yachts stocked with exotic animals and Mickey’s Fine Malt Liquor? Or maybe that’s just what I would do if I were rich.

Dave Meltzer says that the tickets sold don’t include numbers from casinos which have purchased tickets to give to their high rollers, which, we’ve been told, was one of the reasons for taking this card to Las Vegas and not Portland, Oregon. Casinos can always afford ridiculously expensive seats. People have to make mortgage payments on their worthless houses.

The real story here is that while Dana White may be correct about economic problems not affecting his pay-per-view buys, it could very well be a different story for live events. If Couture-Lesnar can’t sell out the 14,000-seat MGM Grand, what will that mean for Frank Mir-Antonio Nogueira?

(ESPN‘s Jim Rome lays into EliteXC at about the 5:20 mark.)

This thing isn’t going away quietly. In the wake of allegations that EliteXC offered Seth Petruzelli extra money to stand and bang with Kimbo Slice, Head of Operations Jeremy Lappen issued a formal statement defending the company’s actions and refuting any claims of impropriety, saying in part:

“Seth Petruzelli was offered a fee to fight Kimbo Slice, plus a knockout bonus, a common practice throughout the industry. EliteXC organizes and promotes fights. We have not…do not…and will not suggest or dictate fighters’ strategies or tactics. How the fighters perform in the cage is at the sole discretion of the athletes involved.

“The circumstances leading up to the Petruzelli/Slice fight were unusual. Ken Shamrock was declared medically ineligible less than three hours before the fight. As an organization, we made a decision to serve the paying audience in the arena and the prime time audience at home by delivering on a Kimbo Slice fight, which we had promised. This was done simply and solely with a standard fee and bonus offer to Petruzelli and by increasing the purse to Slice. Elite XC is grateful to both Seth and Kimbo for taking this fight against an opponent they didn’t train for and on such short notice.

He then goes on to trumpet Frank Shamrock’s willingness to step in even though everyone knew it wasn’t a feasible offer (even Frank, one has to assume), touts the exciting and “diverse” night of fights, and mentions what great ratings it got.

Problem solved, right? I mean, all they did was offer the guy extra money to knock Kimbo out. They didn’t say that knockout had to be on the feet. And sure, they didn’t offer a submission bonus, but that’s only because they think submissions are boring. Nothing wrong with that…or is there? Well, yeah, there is actually. But don’t take our word for it.

Fortunately, Dana White spoke to the Boston Herald about it, and he’s not the type to mince expletives. I mean, words: