MMA Fighter Challenges People to Punch Him in the Face, Everyone Fails

Tag: Danavlog

UFC 127 Danavlog #1: ‘TUF 13′ Set Already Destroyed, Everybody Takes Fitch by Decision


(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

Dana White’s latest UFC video blog is out, and it reveals the following:

- Somebody (not saying who) has already punched a hole into one of the walls on the TUF 13 set. Junior Dos Santos predicts Michael Bisping will defeat Jorge Rivera at UFC 127, and Jon Fitch will beat BJ Penn by decision. No surprises there.

- Brock Lesnar picks Jorge Rivera via ground-and-pound, but agrees that Jon Fitch will win by decision. (“Gotta stick with the wrassler,” he says.) Dana White sitting next to Brock Lesnar on a couch looks like a little bald child sitting next his big mean dad.

- Anthony Kiedis, my God. I’d like to take a time machine back to 1990 and confront a “Knock Me Down”-era Kiedis with footage that this is how he will look and carry himself when he’s 48 years old. Just the idea that he would be alive that long would probably freak him out, but one look at that mustache/pony-tail combo would send him into a tailspin of drug use and depression, possibly ending in suicide. Then, I would replace him as lead singer of the Red Hot Chili Peppers just in time for the band’s greatest period of commercial success. And that’s what I would do if I had a time machine.

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Video: Dana White’s UFC 120 Blog # 1


(Video courtesy YouTube/UFC)

When I clicked on the latest episode of Dana White’s fight week video blogs, I was hoping to at least hear the UFC president mention the candid private conversation he had with Ben on Saturday afternoon about Arianny’s Playboy spread, but instead I was treated to the usual inside jokes and inane banter between The Baldfather and his homeboys.

For more on what Dana had to say to Ben (and trust me, you don’t want to miss it) tune into The Bum Rush Friday morning.

Let’s just say Dana makes Gus Johnson seem like a polite telemarketer.


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Dana Vlog: The Boss Pals Around at the Worldwide Leader


(VidProps: YouTube/UFC)

One of the things the mainstream media loves to crow about Dana White is that he appeals to MMA fans because we view him as a “normal guy” who talks like we talk, dresses like we dress and isn’t afraid to speak his mind when the time comes. Of course, like a lot of things the mainstream media says about our sport, that’s total bullshit. There’s nothing “normal” about Dana White. Normal guys don’t take their kids to Rob Dyrdek’s Fantasy Factory for their birthdays, flit around on private planes or have sit downs with Mike Tyson.

In fact, one of the main reasons to like Dana White is that he’s not a normal guy. One of the reasons to like Big DW is that after the mainstream media told MMA fans to collectively go fuck themselves for, oh, about a decade Dana White smiled at them and basically said, “You’ll be begging me to be on your shows someday.” You know what? That cocky fucker was right, and it’s hard not to admire him for it. As evidence, witness DW’s new video blog, where he’s basically given the run of ESPN’s Bristol, Conn. “campus” for a day while he’s out promoting UFC 118.

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UFC 111 Video Blog Shows Us What It’s Like to Be on a Plane With Dana White


(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

Good news: The Danavlog is back, baby. Bad news: It might be the worst one yet. Ladies and gentlemen, prepare yourself for a full seven minutes of Dana White busting the balls of Marty Cordova, who forgot his passport on the way to Canada. Seriously, the whole thing takes place in the cabin of their private jet, and that’s all that happens. Luckily, we can hit the pause button as soon as the bullying insult-routine becomes too grating; unfortunately, Dana’s employees can’t hit pause on their own lives. One of these days, Marty or that "Morzo" guy behind him is going to snap and tell Dana to go fuck himself, and Dana is going to be dumbfounded, and Lorenzo Fertitta will be cracking up, and through his laughter Lorenzo will ask Dana if he’s going to take that from an employee, and Dana will take his shock pen and shock Marty (or whoever) to death, and then he and Lorenzo will have to bury the body somewhere, and at that moment Lorenzo will realize that Dana can’t be controlled, even if he’s just a minority owner on paper, and no that’s not a subplot from Goodfellas, that’s a completely original scenario that I just made up, so suck it.

Semi-related: After a brief period of reconciliation, the UFC has indefinitely denied press credentials to Dana’s old rival, Sherdog.com. When asked by Josh Gross to explain the reason for the re-ban, Dana White responded, "none of your [expletive] business." 

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UFC 108 Danavlog #1: Meet Gilbert Yvel


(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

Gilbert Yvel’s UFC debut against Junior Dos Santos is only five days away, and Dana White is pumped. To introduce the infamous Dutch striker to any dumbass noobs who’ve never heard of him, DW brought his video-blog operation over to Modern Martial Arts to watch Yvel work out. The gym is run by John Lewis, Dana’s first (and only) jiu-jitsu instructor, who went 1-1 in the UFC about ten years ago. Lewis complains to Dana that all he ever sees on UFC Unleashed is him getting tooled by Jens Pulver. To make it up to him, Lewis’s nasty stoppage of Lowell Anderson at UFC 22 is at the end of this video blog. Anyway, Yvel looks to be in fine form, but Dos Santos can bang too, and if he can get Hurricane Yvel to the ground it might be a wrap, son.

After the jump: Paul Daley discusses his God-given ability to knock people out; he’ll be taking on submission prodigy Dustin Hazelett at #108.

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UFC 104 Danavlog, Pt. 3: He’s Like a Child, In the Body of a Giant Baby

The 10/20 edition of the Danavlog is full of bad omens. After getting a bullshit ticket from some douchebag traffic cop, DW and his crew stop by Cold Stone Creamery — not Pinkberry — and Dana winds up paying the price with a tummy ache. And the Cold Stone workers didn’t even sing to him! Can this day get any worse? WHAT HAS HE DONE TO OFFEND YOU, GOD?

As if he doesn’t have enough problems, Dana has an Esquire writer following him around for a profile. So obviously he’s going to try out the bomb bag again. It fails so incredibly hard. Seriously, listen to that barely audible pop at the 3:13 mark. "Something’s bursting," Mike says. Hilarious. Then, it’s time to play video games and air hockey at Dave & Buster’s. Are you getting all this, Esquire guy?

Finally, around the 5:40 mark, Cain Velasquez and Mauricio Rua show up, and it isn’t long before Dana bomb-bags them. Suck it, Bellatorthis is how you harness the power of the Internet to promote fighters. Also, future Celebrity Rehab star Chuck Liddell shows up drunk and belligerent, and lifts Dana off the ground as he’s trying to give out some UFC 104 tickets. All in a day’s work, I guess, if you can legitimately call it that.

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Videos: The Hammer Is Back, UFC 100 Fight Day Danavlogs


(Props: MMA Fanhouse)

Win or lose, you can always count on Mark Coleman to give up the emotions after a fight. Taking home his first win in over three years against Stephan Bonnar on Saturday, the Hammer was elated. In the video above, Coleman tells us that he can’t stand being called an old man, and guarantees he’ll be a factor in the UFC light-heavyweight division now that he’s changed his mindset and the way he trains. He also denies gassing out at UFC 100: "I always look tired, I’m playing possum…I was fresh, I got better as the fight went on." You can watch the fight here to see just how fresh he looked.

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UFC 99 Fight Day Danavlog, Parts 1+2

After a three-day delay, the UFC 99 fight-day installment of the Dana White Video Blog was finally uploaded to youtube.com/ufc, and the massive two-parter feels like any other classic double-album — sure, it would have been "better" if it were edited down to a single video, but then you wouldn’t get the scope of the Danavlog’s ambition. In the first, more boring half (shown above), Dana roams the streets of Cologne, taking a lot of pictures with fans and getting a taste of the Germans’ particular brand of crazy. (See: short-shorts guy at 0:04, crazy dog man at 1:10-1:28, and blue afro lady at 4:57.) He also spends time explaining how this whole UFC thing works to curious German camera crews, winding his way through an endless receiving line at the arena, and congratulating Stefan Struve, who’s still sore about that Dos Santos fight. Anyway, you don’t need to watch it unless you’re a Danavlog completist, but the backstage action picks up in part two…

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BREAKING: The UFC Acquires New Sabretooth Tiger Skull


(Props: youtube.com/ufc)

Recession? What fuckin’ recession? Even in this economy, Zuffa has enough disposable income to buy an almost 100% intact sabretooth tiger skull, freshly pulled out of La Brea. It’s so beautiful that you can tell the fossil salesman, deep down, would rather have it displayed in polished glass and soft lighting in his personal study, and not on a table in the UFC offices where Rampage can put his face up against it and make bad breath jokes. But that’s the life of a bone dealer — heartbreak, scattered with moments of unbearable ecstasy.

Also in this installment of the UFC 99 Danavlog, DW takes in Sunday’s WEC show (where some horrible drunk bitch keeps demanding one more picture), drools over Marty Cordoba‘s hot bod, and reviews the sick televised card for Saturday’s show. FYI, the pay-per-view for #99 starts at 3 p.m. ET / noon PT, with a replay at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT.

After the jump: Mike Swick beats the crap out of some focus mitts; he’ll take on Ben Saunders on the main card of UFC 99.

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UFC 98 Danavlog: The Final Preparations

With "Evans vs. Machida" signaling the end of a five-week UFC drought, the anticipation and nervous energy runs high in this video-blog-recap of Wednesday and Thursday. President White is in good spirits, checking out the new, heavier version of the UFC championship belt, cruising around in the ultimate guidomobile, and torching some poor schmuck who had the misfortune of showing up in a paisley shirt. ("You and the Revolution have a good day. Say hi to Apollonia for me.") Later, he presses palms at Thursday’s press conference, and has a very cordial phone conversation with Chuck Liddell, who’s his usual lucid self. I hope you’re all re-hydrating, because it’s about to go down…

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