(Fedor, seen here seconds before appearing in the most famous MMA sex tape of all time: “Two Scoops, One Emperor”) 

Just a few weeks out from what could be his last fight as a mixed martial artist (Author’s note: I just held back vomit whilst typing that.), Russian demigod Fedor Emelianenko recently popped up in a Mercedes-Benz commercial, if only for a few seconds of ultra slo-mo glory. For some reason, the creative talent in charge of said commercial thought it would be cooler for Fedor to don a tuxedo rather than his Glorious Sweater of Absolute Victory, which is as big a travesty as anything we’ve ever seen in the five years we’ve been in existence. Not since Overeem/Dos Santos has such an opportunity been squandered, so shame on you, Mercedes-Benz. Looks like our company car is going to be a Ferrari next year.

Check out the ad and let us know whether or not you will be boycotting Mercedes-Benz for this glaring oversight along with us.

They had us until they tried to pass off diving as a sport. Like we all don’t know it’s just falling with style. Just ask Jason Statham.

Props: Supersindo.kr. Picture of Kang in action available after the jump.

I don’t know how to break this to you, so I’ll just be blunt about it: Remember when a victory over Denis Kang actually meant something? Yeah, those days have traveled the same road as Pepsi Jazz. After a disappointing 1-2 run in the UFC, “The Super Korean” has gone 2-3-1, which includes his current three fight losing streak.

And now, the once dominant PRIDE middleweight is competing on this season of Korea’s Dancing with the Stars.

If you’re wondering how the Korean DWtS differs from the American version (you aren’t, but play along), Director Shin Myeong-hoon recently told The Korea Herald that their version “will focus more on dancesport (competitive ballroom dancing), which has its own fan base.”

Granted, I’m not exactly a dance critic. In fact, I didn’t even know competitive ballroom dancing was a thing until that last sentence. But from the looks of this picture from last night’s episode, Denis Kang is about to suffer a loss far less dignified than his recent loss to Jesse Taylor:

It’s been over two months since we’ve seen Chuck Liddell throw around Russian pixie Anna Trebunskaya, but the two have been reunited for one last score, thanks to a Dancing With the Stars-themed feature in the 2010 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue. Watch as Anna bounces around in a bikini while Chuck bounces around like a jackass. Obviously this isn’t going to be the deciding factor for you to go out and buy the issue — there’s an entire spread on bodypainted ex-girlfriends of soccer players, so you should already have this thing pre-ordered.

(Props: MrBavers)

This Wednesday’s season finale of The Ultimate Fighter: Heavyweights will be a two-hour mega-episode featuring four fights — the last two quarterfinal bouts and both semifinal matches — along with some heated emotions courtesy of Marcus "Big Baby" Jones. As you can see in the above preview, the eye-pokes that Scott Junk sustained in his fight against Matt Mitrione turn out to be career-threatening. When Jones hears the bad news about his friend, he gets way up in the face of the meatheaded culprit and promises him death. Mitrione figures if he keeps quiet and doesn’t make eye contact, the Babystorm will eventually drift away. Does it work, or does Matt catch a beating that knocks them both out of the competition? And how anti-climactic will this "final twist" be? Only three more days until all the questions are answered and we can finally put this awful season behind us.

After the jump: Speaking of finales, DWtS had theirs on Tuesday, and they brought Chuck Liddell back for a martial arts-themed dance showdown with Mark Dacascos. It was everything we hoped it wouldn’t be, and so much more…

(Photo courtesy of ABC News.)

You could see it on Anna Trebunskaya‘s face Monday night during judging — Chuck Liddell‘s plodding two-step was the last gasp of his Celebrity Dancing career. The show’s viewers made it official yesterday, voting the former UFC light-heavyweight champion off of Dancing With the Stars. Look, we all know how unfair that is — Louie Vito should have been the next to go, obviously — but in the end, Liddell finished the season in 11th place out of 16 competitors, beating out Ashley Hamilton, Macy Gray, Kathy Ireland, Tom DeLay (stoppage due to injury), and Debi Mazar. That’s pretty damn impressive for a guy who came into the show as a complete amateur. As Trebunskaya told Chris Cuomo on GMA today:

Despite Anna’s obvious bitterness, we’d like to salute Chuck for trying something highly challenging and potentially embarassing in order to promote his sport in front of an unfamiliar audience. And just because the Iceman has been voted off, that doesn’t mean we’ll stop covering DWtS. Come back next Tuesday morning to find out how Aaron Carter handled the Paso Doble!

(Props: PROMMA)

Traditionally performed by drunken rednecks, the two-step was supposed to be right in Chuck Liddell‘s sweet spot. And still these goddamned bloodsucking judges criticized his lack of grace on last night’s Dancing With the Stars. Fine, so he was more of a prop for Anna Trebunskaya in this round, but at least he got to lift her over his head a couple times. (Check out the 0:43 mark during the training montage; I’m sure it took a tremendous amount of self-control not to power-bomb that chick through the basement.)

In the end, the Iceman’s skill with a lasso and ability to take a head-kick weren’t enough to win over the so-called "experts," and he ended up with a score of 17 (just like last week), putting him near the bottom once again; Michael Irvin and Louie Vito tied for dead-last with scores of 16. Let’s put that in perspective: Even if Cecil Peoples showed up as a special guest judge and added a perfect 10 to Liddell’s score, he’d still have one less point than Melissa Joan Hart and Mya. Whatever the dance-studio equivalent of American Top Team is, Chuck needs to go there immediately and start expanding his toolkit, because the younger, hungrier celebrity dancers are closing in, just waiting for a chance to make their names off of him.

(Props: wwwprommadotinfo via MMA Mania)

Last week on Dancing With the Stars, Chuck Liddell got to wear MMA gloves, make angry faces, and tear his shirt off. But any tough guy can tango — does Chuck have enough lightness in the loafers to pull off the samba? I’m not a dance expert, so I’m probably the wrong guy to ask. All I know is, those sleeves he came out with at the 1:46 mark were breathtaking. We also saw a tender moment where Chuck and his daughter went out for pedicures. (My God this disintegration of traditional parental roles!)

Despite the awkward humping at 2:25, Chuckie did aight, and the judges were tough but fair. Bruno called it a "samba from Zombietown," which is high praise considering Zombietown’s high dance standards. Once again, Chuck’s score (17) placed him near the bottom but not squarely on the chopping block. Scoring lowest last night was Michael Irvin (14), who somehow did worse than injured white guy Tom DeLay (15).

Related: Chuck and Anna will be signing autographs at the AT&T Center in San Antonio before WEC 43: Cerrone vs. Henderson this Sunday.

(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

Chuck Liddell was saved from the chopping block this week on Dancing With the Stars — sorry, Kathy — which means that he’ll have to deal with the show’s awful contestants for at least one more round. The UFC is trying to make lemonade out of bullshit by filming a video blog in which Chuck takes us on a tour of the trailers behind the set, asking the quasi-celebs who they’re picking for UFC 104‘s main event of Lyoto Machida vs. Mauricio "Shogun" Rua. As you can imagine, the brilliant analysis comes fast and furiously, courtesy of the painfully thin and gawky Aaron Carter, snowboarding champ Louie Vito, Olympic swimmer Natalie Coughlin, and Dallas Cowboys legend Michael Irvin, who’s both attracted and repelled by the sport, and is convinced that Chuck is going to fight the winner. "I’m comin’ back for one of ‘um sooner or later," Chuck says. Then Tom Delay walks by and is like "Kimbo Slice would kick your ass, you washed-up redneck." Seriously. I can’t believe they kept that part in.

After the jump: Michael Bisping and Dan Hardy spend a day pimping UFC 105 (November 14th, Manchester) in relative obscurity.

(Props: bruceleesspirit)

During his debut appearance on Dancing With the Stars last week, Chuck Liddell tried to pretend that he was Mr. Nice Guy Charming Won’t Punch Your Face In, and his discomfort was palpable. Last night, the gloves came off (literally), and Chuck was out for blood. Highlights included Anna Trebunskaya’s spot-on John Hackleman impression at the very beginning, and the insane Iceman pose at 1:14. (Is he going to end every dance like that from now on? We can only hope.) The performance earned Liddell a score of 19, which tied him for second-to-last with three other competitors. Only Tom DeLay and Kathy Ireland fared worse, with scores of 18. In other words, the Iceman will probably live to dance another day.

Oh, and by the way?

(Props: CagePotato reader Richard T.)

Heart breaker/dream maker/love taker Chuck Liddell assaults the dancefloor again on tonight’s installment of Dancing With the Stars (ABC, 8/7c), following his debut last week, which kind of sucked, but not as much as Macy Gray’s. As you can see from the above photo, Chuck’s dance partner Anna Trebunskaya may already be cracking from the pressure of dealing with the Iceman, though Liddell himself seems to be having a freakin’ blast. Seriously, I wonder what kind of crazy voices he was doing to go along with those Henson-caliber sock puppets! More Please, indeed! Anyway, watch and vote if you have absolutely nothing better to do tonight.

After the jump: Dancin’ Chuck reimagined as a Simpson character, courtesy of Fightlinker/ScritchandScratch.

(Props: Fightlinker)

For those of you who didn’t watch it last night — which includes myself, so this post is as much for me as it is for you — here’s Chuck Liddell‘s debut performance on Dancing With the Stars. The first thing that sticks out is his voice in the intro. Liddell’s from Cali, but he’s taken so many blows to the head over the years that he’s starting to sound like a grizzled Sam Elliott. Anna Trebunskaya‘s main piece of advice to Chuck is to smile so he doesn’t come off as a psychopath. Things start out well enough, though the discomfort is obvious on Chuck’s face at the 2:27 mark, and there are a few obviously botched steps. It doesn’t help that Dana White and the Fertitta Brothers are in the front row, laughing their asses off at him the whole time.

Constructive criticism from the judges starts at 3:51: Bruno refers to Chuck as a "gentle neanderthal" and says he has some work to do. Carrie Ann Inaba calls him "smooth" but wants him to improve his footwork. The old guy in the middle asks him to get in touch with his feminine side, and is lucky he didn’t get punched out for it. Chuck’s combined score of 22 put him in 5th place among the eight celebs who competed last night.

("My name’s Chuck. You can call me Mr. Seduction." Image courtesy of BloodyElbow.)

Repent, for judgment day is upon us. Tonight at 8 p.m. ET/PT, the ninth season of Dancing With the Stars will premiere on ABC, featuring the Iceman himself, Chuck Liddell. Tune in to find out how Chuck responds to criticism from this doofus. For those of you who think Liddell is going to get blown out of the competition early, prepare to be shocked. According to TMZ, he’s given up alcohol for the gig, and is actually a dark horse to go all the way: "Our spies say he’s really good and practices like a mutha. One source says he gets to practice early and shuts the place down, with 6 hour, uninterrupted power sessions. And get this — we’re told he’s already lost 20 lbs."

Which of course means that he won his $10,000 bet with Dana White…

(Props: community.livejournal.com/mma_rus via Fightlinker)

A punch-drunk fighter with a heart of gold learns to love himself again through the graceful (life) lessons of an auburn-haired dance instructor. No, it’s not the plot of a new Mickey Rourke/Isla Fisher romantic comedy. It’s Chuck Liddell‘s real fuckin’ life, so get used to it. (It’ll help if you put on this song, and try to pretend that this is all just part of some badass training montage.) Season nine of Dancing With the Stars premieres on September 21st. Will the Iceman’s moves be up to snuff, or will the judges starch him harder than Sugar and Shogun combined? And what are the odds that Kimbo Slice will join DWtS for season 10?

Previously: Chuck Liddell’s Dance Partner: This Russian Chick