(Jesse Taylor pisses his shorts on national television.)

Every Thursday morning, Team Rampage member Gerald Harris blogs his reactions to each new episode of The Ultimate Fighter 7 on CagePotato.com. Here’s what he had to say about last night’s ep, in which retard-strong (and retard-smart) Jesse Taylor pounded his way to victory, and Amir Sadollah and Matt Brown put on the best fight of the season.

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By now everyone should know that Jesse Taylor is for real. He’s not the most exciting fighter in the world, but he’s solid and gets the job done. I can’t hate, because I respect winners and he’s also a Team Quest fighter so I was rooting for him. Dante just laid there and took a beating. He’s a veteran in the game and also a brown belt under Ricardo Almeida, so I assumed that he would catch Jesse, but Jesse just punched the [blank] out of him for two full rounds.

Now, let me get to the action! Matt Brown vs. Amir Sadollah was crazy. That’s a fight that people would pay money to watch. I think the first round could be given to Brown for the aggression and last second takedown. Amir seemed to pick up steam in the second round, took Matt down, punished him from the top, and eventually sunk in a triangle choke. I liked the fight because it wasn’t a sloppy slugfest. Brown has a great boxing background and Amir showed his Muay Thai and ground game with the strikes and sub finish. It’s crazy that the more you pressure him, he gets stronger and doesn’t fold — that’s the quality of a good fighter. I can say the same about Brown plus he was very humble in his loss and showed respect for his opponent.

Every Thursday morning, Team Rampage member Gerald Harris will be blogging his reactions to each new episode of The Ultimate Fighter 7 on CagePotato.com. Here’s what he had to say about last night’s ep, in which tensions rose between Jeremy May and Mike Brown, and Brandon Sene and Dante Rivera went head-to-head in a three-round war.

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In case you didn’t notice, Matt Brown isn’t the happiest person in the house. If I had to pull a prank on someone, he would be the last one on the list. Matt seems like the type of person where you wake up in the middle of the night and he’s standing over you, in his underwear, sharpening a butcher knife. So, instead of possibly getting killed in my sleep I chose not to participate in the “lime juice” prank. That’s a national rule: You don’t put lime juice in a Southern man’s dip! Like midgets to amusement parks, gas prices to SUVs, or diarrhea to a track star in the 100-yard hurdles, those two things don’t go together. I actually like the fact that somebody caused some trouble, because we were pretty damn bored. You’ve probably heard that we don’t have any TVs, radio, magazines, books, internet access, phones, and worst of all, no women! Except for the ring girls — and we enjoyed every step they took around the ring. Every step.

The Brown-May incident kind of overshadowed the actual fight pick between Brandon Sene and Dante Rivera. There was no drama between those two, so we just wanted to win and get control. From an mma view, that was a pretty good fight. From a fan’s view, it could have been seen as boring because people like action — especially stand-up action. Sene was busy and could have won the fight if he had escaped more, but Dante maintained control and pulled off the victory. What people fail to realize is that when someone loses on the show, reality kicks in. Brandon had sold his car and had just moved into a house so he planned on making some money to support himself. His only hope now is that someone gets injured and he gets a second chance.

(Tim Credeur takes a brain-scrambling illegal upkick.)

One of TUF 7‘s brightest prospects had to work his ass off to keep his place in the house on last night’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter, as Tim Credeur battled his way through a very game (but ultimately too inexperienced) Matthew Riddle. The fight was one of the best in recent TUF history, but before it went down, the following happened:

— Jesse Taylor, who we’ll henceforth refer to as “Mongo,” followed up his brilliant can’t-figure-out-the-dishwasher performance from last episode with a sequence of him not being able to figure out how to open a bottle of beer, then accidentally breaking some wooden window blinds. He also has “questionable spots on his body,” and with Paul Bradley’s herpes scare still fresh in their minds, Mongo’s housemates spray him down with Tinactin. Mongo is unfortunately poised to be the Private Pyle of the house.

— Matt “Chipper” Riddle is chomping at the bit to fight. His goofy enthusiasm rubs Dante Rivera the wrong way, and some trash talking ensues. Rivera claims he’ll retire from fighting if Riddle ever beats him, and after it’s announced that Riddle has been picked to face Tim Credeur, Rivera tries to bet Riddle $500 that he’ll lose the fight. Riddle refuses, and accuses Rivera of trying to get inside his head. “I live inside your head,” Rivera says. “You’re my son right now.”

— Tim Credeur knows that the Ultimate Fighter experience is a do-or-die moment in his career; if it doesn’t work out, he may need to find a different line of work. And the fact that he could be derailed by some punk-ass mama’s boy visibly upsets him. “For [Riddle], it’s a cool time, it’s neato mosquito,” Credeur says. “But for me, this is not neato.” He then says “let the good times roll” in French.

— Rampage tries to instill hatred of Team Forrest in his guys by suggesting that “Team Brown Nose” gets better treatment. “I bet their gloves fit them,” he says. In one scene, he goes to CB Dollaway for his take on what the next matchup might be; Dollaway may be emerging as Rampage’s consigliere.

So, Tim Credeur (Team Forrest, 10-2) and Matthew Riddle (Team Rampage, 1-0) finally go toe-to-toe, and it’s a wild one.