(So close to validation, yet soooo far away…)

Former/possibly current professional wrestler Bobby Lashley returns to mixed martial arts action this November, taking on TUF 10 alum Darrill “The Boss” Schoonover for the Shark Fights Heavyweight title.

Since making his MMA debut in 2008, Lashley has put together a 6-1 record with notable wins over Bob Sapp, Jason Guida, and Wes Sims. Lashley’s hype train was derailed by Chad Griggs at Stikeforce: Houston however, where after a moderately successful first round, “The Dominator” gassed in the second and was unable to answer the third round bell. Lashley has since picked up a unanimous decision victory over journeyman John Ott at Titan Fighting Championships 17.

(Justin Wren: The mohawk and tattoo say "badass." The leopard-print shorty-shorts say "barback at a gay nightclub." / Photo courtesy of the UFC TUF Finale: Weigh Ins set on CombatLifestyle.com.)

Spoilers after the jump…

After his latest “Do you wanna be an [expletive] fighter” speech on the last episode, Dana White is surprised that nobody is stepping over Matt Mitrione to take his spot, which is strange because Scott Junk made it very clear that he’d just do that, wrecked eye notwithstanding. One guy who definitely isn’t down to fight is (wait for it) Kimbo Slice, who’s concerned about his arthritis-stricken knee and starts throwing out excuses. Bottom line is, he won’t be able to perform at full strength, and he can’t stomach another loss, so he’d just rather not fight, if that’s cool.

“I am in no position to fight a kickboxer like James McSweeney at this point,” he says, adding that it would “demise” him a little bit taking the fight knowing he wasn’t healthy. Dana White is a little taken back; he didn’t expect this from Kimbo, whose gameness was supposed to be his best quality. But that’s the situation. The season’s poster boy turns out to be a total bust. I demand a refund.

Luckily, Matt Mitrione feels healthy again. He tells Rashad that he’s been cleared to fight, and Rashad tells us "I bet he called the doctor and the doctor said ‘listen kid, I told you two days ago you could fight,’” which is hilarious because that’s pretty much exactly how it went down. Finally, Mitrione admits that his head injury story was exaggerated to mess with James McSweeney and keep himself entertained. Ohhhhh, now it all makes sense…

("Hey. My eyes are up here.")

The Ultimate Fighter‘s Darrill Schoonover isn’t just a promising heavyweight with a minor drinking problem and disturbing tattoos; he’s also a U.S. Army veteran who spent four years serving our country. Schoonover will make his official UFC debut at the TUF 10 finale on December 5th, but his long-term career plans just became a little more uncertain. As he explained on Shambala Sports Radio:

Damn, dude. Can’t Dana pull some strings? It would be just his luck that Darrill wins the contract, then has to take off to hunt Bin Laden’s homeboys — a perfect end to a season where the coaches don’t even fight. Schoonover will be deployed for 400 days, and hopes to lose enough weight so that he can compete at light-heavyweight in the future. But no matter who he faces next month at the TUF 10 finale, he’ll be in good company…

Darrill Schoonover is a drunk. He has a few beers in his belly by 8 a.m., followed by a few shots of whiskey, in an attempt to exact a brutal revenge on the dog that bit him. Unfortunately, it seems to be affecting his work. Schoonover gets handled by Brendan Schaub in sparring, and James McSweeney spills the beans about Darrill’s alcohol intake to Coach Rashad. Rashad and his assistant coaches tell him to cut it out, or at least wait until he’s won a fight before he starts celebrating. "You can’t forget why you’re here," Rashad says. But he also sees the potential in Schoonover: "Darill is that little diamond in the rough…There’s something in Schoonover that [Team Rampage] just don’t know."

Phil Nurse stops by to work with Team Rashad, and we see that scene from yesterday, where Darrill is drunk enough to challenge Rampage to a fight. They have words; most of Rampage’s words involve some reference to "titties." Schoonover wants to take on Rampage in a sparring session, or at the very least head-butt him.

The next fight is announced: Schoonover vs. Zak Jensen. We figured Darrill would get a tougher opponent, but maybe his performance in practice has made Rashad nervous. Anyway, it looks like another easy win for Team Rashad. "Titties!", Rampage shouts after Darrill’s name is called. "Fuck you bitch," Darrill replies. "Got milk, bitch? Got milk?", Rampage says. Darrill nearly goes after Rampage, but Rashad breaks them up. "Walk up on me again, your ass gonna be in trouble, trust me," Rampage says. "You feel froggy, then jump."

TEAM RASHAD’s remaining fighters:

Justin Wren (Rashad’s #3 pick), Darrill Schoonover (#6), Matt Mitrione (#7), Mike Wessel (#8)

TEAM RAMPAGE’s remaining fighters:

Wes Sims (Rampage’s #4 pick), Scott Junk (#5), Marcus Jones (#7), Zak Jensen (#8)

Thanks to a couple of boneheaded fight picks by Quinton Jackson, followed by a couple of spot-on matchups by Rashad Evans, Team Rashad has gone up 4-0 on this season of The Ultimate Fighter. We’ve seen this kind of thing happen before on TUF, where one side takes an early lead and has the other team playing catchup. But this feels different. Rampage started off as an inept coach, and last night’s episode showed that he’s basically stopped trying. His team is absolutely rudderless. The psychological advantages that Rashad’s guys have over Rampage’s are profound. Could Team Rashad actually sweep the first round of fights, 8-0?

Strictly based on talent, it’ll be a close race from here on out. Obviously, the order in which the fighters were picked by their coaches isn’t a direct correlation to their talent levels — otherwise Roy Nelson would have been picked second overall and Kimbo Slice would have been picked ninth, not the other way around — but for the last four preliminary fights, each team is now left with one top-eight pick, and three bottom-eight picks. If Rashad is smart (and he absolutely is), he’ll do the following…

(Click the image to go to the video on Spike.com)

For the most part, Team Rashad is all lovey-dovey brotherhood and positive visualization, and that’s clearly worked for them so far. But all is not well in the land of the black-and-yellow. Left out of last night’s episode was an incident in which Darrill "Titties" Schoonover accidentally crushed and drowned a bird in the backyard. As he’s telling the story to Rashad and MVA, he puts on a high-pitched voice — simply to set the scene and give it some much-needed drama — which James McSweeney takes as direct mockery. The spazzy kickboxer gets up in Darrill’s face, and Titties removes his glasses, ready to throw down. "You think you’re a big man?" McSweeney says. "You’ll get fuckin’ served right up…I will knock you the fuck out. I ain’t a li’ul bird."

Rashad is able to chill McSweeney out later, but it’s clear that their little happy-go-lucky bubble has been punctured. Team Rampage assistant Hector Ramirez witnesses the near-debacle and runs to tell Tiki Ghosn that their rival team might be fracturing. It probably isn’t, but after Team Rashad finishes running the table during the round-of-16, his guys will have to start fighting each other, and we may see Schoonover vs. McSweeney before long.