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Tag: Detroit

VIDEO: 400-Pound Detroit Resident Suffers the Greatest Knockout Loss In Street-Fight History

(The word “harpooned” comes to mind. Props: labrea69, via the always-entertaining¬†Tuesday Night Fights feature on Deadspin)

- David vs. Goliath freak-show booking? Check.

- Walk-off knockout? Check.

- Loser collapses lawn-chair style? Check…

- …with his enormous belly exposed to all humanity? CHECK.

The only way this KO would be more satisfying is if the fat dude (aka “400 Pound Boy From Detroit“) started involuntarily masturbating while unconscious, and then Maury Povich walked up to inform him that in the case of 2-year-old Teesha, he in fact is the father. Aside from that, awesome stuff, Internet.


UFC 123 Live Results and Commentary (Murder City Edition)

(“So then I said, ‘Hey Tim, Dana told me if you beat Rizzo he might let you back in the UFC.’ Man, you should’ve seen his face. I think the poor fucker believed me.” PicProps: CombatLifestyle)

I went to Detroit once. During the summer of 1998 my band played at a bar called the Old Miami in the city’s Cass Corridor neighborhood. It was the kind of place where Vietnam veterans hung their actual purple hearts on the wall and tacked up fading snapshots of fallen fellow soldiers with the letters “KIA” scrawled above their heads in ballpoint pen. I kept expecting Dennis Hopper to wander in and say something like, “This is a heavy scene, man.” In fact, the whole town was like a living embodiment of every Bruce Springsteen song ever written. It was kind of cool, in an anthropological sort of way. Needless to say, the middle-aged ex-grunts who hung out at that bar didn’t seem to appreciate our particular brand of balls-to-the-wall, angsty hardcore music. Weird, I know.

I imagine not much has changed. In a lot of ways, war-torn old Detroit is the perfect setting  for Quinton “Rampage” Jackson to stage a comeback fight. Both are getting on in years and still carry an aura of unpredictable violence despite the fact that their best days are probably behind them. I don’t even know what city Machida is like. Where do they drink the most piss? Santa Barbara? Probably Santa Barbara. Anyway,  we’ll be going live at 10 p.m. Eastern. As always, be sure to hit refresh early and often to keep up with the latest happenings.


James Toney Still Hanging Around Like a Bad Smell, Wants Another UFC Shot in Detroit

James Toney UFC 118 weigh-ins
("Yeah, yeah, the number is the number, now where the f*ck the buffet at?" Photo courtesy of Heavy.)

After James Toney performed about as well as we thought James Toney would at UFC 118 last month, Dana White stated that we’d seen the last of Lights Out in the Octagon. And that may be the case, but it’s not going to stop James from trying. (After all, he got his UFC gig in the first place by being an insufferable pest.) In a new story posted on Fighthype, Toney angles for a spot on the upcoming UFC 123: Rampage vs. Machida card, which will be held near his Detroit hometown. "If they want to sell any tickets in Detroit, they should put me on there," Toney said. "Bitch ass Rampage can’t sell no tickets in my hometown." 

Well that’s not very kind. Keep in mind that James Toney didn’t exactly prove to be a strong live draw himself, as UFC 118 was short a couple thousand seats of a sellout, even with Toney’s presence. And that was in Boston, a fantastic and well-populated city that MMA fans would actually want to travel to. Detroit, on the other hand, is a bombed-out wasteland that you would only pass through as a last resort. According to our own research, the only way to guarantee sales in Detroit is to book either Brock Lesnar or GSP against Violent J or Shaggy 2 Dope.


Quick Hits: Baby Names, Weight Class Jumps, Opinionated Rants, + More

(Welcome to the world, Jameson twins.  You’re screwed.)

Tito Ortiz and Jenna Jameson have put the unfathomable power of their two super-brains to work and come up with names for their newborn twins: Jesse and Journey Jett. 

You know, considering who their parents are, I’d say these kids got off pretty easy.  Although it is a bit of a screw-job to give one kid a normal name and then name the other after a band that won’t even be ironically cool anymore by the time they’re in junior high.  But hey, as long as they’re both carrying around the illustrious Jameson surname neither one of them is going to be lacking in emotional baggage.

In other news…