(Props to MiddleEasy for the find, and yes, that is none other than McBeardsly Oxendine handling Buffer duties.) 

We love local MMA shows for many of the same reasons we love Leonard Garcia; technique is often trumped by a need to entertain, punches are thrown like baseballs at a speed pitch machine, and by the time the smoke has cleared, we usually have at least one thing to laugh about or reference at a later date. It’s like watching a Troma film; sure, you won’t learn any life lessons from the experience, but are you gonna sit there and tell us that you would be better off if you had never seen Poultrygeist? That’s what we thought.

So in the name of mindless entertainment, we bring you the XFP 3 heavyweight title fight between Mark Jahad and Wayne Johnson that went down in Raleigh, North Carolina last Friday. All the cornerstones of a local fight are there; ridiculously telegraphed haymakers, both participants gassing out inside of two-minutes, and a shaky and often out-of-focus camera capturing all the action.

But what you might not see coming is the picture perfect dicknailing that comes via a Wayne Johnson punch (no to be confused with a Wayne-johnson punch, which is even more devastating) at the 2:50 mark.

The knockout comes, somewhat ironically, from a wild right hand that any two-eyed individual should have seen coming a mile in advance. Unfortunately, Mark Jahad was not one of those people, and his error resulted in one of the finest dicknailings ever commited to film. Alright fine, it’s not technically film. GAWD, can’t you guys have fun with anything?

-J. Jones

(No, Rampage, that’s not a white tiger! Bad Rampage! Down!) 

Can MMA fighters just start referring to these so called “retirements” as what they really are (an extended vacation), or do they simply have too much pride? I only ask because, after retiring less than twenty pay-per-views ago (that’s roughly a year in human people time), it appears that TUF 3 light heavyweight alum Matt Hamill will be returning to action at UFC 152, where he will be taking on promotional newcomer and Bellator veteran Roger Hollett.

Being that Matt is one of the more inspirational figures in the sport, not to mention hails from just a few towns away from me, I was initially excited to hear this news. Sure, Matt will probably not be getting his revenge (or whatever you’d call it considering he won) on Jon Jones anytime soon, but he makes for a great addition to any card, and produces good fights for the most part with the occasional skull shattering KO mixed in. However, upon reading over what BG (or at least who I assume was BG, being that I’m the only one who signs his damn posts around here) wrote when Hamill originally announced his retirement, I couldn’t help but reconsider:

Prior to Saturday night, Hamill’s only career losses came against former champions Quinton Jackson and Rich Franklin, as well as his controversial split-decision loss against Michael Bisping…But losing to a mid-level up-and-comer like Gustafsson (Ed note: How things change in a year, amiright?) was apparently the final sign that the game was passing him by. It’s rare to find an MMA fighter who hangs up the gloves before the sport has completely chewed him up. Hats off to Hamill for a fantastic career, and for knowing when to walk away.

Granted, Hammil stated that part of the reason he had decided to retire was due to a “career [that] has been plagued by injuries starting with The Ultimate Fighter and disrupted my training ever since,” so perhaps he has finally had the time to sufficiently heal up. That being said, what do you think of his decision? Will it go the way of Jamie Varner, or is “The Hammer” just setting himself up to get dicknailed?