Eh, still more exciting than the Rocky musical. Photo courtesy of Josh Hedges/Getty Images.

Let’s start off by stating the obvious: The last-minute main event of yesterday’s UFC on Fuel TV 9 was an anti-climactic ending to an otherwise gratifying afternoon of sanctioned violence. As hard as we tried to convince ourselves that Swedish prospect Ilir Latifi could be an interesting opponent for highly-regarded Strikeforce import Gegard Mousasi, the actual fight was completely unspectacular. This isn’t to say that either fighter deserves criticism for his performance, but rather, that this sort of thing will happen when a guy who earned a UFC contract by virtue of being willing to replace his injured training partner headlines an event on four days’ notice.

Despite walking out to the Rocky theme, it immediately became clear that a Balboa-esque upset – or even a Wepnerian display of resilience – was not in store for Latifi (though the cuts on his face were vintage Chuck Wepner). Latifi was completely incapable of avoiding Mousasi’s jab, which prevented him from getting close enough to The Dreamcatcher to actually put his wrestling prowess to use. As carefree as Mousasi looked – did he even blink during those rare occasions when Latifi landed punches? – he was in complete control throughout the bout, jabbing his way to a unanimous decision victory.

(Well I hope you’re happy, Wanderlei.)

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to our liveblog for UFC on FUEL TV 9 — or as we like to call it, “The event that Alexander Gustafsson’s eyebrow murdered.” Luckily it’s free, and there are still enough decent scraps on the card to make up for the utter randomness of the headliner, including Ross Pearson vs. Ryan Couture, Matt Mitrione vs. Philip De Fries, and Diego Brandao vs. Pablo Garza.

Heading up today’s play-by-play is George Shunick, who will be sticking live results from the “Mousasi vs. Latifi” main card broadcast after the jump beginning at 2 p.m. ET / 11 a.m. PT. Refresh the page for all the latest, and please throw down your own thoughts in the comments section. Thanks for being here. We definitely owe you one.

(Only Brandao can make a mouthful of Tropical Skittles seem so Goddamn intimidating. Photo via MMAWeekly.) 

A plethora of fights have recently been announced for the UFC’s return to Sweden on April 6th, starting with a featherweight scrap that is all but guaranteed to deliver some high-level thrills. Since winning the TUF 14 plaque back in December of 2011 following a dominant run on the show, Diego Brandao has gone just 1-1 in the UFC, dropping a unanimous decision to Darren Elkins in his sophomore appearance at UFC 146 before scoring a UD win of his own over Joey Gambino at UFC 153. For his next appearance, the 5’7″ Brazilian will be forced to somehow negate the distance created by 6’1″ Pablo Garza, who recently bounced back from a two-fight losing streak (including a UD loss to TUF 14 runner-up Dennis Bermudez) by retiring Mark Hominick at UFC 154. 

These subtle Cake references doing anything for you guys? OK, I’ll stop.

Although Garza hinted at a drop to 135 following his win over Hominick, it appears as if he will be looking to build a little momentum at featherweight before doing so. That, or Garza came to realization that he already resembles Brian Robeson at the end of Hatchet come fight night and dropping another ten pounds would likely kill him.

Also on par for UFC on FUEL 9 is a lightweight pairing between Reza Madadi (1-1 UFC) and TUF 12 runner-up Michael Johnson (4-3 UFC), both of whom are coming off losses at UFC 153 and UFC 155, respectively. Middleweights Tom Lawlor and Michael Kuiper will also meet at the event. Lawlor most recently dropped a controversial decision (controversial meaning “bullshit” in this case) to the highly-touted Francis Carmont at UFC 154, whereas Kuiper last scored a second round TKO over Jared Hamman at UFC 150. 

The full lineup for UFC on FUEL 9 is after the jump.

(Step 1: Combine equal parts Rage virus and Mr. Clean’s DNA. Step 2. ????????? Step 3. Profit.) 

We don’t mean to sound harsh, but come October 13th, the UFC will more than likely be severing its ties with 9-1 prospect Joey Gambino. As was the case with guys like Antonio Silva and the poor saps who made it onto our “Cursed From Birth” list, it seems that the UFC  doesn’t want to give “The Raging Warrior” a rebound match or a chance to develop in the organization, and will sit idly by as he is pummeled into mincemeat on two separate occasions.

We don’t want to write the guy off (but are doing exactly that), but to put it simply, Gambino was basically filleted then submitted by TUF 14 veteran Steve Siler in his UFC debut at UFC on FX 4. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, now he’s been booked to face not only the winner of that season in his sophomore appearance, but the man who absolutely annihilated Siler (among others) in Diego Brandao. The world is truly an unjust place.

Then again, it’s not like Brandao has looked bulletproof since entering the UFC. He will also be looking to bounce back from a loss, which came at the hands of Darren Elkins at UFC 146. Despite stomping Elkins in the first round, Brandao looked visibly sluggish in the second and third, allowing Elkins to use his superior grappling to keep Brandao on the bottom en route to a unanimous decision loss. So maybe, just maybe, Gambino stands a chance here.

But probably not.

Check out a shoddily filmed video of Gambino’s UFC 146 bout with Siler after the jump and let us know if you agree or disagree. 

It may be an all heavyweight main card, but the bantamweight is stealing the show. Props: MMAFighting.com

We’re just hours away from UFC 146, so it’s time to turn on FX and watch the preliminary card. This evening’s all heavyweight main card will kick off with the lighter guys, as Diego Brandao makes his first post-TUF appearance against Darren Elkins, Dan Hardy and Mayhem Miller fight for their careers against Duane Ludwig and C.B. Dollaway, and Edson Barboza takes on Jamie Varner in what may potentially be the squash match/upset of the year. Handling tonight’s liveblogging duties will be Seth Falvo, who will be frantically checking to see if his beloved Philadelphia 76ers can take Game Seven during commercial breaks. Come in after the jump for live play-by-play.

Unfortunately, last Tuesday’s UFC on FUEL: Zombie vs. Poirier card all but completely derailed our recent run of luck with the Gambling Enabler (aside from the decision to purchase some Bud Light Platinums to celebrate another beautiful McKenzietine bet), but hopefully this weekend’s UFC 146 event, which features an all heavyweight main card for the first time in UFC history will help get things back on track. So without further adieu, may we present to you the tasty betting lines, brought to you courtesy of BestFightOdds, along with our brilliant/equally insane advice below.

Main Card
Frank Mir (+425) vs. Junior dos Santos (-550)
Cain Velasquez (-400) vs. Antonio Silva (+325)
Roy Nelson (-225) vs. Dave Herman (+185)
Shane del Rosario (+135) vs. Stipe Miocic (-155)
Lavar Johnson (+105) vs. Stefan Struve (-125)

Preliminary Card (FX)
Diego Brandao (-265) vs. Darren Elkins (+205)
Edson Barboza (-550) vs. Jamie Varner (+425)
Jason Miller (-145) vs. C.B. Dollaway (+115)
Dan Hardy (-130) vs. Duane Ludwig (+100)

Preliminary Card (Facebook)
Paul Sass (+170) vs. Jacob Volkmann (-215)
Glover Teixeira (-240) vs. Kyle Kingsbury (+180)
Mike Brown (-160) vs. Daniel Pineda (+130)

Thoughts…

(No, no, not THAT kind of ultimate fighter.) 

Seven years. Fifteen seasons. The Ultimate Fighter has been a part of our lives for nearly a decade, ladies and gentlemen, and not only is it still going strong, but it has spread at the rate of your average zombie apocalypse. With the first international installment of the hit reality show already under way, TUF has seemingly evolved beyond its counterparts, transcending even that of the sport in it’s ability to excite, and often inspire its audience. Sure, the next season of Jersey Shore will feature a piss drunk pregnant woman and a possible probable cokehead and will therefore rule the ratings from here to eternity, but The Ultimate Fighter has something better to bring to the table than fabricated drama. Mainly, sweet ass knockouts.

Seven years of sweet ass knockouts, to be precise. That’s the entire length of Tommy Callahan’s college career.

With these knockouts, we’ve seen underdogs pull off upsets, loudmouths get their comeuppance, and the emergence of future superstars. So in honor of what has already been a KO-ridden season of TUF, we decided to watch every season back to back, and determine the BEST knockout from its respective season. Enjoy.

(Separated at birth??)

The UFC’s May 26th stop in Las Vegas — which will hopefully be headlined by Junior Dos Santos vs. Alistair Overeem — continues to pick up manpower.

In the heavyweight division, undefeated former Strikeforce contender Shane Del Rosario will make his UFC debut against the suddenly-not-retired Gabriel Gonzaga. Del Rosario’s 11-0 record includes 10 wins by first-round stoppage, but he hasn’t competed since his submission of Lavar Johnson a year ago. Meanwhile, Gonzaga just picked up his first win in the UFC since 2009 when he choked out Ednaldo Oliveira at UFC 142. Gonzaga’s last three UFC victories have come against Octagon first-timers, which might be a bad omen for Del Rosario.

(The folder is fist-posing too, in spirit. Props: @WandFC.)

With filming for The Ultimate Fighter: Brazil starting next month in an undisclosed location, you may be wondering: “And dennnnnn??” So here’s a rundown of what we know so far…

— The season will feature two weight classes, featherweight and middleweight. Each bracket will feature 16 fighters to start, and an elimination round will narrow the talent down to eight fighters in each division, who will then move into the TUF: Brazil house.

— The show will air locally on the Globo channel in Brazil on Sunday nights starting March 25th, and will also be aired on FUEL TV in the U.S.

What a couple of weeks it has been for the avid Jiu Jitsu fanatic. Diego Brandao scored a brilliant last second submission over Dennis Bermudez to walk away with a UFC contract and a down payment on his momma’s new house, Frank Mir added the most prized arm of all to his collection (a feeling that Mir would later refuse to go into detail about, but we imagine felt something like this), and Jon Jones used his Stretch Armstrong genetics to choke out a Jiu Jitsu black belt in Lyoto Machida with relative ease. And with each beautiful, gruesome, or eye opening technique that graces the octagon, Ryron and Rener are here to make sense of it all.

Today, the Gracie brothers touch on Tony Ferguson’s slick omaplata attempt from his unanimous decision victory over Yves Edwards at the TUF 14 Finale as well as Brandao’s glass plaque-earning effort before breaking down possibly the most shocking submission finish in MMA history, Frank Mir’s come from behind kimura over Antonio Rodrigo Nogueria that absolutely destroyed the Brazilian’s arm, a picture of which can be seen after the jump:

Tebowing: None of you are doing it right.

Another season of The Ultimate Fighter has come and gone, and we’re not certain what the future holds for it. The entire format of the show we knew and loved, then decided to ignore for a while, then were all like “Dude there’s no way Kimbo gets past Roy Nelson”, then went back to ignoring it when we were proven right, then decided “Well maybe Mayhem will be fun to watch” is about to change yet again. Raise your hand if you got lost during that last sentence.

If there’s one thing we understand at Cage Potato, it’s consistency. No matter how much the show changes, we’ll be around to give you our opinions on what to do with the finale’s biggest names. So let’s get to it, shall we?

Michael Bisping: Since losing to Wanderlei Silva back at UFC 110, Michael Bisping has gone 4-0 and established himself as a Top Ten Middleweight. Or at least that’s what I keep hearing, even though the guys he’s defeated in that time period have been on the lower to middle end of the middleweight division. In his post fight-interview with Ariel Helwani, Bisping hinted that his next fight has already been booked, and it’s against someone he hasn’t fought before. A fight against Alan Belcher makes sense, and should establish the winner as a legitimate contender in the middleweight division. Don’t act too surprised if the UFC uses Bisping as a litmus test for 7-0 (3-0 UFC) prospect Chris Weidman, either.

(Aw man, he’s a Mormon? We just assumed he was a *normal* insane Christian, like Diego Sanchez. / Props: MMAJunkie)

From what we hear, Brazilian real estate is a buyer’s market right now. That’s good news for Diego Brandao, who earned enough bonus money last night to get his beloved mother a decent ranch house near all the good favelas. The UFC handed out $40,000 performance bonuses to the following TUF 14 Finale competitors:

Fight of the Night: Diego Brandao and Dennis Bermudez for their dramatic one-rounder, in which odds-on favorite Brandao started strong, then nearly got TKO’d, then pulled an armbar directly out of his ass with nine seconds left in the round.

Knockout of the Night: John Dodson, for generating an incredible amount of torque from that tiny body and smashing TJ Dillashaw in under two minutes.

Submission of the Night: Diego Brandao again, for armbarring victory out of the jaws of defeat.

And as we mentioned in yesterday’s liveblog, $25,000 “Best of the Season” bonuses were also awarded to these TUF 14 Finale competitors…

(“You maaaad, you maaaaad, you maaaaad!” Photo via MMAMania)

Tonight, TUF as we know it comes to an end. Before us lies a shadowy, uncertain world of live fights aired on F/X on Friday nights and international spin-offs. But no matter what comes next, you can feel secure in the fact that we’ll still be complaining about the show just as much as we always have, because we know no other way to live.

Welcome, friends, to our liveblog of The Ultimate Fighter: Team Bisping vs. Team Miller Finale. On the menu this evening — Diego Brandao and Dennis Bermudez battle to decide the first featherweight TUF winner in UFC history, while John Dodson and TJ Dillashaw do the same for the bantamweights. Plus, heavy-handed TUF 13 winner Tony Ferguson steps up against seasoned vet Yves Edwards, and in the main event, Michael Bisping looks to remove the smirk off the face of his latest rival, Jason “Mayhem” Miller, who will be making his first Octagon appearance in over six years.

Round-by-round results from the TUF 14 Finale main card on Spike TV will be piling up after the jump beginning at 8 p.m. ET. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest.

(Brandao vs. Casteel @ Evolution 1, 10/30/10. Fight begins at the 1:58 mark and ends 40 seconds later. The ref is kind of a dick afterwards. Props: landsharkian)

As Johnny Bedford observed on Wednesday, TUF 14 featherweight finalist Diego Brandao is not unbeatable; in fact, he entered the reality show with a journeyman’s record of 13-7. But when he’s on his game, he’s as dangerous a fighter as you’ll ever see. Here’s a video from Brandao’s pre-UFC career, in which he starches Michael Casteel with a counter right hook within the first minute of their fight. It’s that kind of power that could give Dennis Bermudez serious headaches when they meet up at the finale show tomorrow night in Las Vegas. Was Michael Bisping right to predict future UFC stardom for the Madman from Manaus?

The Ultimate Fighter 14 Finale is just two days away, and though the bookies haven’t given us much to work with, we decided to throw y’all some last minute betting advice come fight night in case you plan on bluffing the piss out of Johnny Chan in the Palms Casino afterward. Check out the betting lines, courtesy of BestFightOdds, along with the almighty wisdom of the Great Potato, below.

Main Card (Spike TV)
Michael Bisping (-185) vs. Jason Miller (+160)
T.J. Dillashaw (-205) vs. John Dodson (+165)
Diego Brandao (-320) vs. Dennis Bermudez (+250)
Tony Ferguson (-255) vs. Yves Edwards (+205)

The Main Event: Let’s get right to it. Bisping has a lot of advantages going into this fight: he’s never been submitted, which is Miller’s bread and butter, he’s fought more in the past year, and he has considerably less pressure on him than Mayhem, who is out to prove to casual and hardcore fans alike that he is more than just a goofball TV personality. And we all know that Bisping will do anything, and I mean anything, to destroy those who slander him publicly, so Miller will most definitely be facing at a steep hill to climb for his first appearance in the octagon since 2005. But there are a couple crucial outside factors here. As Miller has stated, he is one hard headed son of a bitch, and despite what Bisping’s record says, have we ever seen him truly overwhelm an opponent as tough as Mayhem on the feet? You could argue Denis Kang, but I would respond to that argument with a pat on your head and a condescending chuckle.

(Gentlemen, please. You can *both* eat dicks. / GIF via IronForgesIron)

After a compact ten-episode run, Spike TV’s final season of The Ultimate Fighter ended last night. So what did we learn? Repeating short phrases over and over again gives them more rhetorical power. “Fufessional” is just another word for dumbass. Karma visits upon every asshole.

But before we put this sumbitch to bed, we have two more semi-final fights to get through. John “The Snitchin’ Magician” Dodson is training for his bantamweight face-off with teammate Johnny Bedford, while Bedford blatantly creeps on him the whole time. Coach Mayhem decides he won’t corner either man, leaving that responsibility up to the assistant coaches.

Says Dodson: “I only got taken down once, by Prince [John Albert], and I’m never going to get taken down again.” But taking Lil’ John down is, in fact, Bedford’s gameplan. And he doesn’t think Dodson has the power to hurt him. Dodson giggles and poses in the face-off after weigh-ins. Once again, we marvel at how small this man is, and how he should really be competing at 125, if such a division existed in the UFC. And once again, his size disadvantage probably won’t matter one damn bit.

(More proof that being on the right side of any photo immediately makes Bisping fall asleep. / Photo via CombatLifestyle)

While preparing for this Saturday’s TUF 14 Finale grudge match against Michael Bisping, Jason Miller recently wrote the following on his website:

“I just want everyone to understand how fricken hard I am training. I have never trained this hard or smart for a fight in my life. In ironic twist news- I’m totally getting reimbursed for John Dodson’s insubordination. I’m not even asking about Michael’s training, but for some reason all the friends that I’ve had for years that are working with him seem to be inclined to tell me about his camp and what he’s doing. I don’t want or need this info, I’m going to beat him regardless, just found it interesting. Pretty karmic.”

Hmm. Michael Bisping’s TUF 14 assistant coaches Tiki Ghosn and Rob McCullough train in the same Huntington Beach circles as Miller — could they be moles infiltrating the Brit’s camp in the name of American patriotism? Or is Mayhem just trying to get in the Count’s head? Bisping is convinced that it’s the latter, telling InsideMMA:

(Brandao vs. Siler. Fight starts at the 1:09 mark. Props: IronForgesIron)

After the fiasco that followed the Akira/Neace fight last week, Team Mayhem coach Ryan Parsons wants to give Michael Bisping a piece of his mind. “You’re the kind of guy that can’t keep his motherfucking mouth shut,” Parsons tells him. “Which is why you’re the most hated fighter in the UFC. I get it now.”

“I earn a lot more money than you, motherfucker,” Bisping says, clearly a 1%’er.

“Go spit on somebody,” Parsons says. And so on. Bisping feels that Team Miller should take their loss like men, and that Parsons should fuck off.

The next fight has already been announced as Diego Brandao (Bisping’s #1 featherweight) vs. Steven Siler (Miller’s #4). Siler thinks that people don’t believe in his skills, but Team Bisping isn’t taking him lightly, especially because Brandao’s cardio is a little lacking during practice. Still, Bisping is excited to see what the half-crazy Brazilian can do.

And awww, Jason Miller’s dog is at the weigh-ins.