(Props: MiddleEasy)

I’ll get this out of the way up front: I’m not exactly a fan of remakes. Attempting to improve something that most people think is fine as-is usually results in the creation of something indefensibly stupid (like that 2002 remake of Rollerball) that will make everyone feel terrible about themselves (like how anyone who paid to watch that 2002 remake of Rollerball felt). This is especially true when the people remaking something completely miss the point of what they’re remaking, and decide to take out all the parts with social commentary and replace them with explosions and sideboob (You get the point).

So I guess it goes without saying that when All Japan Pro Wrestling attempted to recreate Don Frye and Yoshihiro Takayama’s PRIDE 21 encounter during a professional wrestling match last Sunday, I wasn’t exactly a fan. The fact that it happened during a tag team match also featuring Masayuki Kono and Keiji Mutoh didn’t exactly help things for me. Two things before we go any further – yes, fellow wrestling nerds, Keiji Mutoh used to be The Great Muta and no, I didn’t know he was still alive, either.

Video awaits after the jump.

(Insert whatever version of a “Ground-n-Pound” sex joke you see fit here.)

When UFC Hall of Famer Mark Coleman stormed onto the mixed martial arts scene in 1996 following a storied college wrestling career and top 10 placing in the 1992 Summer Olympics, he brought with him an economic, workman style of fighting that would lead him to championship glory on his first night out. The event was the aptly-named UFC 10: The Tournament, and after beating the rights to the nickname “The Hammer” out of Moti Horenstein in his very first fight (an agreement that Moti never honored), Coleman would take out veteran Gary Goodridge and UFC 8 tournament winner Don Frye in back-to-back fights to claim the tournament championship. Coleman would repeat this feat in even more dominant fashion at UFC 11 and would unify the Heavyweight and Superfight Championships at UFC 12 the following year by choking out fellow scary wrestler Dan Severn. With the victory, Coleman’s legacy as one of the sport’s pioneers was all but written in the history books.

But Coleman didn’t stop there. Over the next 14 years, Coleman would not only popularize but would be dubbed “The Godfather” of the wrestling-based, “ground-n-pound” attack that would lead him to a PRIDE openweight championship in 2000 and a list of victories over the likes of Mauricio Rua, Stephan Bonnar, and Igor Vovchanchyn to name a few. But as all good things must come to an end, so must the legendary career of the now 48 year-old Coleman. Although he hasn’t fought since his 2010 submission loss to Randy Couture — a bout that would mark the first Hall of Famer vs. Hall of Famer fight in UFC history — Coleman has decided to officially announce his retirement from the sport as of yesterday. “The Hammer,” who is scheduled to undergo hip surgery next week (because that’s what old people do, amiright? *self-fives*), posted the following on his Facebook:

Total Hip replacement next Monday. Ouch.

The hammer is done fighting. I know been done. Just looking for some prayers.

i thank everyone who will help me get through this. Have to pay to play sometimes. Only regret is could have worked harder.

Love you all live your dream.

After the jump: A look back at some of Coleman’s greatest moments, as well as one of his worst.

(Buy it right here for $24.95)

Two months after the end of our 2012 CagePotato T-Shirt Design Contest, I finally decided to get off my ass this week and set up an official CagePotato merch page on RedBubble.com, so we can start selling the winning design to the Potato Nation. Known as the “Don Fryed,” this masterpiece by Ben Schmidt mashes up our spiritual godfather Don Frye and Mr. Potato Head. It’s currently available as a t-shirt or hoodie, baby onesie, iPhone/iPod case, and sticker. Pick one up, and prepare to get lots of confused looks!

Stay tuned, because we’ll be adding more designs to our store page in the future. In fact, here’s a standing offer — if you design an official CagePotato t-shirt and send it to us at tips@cagepotato.com, we’ll pay you $100 if we end up selling it. Just remember: It has to include our logo (see links below), and it has to be really, really good. Please, no Tater Williams.

- CagePotato logos white/black (PDF)
- CagePotato white logo (lo-res jpeg)

Previously:
Heads Up: CagePotato Fightin’ Dudes T-Shirt Available Now!
Introducing the CagePotato.com ‘MMA Hairstyles’ T-Shirt!

(Don Frye is holding a revolver. Your argument is invalid.) 

These days, Don Frye is less an MMA fighter, more a philosophizer on facial hair, poontang, and the keys to being an alpha male in every given situation that life presents. Don’t get us wrong, Frye will still lay the boots to any hooley-hoo punk-ass jabroni who’s asking for it at the drop of a hat, but thanks to our recent “Ask Don” mailbag column, we’ve been lucky enough to set Frye’s legendary MMA status aside and simply pry into his mind in the hopes that maybe some of it will rub off on our measly, pathetic lives. So check out his latest dose of sagacity below, make sure to leave your own questions in the comments section, and then visit DonFrye.com to buy some stuff that will instantly skyrocket your popularity with the ladies.

bgoldstein asks: Don, I heard you were doing some stunt-work recently for a movie. Like, you weren’t in the movie, you were just stunt-manning for some other actor. The fuck is up with that?

I enjoy stunt work. I am paid extra by the theatrical community to do the stunt work instead of acting work. Due to my extraordinary talent, all would forget about Brando, Olivier, and DeNiro when I am performing dialogue and emotions in front of the camera. Can you imagine Don Frye performing emotions in front of the camera? (Ed note: No. No I can not.) 

(“Oh, the coat? Funny story. So there I was, robbing Steven Seagal at gunpoint…”)

After sifting through your brilliant questions — and your idiotic ones — MMA legend Don Frye has graced us with the first installment of his mailbag column on CagePotato. Read his wisdom below, and please lay down your own questions in the comments section. If he answers your question in a future column…well, you won’t be getting a prize or anything, but it’ll be the closest you come to greatness. Enjoy, and visit DonFrye.com for all your Don Frye needs.

danomite asks: Where the hell did you get those American flag trunks?
My mother-in-law made them and it was so exhausting that she had to retire from the fight shorts making business. The shorts were made from the flag Teddy Roosevelt waved charging up San Juan Hill. The flag was a gift to her personally because she was the horse that carried him.

johnny6pack asks: The eye gouge you suffered against Gilbert Yvel was the worst one this side of Kevin Burns getting his retina ripped out by Anthony Johnson. [Ed. note: You got that one backwards, but okay.] Good on ya for keepin’ on with the fight. Did you ever try to get a rematch to kick his sorry cheatin’ ass? Also, how bad was the injury post-fight?
There was never a rematch. The eyes healed in a matter of a few days, as eyes heal quickly, mine just heal faster than anybody else. I was back in the strip club hours later rehabbing my eyes.

(Right back atcha, buddy!)

CagePotato.com — the site that brought you “Ask Gary,” “Ask Dan,” and “Ask Carmen” — is pleased to announce our next celebrity correspondent. We’ve secured the talents of legendary MMA brawler/actor/commentator/relationship counselor Don Frye for a weekly interview series that will begin later this month. And we’re going to try* it a little different this time; instead of a written mailbag column, we’re going to organize an interactive video podcast where you can ask Don questions yourself, face to face.

But first, let’s seed this little garden with some questions to start off with. If you have anything you’d like to ask Don, please toss your questions in the comments section below. From his early UFC career, to his classic battles in Japan, to his beef with Dana White, to his alleged sexual assault of Rob Schneider, nothing is off limits. Thanks so much, and brace yourselves. More details about our Ask Don broadcasts will arrive next week. In the meantime, follow check out Don’s official web site, thepredatordonfrye.com.

* Pending our own technological capabilities. I mean, you remember how shaky this kind of thing was last time.

(Little known fact: The original version of America the Beautiful contained a fifth verse about Don Frye’s shorts.)

In honor of our country’s 236th birthday, we’ve got a special CagePotato Roundtable discussion for you guys: Who was the greatest American MMA fighter of all time? Because let’s face it, America is exceptional, and we produce the best goddamned fighters in the world. SORRY LIBERAL MEDIA, I SAID IT. Enjoy, and if you have an idea for a future Roundtable topic, please send it to tips@cagepotato.com. And hey, be careful with those bottle rockets, okay?

Ben Goldstein
 

What do MMA legends Chuck Liddell, Matt Hughes, Tito Ortiz, Kazushi Sakuraba, Wanderlei Silva, Randy Couture, and Mark Coleman have in common? They all started their careers within 11 months of Dan Henderson‘s professional debut in June 1997. And where are those guys now? Retired, pretty much retired, retiring this weekend, completely washed up, close to retirement, retired, and retired unless Herschel Walker picks up the phone. Meanwhile, Hendo is preparing for his next title fight in September. Does the TRT help? Sure, though I don’t think you can credit Henderson’s heart, balls, and H-bomb power to a little hormonal help. (You also have to give some props to the Jam Gym.)

I’d stack Dan’s accomplishments up against any other fighter in this roundtable discussion — the unprecedented two-division title reign in PRIDE, the five single-night tournament sweeps, the stunning knockouts of Wanderlei Silva, Michael Bisping, and Fedor Emelianenko — but what makes him America’s MMA G.O.A.T. is his incredible longevity. Dan Henderson has been a top-ten fighter longer than anybody else in the history of the sport. I can only think of two other MMA fighters who started their careers 15 years ago who are still considered viable stars, and neither of them are American: Vitor Belfort, whose career was plagued by long stretches of injury and inconsistency, and Anderson Silva, who’s a freakish exception to any rule.

(Fact: Don Frye charged each of these women a ZJ for this photo.)

For all the “creative” insults and red-blooded rants Chael Sonnen is able to come up with out of the blue, he will never hold a candle to the crass, old timey anecdotes of Don Frye. The man has more bravado than a Sherman tank full of other Sherman tanks, more wisdom than a Tibetan monk achieving Buddhahood, and would fight his own mother in your basement for a shot of Jack Daniels if you asked him correctly. He makes the Brawny man look like a metrosexual, and orders grilled bison when your mother takes him to that hip new Vegan restaurant in town. Matter of fact, Frye’s masculinity has grown so powerful that it even manifested itself in the greatest television character of all time: Ron fucking Swanson.

So you wouldn’t be surprised to learn that, during a recent interview with Sherdog’s “Savage Dog Show,” Frye was unrelenting in his mockery of everyone from Dana White to Brock Lesnar, unleashing a hellstorm of one liners that will surely make you feel like less of a man for not even having the gonads to dream them up.

First, let’s start with Frye’s assessment of the current UFC fighter pay scale:

Oh my God, it’s a crime. It’s a crime. You see some of these guys only getting two or three or six thousand dollars and you’ve got Dana bragging about having 30 Ferraris. Come on. You have a sponsor and he charges a sponsor what, a hundred and fifty grand to have your stuff on the fighter? That’s money he’s stealing from the fighter. Then he goes and he pays them two or three thousand dollars. That’s crazy.

Join us after the jump for more from the interview. Don’t worry, it only gets better.

(Props: sitthongsai via CP reader Andrew W.)

On Sunday, 46-year-old MMA old-schooler Don Frye competed at a Gladiator Challenge event in Lincoln, California, making his first cage appearance since a one-minute TKO loss to Dave Herman in 2009. This one lasted a little longer, but ended the same way, with Don eating punches until he fell over. Poor Don.

Frye was originally supposed to face Mike Gonzales, but ended up throwing leather with journeyman Ruben “Warpath” Villareal; Frye and Warpath had previously fought to a draw at a King of the Cage event back in 2006. Villareal didn’t leave it to the judges this time, KO’ing Frye about two-and-a-half minutes into the fight. The win snapped a five-fight losing streak for Warpath, and earned him the Gladiator Challenge light-heavyweight title.

Once again, our boy ZombieProphet over at IronForgesIron has come through with an awesome bit off MMA related goodness to help your work day along. Today, we have the musings of Mustache King, life advice expert, and former UFC fighter Don Frye from yesterday’s Halloween themed episode of Inside MMA.

Donning the most appropriate Halloween costume imaginable in Magnum P.I., Frye provided us with more gems in a minute than most of us can come up with in a lifetime:

(You can make fun of your opponent’s voice, and you can trash his fighting style. But mock a man’s sideburns, and you’re asking for the worst beating of your life.)

Start sharpening your razors, folks: We’re just eight days away from the official start of Movember! To help get you in the moustache-growing spirit, we’ve put together a photo gallery of our favorite facial hair arrangements in MMA history, which you can check out after the jump.

It’s good to be back.

After days of anticipation, Ask the Potato is finally back and as credible as ever. The deepest thinkers among us have emerged with a series of questions- some of which even came in the form of complete sentences, with question marks and everything. The rest of you? Well, you at least tried to have a coherent thought, right? And even though the thought doesn’t count, you’re still special to us. So, without further delay, the triumphant return of Ask the Potato awaits after the jump.

CagePotatos Cage Cameo Contest – Watch MoreFunny Videos

We had several entries in what was likely our toughest contest to date. As always, you guys showed that you’re passionate fans of our site and the sport — either that or you just like free stuff.

Anyway,  before we get into announcing who the winner is, here are the official correct answers:

1. Don Frye in “Big Stan” (2007)

2. Acclaimed coach Shawn Tompkins (hitting the bag), Frank “Johnny Cage” Colcher and Trevor “Hollywood” Harris (both sparring in ring) in “Sons of Anarchy” (2010)

3. UFC 1 tooth loser Teila Tuli AKA Taylor Wily in “Forgetting “Sarah Marshall” (2008)

4. Maurice Smith (the fatherless bastard) in “Miami Connection” (1987)

5. Cage Potato reporter molester Quinton “Rampage” Jackson in “The Midnight Meat Train” (2008)

6. UFC founder Rorian Gracie (Mexican restaurant maitre d’) in “Hart to Hart” 1983

7. Cunning linguist Tito Ortiz in “The Crow: Wicked Prayer” (2005)

8. Rapist and murderer Joe Son (fighting Bolo Yeung) and Mike Bernardo (cornerman shouting encouragement to Yeung) in Shootfighter 2 (1996)

9. MMA legend and all around good guy (unless you accost his wife in a bar) Bas Rutten  in Zookeeper (2011)

10. MMA trainer extraordinaire Steven Seagal, Randy Couture (answers door and gets KO’d by Seagal) and Karo Parisyan (thug number two that Seagal KOs) in “Today You Die” (2005)

11. UFC Hall-of-Famer Ken Shamrock in “That 70′s Show” (1999)

12. Raving lunatic Harold Howard (wild-eyed murderous gladiator) in “Gladiator Cop” (1995)

13. Rickson Gracie in “The Incredible Hulk” (2008)

14.Stephen Quadros (dude with the animated facial expressions) in “Demon Wind” (1990)

15. Patrick Smith’s first UFC 2 victim Ray Wizard (gang leader) in “The Master” AKA “Long Xing Tian Xia” (1992)

16. Joe Rogan in “Zookeeper” (2011

17. Chuck Liddell (Boy Scout catching orange) in “The Postman Always Rings Twice” (1981)

(The sad part is, they both think they’re the cute one.)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

- UFC 129 Moved Up One Hour to 9 p.m. ET; Change to All PPV Start Times Being Considered (MMA Fighting)

- Exclusive Interview With UFC Fight Night 24′s Phil ‘Mr. Wonderful’ Davis (BleacherReport.com/MMA)

- Chad Ochocinco Continues to Call Out Anderson Silva (Versus MMA Beat)

- Strikeforce ‘Feijao vs. Henderson’ Ratings Down 44% From ‘Fedor vs. Silva’, Bellator Delivers Target Demos In MTV2 Debut (MMA Convert)

- A Memo to Strikeforce: Fighters Need To Fight (Five Ounces of Pain)

- UFC Inks Four-Year Broadcast Deal with Rogers Sportsnet in Canada (5thRound)

- Brendan Schaub: I’m Two Fights Away From a Title Shot (LowKick)

- Don Frye and Shark Fights Have Parted Ways (MiddleEasy)

- Watch the Wrestling Chops of this 8-Year-Old and Hope the Parents are Enrolling Him in MMA in the Near Future (MMA-Scraps)

- FIGHT! Ranking: Hendo Is #2, M-1 Global Champs Hold Ground, Bellator Welterweights Pick Each Other Off (FightMagazine)

(Video courtesy YouTube/UFC.com)

- KahLOne presents: Legend of Dragon and Tiger (thegarv)

– 7 celebrity TSA body scans (holytaco)

– Penn changing things up with new coaches for UFC 123 (mmafighting)

– What her Facebook photos say about her (mademan)

– Joe Lauzon seems really concerned about Sotiropoulos’ legwear (fightersonly)

– New Green Hornet trailer busts out Kato-Vision (screenjunkies)

– Like Velasquez, Swick won’t commit to picking Koscheck to beat GSP (Tatame)

– Martha Higareda gallery (tuvez)

– Yankees to offer Jeter more than fair (scoresreport)

– Forrest Griffin & Michigan football (youtube)

– Don Frye calls Brock an embarrassment (hurtsbad)

– Machida’s brother weighs in on Rampage match-up (gustavoblat)

– Yesterday’s episode of MMA Live (espn)

(Images courtesy of Esther Lin/Shark Fights, Victory Belt)

Thanks to everybody who entered this week’s caption contest — even those of you who referred to "General Custer" as "General Custard." After sifting through 280 of your entries, we’ve pulled out the two that we think are most worthy of winning a signed copy of Jackson’s Mixed Martial Arts: The Ground Game, in stores now. As usual, there are a bunch of captions that were almost good enough. Let’s take a look at those first… 

A year after the release of their essential MMA striking-and-strategy manual The Stand Up Game, Greg Jackson and Kelly Crigger have teamed up again for Jackson’s Mixed Martial Arts: The Ground Game, a brand-new primer on ground fighting that was released on Friday. The book breaks down all the common grappling positions found in MMA (as well as Greg’s own cage-proven variations), helpfully illustrated with full-color photos, and even includes a section on nutrition contributed by P.R. Cole.  You can currently purchase the book for the bargain price of $23.07 on Amazon — or, you can win one of the two signed copies we have in our possession. You’re damn right it’s time for a caption contest.

After the jump, you’ll find a photo of Shark Fights off-color-man Don Frye sampling some of Amarillo’s local flavor. Come up with a clever caption and post it in the comments section below by Thursday morning at 8 a.m. ET. We’ll choose our two favorites and post the winners later that day. Good luck, folks. And thanks to Victory Belt for making this possible!

(Alexander vs. Sokoudjou, where it appears the referee briefly considers letting Soko get beaten to death before finally stepping in to stop the fight. VidProps: ZombieProphetMMA)

Early reviews of last night’s Shark Fights 13 broadcast seem mostly positive, after Trevor Prangley, Houston Alexander and Paul Daley all notched wins. Also, “broadcasters” Don Frye and Bas Rutten said a bunch of crazy stuff live on pay-per-view. Especially Frye, who — after claiming that he threatened Shark Fights promoters with death if they didn’t put him on the show — reportedly dropped at least one F-bomb, made jokes about beating his wife and then compared the whole thing to an extended session of violent and satisfying coitus.

Basically, it was the kind of performance that, in any other sport, would cause a major scandal, Frye’s immediate firing and the issuing of a vague and halfhearted apology on Sunday morning. In independent MMA, it’s just par for the course.

"That was like two hours of hard, rough sex,” Frye reportedly said to close out the PPV. “I need a shot of tequila and a cigarette now."

C’mon Don, like you weren’t doing shots of tequila the whole time.

(We know that expression. Looks like somebody needs a James Toney upset to hit their $42,500 parlay bet. Check out more exclusive photos at FightMagazine.com’s UFC 118 photo gallery.)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

– After Perfect Performance at UFC 118, More Tests Await Edgar (Versus MMA Beat)

– Kenny Florian Says Dana White Is ‘Dead Wrong’ About Him ‘Choking In Big Fights’ (MMA Convert)

- Wanderlei Silva Recovering, Hoping for February Return vs. Leben or Belfort (MMA Fighting)

– Roger Huerta vs. Eddie Alvarez set for non-title fight at Bellator 33 (Heavy.com/MMA)

– Mark "The Smashing Machine" Kerr now sells cars in Scottsdale, Arizona. (MiddleEasy)

– Fan Opinon: Top 10 Personalities in MMA (LowKick)

– Tito Ortiz and Shaquille O’Neal face off at the UFC Fan Expo in Boston (Watch Kalib Run)

– Brett Rogers to Return Against Ruben "Warpath" Villareal Next Month in Halifax (Five Ounces of Pain)

– If Don Frye Says You Should Watch Shark Fights, You Should (MMA Scraps)

(UFC 9, "Motor City Madness," 5/17/96)

Just for the hell of it, join us as we jump in our MMA time machine and travel back to an era when gloves (and wrestling shoes) were optional in the UFC, and grabbing everything from the fence to the shorts and knee pads of your opponent was hardly even discouraged, much less outlawed. This was an exciting showdown between UFC 8 tournament winner Don Frye and Amaury Bitetti, the self-proclaimed “jiu-jitsu fighter of the world.”

Things that are awesome in this video, in chronological order:

1:45: A fresh-faced young Frye clearly reads off a script as he explains that he’s returning to defend his title, adding (after looking off-screen at a cue card), “There can be only one.”

2:35: Bitetti, who at 5’9” and 185 pounds would be a middleweight by today’s standards, is introduced as having a record of 150-1.

(Wait a minute, Brian Bowles was hanging out with Don Frye last night? I hope it’s not too late to change my FightPicker bet, because there’s no way Bowles wasn’t hung over and short one kidney this morning. Photo courtesy of the WEC 47: After the Weigh Ins gallery on CombatLifestyle.com.)

WEC 47 kicks off on Versus at 10 p.m. ET, featuring the bantamweight title fight between Brian Bowles and Dominick Cruz, plus Miguel Torres vs. Joseph Benavidez and Jens Pulver vs. Javier Vazquez. Follow us on Twitter tonight for updates, and let us know how you’re feelin’ in the comment thread below. Okay? Let’s have some fun tonight…

(Skip to the 3:15 mark to hear Coleman’s thoughts on the rule changes in MMA that forced him to "learn a lot of other skills.")

Those of you who became MMA fans somewhere between "Iron Ring" and “Bully Beatdown” might not realize this, but there was a time when Mark Coleman was a holy terror as a fighter. We know, he didn’t look like it against Randy Couture at UFC 109, but give the guy a break. He’s 45 years-old and has been using his body (and sometimes his head) as a weapon to hurt other men since 1996. That stuff is bound to take a toll on you, which is why Couture is the exception and not the rule.

After his loss on Saturday night it now seems like Coleman is done, or at least done in the UFC.  At the very real risk of eulogizing Coleman’s career too soon, as we did with Mirko “Cro Cop” Filipovic’s – Christ, doesn’t anyone quit this sport when they should? – we’d like to pay tribute to the monster Coleman used to be by looking back at some of his finest MMA moments.

(Props: SinisterGi.com)

Remember when Toby Imada pulled off that awesome inverted triangle choke in the Bellator tournament last year?  Of course you do.  Your brain isn’t so clogged with Snickers bars and "Golden Girls" reruns that you could go and forget a thing like that.  It was by far the best submission of the year.  Now that we’ve moved on to a new year and Imada no longer has to worry about all you jokers biting his style, he’s going to go ahead and show you how it’s done.  Forget about Blanche and Sophia and the gang for just a few minutes and pay attention.

After the jump, check out round two of Matt Serra‘s video blog, and listen as Don Frye shares a very special memory from the Pride days, just for the hell of it.

(Goodridge vs. Frye, Pride Shockwave, 12/31/03)

So you watched Gary Goodridge’s poor showing against Gegard Mousasi on New Year’s Eve and thought to yourself, why do they keep bringing this guy back?  The answer is a) he’ll fight just about anybody with a few hours notice, and b) there was a time when he thrilled the Japanese fans with his standing and banging.  His final fight in Pride against legendary hard-ass and recent retiree Don Frye was just one such time. 

It was only six years ago, and yet it feels like another lifetime.  All those young bucks who felt like they were on top of the world with their New Year’s Eve victories at Dynamite!! might want to take note.  The good times are good, but they do not last.

("Waaaaaaaaahhhhh!")

Judging from his TUF 10 wins over Mike Wessel and Darrill Schoonover, and subsequent losses to Brendan Schaub and Matt Mitrione, Marcus "Big Baby Darkness" Jones looked like he was halfway to being a serious heavyweight threat. He had the size, power, and ground game, but his boxing skills and chin left a lot to be desired. Despite his late start in MMA, we figured Jones would return to American Top Team, shore up his striking, and return stronger than ever — especially since he always seemed very passionate about the sport. But according to Around the Octagon, there’s been a change of plans:

(No Don, there is not going to be free tequila at this film festival. And no, we are not shitting you about that.)

There are two types of old school MMA legends: the ones who will gladly tell you how much better the sport and its athletes are now than they were ten years ago, and the ones who will insist that the fighters of today are all a bunch of gutless pussies. Don Frye is in the latter camp. He frequently says that he doesn’t watch the UFC or even follow the sport in general with much interest, and yet he also seems certain that the kids these days are a bunch of punks who spend more time styling their hair than beating people up. It’s sort of like how your grandfather can manage to hate gays and people of other ethnicities despite not personally knowing anyone from either demographic. Some gifts just come with age.

But now the UFC may have finally put together a fight that interests Frye. Talking with The Rumble this week, “The Predator” admitted that even he can’t pass up the chance to see Mark Coleman and Randy Couture go at it in the main event of UFC 109:

"This might be the first UFC I buy and actually watch in about 10 years, you know?" Frye said. "These two guys, it’s going to be one hell of a barnburner. They’re going to show these new guys how to fight."

(Murilo "Ninja" Rua wrecks Alex "The Brazilian Killa" Stiebling in 39 seconds. Fight starts at the 0:22 mark. Props to TheGarv. More videos to come…)

BITETTI COMBAT: NORDESTE 4 (9/12; Rio de Janeiro, Brazil)
– Ricardo Arona def. Marvin Eastman via unanimous decision
– Paulo Filho def. Alex Schoenauer via unanimous decision
– Pedro Rizzo def. Jeff Monson via unanimous decision
– Murilo “Ninja” Rua def. Alex Stiebling via KO, 0:39 of round 1
– Milton Viera def. Luciano Azavedo via split decision
– Fabio Maldonado def. Vitor Miranda via unanimous decision
– Glover Texeira def. Leonardo Nascimento via submission (guillotine choke), 3:18 of round 1
– Luis Dutra Jr. def. Henrique Nogueira via TKO, round 1
– Cassiano Tytschyo def. Fausto Black via submission (guillotine choke), round 1
– Alexandre Pimentel def. Luciano “Izzy” Correa via unanimous decision

(Don Frye doesn’t offer mustache rides. He merely takes applications and approves or denies them based on merit, need, and whether or not you are a gross fat chick.)

As much as we’ve been enjoying all the back and forth about who will and who won’t fight Fedor next weekend, it just seemed as though it hadn’t gotten quite absurd enough yet.  And then Don Frye chimed in:

"If Tom (Atencio) was smart, he’d have me fighting Fedor instead of whoever he’s hiring on a one week notice.  My phone works if he wants a real fight with someone who sell a fight in four days, somebody who will beat that bald-headed commie too. …He ain’t seen anything I have to offer.  He built his whole reputation (as a) waffle house chef. They’ve been serving him up ham and eggs with a side of canned tomatoes. I’ll bring it. And if he can bring it, you’ll have the best fight you’ve ever seen on the planet."

I’m sorry, bald-headed commie?  Waffle house chef?  Best fight you’ve ever seen on the planet?  And that’s just off the top of his head, people.  Imagine what he could do with a week to prepare some material and really build momentum.

(You know, Cub, in bull riding this would have been considered a victory. Photo courtesy of Newsday.)

— According to an interview on intheguard.tv, WEC featherweight/human highlight-reel Jose Aldo says he’ll be getting a much-deserved shot at Mike Brown‘s belt at WEC 45 (November 11th, location TBA). Aldo has racked up five consecutive TKO/KO victories during his stint in the WEC, most recently slicing Cub Swanson’s head wide open in 8 seconds at WEC 41 last month. Brown made his second successful title-defense at the same event, out-pointing Urijah Faber in a classic five-rounder to pick up his tenth straight win. 

— With Strikeforce middleweight champ Cung Le out of action due to a blossoming acting career, Scott Coker has announced that Jake Shields will fight for the organization’s interim middleweight title in October; the exact date, location, and Shields’s opponent will all be announced later. Shields has long been known as one of the best welterweights in the world, but his first-round choke-out of Robbie Lawler last month proved that he could be very competitive at a higher weight. Plus, his homey’s already got the welterweight division on lock…

(Props: Fightlinker)

At long last, we present the video of Wednesday’s grappling exhibition between Fedor Emelianenko and Shinya Aoki at DEEP/M-1 Challenge 3rd Edition. As you’ll see, the whole thing was really just a good-natured joke, with both fighters putting on a display that was more slapstick than combat. (But man do Emelianenko’s throws look smooth when they’re done with a 160-pound training dummy.) Fun stuff. Now let’s see the UFC do this with Lesnar and Penn…