(“I am not impress wit my performance” – Photo by Esther Lin for MMAFighting)

By Ryan Harkness

Schadenfreude is the German word for taking pleasure from the misfortune of others, and aside from scheisseporn it’s pretty much the best word to come out of Germany untranslated. The German fußball team gave us some textbook definition schadenfreude action when they crushed Brazil 7-1 in the World Cup earlier this week, and everyone on the internet delighted in watching the host nation weep like little bitches during the meltdown.

Evil pleasure aside, there’s something fascinating about seeing another human wallowing in sadness. And outside of a choking team’s arena or third world country, I’d argue there’s no better place to stare sadness in the face than at a UFC post-fight press conference.

While most of the defeated fighters on a card get to skip the conference and ruminate on their losses in private, the loser of the main event is expected to show up and answer sharp questions from our crack MMA media like “How do you feel right now?” and “What is next now that you’ve failed?”

The look on their faces as they struggle to answer will hit you right in the feels. Or trigger dat schadenfreude if you’re a dick. Since I am definitely a dick, allow me to be your sadness sommelier on this tour through the saddest sadfaces at UFC post-fight press conferences…

(Henderson and Cerrone clash for the first time at WEC 43. Photo via Getty.)

Throwback Thursday is a new recurring column that pays tribute to the stars of an upcoming UFC event by taking a look back at some of their earliest defining moments. For our second edition, we focus on Ben Henderson’s last fight to end in a finish ahead of his Fight Night 42 main event clash with Rustam Khabilov this weekend. 

Contrary to what he might tell you, former lightweight champion Ben Henderson does not actually finish fights. At least, not since making the leap from the WEC to the UFC back in April of 2010. Prior to his 9 fight, 8 decision run in the UFC, however, Henderson was a finishing machine, picking up submission victories over the likes of Jamie Varner and Anthony Njokuani and even a quick TKO over Shane Roller while making his name under the WEC banner.

His final finish (and final victory) in the WEC came at the now legendary WEC 48 over rival Donald “Go Get Some” Cer-ron-eyyy.

This might be hard to believe, but back at WEC 43, Henderson actually captured the promotion’s interim lightweight championship via a controversial unanimous decision over Cerrone (pictured above) that both fans and many media members felt should have gone the other way. I know right? Crazy times, those were.

Anyway, Cerrone would score a third round rear-naked choke over Ed Ratcliff in his rebound fight at WEC 45, and Henderson would unify the belts with a third round sub of his own over Jamie Varner at WEC 46, thusly setting up the epic rematch that fans had been begging for at WEC 48. You hear that, Jon Jones? THAT IS HOW IT’S SUPPOSED TO WORK.

Join us as we look back at Henderson vs. Cerrone 2, complete with a full fight video, after the jump. 

(Budweiser vs. Bass Pro Shops: A battle for the soul of America.)

Fresh off of their fantastic wins last month, lightweight crowd-pleasers Donald Cerrone and Jim Miller have been booked to face each other in the main event of UFC Fight Night 45, which goes down July 16th at the Revel Casino Hotel in Atlantic City. The match will be scheduled for five rounds, and will air on FOX Sports 1.

“Cowboy” has put together three consecutive stoppage victories since his decision loss to Rafael Dos Anjos last August, and most recently choked out Edson Barboza in the first round of their fight at UFC on FOX 11, picking up yet another performance bonus for his efforts. A week later, Miller scored his own first-round submission against Yancy Medeiros at UFC 172. The win gave Miller his 13th UFC victory, which ties him with Gleison Tubau for the most wins in the UFC lightweight division.

Every Donald Cerrone fight is a guaranteed show-stopper, but putting him against Miller is particularly inspired matchmaking. Not only is Miller a New Jersey native, he’s also one of the nastiest 155′ers in the world when he’s on his game (as he has been lately). At this point, the only other fight that’s been reported for the 7/16 event is a bantamweight match between Aljamian Sterling and Hugo Viana. We’ll keep you posted as the card fills up.

(Fabricio Werdum vs. Travis Browne highlights. All vids via YouTube.com/FOXSports)

(Donald Cerrone vs. Edson Barboza highlights)

In case you missed it on Saturday night, here are some video highlights from the UFC on FOX 11 main card, featuring Fabricio Werdum’s unexpected standup-thrashing of Travis Browne, and Donald Cerrone’s comeback submission victory over Edson Barboza. A couple of important notes…

- Cerrone picked up a $50,000 Performance of the Night bonus for his win over Barboza; Cowboy has now bonus’d in three consecutive fights. All the other UFC on FOX 11 bonuses went to prelim fighters. Thiago Alves and Seth Baczynski won Fight of the Night for their three-rounder which Alves won by unanimous decision, and Performance of the Night #2 went to UFC newcomer Alex White — who was previously involved in the ugliest late-stoppage in MMA history — for his first-round TKO of Estevan Payan.

- At the post-event press conference, Dana White mentioned that Travis Browne suffered a broken hand and possibly broken rib during his fight against Werdum, and Browne’s wrestling coach Ricky Lundell released an x-ray of Hapa’s broken hand after the fight. For some reason, the official UFC on FOX 11 medical suspensions list mentions a broken nose for Browne but not a broken hand. Whatever. The point is, he got pretty messed up.

After the jump: Highlights from Miesha Tate vs. Liz Carmouche and Yoel Romero vs. Brad Tavares. Plus, Dana White (mostly) praises Werdum’s performance in the main event while burying Browne for gassing out early, and Shaquille O’Neal eats a napkin for some reason.

(Fabricio Werdum: Nice guy before the fight, total son-of-a-bitch during the fight. / Photo by Esther Lin for MMAFighting)

UFC on FOX 11 is underway at the Amway Center in Orlando, headlined by a heavyweight bout between crafty Brazilian veteran Fabricio Werdum and bearded knockout machine Travis Browne. (Winner gets a free trip to Mexico!) Plus: Donald Cerrone vs. Edson Barboza in a guaranteed barnburner at lightweight, and a compelling middeweight matchup between the streaking Brad Tavares and cannonball-like Cuban wrestler Yoel Romero. It’s stacked, free, and arranged for maximum entertainment value.*

After a long hiatus, liveblogger-supreme Anthony Gannon has returned to handle round-by-round results for the FOX main card of “Werdum vs. Browne,” which you can find after the jump beginning at 8 p.m. ET / 5 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest updates, and shoot us your thoughts in the comments section or on twitter @cagepotatomma.

* Except for the Miesha Tate vs. Liz Carmouche fight, which could be decent, I guess, but I still don’t see how it made the main card lineup over Khabib Nurmagomedov vs. Rafael Dos Anjos. I mean, come on. Seriously? The ladies have a collective UFC record of 1-4. Meanwhile, Dos Anjos has won five straight, and Nurmy is 21-0 overall, not including unsanctioned youth fights against half-sedated bear cubs.

(Bitches be like “#nomakeup #nofilter” / Photo via @cowboycerrone)

Fresh off his latest Knockout of the Night performance against Adriano Martins at UFC on FOX 10, Donald Cerrone will be back on network television two months from now when he faces Edson Barboza at UFC on FOX 11: Browne vs. Werdum (April 19th, Orlando). The lightweight bout was confirmed by FOX Sports yesterday.

Known for his savage kicks — of both the leg and wheel varieties — Barboza went on a 3-0 run in 2013, culminating with a comeback decision win against Danny Castillo at UFC on FOX 9, which won him Fight of the Night honors. Cerrone and Barboza are unquestionably two of the most entertaining fighters in the lightweight division, but aren’t currently “in the mix” when it comes to title shot consideration. An impressive win for either fighter could change that. Your predictions, please.

In a related story, Khabib Nurmagomedov has tweeted out a frowny face.

(Adriano Martins’s kick-face: Ugly, but fantastic. / Screen-shot via CP reader 5knuckleshuffle)

By Mark Dorsey

It’s starting to become a tradition to bring the UFC to Chicago in January, and this time it was particularly cold in the Windy City for UFC on FOX 10. While the preliminary fights provided a lot of excitement, the main card was dragged down by some dull moments. Nevertheless, there’s still quite a lot of stuff to talk about so join us for a final look back at the event with a Clint Eastwood-esque squinty-eyed glare.

The Good

• UFC on FOX Production. At this point, the production of the UFC on FOX series is crisp, well-paced, and truly hitting its stride. The broadcast-introduction they’ve been doing with Ving Rhames narrating the story of the main event fighters while suspenseful music plays in the background was intense, as always. (It kicks the ass of the nu-metal “Bring the Pain” intro from the UFC pay-per-views, at least). Hopefully they keep Marsellus Wallace around.

The Fox analyst crew also did a great job, adding even more professionalism to the proceedings. The enthusiastic Daniel Cormier sounded like a seasoned pro joking about gumbo and jambalaya next to old staples Brian Stann and Curt Menefee. The only drawback about the analysts was that they weren’t used enough. The more time they spend breaking down the fights and analyzing the fighters’ skill-sets, the better. In fact, I’d love to see the broadcast kick back to the desk in between every fight, which would help new fans get more familiar with the fighters and wrap their heads around what they just saw.

• Cowboy. Donald Cerrone‘s performance was one of the few highlights in an otherwise lackluster main card. Joe Rogan and Mike Goldberg were doing their best to hype Adriano Martins as a worthy opponent, but despite the fact that Martins looked pretty good for a guy Cowboy had never heard of, Cerrone completely out-classed him. Cerrone was patient, picking his shots in the first round until he finally caught Martins with his hands down and landed a knockout shin kick to the head.

After the KO, Cerrone could have landed another shot to his unconscious opponent but to his credit he held back and didn’t follow up with an unnecessary punch. In fact, his calmness after the fight was chilling. The old adage in football when you score a touchdown is to act like you’ve been there before; that’s exactly what Cerrone did, looking like a stone-cold killer.

(Advantage: Clownboy. / Photo by Esther Lin for MMAFighting.com)

Donald Cerrone‘s appearance at UFC on FOX 10 on Saturday night couldn’t have gone any better: He destroyed Adriano Martins in the first round of their main card fight, picked up another $50,000 Knockout of the Night bonus for his efforts — which is already gone like a fart in the wind, unfortunately — and got a chance to publicly respond to Cole Miller’s semi-awkward challenge of him earlier this month. Here’s what Cerrone said at the “Henderson vs. Thomson” post-fight press conference:

“Cole Miller is a turd the UFC hasn’t flushed yet,” said Cerrone. “I think the UFC is totally against me going to 145 [pounds]. I couldn’t drink delicious, full-bodied Budweisers, so that would be a lifestyle change. I don’t know if I’m committed to that. Cole Miller, win some fights and then come see me. You’re at the ass-end of a long line of people. We’ll see.”

That right there is a solid early front-runner for Press Conference Diss of the Year. But look, nobody really cares about two guys from different weight classes squabbling with each other over some old, petty bullshit. What’s important is Cerrone’s future in the lightweight division now that he has a win streak going again. And as it turns out, Donald has some ambitious plans for 2014…

(A crestfallen Sergio Pettis. / Photo via Getty)

By Matt Saccaro

Sergio Pettis isn’t ready for the UFC.

This opinion might be unpopular, but it’s true. UFC lightweight champ Anthony Pettis‘ younger brother just isn’t ready.

Sergio Pettis is talented, of that there is no doubt. While most 20-somethings were complaining about trivial social justice issues on Thought Catalog or watching Girls, Sergio Pettis was kicking ass en route to the UFC, showing that he has ample technique and a bright future. The hype wanted us to believe Pettis’ future was now. Fuck the Super Mario Brothers, it was time for the Super Pettis Brothers.

Alas, like with nearly every young, buzzworthy prospect, Pettis faltered. The hype train managed to steamroll over his pedestrian UFC debut, but not so for his follow-up fight against Alex Caceres at UFC on FOX 10. Pettis lost via submission in the third round. Even though the fight was close and well-fought up until the submission, a loss is still a loss.

“He’s just not as good as his brother,” some will say. Others will be harsher, citing Alexander Emelianenko syndrome. “If it wasn’t for his last name, you’d have never heard him; he’s nothing special.”

They’ll be right, but only about the “if it wasn’t for his last name” part.

(Luckily, Josh is no stranger to awkwardly intimate encounters. / Photo via MMAJunkie)

The UFC is back on network television tonight with a four-fight FOX broadcast, live from Chicago’s United Center. In the main event, former lightweight champion Benson Henderson attempts to rebound against Josh Thomson, who may earn a title shot with a win here. Plus, heavyweights Gabriel Gonzaga and Stipe Miocic throw bombs until one of them needs to sit down for a while, Donald Cerrone fights some guy he’s never heard of, and Darren Elkins and Jeremy Stephens face off for the right be taken seriously in the featherweight division.

Handling our liveblog of the UFC on FOX 10 main card broadcast is Aaron Mandel, who will be tossing round-by-round results after the jump beginning at 8 p.m. ET / 5 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest updates, and be sure to tell us how you feelin’ in the comments section. Thanks for coming.