(“You’ll never get me Lucky Charms!”)

For nearly four years, the Japanese MMA promotion DREAM did its best to carry the mantle of PRIDE, presenting the same mix of top international talent and freak-show comic relief, all inside of a traditional ring, rather than a filthy American cage. But we were hit with some sad news this weekend as multiple sources reported that DREAM has ceased day-to-day operations, and will no longer be producing events. So as we like to do when great MMA traditions die, let’s take a look back at some of the fights that made this promotion so unique, so entertaining, and so balls-out insane…

#8: Kazushi Sakuraba vs. Melvin Manhoef
DREAM.4, 6/15/08 

Though Kazushi Sakuraba’s fame was partly based on his willingness to absorb damage from larger fighters, the level of savagery that Melvin Manhoef inflicted on him during their meeting at the Yokohama Arena probably should have convinced Saku to walk away from the sport. The moment when Manhoef drags Saku away from the ropes by his leg so he can dive in to continue the assault (see the 2:43 mark above) remains one of DREAM’s most indelible and brutal moments.

#7: Shinya Aoki vs. dumb-ass gaijin
DREAM.7, 3/8/09

Another tradition that DREAM inherited from PRIDE? Absurd mismatches. At the time of this fight, Aoki was widely considered to be a top-3 lightweight, while Gardner was an obscure 13-7 journeyman who was coming off a loss to Brian Cobb. Aoki’s domination on the mat was no surprise, but the fight became legendary for how it ended. Stuck with Aoki on his back, Gardner took advantage of a brief pause in the action — and the near-silence in the Saitama Super Arena — to wave to the crowd and shout “Hello Japan!” Aoki immediately wrapped up Gardner’s neck and choked him out, causing the crowd to break out in laughter and Bas Rutten to cry “Oh my God it is so dumb! So dumb! Why?!” Some things just can’t be explained, Bas.

Thankfully, not all MMA event posters are lunkheaded eyesores. Here’s our tribute to some of the most creative and memorable ones we’ve ever come across…


(An appropriate image for an event that featured Mirko Cro Cop, Quinton Jackson, Mark Coleman, Alistair Overeem, Antonio Rogerio Nogueira, Igor Vovchanchyn, and both Rua brothers.)


(The UFC’s artistic high point.)

(Screw college basketball. This was the most thrilling Final Four of all time.)

(Mighty Mo knockout reel. Sound-effects added for emphasis!)

DREAM’s 13th show goes down in just 10 days, and in true Japanese MMA fashion, the card isn’t even close to being finalized. Currently, six fights have been announced, most notably the featherweight title fight between champion Bibiano Fernandes and Joachim Hansen, who will be dropping from lightweight to challenge for the title. Also, KJ Noons gets back in action against Andre "Dida" Amade, Cole Escovedo takes on Yoshiro Maeda, and Super Hulk champion Ikuhisa Minowa will have his next David vs. Goliath battle against heavyweight journeyman Jimmy Ambriz.

The semi-big news at today’s DREAM 13 press conference was that Josh Barnett has been officially added to the event, though his opponent hasn’t been announced yet. According to one report, the Babyface Assassin could be tangling with K-1 veteran "Mighty Mo" Siligia. Mo’s got knockout power to spare, but he’s lost six of his last seven kickboxing matches, and his last MMA appearance was a triangle-choke loss to Semmy Schilt 15 months ago. In other words, Barnett’s got this one. From a competitive standpoint, this is maybe one step up from bullying amateurs at a local grappling tournament. As we explained earlier, DREAM isn’t exactly the ideal promotion to work for if you want to test yourself against the best heavyweights in the world. But compared to fake-fighting Bob Sapp, anything seems legitimate…

MMA had more than its share of unforgettable moments this year — though many of them were unforgettable for all the wrong reasons. With 2009 drawing to a close, we’ve collected and ranked the year’s lowlights. Now let’s never speak of these things ever again…

#9: The "Hello Japan!" incident at DREAM.7 (3/8/09)

Fighting in the Saitama Super Arena must be an incredible experience. There you are, surrounded by 20,000 eerily quiet Japanese people who all seem to appreciate the intricacies of the sport. During his match against submission wizard Shinya Aoki at DREAM.7, American journeyman David Gardner tried to honor the occasion by waving to the crowd and saying "Hello Japan!" The problem was, Aoki had his back at the time, and as soon as Gardner’s hand went up, Aoki whipped his arm under Gardner’s neck and sunk in a rear-naked choke. "Oh my God it is so dumb," Bas Rutten lamented in the broadcast booth. Dumb is an understatement. Even "Wouldn’t Get Up From Butt Scoot" is a more respectable way to lose a fight. Way to represent the Red, White & Blue, Dave.

#8: Chuck Liddell dances with the stars (9/21/09-10/13/09)

When Dana White temporarily retired Chuck Liddell following his knockout loss to Mauricio Rua at UFC 97, few could have guessed that the Iceman’s next move would be an appearance on a dance-competition show that no red-blooded MMA fan in their right mind would ever watch. Liddell joined the ninth season of Dancing With the Stars with no formal dance training to speak of, and despite his best efforts he didn’t fool any of the judges, who called him everything from "graceless" to "gentle neanderthal." After four weeks of low scores and fruity costumes, Liddell was sent packing. On the bright side, Chuck expanded his fanbase on network television, outlasted fellow competitor Tom DeLay, and probably wound up banging his redheaded dance partner. Still, Tito Ortiz’s stint on Celebrity Apprentice now seems like the most badass thing in the world by comparison.

(The appropriately epic poster for Dynamite!! 2009.)

Members of FEG and World Victory Road held a press conference earlier today in Japan to discuss their collaborative effort for New Year’s Eve, Dynamite!! 2009: The Power of Courage. A batch of fights were announced, and the lineup (via Nightmare of Battle) is looking like this so far…

MMA Heavyweight Feature:
Satoshi Ishii vs. Hidehiko Yoshida

Super Hulk Tournament Final:
Ikuhisa "Minowaman" Minowa vs. Rameau Thierry Sokoudjou

DREAM vs. Sengoku Raiden Championship:
Norifumi “Kid” Yamamoto vs. Masanori Kanehara
Hiroyuki Takaya vs. Michihiro Omigawa
Hideo Tokoro vs. Marlon Sandro
Hayato “Mach” Sakurai vs. Akihiro Gono
Katsuyori Shibata vs. Hiroshi Izumi
Alistair Overeem vs. Kazuyuki Fujita

(Overeem vs. Thompson. Props to DreamCageFights. And special props to Michael Schiavello for predicting that this fight wouldn’t last long. How the hell did he see that one coming?!?)

- Alistair Overeem def. James Thompson via submission (guillotine choke), 0:33 of round 1
- Eddie Alvarez def. Katsunori Kikuno via submission (arm-triangle choke), 3:42 of round 2 
- Marius Zaromskis def. Myeon Ho Bae via KO (head kick), 0:19 of round 1 
- Kazushi Sakuraba def. Zelg Galesic via submission (kneebar), 1:40 of round 1 
- Katsuyori Shibata def. Tokimitsu Ishizawa via TKO, 4:52 of round 1 
- Dong Sik Yoon def. Tarec Saffiedine via split decision 
- Yoshiro Maeda def. Chase Beebe via submission (rear-naked choke), 3:36 of round 1 
- Kuniyoshi Hironaka def. Won Sik Park via TKO (eye injury), 5:00 of round 1
- Tomoya Miyashita def. Keisuke Fujiwara via unanimous decision

More fight videos after the jump…

(Man that thing’s hideous.)

British slugger James Thompson has lost his last four fights, and eight of his last ten. His career highlights include getting pwned in 11 seconds by Aleksander Emelianenko, accidentally starting a riot in Montreal, and losing to Kimbo Slice. All of which makes him an ideal candidate for Alistair Overeem‘s next victim. MMA Fanhouse is reporting that Overeem’s "TBA" opponent for this coming Sunday’s Dream.12 show will be The Colossus, who most recently got knocked out by Jim York at Sengoku 7. (Video of that fight is after the jump; yep, he’s still doing that ridiculous gong-and-dash thing.) We don’t expect Overeem vs. Thompson to play out much differently than Overeem vs. Sylvester; it’ll be a deadly striker vs. a befuddled brawler, and Big James is going to leave the ring with yet another concussion to add to his vast collection of brain injuries.

(Bibiano Fernandes reacts after submitting Joe Warren at DREAM.11. Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

Following recent events in the UFC, WEC, DREAM, and Sengoku, we’ve updated the featherweight and lightweight pages in our Power Rankings section. To summarize…

FW: Bibiano Fernandes enters for the first time. Hatsu Hioki and Raphael Assuncao rise slightly, while Wagnney Fabiano plummets. WEC 44‘s scrap between Mike Brown and Jose Aldo could alter the top 5. Josh Grispi and L.C. Davis lie just outside the top 10.

LW: Gray Maynard enters for the first time. Shinya Aoki solidifies his place at #2, while Joachim Hansen and Gesias Cavalcante fall. Josh Thomson officially drops off the list due to inactivity, but if he can make it through a training camp without injuring himself, the winner of the rematch between him and Gilbert Melendez could potentially re-enter. Mizuto Hirota and Tyson Griffin are also close. UFC 107‘s match between BJ Penn and Diego Sanchez could alter the top 5.

Give ‘em a look and let us know how you feel…

Watch more Asylum videos on AOL Video

According to undefeated Strikeforce heavyweight Brett Rogers in the above video, you can usually tell how a fight is going to go down by the pre-fight faceoff. And so, three brave online editors decided to test their staredown might against the Grim, with decidedly mixed results. First up is cherubic Asylum.com writer Jordan Newmark, who nearly poops his suit-pants when Rogers penetrates deeply into his soul. But in round two, Asylum editor Jake Goodrich holds his ground despite his significant height disadvantage. (Jake was also standing on a milk crate when this was filmed.) And finally, Lemondrop.com editor Laura Gilbert evens the score with a set of Manson lamps that earns Brett’s full respect and discomfort. Also worth watching: Jordan asks Fedor Emelianenko what he really thought of Rocky IV.

(Props: spicadocious via Fightlinker)

This kickass highlight reel — which could also be titled "Rise of the Whitemare" — covers DREAM’s welterweight grand prix from earlier this year, in which Marius Zaromskis smashed his way to the top of an eight-man field that also included such notables as Hayato Sakurai, Shinya Aoki, and Andre Galvao. Highlights include Zaromskis’s fake-flying-knee superman punch at the 2:39 mark, and of course his knockout-of-the-year candidate against Jason High at the 4:19 mark. DREAM returns on October 8th with the semifinals and finals of its featherweight grand prix, the second round of the Super Hulk Tournament, and the lightweight title fight between Joachim Hansen and Shinya Aoki.

After the jump: Anderson Silva shows off his boxing skills against a local pugilist at Freddie Roach’s boxing club.

(Props: OlavDigre via IronLife)

Now that we all know who Marius Zaromskis is, it’s time for fanboys around the world to crown him "the next Anderson Silva" — and this new AC/DC-soundtracked highlight reel makes a pretty strong case for that claim. The UFC needs to sign this dude so he can start head-kicking some of the weak links straight out of their welterweight division. The Whitemare is balls-out excitement, 150% of the time. Believe that.

After the jump: Another highlight reel, for another "next Anderson Silva," and a strange little fight from DREAM.10 that you may not have seen yet, but really should.

(In the animal kingdom, playing dead can be considered an intelligent defense. In an MMA fight, not so much. Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

Yesterday’s event may have been low on spectacle, but DREAM plans to come back strong for their next show. Here’s what’s on the card for DREAM.11 (October 6th, Yokohama):

— The long-awaited rubber-match between Shinya Aoki and Joachim Hansen. The two top-ten lightweights first met at PRIDE Shockwave 2006, where Aoki took out Hellboy via gogoplata. But Hansen got revenge last July, scoring a brutal TKO over Aoki at DREAM’s lightweight GP finals. Hansen has been inactive since that fight, while Aoki has gone 4-1, earning victories over Eddie Alvarez and Vitor Ribeiro, with his only loss to Hayato Sakurai in an ill-advised welterweight match.

(Zaromskis vs. High. Props to MMA Linker.)

We should have known there would be trouble after Hayato "Mach" Sakurai needed seven and a half extra hours to make weight for today’s DREAM’s welterweight GP finals. The tournament favorite might have been fighting through exhaustion when he met Marius Zaromskis in the semis, in a bout marked by wild striking exchanges. Sakurai absorbed the more damaging blows, and the fight was halted about four minutes in so that doctors could check on a spurting gash under Mach’s left eye. When it was finally restarted after a long break, Zaromskis measured up Sakurai then threw a high left kick that put his lights out. A few more punches on the ground, and it was game over.

On the other side of the bracket, Jason High scored an upset of his own, handing jiu-jitsu juggernaut Andre Galvao his first MMA loss in a very close decision fight; one judge gave it to Galvao for his submission attempts in the first round, while the other two saw it for High due to his superior striking in the second. But the thrill of victory wouldn’t last long for High, as Zaromskis scored another head kick knockout — this time with the right leg — in their finals match.

In non-tournament action, Shinya Aoki outpointed Vitor Ribeiro in a disappointingly dull 15-minute bout, Dong Sik Yoon had to quit just a minute into his fight against Jesse Taylor after suffering a foot injury, and Paulo Filho survived a brutal striking assault from Melvin Manhoef and won the fight via armbar in what might be the leading contender for comeback fight of 2009. Complete results and more DREAM.10 fight videos are after the jump.

(Props: MMA Frenzy)

Though this Monday’s DREAM 10 event will feature the semi-finals and finals of their welterweight GP, as well non-tournament matches between Shinya Aoki and Vitor Ribeiro, and Melvin Manhoef vs. Paulo Filho, the lineup’s still a little thin. As of yesterday, only six fights were officially announced for the card. So, the organizers are doing a little last-minute patching, adding Seichi Ikemoto vs. Tarec Saffiedine as a GP reserve bout, and Jesse "JT Money" Taylor vs. PRIDE/K-1 HERO’s vet Dong Sik Yoon. The news was first broke yesterday on Taylor’s official website, YoJTMoney.com (seriously), in which Mongo wrote: "JT has always wanted to fight for the prestegious Dream organization and for the warrior spirit of Japan. JT will be sure to make the most of this incredible journey and opportunity."

(Jose Aldo: Murdering his way to the #4 spot.)

After the recent whirlwind of MMA activity in the UFC, WEC, Strikeforce, and DREAM, I’ve updated the Heavyweight, Welterweight, and Featherweight pages of our Power Rankings section. Check ‘em out and let us know what you think. Do Jeff Monson and Brett Rogers deserve to sneak into the heavyweight list? Who do you think sits just outside of the welterweight top ten? Is it okay that I’m so biased towards the WEC’s featherweights? Feel free to peruse all our divisional rankings, though I realize that the middleweight list is severely outdated, and I might not even want to deal with it until after UFC 100.

(BG)

(You know, Jason, it would be nice if your junk transitioned to a renewable energy source. Photo courtesy of DreamOfficial.com)

The return of Kid Yamamoto. Light-heavyweights fighting super-heavyweights. Desperate baseball players possibly dying in the ring. Ladies and gentlemen, we are about to see some crazy shit. DREAM.9 kicks off in a few minutes, and if you’re reading this live, God bless you. Round-by-round updates from the HDNet broadcast are after the jump; refresh the page every few minutes to get all the latest. If there’s a long stretch of time where there’s no updates, it just means that I’ve fallen asleep. Let’s all hope that doesn’t happen.
 

(It was at that moment that Jose realized his life had become unmanageable. Photo courtesy of DreamOfficial.com)

DREAM.9 — which goes down tomorrow in Yokohama, and will be broadcast live on HDNet starting at 5 a.m. ET / 2 a.m. PT — is simply too epic for us not to liveblog. If you’ll be awake for some reason, swing by and find out how quickly/pathetically Jose Canseco gets his ass kicked by Hong Man Choi — as well as what happens with the rest of the Super Hulk Tournament opening round, the featherweight grand prix quarterfinals, and the Mayhem/Jacare middleweight title fight. If you’ll be sleeping like a normal person, just come over when you wake up and get caught up on all the insanity.

Weigh-in results are after the jump, courtesy of MMA Weekly.

(Image courtesy of DreamOfficial.com)

Maybe the word "epic" is overused on the Internet. Certainly we’ve been guilty of using it vain when "totally sweet" would have sufficed. But I think "epic" really does apply to DREAM.9 (May 26th, Yokohama) which contains the quarterfinals of DREAM’s "Super Hulk Tournament" and Featherweight Grand Prix, as well as a great lightweight feature between Tatsuya Kawajiri and Gesias Cavalcante, and the middleweight title fight between Jason Miller and Ronaldo "Jacare" Souza.

The show will be broadcast in North America on HDNet Tuesday morning at 5 a.m. ET/2 a.m. PT, and while I’m not really down with farmer’s hours, I might have to watch this one live (and maybe even liveblog it) — especially since it’ll also represent an emotional farewell to HDNet. Right, so DREAM.9′s official fight order will be…

With his shot at DREAM’s middleweight title coming up on May 26th, it’s time for Jason Miller to take a break from bully beating and get down to business. This new documentary from AllElbows (with original music by Genghis Con) shows Miller haunted by his loss to Ronaldo "Jacare" Souza last June, and changing his training habits to ensure that things turn out differently during their rematch at DREAM.9. Is our little Mayhem growing up?

After the jump: Gina Carano — who took the #16 spot on Maxim’s Hot 100 list — teaches some goof how to fight, then beats the crap out of him.