(SURPRISE! Just shittin’ you, Ricco. The fight’s still on.")

In spite of Alistair Overeem’s public statement to MMAFighting’s Ariel Helwani today that he never agreed to face Ricco Rodriguez at DREAM 15 this weekend, executives from the Japanese MMA organization are denying that the Strikeforce heavyweight champion has declined a slot on the card.

According to sources close to the fighter, who is currently aboard a plane to Japan under the assumption that the fight is still a go, DREAM officials have denied the reports that have surfaced about Alistair bowing out of the event and they have held steadfast to their claim that Rodriguez will indeed face Overeem.

(Diaz vs. Sakurai. The actual fighting begins about the 3:15 mark. VidProps: YouTube.)

His claims of being the No. 1 pound-for-pound fighter in the world are a bit of a stretch, but Nick Diaz did what everyone expected him to do last night at Dream.14, handling Hayato “Mach” Sakurai en route to a first-round submission win. The biggest surprise of the fight was Sakurai’s striking, as he came out throwing enough heavy leather to make the Strikeforce welterweight champ decide he didn’t want none on the feet in the early going.

Aside from a couple of stand-up exchanges however,  Diaz smothered Sakurai on the ground, eventually securing an arm bar three minutes, 54 seconds into the first round. For Sakurai, who said earlier this week he wanted to retire as soon as he became an “ordinary” fighter, that time may be now.

Complete Dream.14 results after the jump.

(DREAM’s master plan of eventually having puppet-only fight cards didn’t go over as well as predicted with Japanese fans)

According to a report from Sherdog.com, DREAM has inexplicably scrapped its planned (but never officially announced) May 29 light heavyweight grand prix. The reason for the cancellation, which is the second major change to the event (organizers rescheduled the show from April 24 until they added more Korean fighters to the card to help them secure a TV deal in Korea) was loosely linked to comments made by event producer Keiichi Sasahara on Tuesday that because the event would be contested in the hexagonal cage introduced at DREAM 12, that was not used at DREAM 13, "the tournament would need to be reevaluated."

Seriously? Because some of the fighters assumed they would be fighting in a ring, you cancel the entire tournament? They have over a month to adjust to the change. The funny thing is, the fighters who will step in to fill in the card  have the same amount of time to prepare for a fight as these guys would have had to make the subtle changes to their respective game plans to prepare for a larger and differently shaped fighting surface. They’re fighters, for Crom’s sake. Shouldn’t they be prepared to fight under any circumstance? I don’t buy this excuse.

(Sorry Nick, but there’s no way you’re winning this competition for overall chest viewership. Photo courtesy of Esther Lin’s archives.)

You can probably put this in the ‘fights that would have been great two years ago’ category, but at least it’s happening. According to GracieFighter.com – your go-to source for very brief stories on why the Gracie squad rules and you totally suck – Nick Diaz will be fighting Hayato “Mach” Sakurai in a 170-pound, non-title bout at Dream.15 in Tokyo at the end of May.

It’s a fight Diaz has been trying to secure for some time, only in light of Sakurai’s recent decline it seems far less competitive now. Sakurai lost his last two fights in decisive fashion, first to recent Diaz victim Marius Zaromskis via head kick, and then to Akihiro Gono via armbar. What’s worse is how uninspired he looked against Gono, as if he would rather be anywhere else than in the ring.

If that same Sakurai shows up to fight Diaz, who’s riding a six-fight winning streak since his TKO loss due to cuts against KJ Noons, it could be a very quick and painful night in front of his home crowd.

(If you think the Dream promoters won’t throw this kid in there with Barnett, then you haven’t been paying close enough attention.)

Josh Barnett has officially signed with Dream, according to MMA Weekly, and is gearing up for a return to non-scripted fighting action on their March 22 event.  There’s just one problem.  As he mentioned on his Twitter yesterday, nobody seems to want to fight him.  Or maybe that’s not true.  Maybe there are people who want to fight him.  They’re just, you know, a little busy at the moment.

Of the non-UFC, non-joke heavyweights out there who might actually give Barnett a fight, there just aren’t too many people with an empty dance card.  Alistair Overeem and Brett Rogers are both betrothed to one another, as are Andrei Arlovski and "Bigfoot" Silva.  Fedor Emelianenko and Fabricio Werdum seem headed for a May date, but even if the M-1 boys are throwing a wrench in those plans by angling to get a higher price tag for Fedor, it seems unlikely that Dream could convince Werdum to take a fight with Barnett on a couple weeks’ notice in the meantime.

Aside from some of the more ridiculous options (no offense Bob Sapp, it’s just, well, you know…), that doesn’t leave a lot of meat on the table for Babyface.  Whaddaya say, any huskier members of the Potato Nation feel like stepping up on short notice and making a few extra bucks?  We’re not going to lie to you, it’s probably going to hurt.

(Noons celebrates a TKO [via cut] victory over Diaz, which he is sure will shut Nick up for good. Yep, he’s definitely heard the last of this bit of business.)

KJ Noons may have temporarily abandoned his dreams of boxing greatness to return to MMA, but you can forget any hopes you had of seeing him jump right back in against Nick Diaz in Strikeforce. Noons’s first fight back will instead take place at Dream.13 on March 22, where he’ll face Brazilian lightweight Andre “Dida” Amado. For those of you who don’t know, “Dida” is a Muay Thai specialist who is 6-3-1 in his six-year career, and he’s coming off three straight losses, including a submission defeat to Gesias Cavalcante and a TKO loss to Eddie Alvarez.

In other words, this fight is not exactly a leap back into the shark tank of MMA. It’s more like easing into a hot bath filled with some mildly pissed off lake trout. But hey, maybe that’s what Noons needs to get reacquainted with all this kicking and kneeing and grappling stuff. It has been almost two years since his last MMA fight, a TKO victory over Yves Edwards. Maybe he needs to beat up a Brazilian in Japan, get comfortable again, and then it’s back to the U.S. to show Nick Diaz that he is totally not scared, homey. That’s how it would go down in our perfect world, anyway.

(Now that Warren will be fighting in the U.S. again, maybe he and long lost brother Jon Gruden can finally reconnect and form some type of relationship.)

In early 2009 Joe Warren seemed like just another decorated amateur wrestler making a hasty leap into MMA after a positive marijuana test derailed his Olympic dreams. But then he beat Chase Beebe and "Kid" Yamamoto in his first two fights, and suddenly the MMA world began to take notice. Now, after a bitter loss to Bibiano Fernandes in the semi-finals of Dream’s featherweight Grand Prix, Warren has signed on to compete in Bellator’s 145-pound tournament in 2010. In this exclusive interview, Warren discusses that decision and much more with Cage Potato.

So what made you decide to go with Bellator?

Well, I’ve been wanting to get back in the states and fight, but I’ve also signed an Asia-only contract with Dream for this next year. I was really excited when I met the people from Bellator and I loved the opportunities they were offering me, like the chance to fight on TV here at home, but still go back and win that belt in Dream. I think we all saw eye-to-eye and I’m glad to be in an up-and-coming organization like this in the states.

(And he was such a nice guy before he started hanging out with those Diaz boys. Photo courtesy of Fight Magazine.)

When Shinya Aoki broke Mizuto Hirota‘s arm at the New Year’s Eve Dynamite!! show and followed it up with the old ‘Tokyo Heybuddy,’ that didn’t sit too well with the people from Sengoku.  Not that they had any real reason to think that their lightweight champ would beat the Dream beltholder, but having him utterly destroyed and then publicly humiliated probably wasn’t what they had in mind when they agreed to that portion of the cross-promotional battle.  Now, says MMA Mania, Sengoku officials are asking for Aoki to be punished for his post-fight behavior, which they referred to as "erratic, unforgivable conduct," followed by what they believe to be a mostly insincere apology.

They’re right about one thing — Aoki probably isn’t all that sorry.  The move wasn’t exactly gentlemanly, but it was perfectly in line with the persona he had been cultivating in the lead-up to this fight.  This is the same guy who pretended not to know who the Sengoku champion was, who called the fight a "disgrace" to himself and his family, and who entertained himself at pre-fight press conferences by telling other fighters to shut up when their comments ran a little long for his liking.  If you were paying attention, you could have seen this coming.

It’s hard to believe that it’s been seven months since Dream’s Super Hulk Tournament burst onto the MMA scene to show the world what a real freak show is all about.  The opening round featured Japanese shit-show regulars like Bob Sapp and Hong Man Choi, but also new faces like Jose Canseco, and even Gegard Mousasi before he pulled out to explore less freakish fighting goals.  But now the tournament has been whittled down to two remaining giant-slayers, and the good people at Dream put together this highlight to remind us what’s at stake this New Year’s Eve when Dynamite!! 2009 ushers in the finale of a pursuit many believed was too ridiculous even for Japan.

The irony here is that the two finalists in the Super Hulk tournament — Ikuhisa Minowa and Rameau Thierry Sokoudjou — were two of the least super hulky guys in the tournament.  Not that it’s surprising that Sapp and Choi failed to make it to the finals (hell, Sapp went 0-2, which is kind of impressive considering it was a single-elimination tournament), but Minowaman vs. Sokoudjou is actually an unusually normal fight for New Year’s Eve in Japan.

(Aoki has been on the internet all day trying to figure out who these Sengoku jokers are. It would probably help if he didn’t keep pausing every five minutes to shop for new tights on Amazon.)

Instead of splitting the Japanese MMA vote with two separate New Year’s Eve events, Sengoku and Dream have decided to not only combine their efforts, but to pit several of their fighters against one another in a Sengoku vs. Dream battle royal.  Of course, because they’re still a little over a month away from the event, the organizers haven’t seen fit to nail down the complete fight card yet.  That’s just not how they do, but chances are that the final lineup will be co-headlined by the K-1 bout between Masato Kobayashi and Andy Souwer, along with Hidehiko Yoshida taking on MMA newcomer Satoshi Ishii in the battle of the gold medalist judokas.

Aside from that, it’s a toss up.  Several cross-promotional fights are expected, but far from finalized.  If you were hoping to see Dream lightweight champ Shinya Aoki take on Sengoku lightweight champ Mizuto Hirota, well, first you’ll need to explain to Aoki exactly who Hirota is:

"Who’s the champion now? Because I don’t know,” [Aoki] said. “Right now, I’m number one. I feel that I’m [at the] top now, and if I fight him, I fight him. I didn’t say I wanted to fight him, and no one knows who he is, so if we fight … well, I’ll have to think about it.”
 

Oh, Shinya.  You crazy guy.  Allow us to provide a little primer for you after the jump. 

You know you’re somebody in the world of mixed martial arts when A/V genius Genghis Con makes you the subject of one of his mesmerizing videos.  That’s why we’re still waiting for that highlight reel featuring clips of us sitting at our computers to the tune of obscure Japanese pop bands (and we won’t wait forever, Genghis), but in the meantime we can entertain ourselves with some of the Con’s most recent work on new Strikeforce signee Marius "The Raging Demon" Zaromskis.  It’s everything we’ve come to expect from our favorite video editing machine.  The video game-esque music is the perfect compliment to Zaromskis’ ridiculous string of head kick KO’s, and nothing tells you that the guy has a Street Fighter II-like overconfidence in himself quite like the attempted backflip attack at the 2:37 mark.

Not that we can’t understand the reasoning behind it, but we’re still a little disappointed in the change of nickname for Zaromskis.  Sure, "The Whitemare" is the kind of thing that might not play in the U.S., but at least it’s unique.  "Raging Demon" sounds like a skateboard company started by a group of guys who dropped out of community college.  The very least Strikeforce could do is to give him a nickname that is as quirky and uncommon as his last one, even if he ends up hating it as much as Gegard Mousasi despises his.   

(Overeem, pictured here shortly after eating the 2003 version of himself.)

After winning his second meaningless fight via standing guillotine choke in as many weekends, Alistair Overeem voiced his desire to fight Fedor Emelianenko in April of 2010.  Beyond just the specificity of that request, what’s interesting is that he followed up by saying that if he had his choice he’d rather do the fight in Dream than in Strikeforce.  Not surprisingly, Dream’s Keiichi Sasahara would prefer that too, saying, “I’ll do what I can to make that happen in the near future.”

Wouldn’t that just be a kick in the pills for Scott Coker and his crew?  They go to all this trouble to sign and then promote Fedor through their CBS connections, and they spend over two years waiting for Overeem to come back and defend his heavyweight title, and then Strikeforce’s new partner threatens to swoop in and steal the fight. 

(Now that’s what a commitment to deadpan looks like. Props: Kamipro.com)

Dream’s great experiment inside a cage is now less than a week away, and though they’re inching closer they still haven’t finalized the complete lineup.  The most recent addition is Japanese legend Kazushi Sakuraba taking on Croatian striker Zelg Galesic.  Galesic was originally slated to face Melvin Manhoef who, like a couple other participants who appeared on the promotional poster, has since pulled out.  Instead, Sakuraba will go directly from fighting a pro boxer with no idea that leg kicks actually hurt, to fighting a guy who has what it takes to give him another Manhoef-style beating like the one that probably should have heralded the end of his career.  So basically, if there’s anything you’ve been wanting to say to Sakuraba, you better go ahead and say it now while you still have the chance.

Meanwhile, Alistair Overeem will head to Japan fresh off his assault on Tony Sylvester at Ultimate Glory 11 this weekend, and still there’s no word on who he’ll be facing when he steps in the white cage on Sunday.  Since the odds of Dream booking a top-ten heavyweight on less than a week’s notice aren’t all that great, it’s probably safe to say that Overeem will be getting his second squash match in as many weekends.  Maybe the reason he’s avoiding the U.S. isn’t fear of drug tests.  Maybe he just likes beating up on guys who are nowhere near his skill-level and getting paid for it.  Not having to pee in a cup at the end of the night, that’s just a bonus.

The current line-up for Dream.12, courtesy of Nightmare of Battle, is looking like this:

(‘This guy’s totally rich or something, right? Right?’)

Wouldn’t you know it, the same day we dance on Tim Sylvia’s MMA grave, his name pops up in the news again, this time to say he may have either a very legitimate or very ridiculous fight in the works.  According to Sylvia’s manager, Monte Cox, Big Tim is in talks to head to Japan for a New Year’s Eve fight and Cox says he’s “pretty confident that he is going to fight there.”

What they don’t know is whether he’ll fight for Dream or Sengoku, but apparently Dream contractees Alistair Overeem and Hong Man Choi have both been discussed as possible opponents.  That means that he might get a real fight against the Strikeforce heavyweight champion (who, again, is avoiding fighting in the U.S. like he’s got some kind of Roman Polanski-esque legal troubles over here), or he’ll do the typical NYE freak show fight against Choi.  Those are two very different potential futures for Sylvia.  You’d hope that he would rather go the serious route if given the choice, but as we’ve seen in the past, Sylvia is not above taking a bout that makes no sense at all.

What do you say, would you rather see Sylvia in an absurd fight against Hong Man Choi, just to keep the New Year’s Eve tradition intact, or does Sylvia-Overeem really get your heart pumping?  Side question: if he does fight HMC, what are the odds that he joins Jose Canseco and Bobby Ologun on the “Techno Goliath’s” list of MMA victims?  Just saying, this is the guy who couldn’t close the deal with a hard-drinking strip club bartender on Blind Date,  so you better believe he knows how to screw up a sure thing.

(Props: MMA Share)

We’ll say this much for Dream, they may not always put on the most competitive or, for lack of a better word, serious fights, but at least you always know what you’re going to get from them.  For instance, you’re going to get Kazushi Sakuraba tooling a washed-up pro boxer while Michael Schiavello utters baffling one-liners like, "Trying to predict what Sakuraba’s going to do next is harder than finding a pubic hair at a Jonas Brothers concert." 

Thanks, Michael.  It’s been far too long since I thought about the hairless genitals of pre-pubescent girls, and what better time to return to that disturbing image than during an MMA bout?  But hey, creeping you out with prepared material that he’s scribbled on hotel stationery is all in an evening’s work for "The Voice." 

After the jump, more videos from last night’s festivities, including all the Super Hulk freakness you can stomach, the semi-final matches of the featherweight Grand Prix, plus others.  More coming soon.  Full results from Dream.11 are all the way at the bottom.  Consider yourself warned.

(Even in the artist’s rendition nobody shows up for this.)

Behold, the hexagonal cage that will make its debut at Dream.12 on October 25.  Sure, it seems to have geometrical peculiarities that the Octagon doesn’t have, such as the two sides of the fence that are way longer than all the other sides, but at least they had the good sense not to refer to it as The Hex, which is still the most profoundly bad MMA marketing idea this side of The YAMMA.  According to Dream’s announcement, this cage won’t become their go-to surface for all events from now on.  Instead, they plan to hold one special cage event each year, presumably to keep that wrathful God(zilla?) from destroying their island nation.

In addition to their new cage, Dream.12 will supposedly feature fights that are three, five-minute rounds.  Right now they’ve got a pretty sweet lightweight fight between DEEP champ Katsunori Kikuno and Eddie Alvarez, along with a group of “planned participants” that includes Alistair Overeem, Marius Zaromskis, and crazy ass Paulo Filho.  In other words, it could be a pretty solid event if those guys all actually show up.  So why is Dream trying to become a half-assed version of the UFC?

(More oddball grappling exhibitions between fighters separated by four weight classes? Yes please! Photo courtesy of Sportsnavi)

From MMA Fanhouse:

(Cro Cop vs. Al Turk Props: MMA Linker)

Dana White’s over-the-phone verbal contract with Mirko "Cro Cop" Filipovic prior to UFC 99 was the first time he’d done a deal with a fighter without getting it in writing, or negotiating in person. We’re guessing it’ll also be his last. The big scandal coming out of Germany after yesterday’s show is the surprise news that Cro Cop had already signed a new three-fight deal with DREAM by the time he stepped into the Octagon against Mostapha Al Turk (video above). Though Cro Cop had previously told White that he wanted to officially sign for two more fights in the UFC and make a run for the heavyweight title, the truth came out following Mirko’s TKO victory via eye-pokes. As you can imagine, DW was seeing red in the post-show press-conference:

(Photo courtesy of Kamipro via N.o.B.)

Faced with sub-par TV ratings, DREAM is responding by giving Japanese MMA fans what they need — complete and utter insanity. The lineup for DREAM.9 (May 26th, Yokohama, Japan) is already stacked with the quarterfinals for their featherweight GP, the middleweight title fight between Jason Miller and Ronaldo "Jacare" Souza, and a lightweight feature between Gesias Cavalcante and Tatsuya Kawajiri. But according to Nightmare of Battle, the event will also host the first round of DREAM’s new "Super Hulk Tournament – World Superman Championship" open-weight grand prix. Are you sitting down? Good. Because these matchups may shock you…

Returning to the ring for the first time since his decision loss to Ronaldo "Jacare" Souza at DREAM.4 last June, Bully Beatdown host Jason "Mayhem" Miller defeated Kala "Kolohe" Hose to capture Kingdom MMA‘s middleweight title at their inaugural event, held Saturday night at the Neal Blaisdell Center in Honolulu. After the two fighters traded some strikes, Mayhem took Hose to the mat, easily scored mount, and began throwing down punches and hammer-fists. Trapped, Hose gave up his back and was immediately caught in a rear-naked choke, tapping at 2:23 into round 1.

After the fight, Miller praised Hose’s hard head, gave love to the Hawaiian crowd, and said his next step is fighting for DREAM’s middleweight title. With Gegard Mousasi vacating his belt, Miller and Jacare will rematch for the strap at DREAM.9 (May 26th; Yokohama, Japan); the event will also feature the quarterfinals of DREAM’s featherweight grand prix, and a lightweight main attraction between Gesias Cavalcante and Tatsuya Kawajiri.

Full results from Kingdom MMA 1 are after the jump.

(‘And what is deal with airline food? Is no good, am I right?’)

Want to hear something totally insane and probably not true?  That was a rhetorical question.  Of course you want to hear this.  According to a Croatian newspaper article translated for us by Robert of betwwx.com, Mirko “Cro Cop” Filipovic’s next bout will be this July in an Affliction/Dream co-promotional event full of all kinds of fights that only sort of make sense.  

The article quotes Cro Cop as saying that he’d like to fight four times this year (he knows it’s already mid-April and he’s fought zero times so far this year, right?) and five times in 2010, so the credibility of this report seems strained to begin with.  But then the article declares that the “only certainty” is a Cro Cop-Alistair Overeem rematch on a July 20 Affliction/Dream co-promotion in Japan.  Also on that card, according to this report, will be Fedor Emelianenko taking on Jeff Monson and Josh Barnett facing off against Andrei Arlovski.

Whoa, let’s back up a second, Croatian newspaper.  Now who’s this Fedor guy anyway and what has he done to deserve a shot at "The Snowman"?

According to Ronaldo “Jacare” Souza’s manager, they’re planning on a fight “for the title” at Dream.9 on May 26.  Nothing is confirmed yet, Jacare’s manager told Tatame, but right now it looks like it will be a rematch between Jacare and “Mayhem” Miller for Gegard Mousasi’s vacated middleweight belt.  If true that would make for a tight turnaround for Miller, who’s slated to take on Kala Hose in Hawaii at Kingdom MMA on April 18.  Call it making up for lost time.  Or maybe he’s just assuming that it won’t take much out of him to whup on Hose in front of his Hawaiian peeps.

– As we saw earlier today, Dana White’s threats to step back from the limelight might be the slightest bit hollow, but ESPN plans to actually make him talk on video when they send their E:60 crew to Montreal for a story on his recent video blog controversy.  The piece will allegedly seek to compare White to the heads of other major sports organizations, asking what would have happened to them had they gone all nasty on a female sports reporter and her anonymous sources.  We just hope E:60 has learned from their past mistakes.  If they ask him about steroids, the interview’s over.

– Spike TV sent out another ‘in your face!’ press release today to announce that Saturday night’s replay of UFC 94 was the “#1 program among Men 18-34 in all of television (cable and broadcast) during its time period.”  The replay peaked at 2.4 million viewers for the main event and averaged 1.9 million over the three-hour broadcast, which, as Spike is kind enough to point out, bested HBO’s Winky Wright/Paul Williams bout, which drew a measly 1.5 million viewers.  What you’re wondering is, did they mention how it compared to Strikeforce’s viewership?  They did not.  But they know you’re thinking about it anyway.

– Remember the rumored bout between Mark Coleman and Stephan Bonnar?  The UFC made it official for UFC 100 today, but relegated it to the “may not be broadcast” prelims.  On one hand, that’s a hell of a place to end up after such a great career (talking about Coleman, obviously. I said great career, not one great fight).  On the other hand, if there’s one UFC card where you can feel okay about being pushed to the prelims, it’s that one.

(Kid Yamamoto highlight reel, y’all. Bounce ta dis.)

As previously rumored, former K-1 HERO’s champ and #4-ranked featherweight Norifumi "Kid" Yamamoto will end a year-and-a-half hiatus at DREAM.9 (May 26th; Yokohama, Japan) when he enters their ongoing featherweight grand prix, taking an automatic bye to the quarterfinals. Yamamoto hasn’t competed since his second-round TKO victory over Rani Yahya at K-1 Premium 2007 Dynamite!! on New Year’s Eve 2007, which was his 14th-consecutive win. And it seems like DREAM’s organizers have a sense of humor, because they’re slotting him against former U.S. wrestling champion Joe Warren, who, like Yamamoto, was involved in a reputation-injuring marijuana scandal. (Weed is a big no-no over there. Very dishonorable.) May the best pothead win? DREAM.9′s featherweight GP matchups will be arranged thusly:

Norifumi “Kid” Yamamoto vs. Joe Warren
Masakazu Imanari vs. Bibiano Fernandes
Yoshiro Maeda vs. Hiroyuki Takaya
Abel Cullum vs. Hideo Tokoro*

In the wake of Shinya “The Man In Tights” Aoki’s TKO loss to “Mach” Sakurai at Dream.8, a lot of MMA pollsters are debating what this does to Aoki’s status in the lightweight division and his pound-for-pound ranking.  As we’ve said in the past, rankings are mostly useless speculation, but fun nonetheless, so we’ll entertain for the moment the idea that this is worth debating.  

When determining how Aoki deserves to fall in the rankings, you have to take a few different factors into consideration:

1) Quality of Opponent
The simple rule is, if you lose to a guy you were expected to lose to, you don’t suffer much from it.  It basically means you, like the Chicago Bears, are who we thought you were.  But if you lose to a guy you were expected to beat, like a Paulo Thiago, it can hurt you bad.  Sakurai is a solid fighter.  He’s been around forever, has beaten some good fighters and lost to some great fighters.  He consistently hangs around the perimeter of the welterweight top ten, so there’s no shame in dropping a fight to him, at least if you looked like you belonged in there with him.  Which leads us to our next variable…

(Voted most likely to punch you in the back of the head at a punk show.)

Jeff Monson, the hardest-working anarchist in MMA, is ready for a real challenge.  After submitting Sergei Kharitonov at Dream.8, he’s decided that he is now ready for Fedor Emelianenko, and he’s imploring Dream to make it happen for him:

“My goal in DREAM is to fight the best. Ultimately, I want to fight Fedor. If DREAM could set that up it would be great.”

Whoa there, Snowman.  Let’s back up a second.  I know you’re riding high off your string of rapid-fire victories, including a very questionable decision over Roy Nelson (who then showed up in your corner at Dream.8 because that’s just the kind of guy "Big Country" is, always willing to help a brother out).  But the climb up the heavyweight ladder doesn’t usually go Roy Nelson, Sergei Maslobojev, Sergei Kharitonov, and then Fedor.  

(Hayato Sakurai vs. Shinya Aoki. Listen for the Japanese version of Frank Trigg calling the action at the 1:20-1:27 mark of the video.)

The opening round of DREAM’s 2009 welterweight grand prix went down today at DREAM.8 in Nagoya, Japan, with Hayato Sakurai and Andre Galvao establishing themselves as early favorites to go all the way. In the evening’s main event, Sakurai was able to defeat Shinya Aoki for the second time in his career, reversing position after a slick takedown from Aoki, then unleashing a brutal series of knees to the head and punches that forced a stop to the action just 27 seconds into the fight. Aoki, who didn’t bother putting on weight for the match, hopefully learned that he’s better off at lightweight.

Elsewhere in the welterweight GP, Andre Galvao looked impressive yet again, taking out UFC/WEC vet John Alessio by armbar at 7:34 of the first round; the powerful jiu-jitsu ace increases his record to 3-0, with all wins by armbar. Jason High was able to bounce back to the W column with a quick choke-out of Yuya Shirai, while Marius Zaromskis edged out Seichi Ikemoto by decision after a 15-minute slugfest.

In the non-tournament bouts, Jeff Monson won for the third time in three weeks (!), using his significant grappling advantage over Sergei Kharitonov to sink in a north-south choke early in the first round. Vitor "Shaolin" Ribeiro was also victorious in his return to competition, controlling Katsuhiko Nagata for most of the first round of their match until a series of knee-strikes from Ribeiro opened up a nasty gash on Nagata’s head; doctors immediately went in to check the wound, and decided to stop the fight. And in a minor upset, Riki Fukuda — a late replacement for Dong Sik Yoon — was able to score a very close decision over Murilo Rua after a 15-minute standup battle.

Full results and more videos after the jump…

(Via DreamOfficial.com)

Above you see the interpretive dance routine choreagraphed and directed by Shigeru Saeki in its debut at the Dream 8 weigh-ins.  A stunned Shinya Aoki watched from just off-stage.  He later described the routine to reporters as "breathtaking."

Then this guy showed up and ruined everybody’s fun.

(Shaolin’s fateful match against JZ, K-1 Hero’s Tournament Final, 9/17/07)

Former top ten lightweight Vitor "Shaolin" Ribeiro hasn’t competed since September 2007, when he suffered a detached retina during a fight against Gesias Cavalcante. ("It seemed like my eye was inside my head," he told Sherdog. "The pain was unbearable.") And though rumors of his return have swirled since last year, it looks like it’s finally happening — for real this time. DREAM has added a bout between Ribeiro and Olympic silver medalist Katsuhiko Nagata to Sunday’s DREAM 8 card, bolstering that event’s weak-sauce lineup.

Ribeiro, who holds notable career victories over Tatsuya Kawajiri, Joachim Hansen, and Mitsuhiro Ishida, spent his time off opening a gym in New York City called Modern Martial Arts. Unless his skills have deteriorated significantly in his hiatus, he should have no problem dispatching Nagata, who has gone 1-3-1 in his last five fights. Video of Ribeiro kicking Ryuki Ueyama’s ass in March 2007 is after the jump.

("Just out of curiosity, what’s up now, bitch?" Mousasi surveys the wreckage of the similarly-named Musashi in their K-1 match at Dynamite!! 2008.)

— Though he may still be making his U.S. debut for Affliction, Gegard Mousasi‘s next fight will be in Japan. FiveOuncesofPain reports that DREAM’s 2008 middleweight grand prix winner could return at DREAM 9 (May 23rd) to take on Rameau Thierry Sokoudjou; it would be Mousasi’s debut as a light-heavyweight, and his first MMA fight since last September. Sokoudjou currently carries a 5-4 record, and has dropped his last two matches to Luis Cane (at UFC 89) and Renato Sobral (at Affliction: Day of Reckoning). The African Assassin needs a break, but he probably won’t catch one here.

— A battle between two middleweight grapplers who flamed out of the UFC despite loads of talent has been booked as the main event of MFC 21 (May 13th; Edmonton, Alberta, Canada). MFC prez Mark Pavelich announced yesterday that Travis Lutter vs. Dean Lister would headline the show, which will also feature Marcus Aurelio, David Heath, John Alessio, and Solomon Hutcherson. Lutter hasn’t competed since his loss to Rich Franklin at UFC 83 last April, while Lister made his most recent appearance at UFC 92 in December, where he dropped a unanimous decision to Yushin Okami.

("I used to be an AFC like Shinya. Now that I’ve learned the Mystery Method, I pull more tail than Hayato.")

DREAM’s 2009 welterweight grand prix kicks off April 5th at DREAM 8, and four of the tournament matchups have just been announced, along with a few features in other weight classes. The event will be headlined by a rematch between Shinya Aoki and Hayato "Mach" Sakurai; Sakurai previously won a decision over Aoki at a Shooto event in August ’05. Check out the current lineup below, and keep in mind that the opening round kicks off ten days from now, and only half the field is assembled. Not that this is the first time that DREAM hasn’t had all their GP participants locked down before the opening round, but this is really pushing it…

I don’t see how the winner of Aoki/Sakurai doesn’t just pwn the fuck out of this field, which is easily the weakest of any DREAM GP to date. Shirai and Ikemoto are local jobbers, and UFC/WEC-castoff John Alessio is only slightly better. High just got owned by Jay Hieron at Affliction: Day of Reckoning; too bad the Thoroughbred isn’t available for this tournament. And while Andre Galvao is a stud when it comes to jiu-jitsu, he’s underexperienced in MMA. There’d better be some big names attached to those last four spots, or the tourney could be a gigantic bust.

And the other bouts on the card aren’t much better. The Kharitonov/Monson clash could be entertaining, but of the six men in the other non-GP bouts, only Minowaman and Ninja have winning records. Seriously. DREAM is hoping for a big ratings resurgence when they return to a decent time-slot, but it’ll be hard to get fans interested — especially in the U.S., where once again, HDNet is airing the event days later on tape-delay.