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15 Moments of Instant Regret [GIFs]

Tag: drugs

Does the UFC Need to Pay for Athlete Rehab Like the WWE?


(Photo via Getty)

Chris Leben posted a tweet earlier today that jolted an MMA world still asleep in post-UFN 36 lull:

Any sentiment related to the UFC and how they take care of their fighters (whether it’s about pay, insurance, or what have you) is bound to be controversial. Leben’s tweet suggesting the UFC discards their fighters once they’ve outlived their usefulness and leaves them as empty, “broken” husks was no exception. A firestorm erupted on twitter and other Internet locales, with many fans insulting Leben and bashing the TUF Season 1 veteran. Their argument: Leben made more money than me, so fuck him. His drug issues are not my problem. Harsh words for a man who risked his mind and body to entertain so many.

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The Unsupportable Opinion: Why PEDs Should Be Legal in MMA


(Can we go back to those innocent, joyful days when you didn’t give a damn about your favorite fighter’s T/E ratio? / Photo via MMAWeekly)

By Jon Mariani

Drugs are bad, m’kay? At least that’s the conventional wisdom regarding the use of performance enhancing drugs in mixed martial arts. For the past 12 years, state athletic commissions as well as the UFC have tried to combat steroid use (and hormone therapy abuse) through pre- and post-fight testing, and punitive measures like suspensions and fines.

Some would argue that commissions and promoters should go even further with their anti-PED efforts, enacting more stringent testing for athletes. We say, what’s the point? Why burn so much money and man-hours trying to eradicate a problem that can never be eradicated? Ultimately, it might be better for the sport if all MMA fighters were allowed to use PEDs. Seriously. Here’s why that might not be the worst idea in the world…

It Would Level the Playing Field

When asked what percentage of fighters in MMA currently use PEDs, the most conservative response is usually around 50% of fighters; on the other side of the spectrum, estimates from fighters themselves go as as high as 90%. If those numbers are to be trusted, that would mean the majority of fighters currently use PEDs. It makes sense that so many fighters are using considering how poor the current testing is.

The fighters who don’t use PEDs face a clear disadvantage when they step into the cage against opponents who do. There’s also the murky waters of testosterone replacement therapy hall passes, which are being given away like candy. Legalizing PEDs would mean that all fighters could use, which would mean fighters who would like to use but currently don’t because it’s illegal would get on the gear. For the first time since athletic commissions began drug-testing MMA fighters, competition would be truly fair.

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Correction: Ian McCall Only Hates Homeless Junkies, Not Homeless People in General


(You call that a paint job? Give me my five bucks back, Ken. / Photo via Getty)

Shocking as this may be, UFC flyweight Ian McCall – a man who calls himself “Uncle Creepy” and models his image after that of a man who keeps a copy of The Catcher in the Rye in his back pocket at all times – isn’t always careful about what he tweets. In the past, he used Twitter to share the story about that time his wife cheated on him with Rob Emerson, which had to make things all sorts of awkward for his followers to see on their timelines. And yesterday, McCall accidentally offended many of his followers by sharing what appeared to be his views on homelessness. Spoiler alert: His tweet didn’t exactly portray the homeless in a favorable light.


(I hate the homeless … I don’t feel sorry for you. If you want change then let me throw it as hard as I can at your dirty face)

Well, that was unnecessarily harsh. Naturally, his followers began to call him out for the tweet, so McCall went on to clarify that he doesn’t hate most of the homeless – he only hates the homeless drug addicts, mostly because he used to be one himself.


(Hate me all you want Ive been homeless n [strung] out. I changed that part of my life No sympathy for junkies who talk shit to me for no reason)

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CagePotato Ban: Anything to Do With the Bickering Between Jenna Jameson and Tito Ortiz


(Nope. Nothing to see here. Everyone just move along. Photo via Iamflashdance.) 

If following loosely MMA-related minor celebrities on Twitter is your thing, there’s a chance that you have already seen Jenna Jameson‘s latest tirade against Tito Ortiz last night. That’s right, the couple known for their crazy, attention-seeking behavior decided to air their dirty laundry on Twitter, and it was just as outrageous and pathetic as you’d expect it to be.

There’s no way I’m covering every tweet from this disaster, so here’s the short version: Jenna accused Tito of taking her children, cheating his drug tests with the UFC and almost killing her in February. As “proof” that Tito Ortiz is a raging drug addict, Jenna tweeted a picture of a drawer that she claimed belonged to Ortiz — which contained a few syringes and a bottle of Ibuprofen — and a picture of the Diet Cokes in her fridge with some prescription bottles above them. Tito responded to MMAJunkie.com by essentially saying “think of the goddamn children” before blaming her for all those losses at the end of his career.

Of course I’m not joking about that last statement. Tito Ortiz said that Jenna Jameson’s erratic behavior distracted him before the fights he lost at the end of his career; presumably because even he has finally realized how pathetic of an excuse “I totally had a cracked skull, you guys” is.

This may be more of a precautionary measure than anything else — who knows if Jenna Jameson will actually come forward with a story about Tito Ortiz almost killing her — but it’s right about now that I think we need to revisit a defunct CagePotato Ban from the days when Ortiz was a free agent claiming to be “very close” to signing with a new promotion every other day:

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Former UFC Scrapper Paul Kelly Is Now a Convicted Heroin Trafficker


(Paul Kelly, leaving his audition for the upcoming Don’ You Go Rounin’ Roun to Re Ro sequel. / Photo via Liverpool Echo)

Paul “Tellys” Kelly, the thickly accented Scouser who compiled a 5-4 record while competing in the UFC as a welterweight and lightweight from 2008-2011, was just convicted of drug-trafficking in his native England, and is currently awaiting sentencing next month. According to the charges filed against him, Kelly — who has maintained his innocence throughout his trial — led a significant heroin dealing operation, in which he and his friend Christopher St John McGirr used couriers to import and distribute heroin. The Liverpool Echo (which Tellys doesn’t seem to hold a very high opinion of) adds more details:

West Derby hard man Paul Kelly had denied being a major heroin dealer after an acquaintance of his was picked up with 1.5kg of import purity drugs in the footwell of his car. But after a four day trial jurors returned unanimous guilty verdicts and he was remanded in custody to await sentence…

During his trial he claimed he earned £100,000 a year and did not need to deal drugs for money. But prosecutor David McLachlan said the fighting money had dried up after he left UFC and ended up losing a “journeyman” bout in India.

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Counterpoint: Maybe Bryan Caraway IS a F…reaking Jackass


(Not only did he charge little Billy twenty bucks for the autograph, but he also spelled his name “G-o-f-u-c-k-y-o-u-r-s-e-l-f.” Image via Caraway’s Twitter account.)

Okay, let me get this sentence out of the way as quickly as possible: Even though he expressed his opinion in a profoundly stupid manner, perhaps Nate Diaz has a damn good point about Bryan Caraway being a less-than-admirable individual.

I’ll give you a few moments to let that sink in.


(What, were you expecting something different?)

I’m not here to fault Caraway for accepting Pat Healy’s UFC 159 Submission of the Night bonus after Healy failed his drug test – even though he was obnoxiously self-righteous about it – because if my boss offered me sixty thousand dollars I wouldn’t exactly turn it down. But allegations of hitting a woman and selling drugs? That dog won’t hunt, monsignor.

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Duane Ludwig’s Secret Coaching Weapon: Watching Fight Tape While High


(“…and I’m not saying it was aliens, okay? But dude. It was aliens.” / Photo via AlphaEntertainmentOnline.com)

Ever since retired UFC fighter Duane Ludwig stepped in as the striking coach for Urijah Faber‘s Team Alpha Male, the Sacramento-based crew has been on a tear. They essentially have three #1 contenders on the team right now (Faber, Chad Mendes and Joseph Benavidez) and Alpha Male hasn’t lost a major bout since Ludwig took over the coaching spot.

Ludwig discusses his recent gig and coaching techniques in a great two-part interview over at MMA Mania that you really should check out in full. There’s a lot behind Ludwig’s approach to coaching and what he brings to the table — over a decade of experience as an elite kickboxer and MMA fighter, for example. But we can’t help but fixate on the last thing he talks about in the interview.

At first he tries to gloss over it but, ‘Bang’ likes the ganja and feels that analyzing fight footage while high helps him get deeper insight. (Also, that giant Team Alpha Male bag of Cheetos from Costco ain’t gonna eat itself.)

“I’m always studying film, looking at fights from all aspects. When I watch a fight, I watch it from A’s corner and then I watch it from B’s corner. Even with that, I look at the fight again and I alter my own consciousness and I watch the fights again just to make sure, just to get some different looks on things. I actually have another guy in Colorado who reviews film for me as well. From one fight in particular, I get a lot of looks. I watch it multiple times from different stages of consciousness and I have other people watching it. I put more research into fighting than anybody does, more effort into this game than people are aware of, that’s for sure,” Ludwig explains to MMA Mania.

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Bellator Featherweight Tournament Winner Daniel Straus Arrested for Drug Possession, Driving on Suspended License


(Daniel Straus mugshot via…hmm…I want to say Jailbase, maybe?)

2013 has already gotten off to a very rocky start for Bellator featherweight Daniel Straus. Just a few days after he was forced to withdraw from his scheduled April 4th title fight against Pat Curran due to a broken hand, Straus was arrested this past Friday in Broward County, Florida, for driving with a suspended license, possession of over 20 grams of cannabis or three grams of synthetic cannabis, possession of MDMA (ecstacy), and drug paraphernalia possession or use.

The 28-year-old Cincinnati native (born Daniel Mason-Straus) was taken to the North Broward Bureau Detention Center in Pompano Beach on a bond of $2,200, and third-degree felony charges were filed yesterday in the Broward County Judicial Circuit Court of Florida. Straus is currently unlisted in the Broward Sheriff’s Office inmate database.

Unfortunately, this isn’t the first time that Straus has run afoul of the law. As he told ESPN in October:

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WTF of the Day: Jose Canseco Makes his Moobs Dance, Almost Makes a Point Somehow


The Jose Canseco have the big lady boobs and the lil mouse balls.

There’s something to be said about a drug addict who chooses to make money by exploiting his struggles with addiction, all while enabling the addictions of other people. I’m not sure if there are proper words for it, but utterly tragic, pathetic and thoroughly reprehensible are probably good places to start. Case in point: Jose Canseco, who has been dangerously addicted to anabolic steroids in the past (and possibly still is), now dedicates his time to encouraging both current and potential steroid users through a series of videos on Steroid.com. If you’re surprised by any of this, I envy your ignorance.

Oh, and he makes his glorious man boobies dance. Did I mention that part yet? Because that happens.

Back to business though. This week, Canseco touches on the topic of which steroids are “the most awesome steroids,” which obviously are the ones that make your tits bounce, n00b. Naturally, Canseco addresses former teammates who decided not to use steroids in the unfortunately typical words of an addict who refuses to take responsibility for his own actions:

As a baseball player, if you didn’t take steroids you were just a pussy. You were just not part of the team at that time. You weren’t really trying to win. You weren’t doing everything possible to become the best baseball player out there and help your team win. It was like a sacrifice in a way, you really had to do everything possible to help your team win.

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Arrest Roundup: Mayhem Hit With Vandalism Charges, McCall Mistaken for Drug Dealer


(I’ll just sit here and be quiet, just in case they do… suspect me. They’re probably watching me. Well, let them. Let them see what kind of a person I am. I’m not even going to swat that fly. I hope they are watching… they’ll see. They’ll see and they’ll know, and they’ll say, “Why, he wouldn’t even harm a fly…”)

After suffering the greatest loss of his storied mixed martial arts career last month — that of his dignity — when he was found nude inside a Mission Viejo church he had destroyed and doused with a fire extinguisher, it appears that charges are finally being pressed against former UFC/Strikeforce fighter and MTV psuedo-reality show host Jason Miller. And they are relatively modest considering both the circumstances of his arrest and the fact that this wasn’t Miller’s first rodeo, if you know what we mean; Miller is being charged with just one count of misdemeanor vandalism for his actions, and is set to appear in court on November 21st.

“Mayhem,” who was released from jail following a brief psychological evaluation, promised to his fans and those concerned that “everything was fine” and that he was “with people that love me, and hope that you will join me. If I ever hurt anyone, I am sorry,” in his first public statement, but hasn’t been heard from since. Fun fact: Miller was arrested almost one year to the day after his aforementioned arrest for putting his sister in a headlock. Apparently that August heat really does drive some people crazy.

Elsewhere on the MMA blotter…

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