(Palelei puts a twelve-second beating on Bob Sapp, then visibly regrets accepting the fight in the first place.) 

Way back in 2007, a towering Australian slugger by the name of Soa Palelei made his UFC debut at UFC 79: Nemesis. In what would turn out to be Palelei’s lone appearance in the organization, the Aussie engaged in a tepid, horrendously sloppy clinchfest with fellow future-castaway Eddie Sanchez. It was easily the worst fight of the night — marred by long stretches of inactivity, a pair of low blows, and an equally anticlimactic ending in which Soa basically called it quits due to some swelling around his eye — and ranked among the worst of the year.

Sanchez, having narrowly avoided being fired by virtue of winning the fight, would lose his next two fights before receiving a mercy execution from the promotion. Palelei, on the other hand, would not be given a second shot in the UFC (perhaps rightfully so) and would spend the next five years compiling a 10-1 record in the hopes that he could someday earn a chance at redemption and Zuffa glory.

Well, according to Palelei’s management team (Paradigm Sports Management), the heavyweight KO artist will finally be given that chance, as he has inked a four-fight deal with the UFC. Palelei stated the following in an official press release that was sent out yesterday:

I’m thankful to Dana White and Joe Silva for giving me this opportunity to come back to the UFC to showcase my skills. With determination, hard work and a great team, I’m happy to say that today I have signed with the UFC. I look forward to competing in the best organization in the world. 

(Sapp’s most recent effort attempt ”showing” against James Thompson. How do you know it’s a Bob Sapp joint? Because the introductions are twice as long as the fight.) 

In the difficult economic times that we are currently experiencing, Bob Sapp’s continual ability to stay employed as a “fighter” is nothing short of inspiring. And by inspiring, we mean infuriating. The man has fought nine times in the past three years, totaling just over fifteen minutes of ring time. There is not a doubt in any of our minds that the time he spent training for those fights was less than half of that. He has lost all but one of those contests, and word has it that the one man he defeated committed Sepukku shortly thereafter. Yet he continues to get work. He lost his last fight by submission due to (fake) leg injury, and tapped out to approximately two punches thrown by a BJJ expert in the fight before that. Yet he continues to get work.

Perhaps it is a sign, like the popularity of Jersey Shore or Nicki Minaj, that our culture has truly done a 180 in terms of what we consider worthy of our attention. Where in days past, it was a person’s abilities that brought them into the public eye, it seems now more than ever that we as a society are fixated with people who lack any discernable talent whatsoever.

Bob Sapp is living, breathing proof of this phenomenon.

Thankfully, it looks as if Sapp may finally be forced to take on a fighter who could make him reconsider his line of work altogether; someone who could possibly knock Sapp out cold before he gets the chance to call it quits. That man is none other than UFC veteran Soa Palelei, who is scheduled to take on Sapp at Cage Fighting Championships 21 on April 20th.

If there is a God, he will not allow Bob Sapp to walk away from this fight completely intact.

(And he sticks the landing on the celebratory backflip! Props: notohous)

It looks like the end of the line for Jamie Varner. The former WEC lightweight champion fought in the main event of Friday night’s Titan Fighting Championships 20 show in Kansas City, and lost a unanimous decision to a 9-1 Nebraska-based prospect named Dakota Cochrane. Cochrane came into the fight on just three days’ notice, replacing Varner’s original opponent Alonzo Martinez — who was pulled from the fight due to legal troubles — and won all three rounds on all judges’ scorecards.

After the fight Varner tweeted, “I gave fighting another shot I need 2 thank u guys 4 ur support! But I just don’t have it anymore. Love u all but ull never c me fight again.” Shortly after, he deleted the message, so who knows. The loss increases (decreases?) Varner’s record to 1-1-4 over the last two years. No matter what the future holds, Varner can be secure in the fact that he was once responsible for the greatest victory dance in the history of MMA.

(Brett “Crisco” Rogers. Ain’t nothin’ sticks to him.)

Well, as expected, Brett Rogers isn’t going to have to answer for the crimes he committed against his wife back in July.

The former Strikeforce heavyweight today reached a plea deal in his domestic assault case stemming from an incident that occurred in the summer in which neighbors and Rogers’ nine and 10-year-old daughters witnessed the hulking former Sam’s Club employee ground and pounding his wife in the backyard of their Apple Valley home. During the attack, his wife, Tiuana was momentarily rendered unconscious, had one of her teeth knocked out and was left bloodied and battered and with cauliflower ear as she fled the scene. Following the incident, Rogers was charged with felony third-degree assault, felony domestic assault by strangulation, and felony stalking as well as one gross misdemeanor count of endangerment of a child.

According to the Apple Valley Patch, as a result of the plea deal his attourney was able to strike with prosecutors, Rogers pled guilty today to a simple charge of third-degree assault — which is not a felony — and the rest of the charges were dropped.

(Video courtesy of Zombie Prophet)

Two months after his arrest following a domestic disturbance in his home, Brett Rogers is ready to face the public. On last night’s episode of Inside MMA, “The Grim” sat down with Ron Kruck to discuss the case and announce his upcoming bout. Rogers will step into a Dakota County District Court on September 13^th to face felony charges of third degree assault, terroristic threats, and harassment and stalking. The now-happy couple seems ready to move on with their lives.

Brett Rogers: “I was told not to go in to details. The situation that occurred, it happened, and it was more of a misunderstanding when I look at it. The papers can write whatever [ed. note: Awesome! Thanks, Brett]. But we still are going through the legal process.”

Tiuana Rogers: “We’d just rather move forward and be positive.”

In keeping with the ‘staying positive’ them, Rogers’ attorney likes their chances as they head into court.

(Run and tell *that*, homeboy. Props: YouTube.com/BellatorMMA)

By DL “Friday the ReX13th” Richardson

Look, you know me, and you know what I’m going to say about the Bellator Fighting Championships: when it comes to MMA, they’re doing it right. Bellator does away with traditional ranking and matchmaking for their main events; they instead sign an eight-person field and let the fighters decide amongst themselves. It’s a format that appeals to fans and fighters alike, and it’s produced some exciting fights and amazing finishes. When some promotions go after a high-visibility free agent, they try to feed them impressive victories and pave the way toward championships. Bellator just drops them in the quarterfinals like everyone else. Upsets happen (see: Huerta, Roger). Cinderella stories happen (see: Curran, Pat). But it feels much more legitimate seeing champions develop organically like this while some promotions throw title fights to guys coming off of losses.

Never mind if injuries throw things off (Curran out versus Eddie Alvarez due to shoulder injury), or if those high visibility free agents get a shot at the champ anyway (Huerta in versus Alvarez, albeit in a non-title bout) or speculations that Bellator is on the verge of financial insolvency — they’re putting on good shows and the fighters are hungry. There’s entertainment in them there FSN channels.

If you’ve missed Bellator like I’ve missed Bellator (or if you’ve just missed me, for whatever reason), come along and I’ll tell you about the first event of Bellator’s third season. We’ll talk about the minor leagues of heavyweights, and the elite picture of the women’s featherweight field. Plus we might talk about how catchy that Bed Intruder Song is…

(Uh…what? Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

By DL “Remember the Lackland” Richardson

Bellator’s second season is winding down, as we complete another set of semifinals at the Majestic Theatre in San Antonio, Texas. Even if you’ve been paying attention, though, you still may find it hard to predict what is going to happen when Bellator is on. BFCXX popped off last night, and if you forgot about it or your cable company is a bunch of greedy bastards, allow me to fill you in. Results and full recap after the jump, as well as my secret to wealth and attracting the most attractive sexual partners…

(Bellator VII highlights, courtesy of YouTube.com/BellatorMMA)

Bellator‘s welterweight tournament finals were settled on Friday night in Chicago, as Lyman Good and Omar De La Cruz got their hands raised in the semis after dominant performances. Good increased his record to 9-0 with his whipping of Jorge Ortiz (highlights begin at the above video’s 4:15 mark), as he poured on an overwhelming barrage of strikes over two rounds until Ortiz’s face fell apart and the fight was stopped due to a cut. De La Cruz was just as aggressive in his fight with former UFC middleweight champ Dave Menne (see the vid’s 6:15 mark), throwing down some of hardest punches from the top that you will ever see in your life, before ending the fight with a lights-out right hook. Good and De La Cruz will meet in the welterweight finals on June 12th in Uncasville, Connecticut.

In non-tournament action, Kerry Vera won a thrilling three-rounder over Leslie Smith in her MMA debut (highlights begin at the video’s 1:28 mark), and UFC vet Eddie Sanchez scored the fastest knockout in Bellator history with his 10-second demolition of Jay White (skip to 3:39). Full event results and the complete video of the must-see Vera/Smith fight are after the jump…

("No Love" has "No Job." Photo courtesy of UFC.com.)

Now that the country is losing jobs at a rate of almost 20,000/day, it was only a matter of time before the UFC’s contracted fighters began to feel the crunch. FiveOuncesofPain reports that the following fighters have been released from their contracts — and will now enter the worst job market since World War II:

— Rich Clementi was dropped shortly after tapping to a guillotine choke in the first round of his match with Gleison Tibau at Saturday’s UFC Fight Night 17. It was his second-consecutive loss in the Octagon, following a previous decision loss to Gray Maynard at UFC 90. This is actually the third time that the UFC has given Clementi his walking papers; he was also dropped after losing his first UFC fight to Yves Edwards in 2003, and again after going 1-2 following his stint on TUF 4 in 2006-7.

— Luigi Fioravanti was also cut after UFC Fight Night 17. Though he was able to score a decision win over Brodie Farber at "Fight for the Troops" in December, his first-round TKO loss to Anthony Johnson on Saturday was his fourth loss in his last six UFC appearances.

 
(Look out, "The Manic Hispanic" is off his meds again.)

You might not have noticed this – and no one would blame you if you didn’t – but way down on the bottom of tomorrow night’s “UFC Fight For The Troops” card is a wacky little match-up between Justin “The Insane 1” McCully and Eddie “The Manic Hispanic” Sanchez.  And I swear to you I am not making those nicknames up. 

Neither of these guys has set the UFC heavyweight division on fire, with Sanchez going 3-2 and McCully going 1-1 in the organization.  Considering that they’re both about as marketable as mud gum, in addition to being two heavyweights who can’t even get on the televised portion of Wednesday night Spike TV card, I smell a good old-fashioned loser-gets-fired match. 

What’s weird is, they may not even realize it. Our friends at Fightlinker kicked themselves for missing this article on McCully, wherein he talks as if he’s just one or two victories away from a title shot.  He even tries to tell himself that coming in and fighting first Antoni Hardonk and then Gabriel Gonzaga was “probably the two toughest fights I’ve ever seen anybody have in the UFC.”

Sanchez similarly told UFC.com that he hopes to be in title contention by the middle of 2009.  Which means at some point between now and then he’d have to jump ahead of guys like Shane Carwin and Cain Velasquez and, hell, even Cheick Kongo.

I’m not saying it can’t happen for one of these guys, but they can’t both be contenders.  Whoever loses here is going to have a really hard time justifying his continued employment.  The only question is, who’s it gonna be?

(Carneiro and Chonan during a DEEP match in 2005, which ended in a controversial TKO loss for Carneiro due to a cut.)

Joe Silva’s hands have been full this week piling on fighters for UFC 87, and scrambling to replace them for UFC 85. First, the word on “Bedlam” (London, England; June 7th):

— Ryo Chonan has pulled out of his rematch with Roan Carneiro for unknown reasons. Replacing him will be Kevin “The Fire” Burns, a 4-1 UFC newcomer with possibly the cheesiest nickname we’ve ever heard. The UFC is doing Fire no favors by putting him against “Jucao,” who already boasts wins over Rich Clementi and Matt Horwich.

— Speaking of undercard bouts few people will care about, British fighter Neil Wain has broken his nose and won’t be able to face Antoni Hardonk. Filling in for him will be Eddie Sanchez, who has won his last two UFC matches against Soa Palelei and Colin Robinson, and will do his best to deal with fighting across the Atlantic Ocean on two weeks notice.

As for “Seek and Destroy” (August 9th; Minneapolis, MN):

— Frankie Edgar, who took his first career loss against Gray Maynard at UFC Fight Night 13, will be returning at UFC 87 against an opponent to be named later. With Sean Sherk indicating that he wants to be part of the first UFC card in his home state of Minnesota, an Edgar/Sherk bout isn’t out of the realm of possibility.