With the recent allegations aimed at former Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky, the sports world has been thrown into a bit of chaos in the past few weeks. The story, which has undoubtedly tarnished the legacy of not only the college itself but also its legendary football coach Joe Paterno, is one of the most shocking and disturbing events to surface in the history of competitive sports.

Amidst the scandal coach Paterno had announced that he planned to retire at the end of the season, but it turns out Penn State had other, more immediate plans in mind. And though Sandusky’s fate has yet to be determined, we can only hope that it involves Pinhead levels of torture. Unfortunately the sad fact is, it often takes a wrongdoing such as Sandusky’s in order to open our collective eyes to the world around us and take action to try and ensure that it never happens again. It is with this in mind that we bring you ten of the biggest skeletons in MMA’s closet.

Whether or not we’ll actually try to do anything but mock them is yet to be determined.

Check out ten of the dirty little not-so-secrets of MMA’s past after the jump.

(Video courtesy of YouTube/FightHubTV)

Marcus Villegas from FightHub TV caught up with Gary Shaw at last weekend’s Chad Dawson vs. Bernard Hopkins event and the former EliteXC president revealed that he attempted to sign Quinton “Rampage” Jackson to his promotion back in 2007 prior to the former PRIDE fighter signing with the UFC.

“I know Rampage,” Shaw revealed. “I tried to sign him when I was with EliteXC.”

Shaw said that he would be interested in working with the former UFC light heavyweight champ if he is serious about moving over to boxing once his UFC contract expires.

(Video courtesy of TheFightNerd)

Our friends over at The Fight Nerd caught up with Gary Shaw recently and they asked the former EliteXC live events president what he thought about the latest incarnation of ProElite. Not surprisingly, Shaw didn’t hold back when describing the promotion’s chances in the current MMA landscape dominated by the UFC.

“I think it’s laughable. The people running it are  jokes. It’s not real and the only game in town is the UFC. I wouldn’t have been [interested in being involved with ProElite again]. All of my time is with boxing. Like I said, the only game in town is the UFC. You can’t beat them any longer. They are too entrenched,” Shaw explained. “They bought the next best thing, which was Strikeforce. Fedor’ s gone from the scene. So, right now it’s only the UFC. They’re miles ahead of everyone right now. It’s like us coming up with some fast food franchise and beating McDonald’s and Burger King. It’s not gonna happen.”

Strikeforce: Melendez vs. Thomson went down 3 years ago.

Why it matters:

• Bobby Southworth retained his Strikeforce light heavyweight strap by defeating Anthony Ruiz via unanimous decision. Ruiz beat B-South in their previous bout the previous november, but it wasn’t a title fight. Neither was Southworth’s fight that September against Bill Mahood at the Playboy mansion. It didn’t matter though since he won that fight by verbal submission when Mahood (who later tested positive for steroids) injured his ribs. Southworth, who held the strap longer than any other fighter would lose the belt in his next fight with Renato Sobral. Since then, it has changed hands four times.

• Strikeforce lightweight champion Gilbert Melendez (who won the title by defeating then-champion Clay Guida) lost his title to Strikeforce U.S. lightweight champion Josh Thompson in his second title defense via unanimous decision. After defending the newly-unified title once, Thomson would lose the belt in the rematch the following April. Melendez hasn’t lost since.

• Strikeforce women’s welterweight tournament winner Miesha Tate made her promotional debut.

(Video courtesy of YouTube/Stemerm1)

Strikeforce: Shamrock vs. Baroni went down 4 years ago.

Why it matters:

• Frank Shamrock became Strikeforce’s inaugural middleweight champion after he defeated Phil Baroni at the EliteXC co-promoted event held at the HP Pavilion in San Jose, California by choking “The New York Badass” unconscious with a rear-naked choke. Shamrock was criticized for “kicking” Baroni off of him after the bout. He explained the incident at the post-fight press conference. “He was heavy on top of me… he was squishing the life out of me… he was laying on my leg and on my chest… that’s it. And I thought it looked better on camera.” Shamrock would lose the strap one fight later to Cung Le.

• Following the bout California State Athletic Commission test results revealed that Baroni tested positive for Boldenone and Stanozolol steroid metabolites. He was fined $2,500 and suspended for a year from competing in California — a suspension that would be observed by every member agency in the Association of Boxing Commissions. Baroni denied any wrongdoing and appealed the decision and on October 31, 2007 Baroni’s suspension was reduced to 6 months without a even a shred of evidence presented that exonerated him.

• Murilo Rua defeated Joey Vilasenor to become the first EliteXC middleweight champion. He would lose it in his next fight with Robbie Lawler.

• Carter Williams was found by the CSAC to have tested positive for cocaine. As a result he was fined $1,000 and suspended for six months.

Yeah, if you’re looking for warm fuzzies, you can stop reading now. These two aren’t on the list. (Pic: MMAConvert.com)

Being a father must be one of the most thankless jobs on Earth. I say this not as a dad, but as a son who can only imagine what I put my father through. Sure, there are probably some happy times, like watching your son get his first hit on the baseball court, but largely it’s a never ending torrent of putting up with your son’s immature bullshit, and for that you get thought of one day a year at which time you’re rewarded with an ugly ass tie and a “Free Oil Change” coupon for the truck your son smashed up.

On this special occasion, take a few minutes to grab your old man, have a seat, and enjoy some good old fashioned shadenfreude with some of our sport’s less celebrated father-son moments. You may laugh, you may cry, but hopefully you’ll both realize that things could be a lot worse. Who knows, after a beer or two you may even decide to celebrate your strengthened bond by taking a class together.

To all the dads out there, keep fighting the good fight.

(Video courtesy of YouTube/FightHubTV.com)

Fight Hub TV’s Marcos Villegas caught up with Gary Shaw over the weekend and spoke to the former head of EliteXC about Nick Diaz’s boxing aspirations and why Kimbo Slice’s boxing debut never happened.

(Shaw talking to Helwani prior to Ariel’s plaid phase.)

Although he wouldn’t get into debating Frank Shamrock’s version of events, former EliteXC VP and matchmaker Jared Shaw spoke with CagePotato.com today to clarify comments he made during a recent interview with Sherdog’s Jeff Sherwood about the former UFC light heavyweight and Strikeforce middleweight champion’s offer to fix a fight with Kimbo Slice.

($kala got yo’ eyeballs all up on EliteXC. Mission accomplished.)

With the recent news that ProElite has risen from its the ashes to make an offer on Strikeforce before Zuffa quashed them like the insignificant mosquito that they’ve always been known as, inquiring minds have begun asking who will be at the helm of the company’s latest incarnation.

One name you won’t see on any of  ProElite’s offices is Jared Shaw.

The former EliteXC matchmaker who used to prefer to be known as his hip hop name $kala says he is done in the MMA business.

In a recent interview he did with Sherdog’s Jeff Sherwood, Shaw says he is concentrating on boxing and rapping and shed some light on the reasons he says ProElite and EliteXC collapsed.

Check out  what Shaw had to say after the jump.

(Video courtesy YouTube/FightHubTV) 

I don’t know if it’s just coincidence, but most of the people involved with mixed martial arts who I can’t stand are either named Gary or Shaw. There’s the obvious Gary Shaw, his son Jared "$kala" Shaw and then there’s Jerry Millen, who changed his name from his given name of Gary because he thought Jer or Jerdog sounded cooler. Seriously.

Anyway, the blobfather of EliteXC and boxing who tried to have his way with Gina Carano on national TV is back talking about how he hasn’t decided if he’s going to screw up start another MMA promotion or whether he’ll just take some fighters with him to compete on one of his boxing cards.

Sometimes in mixed martial arts, ideas to improve or add to the sport are born, that, although they may seem like great notions at the time, often aren’t. Even the creators of the world’s most popular MMA promotion have had their flops. We’re just glad there were people there to film them.

Here are the Cage Potato Top Five Worst MMA Ideas:

# 5
EliteXC: Kimbo Slice vs. Seth Petruzelli (Source: YouTube)

Sure Kimbo may have made it to the UFC in spite of this fight, but besides a recurring night-sweat inducing nightmare for Gary Shaw EliteXc is just a punchline in MMA history.

More vids after the jump.

(Props: MMA Fanhouse)

"Can [Kimbo Slice] be a successful heavyweight? I don’t think so. I think 100% he’s in the wrong weight class, that’s to begin with…But I don’t necessarily think Kimbo can get to 205, at 35 years of age, with the wear and tear. It’s tough to learn this sport, this sport is a lot different than boxing because with boxing you only have to use your hands. In mixed martial arts, you use your hands, your feet, you grapple on the ground, you use submissions. That is a lot of knowledge to retain, and at some point your body starts to shuts down on you in life…Kimbo’s in the wrong sport, there’s no doubt about that. Kimbo should be in boxing…If you want to be the best of the best, if you want to make the most money possible for your family like you say, then you probably should have went to the square-circle."

So says former EliteXC VP Jared "$kala" Shaw, who has now been out of the MMA game for over a year, and recently checked in for an interview with Fanhouse. Despite the criticism of Kimbo’s career choices, Shaw harbors no ill will towards the TUF 10 star, and is proud of the time he spent promoting fighters like Slice, Gina Carano, and Brett Rogers — and if the UFC or Strikeforce wants to give him a job, he’s totally down. It’s a more reflective, slightly-less-cocky version of $kala than we’re used to seeing, even when he’s indirectly taking credit for Gina’s budding movie career. Later in the interview, Shaw tells us that his music is coming along, and he hopes to drop it on us next year. Also, Herschel Walker is a joke, and Bob Arum is an embarassment to the Jewish race. Pot, meet thrifty, lactose-intolerant kettle…

If it wasn’t for bad luck, Strikeforce’s upcoming “Carano vs. Cyborg” card wouldn’t have any luck at all. Despite the best intentions, some MMA events are destined to be magnets for injuries, unwelcome surprises, and other bizarre occurrences. But which events have been screwed by fate the hardest? Knock on wood, grab your crotch, and read on…

*****
#10: UFC 67: All Or Nothing, 2/3/07

The aptly-titled “All or Nothing” event was the first UFC pay-per-view in nearly a year to lack a title fight by the time it finally took place.  That’s all the more disappointing when you consider that it had two a couple months out from the event, pitting TUF “Comeback” winners Matt Serra and Travis Lutter against the champions in their respective weight classes.

The first title fight went down the drain when Georges St. Pierre injured his knee during training and had to put off the fight with Serra (and we all remember how that went when it finally happened).  Fortunately they still had Anderson Silva vs. Travis Lutter to fall back on…right?  Only Lutter failed to make weight for his title shot, downgrading his “Rocky” storyline to a “Bad News Bears” one.  Instead they just had themselves a normal old three-rounder, with Lutter holding his own in the first round before getting triangled/elbowed to death in the second. What fun.

#9: UFC 98: Evans vs. Machida, 5/23/09

The event that famously launched “the Machida Era” only included Lyoto as a last resort. Originally, the card was to be headlined by the heavyweight title scrap between Brock Lesnar and Frank Mir, until Mir informed the UFC that he was still recovering from knee surgery. The main event was then changed to a light-heavyweight title fight between Rashad Evans and Quinton “Rampage” Jackson, but Jackson — who had just gone the distance with Keith Jardine two months earlier — bowed out due to lingering hand and jaw injuries. And so, the UFC decided to give a well-deserved light-heavyweight title shot to that weird Brazilian guy with the unibrow.

If you’re Rashad Evans, that would be enough to make this one of the unluckiest fight cards ever. But UFC 98’s string of setbacks extended to the supporting cast as well. Josh Koscheck pulled out of the event due to a broken toe and was replaced by Brock Larson; Koscheck’s scheduled opponent, Chris Wilson, missed the show because of incomplete paperwork. James “Born Under a Bad Sign” Irvin suffered one of his many knee injuries and was replaced by Xavier Foupa-Pokam. Yushin Okami also went down with a dodgy knee and was replaced by Chael Sonnen. And finally, hard-luck-case Houston Alexander broke his hand during training and was replaced by Krzysztof Soszynski. Later, it was discovered that the MGM Grand Garden Arena had been built on an Indian burial ground.

(Friends forever? Photo courtesy of AllElbows.com)

It’s hard to even get up the energy to mock Jared Shaw anymore.  He’s just so damn irrelevant.  But in talking about the role Kimbo Slice’s loss to Seth Petruzelli played in EliteXC’s collapse, he summed up the company’s fundamental failures without even realizing it:

"I stick up for him a lot because we put so much weight on his shoulders because we had to, we needed a face. No, we didn’t expect him to be the world champion. We knew if he fought the kind of fighters that were at that level that his chances of winning were probably slimmer," said Shaw. "But you’ve got to throw somebody up there as the best in the world, because you’ve got to put a face on the company. And that’s not to say he can’t become one of the best fighters in the world, cause he’s an athlete, he has talent, but that was the situation we were up against."

(Props: CageToday and "Juggo")

Our bro Ariel Helwani has landed his first big "get" at Versus.com — Jared Shaw, the stomach-tattooed uber-douche who acted as EliteXC Vice President during his father’s ill-fated promotional reign with the company. We scanned the interview hoping to find a quote in which Jared referred to himself in the third person, and Young Shaw did not disappoint. But before that, we were saddened to see $kala’s negative take on MMA blogs. (And after all we’ve done for you!) The whole thing is worth reading, but for now, check out this excerpt:

(Will brawl for food.)

Now that Strikeforce is getting its Pro Elite ducks in a row, we’re all wondering what, if anything, they’ll decide to do with Kimbo Slice.  He was an undeniable draw for EliteXC, but he also came with a hefty price tag that was maybe, just maybe, not justified by his performance in the cage, particularly in his last fight against Seth Petruzelli.

Strikeforce CEO Scott Coker seems sympathetic to the plight of the internet brawler, but perhaps not so much that he’s willing to keep paying him the six-figure salary Pro Elite did:

“I think that if you look back at the past, he could have been built up to have the fights that he needed to face the Seth Petruzellis of the world and be successful, but he wasn’t given the opportunity,” said Coker. “When I look at Kimbo, I don’t look at it as his fault. He was in a ‘no win’ situation.”

Kimbo’s manager, “Icey” Mike Imber, indicated that while he wasn’t enthusiastic about a pay-cut for his fighter, he’d consider it rather than keep him out of action indefinitely.  But one thing’s for sure, Bas Rutten will not be training Slice.  Ever.

(Benji Radach goes in for the kill against Murilo "Ninja" Rua at EliteXC: Heat last October. Photo courtesy of the Honolulu Star-Bulletin.)

From a new press release distributed by Strikeforce:

This won’t be the first time that a Strikeforce event has been broadcast on Showtime; Shamrock vs. Le aired live on the premium cable channel last March, and Shamrock vs. Baroni aired on Showtime PPV in June 2007. But now it looks like Strikeforce will be airing fight cards with the same frequency as the UFC — particularly when you include the quarterly specials on CBS, as has been reported — and that’s a significant step forward.

According to FiveOuncesofPain, one of the fights that will featured in the April 11th event will be a bout between Scott Smith and Benji Radach. Smith was featured twice in EliteXC’s live events on CBS, both times in unsuccessful efforts to claim Robbie Lawler’s middleweight title. (Their first fight was ruled a no-contest after Smith received an unintentional eye-poke in the third round that ended the match.) Somehow, Smith was able to extricate himself from his EliteXC contract after Pro Elite closed its doors, and last competed for Strikeforce in November, scoring a 24-second knockout over Terry Martin. Radach last competed at EliteXC: Heat in October, where he knocked out Murilo Rua in the second round.

Former Strikeforce middleweight champ Frank Shamrock and current Strikeforce lightweight champ Josh Thomson are also rumored to be on the card.

 
So I guess they’re stopping short of calling it an actual sale of the company, but according to Josh Gross it has been confirmed that Pro Elite and Strikeforce have finalized a transaction for an asset purchase. Here are the details, as of now:

If we had to guess, we’d say "run them directly into the ground," but we’re cynical like that. FiveOuncesofPain adds this important bit:

More to come…

(Everybody with talent, get on the bus to San Jose! Not so fast, Skala. Photo courtesy of NapkinNights.)

Keep your fingers crossed, because the EliteXC fighters whose contracts have been in limbo since late October — and who have been legally barred from competing for functioning organizations — may be free to move on with their careers. We were first alerted to the news by Mad Xyientist on the UG, who listens to Sherdog Radio so we don’t have to:

BloodyElbow follows this up with more details:

A lot has been said about Scott Coker’s incredible business sense, and how he’s been able to build what’s basically a regional outfit into a legitimately profitable operation that still manages to pay its fighters well, all while miraculously staying on Dana White’s good side. And yet we’re still shocked that Strikeforce has enough cash on hand to purchase as large a property as Pro Elite. Or maybe they’re just assuming some of Pro Elite’s sizable debt, and no actual money is switching hands. We’ll let you know when more details emerge. But for now, it seems like Gina Carano, Jake Shields, Robbie Lawler and the rest are one step closer to working again, and that’s great news.

(‘Let my people go!’)

EliteXC fighters have apparently had enough of waiting around to see what becomes of their contracts, and are now threatening to get tough.  MMA Payout reports that many of the fighters have joined forces with the Mixed Martial Arts Fighters’ Association to bring a formal complaint against the organization for holding them in limbo all this time.  EliteXC is said to have been given a week to respond before the fighters file their complaint in court.

Some high-profile agents, such as Ken Pavia and Ed Soares, are thought to be involved with filing the complaint, just as they were in banding together to stop the auction of the remaining fighter contracts.

Let’s hope the outcome is that EliteXC finally admits the jig is up and lets everyone get on with their lives.  But if that was acceptable to them you’d have to wonder why they haven’t done it already.  At least the clock is ticking now, so we should at least be moving in the direction of some sort of resolution.

(Photo courtesy of MMA Weekly.)

The California State Athletic Commission came down hard on Antonio Silva for flouting his steroid suspension and fighting in Japan last weekend, but they also proposed to fine and suspend his manager, American Top Team’s Alex Davis, for setting up the bout.  Davis isn’t taking the action lying down however, as he told us this afternoon that he plans to pursue the matter in civil court.

“We’ve got to.  I don’t see any other options at this point,” said Davis, who maintains that he can prove Silva’s innocence on the steroid charges.  “We’re going to go through civil court.”

Davis described the CSAC’s action against himself and Silva’s cornermen as an attempt to “extend their jurisdiction to the whole world,” and said Silva was motivated by financial necessity to take a fight in Japan after the CSAC turned down his appeal on the steroid charges.

“Antonio has acromegaly.  He has to treat it.  He spends between $6,000 and $8,000 a month just on medicine for it,” Davis said.  “He needs to be able to keep fighting to make a living.  If it’s between Antonio’s health and pleasing the athletic commission, we have to choose his health.”

 
(Let’s remember the good times. Props: Old, Bald, & Irish.)

First EliteXC tanked, leaving Gina Carano without an organization to call home.  But if that wasn’t enough of a kick in the ovaries, American Gladiators has also been cancelled.  We can’t say we didn’t see it coming, but it’s sad nonetheless.  If only the new American Gladiators could have captured some this kind of magic from the old AG, maybe they’d still be around.  Alas, it wasn’t meant to be.  Not only does this mean we may never again see “Crush” tossing old ladies around in a unitard, it also means Hulk Hogan is being released back into the wild, so look out.  

But just when all Carano’s revenue streams look to be drying up, it sounds as if Dana White may actually be serious about getting her signed.  The UFC prez told Five Ounces of Pain’s Gary Herman that Carano, Robbie Lawler, and Jake Shields are all former EliteXC fighters he’d like to sign.  He also chastised fighters for signing with “fly by night companies,” saying they were “wasting their time.”

There you have it, young fighters not in the UFC.  Don’t sign with organizations other than the UFC or you’ll be wasting your time.  Just keep fighting one-offs in tiny regional shows for almost no money.  Then, after the UFC signs you and later cuts you, it won’t be so hard to re-adjust to your life of poverty and despair.  See?  Circle of freaking life.

Props to CombatLifestyle, Sherdog, UFC.com, Fight! Magazine, TMZ, and the Las Vegas Sun.

#12: Wanderlei Silva celebrates his destruction of Keith Jardine at UFC 84.

#11: Urijah Faber bags himself a couple of sasquatches.

#10: Rashad Evans rushes in to finish an already knocked-dead Chuck Liddell at UFC 88.

#9 (tie): Paul Taylor knocks Chris Lytle’s jaw loose; Taylor gets his foot lodged in Lytle’s mouth.

After the jump: A naked Gina Carano, a punch-drunk Kimbo Slice, and a rather disappointed Joe Stevenson.

(“I used to take steroids. I still do, but I used to, too.” Photo courtesy of MMAonTap.)

Though he’s not allowed to fight in the U.S. again until July 26, 2009 because of his steroid suspension, Antonio Silva is close to signing a deal that would have him fight at Sengoku‘s January 4th event in Saitama, Japan. I guess this means that Sengoku plans on being the highest bidder when Silva’s contract is auctioned off on Monday. According to Tatame, Silva is “entering the common justice against the athletic commission” that upheld his suspension, which may be their way of saying he’s taking the law into his own hands. Fair enough; we didn’t really put much faith in Armando Garcia‘s rulings anyway.

Nightmare of Battle wonders if Sengoku’s recent pursuit of heavyweights — Dave Herman and Roger Gracie have reportedly received offers, and a fight between Josh Barnett and Kevin Randleman is rumored for the January event — indicates that a heavyweight Grand Prix could be in the works. How badass would that be? We’d say that’s worth defying the CSAC over — though there’s the risk that American MMA organizations would hold a permanent grudge against Bigfoot for fighting while under suspension, and refuse to work with him after the suspension is over. But it’s hard to resist the competitive urge when you’re an athlete. Maybe Silva hopes that everybody in the U.S. will have forgotten about his little horse-steroid misunderstanding by next summer?

(You do not want to mess with this man. Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle via myspace.com/kenpavia.)

Led by the always-outspoken Ken Pavia, a group of high-profile MMA agents have joined forces to block their fighters from being sold to the highest bidder during Showtime’s planned auction of Pro Elite’s corporate assets on November 17th. From a new press release drafted by the Pav, and signed by Monte Cox, Ed Soares, and Cesar Gracie, among others:

Individually we consummated promotional agreements with Pro Elite. These agreements were made based on a multiplicity of factors including but not limited to relationships with certain Pro Elite personnel, venues, television exposure, jurisdictional concerns, public relations support, and numerous other intangibles. These considerations are not readily transferable…

We intend to fight the lawful ability to transfer these assets, and as we believe these are personal services contracts, we do not believe there is an obligation to perform if transferred. With pooled resources we are prepared to fight this issue.

The unity of this effort is unprecedented and the message that is being sent is clear. Absent significant pre-established negotiated terms, do not bid on these contracts unless you are prepared to fight the challenge to their legality. It is our intention to honor our commitment to Pro Elite, but if Pro Elite is not able to perform in accordance with the contractual terms, the fighters should be granted unrestricted free agency with the unfettered ability to enter the marketplace.

It’s good to see business rivals uniting for the rights of their fighters, especially when they haven’t always been civil towards each other in the past. Hopefully Showtime will get the message that some of these “assets” they plan on auctioning actually represent the livelihoods of human beings.

In a development that few of you will admit to caring about, Tito Ortiz now says that returning to the UFC is a real possibility, and he’s looking to emerge from his competitive hiatus this summer. As Michael David Smith at AOL MMA FanHouse writes:

[At] last weekend’s Rumble in the Park in Fresno, Ortiz said, “It’s either going to be with the UFC or it’s going to be with Affliction, but guaranteed, you guys will see me fight — no matter what — by July.”

Ortiz also mentioned that he had back surgery last month, which he deemed successful. He also said it was the same surgery that Nate Quarry had, and Quarry was out of action for 15 months after his back surgery. So Ortiz is very optimistic if he thinks he can guarantee that he’ll return just seven months after the surgery.

He’s also optimistic if he thinks Affliction will still be in the MMA business in July. And he’s optimistic if he thinks UFC will still be willing to do business with him. Bottom line, Ortiz is an optimistic guy.

Of course, it could be worse: Ortiz was close to signing a contract with EliteXC. As former EliteXC fighter Jake Shields said, “Good thing he didn’t sign with them. He’d be on eBay.”

Quick timeline, if you haven’t been keeping up…

(Now that belt is worthless for two reasons.)

I never thought I’d admit this, but maybe KJ Noons’ decision not to defend his EliteXC lightweight title against Nick Diaz on CBS wasn’t so dumb after all. You’ll recall that everyone from Jared Shaw to, well, us, gave Noons a hard time for running from a Diaz rematch. He was eventually stripped of the title and claimed breach of contract as he headed back to the world of boxing, where he was champion of nothing and had no chance to be seen on network TV.

But now that EliteXC’s fighters are sidelined while they wait to find out whether their contracts will be auctioned off, declared void, or simply held on to in such a way that prevents them from making a living, Noons is off making money as a boxer again.

Noons (7-1 as a boxer) is set to face Alex Bogarin (8-6-3) in a six-rounder next Thursday at the Expo Center in El Monte, Calif. The fight won’t be on CBS in front of millions of viewers, so you can still argue that it was dumb of him to turn down that exposure and the opportunity to pull in some extra sponsorship money, but the fact remains that he’s working.

Sure, you could also wonder why, if he’s contractually free to box, he couldn’t have fought Diaz and defended his title like any respectable champion and still returned to boxing when EliteXC went tits up. But this has to feel like a moral victory for Noons, so let’s not spoil it with details. As for the rest of the EliteXC stable, let’s just say it’s looking like a lean Christmas this year at Scott Smith’s house.

(He’s officially gone from douchebag promoter to just a douchebag.)

The charade of EliteXC’s plan to hold an event in 2009 was hit with a reality check this week. According to a letter sent to MMA Payout by the California State Athletic Commission’s Armando Garcia:

Pro Elite/Elite XC’s and King of the Cage’s licenses are suspended. They were suspended yesterday, when after looking into the matter carefully the exact situation was determined. However, it is not due to any type of contracts…

The primary reason that Pro Elite/Elite XC’s and King of the Cage’s licenses have been placed on suspension is because of their financial states and the fact that Pro Elite, the owner of King of the Cage, has suspended operations and their tangible and intangible assets are being auctioned on November 17.

Hypothetically, if the auction goes through and one or more entities purchase either or both of these companies they would have to go through the licensing process. In other words, whatever it is that is being auctioned is not their California licenses.

Garcia also stated that the CSAC has no control over EliteXC’s fighter contracts, and “to have these types of contracts declared void the party (ies) would need to file a civil lawsuit in the appropriate court.” Which is unfortunate because Pro Elite isn’t giving those contracts up without a long, pointless, completely infuriating fight.

(Anyone want to buy a Kimbo?)

The date is set for the auction of Pro Elite’s assets. On November 17, everything that isn’t nailed down, and probably a bunch of stuff that is, will all be sold to the highest bidder. According to the notice of sale, fighter contracts are just part of what’s on the auction block:

The Collateral includes all contracts between any Debtor and mixed martial arts fighters (including, but not limited to, Kevin Ferguson a.k.a. “Kimbo Slice”, Gina Carano, Jake Shields, Robbie Lawler, Frank Shamrock, Antonio Silva, Brett Rogers, Dave Herman, Scott Smith, Nick Diaz, Cristiane Venancio Justino a.k.a. “Chris Cyborg”, Eddie Alvarez, Yves Edwards and Wilson Reis) and all of each Debtor’s video library, still photographs and home videos (e.g., DVDs and VHS tapes).

VHS tapes?! Say no more.

Is it me, or is there something creepy about the idea of selling fighters at auction? I can’t help but picture poor “Cyborg” Santos standing up there while sweaty-palmed promoters and fetish pornographers bid for her services, all while she struggles to understand what’s going on. You add Frank Shamrock and Kimbo Slice into that scenario and it begins to feel like a nightmare you have after overdosing on cold medicine.

(Name your price, gentleman.)

Maybe now we know why Pro Elite is trying to hold on to existing fighter contracts, and it isn’t because they intend to hold an event in early 2009. It’s because Showtime and CBS are auctioning off all their assets. This, according to an SEC filing this week:

“Showtime gave the Issuer a notice pursuant to the Security Agreement, as amended, that it intends to sell all of the Issuer’s personal property, whether tangible or intangible, to the highest bidder at a public sale,” the filing states. “Showtime reserves its rights under the Security Agreement, as amended, and applicable law to adjourn or cancel the sale and thereafter dispose of such property in a public or private sale or in any other manner provided by applicable law.”

Awesome, everybody loves an auction!

The way I see it, there’s never been a better time to scoop up some fighter contracts and start an impromptu MMA organization in your backyard. You get all your buddies together, everybody throws in a few bucks, and the next thing you know you have Nick Diaz and Robbie Lawler ready to throw down at your next party. If you move fast you might even get them to throw in some of the EliteXC hip-hop dancers.

That’s it, let’s take up a collection right now. Think of the possibilities…