Kevin “Kimbo Slice” Ferguson is an intimidating son-of-a-bitch. Still, there’s no excuse for what happened Saturday night at EliteXC: Renegade. Kimbo’s “opponent,” Bo Cantrell — a late replacement for the injured Mike Bourke — came into the fight completely psyched out, and after a couple of glancing shots from Kimbo, he dropped to the mat and started tapping for mercy. You have to watch the video to see just how pussified it was:

“Don’t forget to watch Kimbo Slice tear some poor cracker apart on Showtime tomorrow night at 10 p.m. ET/PT!”

Will do, Tanya. By the way, you’re easily the hottest Jewish girl we’ve seen all week…

Jennifer Tate has become the first female MMA fighter to test positive for drugs. Results of a drug test administered during EliteXC’s “Clash at Chumash” event — where Tate was submitted by Shayna Baszler via armbar — showed that Tate had marijuana in her system; she has been suspended for three months and fined $500. The spunky 130-pounder joins such notable mixed martial artists as Nick Diaz, Kazuhiro Nakamura, and Diego Sanchez in the previously male-dominated fraternity of fighters who can’t resist taking a few bong rips before a match. Viva equality!

EliteXC held a conference call yesterday to discuss their upcoming “Renegade” event, with live events president Gary Shaw and fighters Kimbo Slice, KJ Noons and Jake Shields in attendance. (The audio is here; dig that funky hold music.)

Obviously, the call belonged to Kimbo. Give this guy a few years and he’ll be operating on Tyson-esque levels of verbal entertainment/insanity. Some of his highlights:

[On training with Bas Rutten]: “Every aspect of my training has improved. My whole life has improved. I don’t even smoke any more. I haven’t had sex in four months. I haven’t had a cocktail in five, six months. So I’m pretty pure and backed up, and I’m ready to fight. My focus is on point. I’m accurate. I know how to use my power. My wind is outstanding. I’m ready for anything coming my way. My groundwork is superb. I’m an all?around fighter. I’m no longer one?dimensional. I’m not going to stand there and bang. Working with Bas, that’s like, man, he’s like the Jimmy Johnson, the John Madden of [MMA].”

Mike “The Rhino” Bourke, the 8-11-1 patsy that was scheduled to be obliterated by Kimbo Slice at the 11/10 EliteXC Renegade event in Corpus Christi, TX, has dropped off the card. Five Ounces reported today that Bourke broke his clavicle during a training session on Sunday, and was forced to pull out of the match. EliteXC has now confirmed that Kimbo’s new opponent at the event will be Bo “Redrum” Cantrell, an equally can-like 10-10-0 fighter who became a part of history on Saturday as the second consecutive guy that Brad Imes submitted by gogoplata.

Man, Elite is really hedging their bets on this one. Are they so insecure about Kimbo’s ability that they won’t put him up against a fighter with a winning record? MMA fans want to see Kimbo in an exciting fight, where he’s challenged, and they’re not going to get it this time. I couldn’t find any decent videos of Mike Bourke or Bo Cantrell in action, so here’s a Kimbo Slice highlight reel that you’ve probably already watched a dozen times. Wonderful.

(Still, that part at 0:41-0:44 where Kimbo lets the dude haul off and hit him in the face will never get old…)