Elvis Sinosic

By CagePotato.com contributor Kipp Tribble

10. Dan Severn (80-15-7)

Yes, he's a UFC Hall-of-Famer who still racks up wins in smaller organizations. He's also 53 goddamned years old. That has to be retirement age for a mixed martial artist. At this point in his life, he should be sipping Metamucil coladas and yelling at kids to get off of his lawn, not rolling on the mat with guys half his age. But we'll vote to let "The Beast" stick around for at least one more match to see if he can maintain bladder control when socked in the gut.

9. Elvis Sinosic (8-11-2)

His retarded nickname is bad enough; his consistent mediocrity is absolutely inexcusable. Let’s start with the fact that he just got knocked out at Cage Rage by Paul Cahoon — a fighter playing .500 ball himself — in a mere 21 seconds. Well played, King, well played. While he may still have some fights left in him, we'd rather not risk having to yawn through another of his sleepwalk matches. Go back to Australia and rock ‘n rumble with the 'roos, Elvis. They’ll probably take longer than 21 seconds to knock your middling ass out.

8. Nick Diaz (15-7, 1 NC)

Nick gets a spot on the list not for his positive marijuana test or terminated UFC contracts, but for his volcanic eye sockets. By now, the guy isn't able to make it through one round without his eyelids shredding, the result of a rare condition also known as "shitty defense that causes your fragile face to get punched in." We felt his pain when the doctor stopped his fight against K.J. Noons at EliteXC: Renegade, but unless he's allowed to step into the ring wearing safety goggles, Little Nicky’s gotta go.

U.K.-based MMA organization Cage Rage is putting on a thoroughly kickass show tomorrow, featuring Murilo "Ninja" Rua, Elvis Sinosic, Mark Weir, Neil Grove, and TUF3 alum Ross Pointon. Check out the full fight card here. I'd never heard of Rua's opponent Xavier Foupa-Pokam (please keep your "fupa-poker" jokes to yourself), so I decided to search for a clip of him in action, which I've posted below. Rua might have his hands full, as Foupa-Pokam looks like a sharp striker who's absolutely deadly once he falls on his ass. You should also keep an eye out for Neil Grove, a 4-0 heavyweight bruiser whose last two fights resulted in a 10-second knockout of James "The Colossus" Thompson (the video is below) and a 34-second TKO of Domagoj Ostojic. Cage Rage 24 can be seen live at ProElite.com PPV; the action kicks off at 1 p.m. ET.

(Xavier Foupa-Pokam vs. Alex Cook at Cage Rage 18, 9/30/06)

(Neil Grove vs. James Thompson at Cage Rage 22, 7/14/07)

#10 (tie): Chris "The Polish Hammer" Horodecki, Peter "The Dutch Lumberjack" Aerts

Though it has a long, proud history, the nationality + noun combination is always a risky move when crafting a nickname. If it's "The Polish ____" it can end up sounding like the setup to a joke. (i.e., "You hear the one about the Polish Hammer? They use it to pound fingernails." Or something like that, but much funnier.) With any other nationality, like "The Dutch ____," it can end up sounding like a deviant sex act. Marcus "The Irish Hand Grenade" Davis gets a pass because hand grenades are badass.